Boris and arsenal - a secret tryst?

[frequent]

arsenal proudly proclaims himself to be British. Did the British Foreign Secretary hint at a meeting with him earlier this month (http://www.nationmultimedia.com/detail/asean-plus/30338918)? "As I have just discovered we have more than a million who go to Thailand every year", Boris said, "where ... they get up to the most eye-popping things". I eagerly await the #BlackFrocksMatter brigade's statement on this revelation. Mind you, I've always though Pattaya to be the ideal setting for a very down-market version of Terence Rattigan's Separate Tables (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Separate_Tables). At least many of its denizens can now find new places to holiday and fresh occupations, courtesy of Oxfam (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/oxfam-prostitution-scandal-roland-van-hauwermeiren-haiti-earthquake-deeply-ashamed-a8213196.html)

[arsenal]

:dirol_mini:

[scottish-guy]

Most ironic moment of the week :

Spectacularly unaware BBC interviewer vigorously harassing Oxfam representative - "So you can't give me an assurance there are no sexual predators within your organisation?"

One of those instances when you really wanted to shout at the telly (kinda like any time Boris the Bumbling Buffoon appears)

[frequent]

You mean there are sexual predators currently in the BBC?

[scottish-guy]

Assuming that your comment is not made with your tongue firmly in your cheek -

You mean you don't know that a person I believe is still their highest paid "entertainer" has been accused of multiple instances of predatory behaviour?

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- not to mention that historical BBC sexual predators who were finally exposed (Saville, Harris, Hall et al - and I mention only the most notorious, there's several more "lesser known" ones ) had all been shielded for decades by the organisaton.

Could the BBC give an assurance that there are not sexual predators within its organisation"? Given their history of colluding in covering up sexual predation of the very worst kind, you don't see the irony?

[joe552]

Is arsenal about to "out" Boris on the BBC? Or have I missed the point of the thread again?

[scottish-guy]

Hopefully the latter - the thought that Arsenal and Boris may have had a shag in the past is just too horrific to contemplate.

I've heard about rich toffs like Boris occasionally fancying a bit of rough trade though, so that could explain it

[arsenal]

Can't wait to see how this thread develops. You should probably look away now Francois.

[poshglasgow]

Most ironic moment of the week :

Spectacularly unaware BBC interviewer vigorously harassing Oxfam representative - "So you can't give me an assurance there are no sexual predators within your organisation?"

One of those instances when you really wanted to shout at the telly (kinda like any time Boris the Bumbling Buffoon appears)

I agree SG. I watched the same interview, and as the naive question was asked, I thought: what a bloody silly question. How on earth can anyone give that kind of assurance. It's like asking the Pope if he can give an assurance that every altar boys is now safe in the sacristy, or asking the the late Baden-Powell, whether he expected all boy scouts to make it through adolescence with their woggles intact!

It's like the CRB (as was) - now called the DBS - checks that teachers, and all who care for the young or vulnerable go though before being appointed to a post. All it really means is that up until that date there has been no relevant offending recorded. It offers no guarantee that the applicant is averse to improper thoughts and deeds. There are no guarantees where humanity is concerned.

[scottish-guy]

Exactly - it's the ones who have so far escaped detection we need to worry about - not those already convicted and whom we know about

[frequent]

Exactly - it's the ones who have so far escaped detection we need to worry about - not those already convicted and whom we know aboutEspecially as most activity of that sort occurs within families

[frequent]

Hopefully the latter - the thought that Arsenal and Boris may have had a shag in the past is just too horrific to contemplate.At least we can take comfort that sodomy at Eton in Boris' day took place between the boys, and I doubt that someone like arsenal who, if he had any association with Eton at all would have been because his mother was a Boys' Maid (http://www.etoncollege.com/glossary.aspx#b), would have had the opportunity to take it up his arse n' all at that time

[frequent]

It's like the CRB (as was) - now called the DBS - checks that teachers, and all who care for the young or vulnerable go though before being appointed to a post. All it really means is that up until that date there has been no relevant offending recorded. It offers no guarantee that the applicant is averse to improper thoughts and deeds. There are no guarantees where humanity is concerned.It's a reporter's job to ask questions, however inconvenient the answer might be, and often how stupid the question appears. Journalism is not an occupation where Matthew 7: 3 -5 applies. Quite the opposite.

[frequent]

With his unparalleled knowledge and understanding of all things Thai, arsenal can confirm that Boris’ interest in Thailand started when he and Mark were at Eton together, and will be able to recount the most famous boast Boris makes about Mark. Over to you, arsenal

[scottish-guy]

.... arsenal who, if he had any association with Eton at all.....

The way I heard it, Arsenal graduated from Eton and went to Drinkin'

:yahoo_mini:

[frequent]

The way I heard it, Arsenal graduated from Eton and went to Drinkin'His father was a greengrocer which is why he uses the Greengrocer's Apostrophe (https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/greengrocer%27s_apostrophe) so often

[arsenal]

Mr Chuckles is indeed in fine form.
:D

[Patanawet]

You mean there are sexual predators currently in the BBC?
Why only the BBC --- is ITV squeaky clean? Having worked for ITV, I can answer my own question -- NO.

[Patanawet]

I heard a rumour (or did I start it?) that Arsenal and Boris are one and the same person. After all no one has seen them together at the same time.

[arsenal]

:rolleyes:

[scottish-guy]

Why only the BBC --- is ITV squeaky clean? Having worked for ITV, I can answer my own question -- NO.

Well, from what we and the world already knows, the BBC seem to have had almost a monopoly on employing and hiding a particular type of pervert within their ranks - but if you can point to similar cases to Jimmy Saville, Rolf Harris, and Stuart Hall (to name but 3) within ITV I'm sure you'd be performing a public service

[arsenal]

Do not point to anyone unless convicted or already acused. For example Bill Cosby is ok. For a good laugh go on to YouTube and watch Eddie Murphy's acceptance speech for the Mark Twain award.

[frequent]

Why only the BBC --- is ITV squeaky clean? Having worked for ITV, I can answer my own question -- NO.According to the #BlackFrocksMatter branch of the Lesbian Thought Police that means you should stop watching ITV immediately. In this story in the New Yorker (https://www.newyorker.com/culture/annals-of-gastronomy/the-role-of-the-restaurant-critic-in-the-age-of-metoo), it's suggested food critics should stop reviewing restaurants where there's been an accusation (not proof, accusation) of sexual harassment

[scottish-guy]

Well I went into a restaurant last month and got crabs..... I feel a campaign coming on

[poshglasgow]

Why only the BBC --- is ITV squeaky clean? Having worked for ITV, I can answer my own question -- NO.

Well, one only has to look at a list of ITV programmes, both past and current........

The 10 Percenters (1994–1996) (Eh, what is it they say about the percentage of gay guys in society?)
The Adventures of Sir Lance-a-lot (1956–1957). I've added a couple of hyphens to throw some light on the type of adventures.
The Buccaneers (1956–1957) - 'When riding a pirate do you hang onto his buccaneers or his buccan shoulders?'
The Count of Monte Cristo (1956) "Well counting up, I'd say that my bill for a night out in Jomtein came to 4,000 baht. Off fees are a tad steep these days," said Monty.
A Country Practice (various ITV regions between 1982 and 1999). We're all familiar with the occasional defendant for whom his favoured country practice is a 'no-no'!
The Gay Cavalier (1957). "Right, lads, never mind Cromwell, who wants to see a real roundhead?"
Get a Grip (2007. "Brother Alfonso, is that a holy order or an invitation?"
Golden Balls (2007–2009)
I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here! (ITV & ITV2 2002–present) "Why did I ever agree to meet Savile for dinner in the mortuary at Stoke Mandeville?"
Judge (G)rinder (2014–present)
Little Boy Blue (2017) Eh, no, let's not go there.
Never the Twain (1981-1991) "Are you telling me that he failed to make his 'Mark' on Tom and Huck?"
Odd Man Out (1977)
Odd One In (2010-2011)
Please Sir! (1968–1972) "Please sir, can you stop doing that?"
Police Camera Action! (ITV & ITV4 1994–2010) They've caught up with sir (above)
The Prisoner (1967–1968, remake 2009) The conclusion to the two above.
The Protectors (1972–1974) Saga of life in a Durex factory.
Queenie's Castle (1970-1972) Cafe Royale, Pattaya, (circa Ian and Robbie)!!
Rising Damp (1974-1978, repeated on ITV3) Comes to us all, dear, time for another prostate examination!
The Second Coming (2003) Show-off!
The Secret Service (1969) "In addition to booking an early morning call and the continental breakfast, would sir like to avail himself of our Secret Service?"
Splash! (2013–14) Pass the Kleenex.
Staying Alive (1996-1997) 'Use a 'johnny'
Through the Keyhole (ITV 1987–1995 & 2013–present, Sky One 1996, BBC 1997–2008) - "While you're getting your key out, watch how accurately I can ejaculate."
Torchy the (assault and) Battery Boy (1960-1961)
Ultimate Force (2002-2008, repeated on ITV4 & CBS Action) (remind you of anyone on this board)?
Upstairs, Downstairs (ITV 1971–1975; remake, BBC One 2010–2012) Featuring the Queen Mum's favourite 'but'ler, Backstairs Billy! More up than down, I hear.
The Vice (1999–2003)
Whiplash (1960–1961)
The Whole 19 Yards (2010), Not fisting, but jogging!!
The XYY Man (1976) The sequel is out next week: the KY Jellybaby.

That's it, I'm off to bed!

[frequent]

The 10 Percenters (1994–1996) (Eh, what is it they say about the percentage of gay guys in society?) It depends on who "they" are. If it's the realists then it's one in twenty ie. 5%. That's the generally accepted statistic for the exclusively gay. It only increases when you start including bisexuals, which is why the lobbyists absolutely love talking about that non-existent thing, the "LGBTQI community". What they don't mention is their total betrayal of the "B" component, since same-sex marriage only caters for one spouse at a time, and fairly obviously a bisexual should have the right to be married to a man and a woman at the same time. Kinsey's statistics largely focus on same sex activity, which is not the same as either "gay" or "bisexual" and gave a high reading of 37%. That includes "fooling around" in the dorm at Eton

[arsenal]

Frequent wrote.
"that non-existent thing, the "LGBTQI community"

Exactly. It exists in the same way as unicorns and mermaids.

[frequent]

Exactly. It exists in the same way as unicorns and mermaids.And SGT Moderators' knowledge of Thailand

[arsenal]

"Alright A447."
"Gday Arsenal."
"Ere, Frequent days we don't know nothing about Thailand."
"That's rubbish. We know loads."
"Yea, loads."
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0
0
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"What's Tie Land?"
"Dunno, similar to Sockshop I s'pose.
"Yea."

[scottish-guy]

In the scenario above, why is Arsenal talking in the style of Ronnie Kray?

[frequent]

In the scenario above, why is Arsenal talking in the style of Ronnie Kray?Didn’t Ronnie prefer drag queens? arsenal prefers to take it up the arse from straight boys . Maybe he thinks he’s Reggie?

[scottish-guy]

Ronnie liked Drag Queens you say - I never heard that one before - need to research.

I always understood he like them young and a bit rough round the edges

[frequent]

Drag Queens you say - I never heard that - need to researchI’m merely basing that on the Monty Python sketch about the Krays featuring a monologue from John Cleese in drag. That’s my general intellectual level I’m afraid - off-beat humour (hence teasing arsenal). It also explains my interest in Salmonella and La Sturgeon - theatre of the absurd, Waiting for Godot, you know the sort of thing

[arsenal]

London Vernacular. Frequents humour has never shown itself here. Panic, when he knew what was coming, yes and rabid spittle, oh yes. But humour...we await with interest and a little fascination to see some of Mr Chuckles alleged humour.

[frequent]

I don’t aim for mere humour arsenal. My aims are Dadaesque

[arsenal]

That reply took you too long to be worth anything.

[catawampuscat]

I thought arsenal might respond to frequents assertion that arsenal likes taking it up the ass from straight guys.

[frequent]

I thought arsenal might respond to frequents assertion that arsenal likes taking it up the ass from straight guys.He's too busy burnishing his unparalleled knowledge and understanding of Thailand and Thai ways

[arsenal]

A skilled practitioner could take it up the arse while burnishing the knowledge at the same time. Perhaps that explains Frequent's inexhaustable knowledge.

[frequent]

A skilled practitioner could take it up the arse while burnishing the knowledge at the same time. Perhaps that explains Frequent's inexhaustable knowledge."That reply took you too long to be worth anything."

[arsenal]

Immitation blah blah blah best form of flattery blah blah blah.

[frequent]

I think you’ll find it’s spelt “imitation”. The saying is “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery”

[joe552]

Gosh this is interesting. And before any of you can say it, yes I'm guilty of flooding the board with meaningless crap.

[frequent]

You can’t beat arsenal for an unparalleled understanding of Thailand and the Thais Joe

[arsenal]

Mr Chuckles is too kind but is is he we look to for the finer points of everything Thai.

[frequent]

Mr Chuckles is too kind but is is he we look to for the finer points of everything Thai.And quite right too but that’s not what I mean when I refer to your unparalleled understanding of Thailand and the Thais

[arsenal]

;)

[poshglasgow]

Ronnie liked Drag Queens you say - I never heard that one before - need to research.

I always understood he like them young and a bit rough round the edges

I am of the same opinion as SG. Ronnie's young men were exactly that: young men - not drag queens (unless he was 'dragging' them home from Esmeralda's Barn). Am I right in thinking that I have read somewhere and have heard it said that Reggie, reputedly the straight twin, was not averse to "crossing the floor"? I'm not convinced.

One of the few guys to criticise Ronnie's penchant for the love that dare not speak its name (thank you Oscar) was George Cornell, who paid the ultimate price, allegedly, for his gross impertinence (calling Ronnie a 'fat poof') in March 1966 in the Blind Beggar pub. Apparently, a stray bullet from an 'unknown source' entered the pub and embedded itself in Mr. Cornell's forehead (bloody inconvenient), while the juke box - rather ironically- pumped out "The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine" by the Walker Brothers. No one moved. No one saw a thing.
"Right, keep your bleedin' 'eads downs and don't take your eyes off your dominoes. The Old BIll's on their way!"

"Evenin', officer. Shootin'? what shootin'? You say a bloke came in 'ere with a gun, walked up to Mister Cornell and finished 'im off? Nah, mate, you're 'avin a laugh, must 'ave the wrong pub. Anyway, we get a load of stray bullets around 'ere at this time of year.
What's that, Guv? The Barmaid's blouse is covered in blood, you say? Nah, that ain't blood, mate, that's nail polish, that is. I mean what do you expect when a bird's trying to paint her nails while pullin' bleedin' pints at the same time? Anyway, Guv, you goin' to stand there all night asking all them bleedin' silly questions, or are you goin' to 'ave a pint?
Eh? On duty? What's that all about? You should be 'duty free', mate, a subject about which a few of us in 'ere 'ave a certain expertise, If you get my drift."

[frequent]

I always understood he like them young and a bit rough round the edgesYou're thinking of arsenal

[scottish-guy]

...Am I right in thinking that I have read somewhere and have heard it said that Reggie, reputedly the straight twin, was not averse to "crossing the floor"?...

Yes you have read that - another (fairly recent) allegation is that Reggie was (at best) bisexual and it goes that whilst teenagers and young men they were fiddling with each other.

I could just about give credence to that happening as teenagers (isn't the whole 'brothers' thing a bit of a gay fantasy never mind twin brothers) but I find it impossible to believe that Reggie "dabbled" when older - and my reason for saying that is that so many of their criminal associates have been interviewed over the passing decades and none that I can recall has cast any doubt in that direction whereas all were quite prepared to allude to Ronnie's predictions.

Given that Ronnie was even more of a psychopath than Reggie (in the George Cornell shooting he walked straight up to him in full view of a busy pub and just casually shot him in the head) I find it difficult to understand why known associates would (even at the time) refer to Ronnie's homosexuality but not Reggie's


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[snotface]

A regular customer of mine when I used to drive a minicab was an elderly small-time criminal with the unusual name of Dexter, who had spent more of his adult life inside than out. He knew the Krays in the sixties and admitted that it was no fun getting on the wrong side of them. He owed them a bit of money once and next time he saw them Reggie asked him all innocently, 'Seen Jack lately, have you, Dex?' About a week earlier the twins had lured Jack 'The Hat' McVitie into a basement and knifed him to death. Duly put on notice, Dex promised to pay what he owed asap. He told me he spent the next few nights getting up from bed every few minutes to make sure all was clear outside.

Dexter was not the sharpest tool in the box and nor, it seemed, were some of his accomplices. I heard a funny story in the cab office. Wearing masks, he and an associate held up a petrol station one night, one emptying the till while the other pointed a gun at the terrified cashier. When they were done, the accomplice said, 'Okay, Dex, let's go.' Great was their surprise when the police turned up at Dexter's flat a short while after, just as they were counting out the takings on the floor.

[poshglasgow]

A regular customer of mine when I used to drive a minicab was an elderly small-time criminal with the unusual name of Dexter, who had spent more of his adult life inside than out. He knew the Krays in the sixties and admitted that it was no fun getting on the wrong side of them. He owed them a bit of money once and next time he saw them Reggie asked him all innocently, 'Seen Jack lately, have you, Dex?' About a week earlier the twins had lured Jack 'The Hat' McVitie into a basement and knifed him to death. Duly put on notice, Dex promised to pay what he owed asap. He told me he spent the next few nights getting up from bed every few minutes to make sure all was clear outside.

Dexter was not the sharpest tool in the box and nor, it seemed, were some of his accomplices. I heard a funny story in the cab office. Wearing masks, he and an associate held up a petrol station one night, one emptying the till while the other pointed a gun at the terrified cashier. When they were done, the accomplice said, 'Okay, Dex, let's go.' Great was their surprise when the police turned up at Dexter's flat a short while after, just as they were counting out the takings on the floor.

Great story, Snotface.

Two things come to mind when reading it.

I can recall that the Today programme (BBC Radio 4) in or around 1980/1981 made mention of a detective at New Scotland Yard whose name was a real hoot among colleagues and cons (and production team were adamant that this was true). His name? Detective Inspector Robin Banks!!

Another thing came to mind when reading your post (nothing to do with Dad's Army's "Don't tell him, Pike"!). I seem to recall somewhere that a hapless novice thief decided to augment his meagre income one day by robbing a bank and, as he always took his dog for its daily walk in the streets of south east London, he'd combine the two tasks (as one does).

He saddled up the dog (or whatever you do to a dog before walkies)) and led it off towards the target bank. He tied the dog up to a lampost outside the bank, shoved a balaclava on his head (not the dog's), concealed the spud gun (a toy) under a tea towel and entered the bank. He passed the cashier a fairly explicit message scribbled on a piece of paper and she handed him a wad of cash. She also activate the alarm with the effect that the amateur thief took off like a whippet with its arse on fire and headed for home.

The police arrived at the bank and, in the course of their initial assessment of the crime scene (enter the SOCO), found the lonely dog still attached to the lampost. The dog had a collar around its neck with a large silver disc offering the police the full address and telephone number of its owner.... the bank robber. He received a visit from the old bill within the hour. "Get your clothes on, your nicked!!"