What are you so miserable about? Cheer up!

The message from certain crowds appears to be: 'There is no escaping the embittered club, sooner or later, you will join us!'

There are suggestions that if one hasn't got intense hatred for certain elements of thai culture, one will do eventually. It implies that life is a struggle for them. It's not only on this board either, just sitting with some farang for a drink at a bar and their peeves spill out, but I never really took it seriously. What has happened to these people? Failed businesses? Broken hearts? $$$?

What is this supposed hidden element of exposure to Thai society that so destroys the farang spirit? Is there a genuine problem with Thai society, or are the west just exporting depressives to asia over quota?

I think that some people will be miserable no matter where they are. :cyclopsani:

[cottmann]

The message from certain crowds appears to be: 'There is no escaping the embittered club, sooner or later, you will join us!'

There are suggestions that if one hasn't got intense hatred for certain elements of thai culture, one will do eventually. It implies that life is a struggle for them. It's not only on this board either, just sitting with some farang for a drink at a bar and their peeves spill out, but I never really took it seriously. What has happened to these people? Failed businesses? Broken hearts? $$$?

What is this supposed hidden element of exposure to Thai society that so destroys the farang spirit? Is there a genuine problem with Thai society, or are the west just exporting depressives to asia over quota?

Probably all of above. Some of the falangs I've met seem to believe Thailand would be wonderful if it were only more like home. :compress:

[catawampuscat]

There are chronic complainers in Pattaya who should be avoided and ignored like a couple of permanently smited posters.. They hate the food, they hate the tattoos, the hate the music, the hate the traffic lights and the condition of the streets,they hate having to pay 5 baht more for things, they hate everything but they love
being touched, they love touching, they love feeling things they haven't felt in many years or some never, but they are still the same miserable people who lived in the states or Europe or Australia and just can't make the change.. Most of these miserable complaining gits find a bar to make a second home and drink themselves into a mess everynite or find new comers to bitch and moan to as misery loves company..............

Oh Geez!
No, Thai society is PERFECT.
It is heaven on earth.
All Thai people are as angels incarnate, they are happy happy happy and don't worry about mundane things like how they are going to survive. They don't have a care in the world, and they love all farangs as their equals.
Satisfied?

I think that some people will be miserable no matter where they are.

I think you summed it up very well.
Buddhist saying: "Where ever you go; there you are."

I think that some people will be miserable no matter where they are.

I think you summed it up very well.
Buddhist saying: "Where ever you go; there you are."
Is that really a Buddhist saying, because of course, that is true.
I think this is a false, black or white, picture that is painted that has nothing to do with reality.
It is silly to check your brain at BKK airport when you enter Thailand.
It is not a matter of miserable or happy, it is a matter of facing the reality of where you are from the perspective of who you are.

I think that some people will be miserable no matter where they are.

I think you summed it up very well.
Buddhist saying: "Where ever you go; there you are."
Is that really a Buddhist saying, because of course, that is true.

It was something in a book I read regarding applying Buddhist concepts to (ones) life. Another was, "This, too, shall pass." Sorry, it was a library book; I don't have in front of me & can't remember the title: Why I'm well known for being a ditz. (Did you ever mislay your underwear? Yes, yes, we all have, you should see my collection--But did you ever mislay it in the refrigerator?)



I think this is a false, black or white, picture that is painted that has nothing to do with reality.
It is silly to check your brain at BKK airport when you enter Thailand. It is not a matter of miserable or happy, it is a matter of facing the reality of where you are from the perspective of who you are.

I think, many (I did not say, 'all'.) people relocate, or visit a place (How many movies have been made about that!), thinking their luck will change, as if by magic--And become bitter, disillusioned...when it simply doesn't happen. They are still the same person they were back home, with the same--Good or bad--baggage. But it's so easy to blame other people--Or a place, the weather, what you ate for breakfast; anything or anyone but yourself.
Luck is fickle--And fictile: don't count on luck, get out and make your own. If things don't work out, ask what you did wrong and try again--But do it differently. Repeat as necessary until you get it right. If you must cast blame, cast it for the good stuff: don't forget to thank, at least inwardly; those who helped. Get over the bad ones; they aren't worth allowing to live, rent free, in your head.
Cut yourself, and others, some slack. Everyone's entitled to wallow in a bad day now-and-then. But if you're having too many bad days, go to your room and stay there until you figure out why--Then do something about it! If you can't figure out why, imagine what it would be like if you were dead. If that seems like a good thing...Get help!

Above all; smile!...if for no other reason than it pisses some people off--And makes others wonder what the hell you've been up to!

No, Thai society is PERFECT.

Are these major shortcomings of Thai society that it is imperfect, and the cause of the miserable farang is that they feel they are entitled to perfection? It sure sounds like perfection is the only thing that would satisfy some of these miserable farang. In which case, the problem is hardly Thai society, and such farang are the cause of their own misery, and want to play the victimization game.

Edith your post is very well written, I agree strongly.

such farang are the cause of their own misery, and want to play the victimization game.

Yes, some people always set themselves up to be the victim. Those (We all know some.) who never dump anyone but are always dumped...they make themselves so dumpable...come to mind; as do those who keep repeating the same mistakes over and over and over and never get over it. The vulnerable bit can work like a charm for some...when they are young--But once they reach...a certain...age it becomes tiresome & increasingly more difficult to find someone (The kindness of strangers, or an enabler.) ready and willing to pick them up out of the pits and carry them over the bad patch.
"I was lying in the gutter--But I was looking up at the stars," may sound romantic but it's not to whomever (Has to.) picks them out of the dog crap and clean the puke off them. I've picked a few of those myself; now I run like hell. I have friends who always fall for those. Some--A few--learned, the hard way; it's best to leave them be--But if one must; then rent a room for the night--And leave a wake-up call at the desk on your way out.

Edith, for your new word,
they make themselves so dumpable. dumpable, I am going to hit the applaude button. :cheers: :cheers:

Another quote from the Buddha: "suffering is cause by possessions"

Another quote from the Buddha: "suffering is cause by possessions"

I have no possessions; I'm possessed! :tongue2:
(As for that which possesses me...my mama used to say, "When you die, I pity the devil." :cussing: )

Good posts, Edith.

Seems to me that a lot of the worst complainers simply don't have enough to do!

Thailand and its culture are not perfect- no place is- but I vastly prefer its imperfections to those in my native country.

Thailand and its culture are not perfect- no place is- but I vastly prefer its imperfections to those in my native country.
I imagine that is because you are infinitely more familiar with the imperfections of your native country. The frustrations of living in a foreign country are manifold; I travel often to the US, spending 4 - 6 weeks there at a time and find it to be a totally dysfunctional society. I don't bother complaining or commenting (to the natives) because there is nothing I can do to change it. Equally I often find (as do many foreigners in Asia) that the whole "save face" thing along with a general chauvinism to be wearing - at times. I find the best attitude is being able to laugh at what is going on (along with the Chosen Few of like minds with whom I consort). But then, that should be obvious from the Jane Austen footer that currently accompanies my posts

No, Thai society is PERFECT.

Are these major shortcomings of Thai society that it is imperfect, and the cause of the miserable farang is that they feel they are entitled to perfection? It sure sounds like perfection is the only thing that would satisfy some of these miserable farang. In which case, the problem is hardly Thai society, and such farang are the cause of their own misery, and want to play the victimization game.

Edith your post is very well written, I agree strongly.
Perhaps there are lots of farangs like this, who are seeking in a country their personal definition of perfection.
To be clear in case you are talking about me, I don't feel that way at all.
I don't believe a perfect or even near perfect country exists.
I feel you need to be very flexible in so many ways to enjoy the expatriate experience, and just learn to accept the ways of your host country, and above all, keep a sense of humor about it!