For all those members tempted to go native - a timely reminder from a Thai

[frequent]

Stop making a fool of yourself - http://www.khaosodenglish.com/featured/2018/01/31/farangs-go-native/ - and just remember our milieu in Thailand is that of the prostitute

[arsenal]

It's absolutely simple. If you're a foreigner. Don't wai.

[Oliver]

Absolutely. My introduction to Thai culture (and gay travel in Thailand) was Michael Notcutt's helpful little book; not to wai but instead to smile was one of his most basic rules. This was in 1995. And he's still right.

[a447]

Very uncomfortable seeing an old farang wai-ing a gogo boy.

[frequent]

It's absolutely simple. If you're a foreigner. Don't wai.In particular don't wai another foreigner

[colmx]

It's absolutely simple. If you're a foreigner. Don't wai.

Not so sure about that. I think it depends on whether you know the person or not. My BF would chastise me very strongly for not returning a wai... Especially to someone that I know.

[colmx]

In particular don't wai another foreigner
Agree on this point!

[gerefan2]

In particular don't wai another foreigner

Not even a moderator?

[Marsilius]

It looks absolutely ludicrous, in particular, when a foreigner enters a go-go bar and wais to the boys on stage.

I always tell new arrivals to think of a wai as equivalent to "good evening [or whatever], sir", i.e. you ought only to wai to someone you regard as a social superior. Of course, if you're an egalitarian who regards nobody at all as your superior, you presumably would never wai at all.

A quick bow of the head in acknowledgement (but not subservience) does well on virtually every occasion, I think.

[Davey612]

Great article that can be applied to whichever country one visits. I try to learn some phrases and some historical facts but never try to imitate the manners of my hosts. It comes off as artificial. They know it, you know it.

[Jellybean]

It's absolutely simple. If you're a foreigner. Don't wai.


Not so sure about that. I think it depends on whether you know the person or not. My BF would chastise me very strongly for not returning a wai... Especially to someone that I know.



Quote Originally Posted by frequent View Post
In particular don't wai another foreigner

Agree on this point!

Sorry arsenal, but on this occasion, I disagree with part of your post. And I agree with the comments made by colmx at posts #6 & #7.

When I first moved to Hua Hin, I got to know a crowd of fa-ràng expats and was introduced to a few hi-so Thais. I was told that when meeting the Hi-so Thais I should initiate the wâai on each occasion I met them for the first time.

I was also told that I should not initiate or return a wâai to restaurant waiting staff, hotel staff or shop workers. A simple nod of the head or a smile would be sufficient. I think it goes without saying that westerners should not wâai prostitutes or other westerners.

There was however one exception, and that was a very grand fa-ràng lady in Hua Hin who had indeed ‘gone native’. I was told that I should also initiate the wâai when greeting her. On the few odd occasions that I forgot to wâai her, crikey! I received the most icy cold stare and received curt ‘yes’ and ‘no’ answers for the rest of the evening, i.e. if she even deigned to talk to me at all. Cripes! Such severe punishment for what should have been a trivial thing of no consequence to her.

And on the first occasion I went up to Chaiyaphum to meet my first Thai boyfriend’s mother, father and other family members, I was told by my boyfriend and his Thai friend that I should initiate the wâai when greeting his mother, father, aunts and uncles. Oh, and any of the great and the good of the village who came to gawk at me (well, they didn’t exactly say ‘gawk’, I made that part up :))).

In short, I would contend that there are indeed times when fa-ràng should greet Thais with a wâai, but unless you know of any grand fa-ràng ladies who have gone native, then I recommend you don’t wâai other westerners. But whether you think it is suitable to greet fellow westerners with a high-five, a clashing of knuckles, or a kiss on both cheeks, well, that is entirely up to you.

[francois]

But whether you think it is suitable to greet fellow westerners with a high-five, a clashing of knuckles, or a kiss on both cheeks, well, that is entirely up to you.

Now your talking, Jellybean.

[BonTong]

It's absolutely simple. If you're a foreigner. Don't wai.

If you are living in the big city, or tourist places where Thais are used to farangs this is a safe bet. But, in more "native" environments where people aren't used to foreigners you have to go with the flow somewhat.

I spend a lot of time exclusively with Thai's in small town Thailand and a different approach is required. I would only initiate a wai in a very few circumstances where it was clearly appropriate, e.g. when the captain from the local BIB drops in for a free drink ;) or other appropriate encounters with officialdom/senior business people. However, there are more circumstances in native land when returning a wai is appropriate to save embarrassment for the initiator (obviously this doesn't include. waiters, shop assistants, children etc etc). A brief acknowledgement wai with hands held lower than the chin and no bow is often an appropriate response for a foreigner.

It's not so much about going "native" as fitting in with other people's expectations and not appearing ignorant or arrogant.

Foreigners can also use Wai's to their advantage. e.g. the sarcastic Wai, given to pushy/greedy mamasans in lieu of a tip LOL

Of course, the opposite sometimes happens and the Thai goes western on you offering a hand shake. But the uninformed sometimes proffer the left hand - be prepared for that one.

[werner]

Interesting discussion about body languages in different cultures and the use of the "wai" in Thailand.

I am Swiss, but have lived most of my life away from Switzerland, and most away from Europe.

When I am around Europeans and particularly around Swiss people, I sometimes feel that my body language is not quite right. Moreover, I often think in English rather than in my native French or fluent German.

Perhaps at almost 70, I am just experiencing the early signs of dementia?

My old body, though seems to be in quite good shape....

[frequent]

Perhaps at almost 70, I am just experiencing the early signs of dementia?If you're that self-aware, it's not dementia

But the uninformed sometimes proffer the left hand - be prepared for that one."Uninformed"? Given the ubiquity of Boy Scouts in Thailand, perhaps not

But whether you think it is suitable to greet fellow westerners with a high-five, a clashing of knuckles, or a kiss on both cheeks, well, that is entirely up to you.If one Australian greets another I understand the customary behaviour is to say "G'day you old bastard"

[frequent]

I agree about rural Thailand. If some adult wai me in a village I always respond likewise - and a teenager too if he's cute enough