Facebooked a Cambodian guy

[extronaut]

Maybe I shouldn't have done. He messages me about 15 times a day. Always wants to video chat.

Usually I pay boys to go away, after I've used them as a Kleenex. But I slept with this guy five nights in a row when I was in Cambodia. He was just too good. The sex was fantastic. He":s a pro masseur, and always gave me great massages any time I asked. Would bring street food to my hotel, and share his spoon with me.

He claims he loves me, but I don't understand how he can. He doesn't know anything about me. He doesn't even know my name. We didn't verbally communicate that much, because the only English he seems to know is "I laaav you!" and "darliiiing!!!"

One morning we were using Google translate on my phone, and he noticed the Facebook app on there. He asked me to add him, and I didn't have the heart to refuse, because he'd just been so nice to me.

I figured: what's the worst that can happen? He'll probably hit me up for money at some point, I'll refuse, then he'll probably lose interest. And then I'll quietly delete him from my friend llist.

Except he hasn't hit me up for money. He just wants to chat. All the time. And all he wants to say is "I laaav you!", " I miss you!" and "when you kum baaak?" I've explained that it'll be at least a year before I return, but that doesn't stop him.

What have I got myself into?

[bobsaigon2]

What have you got yourself into? Nothing that you cannot easily get yourself out of.

"He's a pro masseur". So you are probably not the first customer he's slept with, and he's probably said the same things to the others: "I laaav you!", " I miss you!" and "when you kum baaak?"

Do you really think he would be terribly crushed if you blocked him on Facebook? That's hardly likely since you and he were never able to communicate.

This does not appear to be your first encounter with SE Asian bed partners, so your quandary is surprising.

[goji]

What have I got myself into?

The Cambodian guy is easy to deal with. Just make sure you only log into that Facebook thing about once a week and he will soon get bored. Better still, once a month.

Or you could tell him to sod off, but I don't think it's really necessary to be that rude.

So he's easy to deal with. Now if you ever want to get rid of Facebook, that's more difficult.

[Nirish guy]

....... he's probably said the same things to the others: "I laaav you!", " I miss you!" and "when you kum baaak?" .

I hope Bob that you're not suggesting that guys from Asia are being economical with the truth when they tell us how they feel about us and how they love us so much - please say it ain't so ! :)

[bobsaigon2]

I hope Bob that you're not suggesting that guys from Asia are being economical with the truth when they tell us how they feel about us and how they love us so much - please say it ain't so ! :)

Certainly not so in your case, Nirish. Even without ever having observed your esteemed visage, I assure you of the sincerity of all the boys' proclamations of love.

Odd coincidence, however, that all of the boys I've met have said the same things to me. Maybe there's some sort of pre-departure training before they leave Issan for the first time?

I once asked a mamasan I've known for a long time if the new boys in the bar received any kind of instruction. The notion appeared strange to him. He assumed that by the time they reached Bangkok they had already acquired the skills they needed to entertain customers.

[Nirish guy]

Odd coincidence, however, that all of the boys I've met have said the same things to me.

You ARE of course missing the one very obvious possibility here, that being that we ARE both just obviously Adonis's who melt boys hearts with a mere look from our handsome eyes as we flash our toned bodies and ripple our muscled abs.......yeah.......or I GUESS your trained in advance theory might just be right after all - I guess we'll just never know eh ! :)

[cdnmatt]

Pee on him in the shower. That should get rid of him. :)

[bobsaigon2]

we ARE both just obviously Adonis's who melt boys hearts with a mere look from our handsome eyes as we flash our toned bodies and ripple our muscled abs....... :)

That is certainly the only logical conclusion, which I will carry with me throughout the day, if I can avoid looking in a mirror.

[Nirish guy]

That is certainly the only logical conclusion, which I will carry with me throughout the day, if I can avoid looking in a mirror.

As I'm currently packing to go on holiday and lifting shirts that I haven't worn since before Christmas and standing here wondering who the hell has snuck into my house and OBVIOUSLY changed all the labels to one being at least one size ( if not two) too small for me now I fear I'll have to concur with you on that one ! :-(

[a447]

As the veterans in the bar generally educate the newbies, it's not unusual that you hear the same excuses over and over again. They have a bank of them they can call on when they want to make a quick escape.

The newbie at Golden Cock is in the early stages of training and so perhaps hasn't had time to learn them, which is why he came up with a new one - "I have to collect my clothes out of the dryer."

It's the same when they want to praise us. We are all "handsome" and we all possess "big cock." That's it.

If only it were true!

[extronaut]

UPDATE: Been back in Australia 3 months now. He still messages me almost every day.

Remember how my theory was that he would hit on me for money at some point? And the plan was that I'd refuse, and he'd probably lose interest. Well he hasn't done so yet. Just blows me kisses, tells me he misses me, and asks "when you come baaack?"

[goji]

Maybe he's just genuinely wanting you to off him again on the next trip.

Some periodically contact me on Line during the year, more or less keeping in touch so I have them in mind for the next trip. Perhaps I might hear from them every 1~2 months.

However, to do that almost every day, as your lad is doing is a very inefficient use of time.
Maybe I should not be surprised, as bar boys do seem to have a lot of free time & not many of them seem to use it for anything constructive like educating themselves.

[christianpfc]

Some people work that way (sending messages frequently, even though the next chance to meet is months ahead).

I have one boy in Nakon Sawan. We had contact on hornet a few weeks before I left to Germany, and he kept writing to me for two months, and when I was back in Thailand in Nov 2017 I went to see him to see if it is worth continuing. And it's a contact worth keeping (but it took until Feb 2018 that I went to see him again), however the boy seems to have too much time on his hands, I leave messages unread/unanswered for up to a week. And when I answer, it doesn't take long until he replies.

It's always the same: how are you, have you eaten yet, miss you, love you, when can we meet again. A waste of time, I would keep silent until shortly before going to see him again in June. And no hint for money! The motivation lies elsewhere.

[Smiles]

" ... shirts that I haven't worn since before Christmas and standing here wondering who the hell has snuck into my house and OBVIOUSLY changed all the labels to one being at least one size ( if not two) too small ... "
You are NOT alone. :(
When I moved to Thailand 10 years ago I brought with me numerous pairs of pants, most of which I carried over the oceon because I like them very much. They were comfortable, soft, and ~ at the time ~ fit my svelte frame like they were haut couture in spades.
All of them (i.e. about a half dozen) now sit in un-used forlornity wedged into the very top shelf of my closet. Once a year I take a few down and try 'em on "just in case", but it never works. It's hopeless.
I keep them though ... just in case as I approach 80 I've heard that really old farts tend to get seriousy dehydrated and shrivable up like prunes: thus allowing me to begin wearing them again.

[bobsaigon2]

Smiles, on behalf of all the really old farts, I would like to announce to you that while we may tend to get seriously dehydrated and shrivel up like prunes, the waistline tends to remain the same. Yes, although skin elsewhere on the body may look like it's one or two sizes too large, those trousers with waistlines of yore sitting in our cabinets are never going to fit again. Plus jamais as the French might say.

There's a word in one of the Scandinavian languages, perhaps Danish, that is used to describe the process of getting rid of items now so that our heirs will not have to bother doing so in future. I guess that's a bit morbid, so just fall back on the usual advice: if you haven't worn it in a year (for whatever reason), it's time to discard it. Besides, taking the trousers out once a year in the hope that they will fit can be very energy-consuming. I speak from experience.

[extronaut]

Ok it happened. He finally hit me up for money.

He contacted me about a month ago, seemingly in a panic because his "phone no good", and he wanted $216 usd. Ever since I succumbed to letting him have my Facebook back in December, I knew this would happen eventually. I'd basically allocated him about $100 for him as a going away present. So I offered to pay for half of it, figuring he could probably hit up some other barang for the rest.

I'm in no way angry with the poor wretched bastard. But still, I felt disappointed, perhaps because I'd kind of vaguely hoped I could buy him a term of English lessons with it (if I could persuade him to take them). That seems much more meaningful than just buying him a new toy. Though to be fair, a smartphone would be an extremely valuable and important tool if you're a money boy, which would explain to why he seemed to be in a panic.

Knowing his smartphone was a Samsung, and that those things are pretty robust, I suggested, via Google Translate that it could be fixed. Next thing I know, he stopped asking me for the money, and returned to just messaging me emoji hugs and kisses. Go figure.

Two weeks later, he hit me up for money again. This time, the gist seemed to be that he'd somehow got a plot of land somewhere (plausible, I know he grew up on a farm). He needed money for fertilizer, and wanted me to "invest" $300 over three months. He swore he'd pay me back, plus interest. Again, because I can't afford to adopt any Cambodians, I offered to give him $100 as a one off. No need to repay it. He began said OK.

After that, my plan was to put his Messenger profile permanently on mute, and never look at it again.

I kept asking him, both in English and via Google Translate, how do I send the send the money? He just kept replying "ACLEDA Bank Plc", occasionally adding his phone number.

I know from Google that ACLEDA is a Cambodian bank. But that doesn't tell me how to send the money. I told him he needs an account number. I can't just wire money to a bank without specifying who it's for, can I? This is very difficult to get across via the very shaky Google translations, so I have no idea if he understood. But he just relief "Yes. :) Yes."

Go figure.

That was about a week ago, haven't heard from him since. Could it be that the process of getting a bank account was too complicated for him, so he just gave up on getting money out of me? Or maybe something has been lost in translation? I might never know.

I have thought about asking him, but I think it could be dangerous to give him the impression that I actually want to give him money - possibly because part of me does. There's a school in Siem Reap that provides flexible, part time, beginner English lessons for air $100 per term. Maybe, if it is the case that he just can't get it together enough to open a bank account, I could persuade him to take English lessons.