A short journal entry on saying goodbye in Isaan

[bao-bao]

Story will appear at some point on the blog.

[catawampuscat]

It is good to have a new voice on this forum, sort of like a breath of fresh air and urgently needed as it can get same old same old...

I did cringe a little bit with the uncle/nephew names, as it seemed very dated to me , pre-Stonewall, pre- Boys in the Band,
but maybe I am oversensitive having lived thru that very closeted period of time.. I am sure these are affectionate terms meant
to make the family comfortable and the relationship acceptable but still it makes me cringe just a bit..

I love being gay and proud and everyone I worked with and everyone in my family has known I am queer for many decades and
there are many farangs in Pattaya who live in closets and live lies with their family, friends and workmates.. Several men I know actually have wives and children who don't know who their dad/husband really is.. One very closeted man I know recently went on
a visa run with the usual gang of straight farangs, who only talk pussy and he joined in, inventing stories to be one of the guys.. Of course, I wouldn't go out of my way to broadcast my homosexuality with everyone I meet, but lying is just adding another door to the
closet and proof of shame.. When I am in that situation, I get a little holier than thou and say that I am not into scene and find it exploitive and depressing to see fat old men pawing young girls etc.. Of course, I am pinned as a wet blanket but it shuts up the assholes on the visa run.. I have no patience with breeders and avoid straight farangs like the plague but that is my hangup..

Keep it up bao and don't let opinionated posters like catawampuscat interfere with your heartfelt and very personal postings...

[bao-bao]

You're correct - When we first met I'd told him I'd happy to be an "older brother" or "uncle" for him and that got the issue of sex out of the way. He's a beautiful young man but sex can ruin otherwise good friendships sometimes and neither of us wanted that. They're just terms of affection that we use in a joking fashion most of the time. I was introduced to family by my first name to begin with.

Sigh - gold old memories.

I used to be known as Uncle come from the sky by my BF`s little nephews.

I loved your post, so heartfelt and touching.

DELETED

[allieb]

He is from a humble rice farming family and is the first of his family to manage to get an education. He has never asked for anything more than bus money a couple of times and has not often accepted anything more than a meal out. Thinking it would be a kindness I took him on holiday and showed him a couple weeks of life in the Big City, far from their rice paddies.

Bao Bao

I looks like you have found Mr Special. You obviously love him and he you. I agree with other posters that the Uncle nephew thing is a bit OTT. It reminds me of closit queens from years gone, introducing their bf as nephew, thinking it sort of made everything Kosha.

The trip to the big city was a very nice thing to do, but remember he had to go back to the rice fields where everything goes back to the way it was. You go back to your country where its much the same as the big city.

If I were you and wanted to keep this lovely thing going I would open him a bank account immediatly and hand him the pass book. Send him a monthly sum of say $100 or so. I'm sure it wouldn,t make a big difference to you finances but it would make a huge difference to the life style of this humble rice farming family. This way he wouldn't have to ask, and he wouldn't have to refuse your offers. You would be able to go to bed at night knowing that you are being like a real Uncle ( who is wealthy compared to them) and raising them a bit higher than the bread line.

[allieb]

He is from a humble rice farming family and is the first of his family to manage to get an education. He has never asked for anything more than bus money a couple of times and has not often accepted anything more than a meal out. Thinking it would be a kindness I took him on holiday and showed him a couple weeks of life in the Big City, far from their rice paddies.

Bao Bao

I looks like you have found Mr Special. You obviously love him and he you. I agree with other posters that the Uncle nephew thing is a bit OTT. It reminds me of closit queens from years gone, introducing their bf as nephew, thinking it sort of made everything Kosha.

The trip to the big city was a very nice thing to do, but remember he had to go back to the rice fields where everything goes back to the way it was. You go back to your country where its much the same as the big city.

If I were you and wanted to keep this lovely thing going I would open him a bank account immediatly and hand him the pass book. Send him a monthly sum of say $100 or so. I'm sure it wouldn,t make a big difference to you finances but it would make a huge difference to the life style of this humble rice farming family. This way he wouldn't have to ask, and he wouldn't have to refuse your offers. You would be able to go to bed at night knowing that you are being like a real Uncle ( who is wealthy compared to them) and raising them a bit higher than the bread line.

Reading this made me cringe as well, I immediately thought of the dear departed BC, what a waste of paper she was.

[paulg]

You're correct - When we first met I'd told him I'd happy to be an "older brother" or "uncle" for him and that got the issue of sex out of the way. He's a beautiful young man but sex can ruin otherwise good friendships sometimes and neither of us wanted that. They're just terms of affection that we use in a joking fashion most of the time. I was introduced to family by my first name to begin with.

when you read his follow up it does not seem that bad at all

what do the people complaining suggest the boy should call him

in my family when growing up everybody was uncle aunty

what do your boys call you mr ATM???

I wasnтАЩt тАЬUncle,тАЭ I was just another farang, trying to understand and appreciate a culture very different than their own; merely another person waiting in an anonymous crowd.


Nice story bao-bao. Thanks for sharing. Look forward to reading more about your experiences in Thailand

[Aunty]

Well I don't understand it but young men never call me Aunty. Usually they call me bitch, or if they're being really nice, fucking bitch.

Maybe it's the gin?

[paulg]

[

Well at least your a proud poof,just a matter of interest,how long how many decades have you been bending over forwards to help other blokes out?

no need to be jealous there is room for straight acting midgets to get fucked up the arse, by ladyboys night after night

just do what you always do because you are obese lie on your back and think of oxford st

dont give them a parking ticket if they stay too long trying to find their watch

[Dodger]

Bao-Bao...

I enjoyed every word.

The way you expressed your emotions re-kindled vivid memories, most of which are a bit painful to recall.

You both exchanged gifts to each other that are irreplacable, and that is your true compassion. I hope you build on that and continue to enjoy the love you have for each other.

Waiting for Part Two...


mai pen rai

[bao-bao]

The terms "Uncle" and "Nephew" began as a joke between us long before we ever met in person. What I should clarify again, though, is that this hasnot been a lover relationship, any more than I would think the posting members would have sex with their true related nephews.

Thanks to those who posted the positive words - I appreciated them.

Uncle is a term of respect many young Thais use for older men. I can never keep up with who is a blood uncle, auntie, brother and who is adopted. The lady who owns the all night chicken rice restaurant refers to me as nong-chai (young brother) and has made me promise to visit her sister when I go to Chang Rai next week because I am family. Several boys I have known for a long time refer to me as their brother, and a couple of the impertinent ones call me sister (the cheek).

The BS has already told me his young sister will learn to call me Uncle when I am in his home next week.

Close, platonic relationships between an older gay farang and a young Thai man can actually exist in LOS?!!? Who would have thunk it?

Nice post BB.

[GWMinUS]

My experience is more in the Philippines.
When I meet young men I always tell my name.
But they are not comfortable referring to me by my name.
They would rather call me Uncle, Dad or Dear.
They all make me cringe, so I asked why this way of addressing an older friend.
The response has been universial. It is a matter for respect.
To refer to an older person by thier given name is to not respect them.
So I give up. I am Uncle or Dad, but just don't call me Dear!!!
:salute:

Many thanks for the story!!!

[lonelywombat]

Uncle is a term of respect many young Thais use for older men. I can never keep up with who is a blood uncle, auntie, brother and who is adopted. The lady who owns the all night chicken rice restaurant refers to me as nong-chai (young brother) and has made me promise to visit her sister when I go to Chang Rai next week because I am family. Several boys I have known for a long time refer to me as their brother, and a couple of the impertinent ones call me sister (the cheek).

The BS has already told me his young sister will learn to call me Uncle when I am in his home next week.

Close, platonic relationships between an older gay farang and a young Thai man can actually exist in LOS?!!? Who would have thunk it?

Nice post BB.

At first I was offended when called papa, but as I got used to it and realized it was a form of respect, learnt to live with it.

Uncle, papa, brother who cares. People are trying to see something sinister in nothing.

Warming and touching ....I too have Issan boy, like a son., no sex between us and I am educating at Unviersity in Bangkok
He just took English exam and finished 20th out of 250............I AM SO PROUD OF HIM

Aloha Kawika