What is their problem?

[joe552]

A little rant. Why can't they give a direct answer? My oldest friend from Sri Racha - I ask are you definitely coming to Pattaya for my birthday? Will you come with me to Khon Kaen?

My newer friend, from Laos but living in Pattaya a few years - when do you want to go out for dinner? (I know he doesn't like going to Sunee). What would you like to drink when you come to my room?

All these are simple questions, in my head. Is it any wonder I sometimes just want to go and have a few glasses of wine on my own?

Rant over.

When I go for a few drinks "on my own" I will usually have a waiter sit with me, and buy his drinks. But it's uncomplicated.

[bobsaigon2]

Maybe, just maybe, some Asians are reluctant to state what they want as they feel it's not their place to do so, or they think it might be seen as too demanding when in conversation with an older person. They want to give the answer that they think will satisfy you, but they're not sure what that might be.

Or, they think the matter in question is not significant so they either don't answer to leave it "up to you".

Just guessing. We've no way of getting into the minds of either of those two guys.

[Tintin]

All these are simple questions, in my head. Is it any wonder I sometimes just want to go and have a few glasses of wine on my own?


You think too much! Learn to go with the flow...

[sglad]

You think too much! Learn to go with the flow...

He does flow...with the alcohol.

[sglad]

Maybe, just maybe, some Asians are reluctant to state what they want as they feel it's not their place to do so, or they think it might be seen as too demanding when in conversation with an older person. They want to give the answer that they think will satisfy you, but they're not sure what that might be.


...or maybe, they're just not interested and you lack the social skills to see it. Maybe you do see it and refuse to accept it because you think they're Thai and all Thais are in love with farang. If you ask someone out for coffee, and the person makes excuses not to go every time you asked, you'd get the drift after two or three times, wouldn't you? They don't really have to spell it out, do they? Same same in all cultures. Remember, these guys are not for hire and are not obliged to meet you.

[frequent]

You think too much! Learn to go with the flow...I was reading the other day that our Western snowflakes now respond positively to an RSVP on Facebook for fear of offending the organiser, or as a way of endorsing the activity, while they have no intention of going to the event. It's the same in Asia - fear of making someone else lose face. It's another reason why Facebook (and this Forum) doesn't have a "Dislike" button, just a "Like" one. Sadly the world is becoming way too bland

[cdnmatt]

Exactly. Just learn to go with the flow, and take things as they come.

Don't try to pre-plan every last detail, because then you'll just look like an anal Westerner.

Go with the flow. It's honestly good for your soul...

[joe552]

sglad I found your posts unnecessarily insulting. I don't know if both were directed at me, or you included bobsaigon. Either way, I think you went too far.

[Oliver]

And I'm fed-up with the word "snowflake" as used by Trump supporters and other racist bigots, to describe those who-unlike Trump supporters and racist bigots- attempt to live their lives with a modicum of respect for others.
As far as Joe's problem is concerned, Bob's advice is spot-on.

[frequent]

And I'm fed-up with the word "snowflake" as used by Trump supporters and other racist bigots, to describe those who-unlike Trump supporters and racist bigots- attempt to live their lives with a modicum of respect for others.It's used more generally to describe "millennials (https://fellowshipoftheminds.com/2016/07/14/millennials-generation-snowflake/)" so it's probably not a good idea to parade your ignorance thus

sglad I found your posts unnecessarily insulting. I don't know if both were directed at me, or you included bobsaigon. Either way, I think you went too far.I didn't realise it was possible to go "too far" when insulting bobsaigon

[joe552]

I'll leave bob to answer that one. Don't know what you have against him. I think he's a nice guy, and we PM regularly.

[bobsaigon2]

frequent, I am sure that others join me in expressing sympathy for your condition. Perhaps an enema would relieve the blockage. Must be quite uncomfortable since it appears to be chronic.

[frequent]

frequent, I am sure that others join me in expressing sympathy for your condition. Perhaps an enema would relieve the blockage. Must be quite uncomfortable since it appears to be chronic.Thankfully I can live with mine without pursing my lips, unlike you

[kittyboy]

It's used more generally to describe "millennials (https://fellowshipoftheminds.com/2016/07/14/millennials-generation-snowflake/)" so it's probably not a good idea to parade your ignorance thus
I didn't realise it was possible to go "too far" when insulting bobsaigon

Snowflake in common usage is a general insult used by people who have sub standard language skills and can not adequately describe their sense if impotence in the world.

[sglad]

sglad I found your posts unnecessarily insulting. I don't know if both were directed at me, or you included bobsaigon. Either way, I think you went too far.

Both were directed at you and no, they weren't meant to insult. Somebody just had to tell as it is. Besides, by now you should be too numb to feel any kind of perceived insult.

[sglad]

Snowflake in common usage is a general insult used by people who have sub standard language skills and can not adequately describe their sense if impotence in the world.

:D How can you describe your "impotence" when you can't even feel it?

[joe552]

Both were directed at you and no, they weren't meant to insult. Somebody just had to tell as it is. Besides, by now you should be too numb to feel any kind of perceived insult.

Is that a reference to my drinking? If your remarks weren't meant to insult, I'd hate to be on the receiving end of an real insult.

[frequent]

... can not adequately describe their sense if impotence in the world.If only I understood what that means

[kittyboy]

If only I understood what that means

I can recommend a tutor to help you.

[kittyboy]

:D How can you describe your "impotence" when you can't even feel it?
Ah.. I was describing others. But I suppose it could apply to me

But I do not use the term snowflake..hmmmm so maybe not.

[frequent]

I can recommend a tutor to help you.I doubt a tutor could correct what is an obvious error on your part - "their sense if impotence" I take to be "their sense of importance". Although ... since they're young perhaps it is impotence

[kittyboy]

I doubt a tutor could correct what is an obvious error on your part - "their sense if impotence" I take to be "their sense of importance". Although ... since they're young perhaps it is impotence

I suspect a tutor would greatly help you understand my comment. It has no error.

[frequent]

I suspect a tutor would greatly help you understand my comment. It has no error.If it needs a tutor you shouldn't be posting in a public forum. "of impotence" might make sense; "if impotence" makes no sense at all

[kittyboy]

If it needs a tutor you shouldn't be posting in a public forum. "of impotence" might make sense; "if impotence" makes no sense at all

I did not realize you were the arbiter of what should or should not be listed on a public forum. Your comment does show a high level of self importance.
I can send you the phone number to the tutoring lab at my local university. They can help you with your comprehension difficulty.

[frequent]

I did not realize you were the arbiter of what should or should not be listed on a public forum. Your comment does show a high level of self importance.
I can send you the phone number to the tutoring lab at my local university. They can help you with your comprehension difficulty.Wouldn't it easier to add the following as a footnote to all your posts - "I am dyslexic so you are advised to read my posts AYOR"?

[Rolling Stone]

Or, they think the matter in question is not significant so they either don't answer to leave it "up to you".



Precisely, sometimes I do not answer these insignificant questions. A lot of times when I go out with (normal) friends or colleagues, I leave to them to order what to eat (as long as some drinks are ordered as well). I always say I eat everything. Why not leave the decisions to the moment so to speak.

[joe552]

Just an update, I've unfriended the Laos guy. He's become increasingly aggressive in his messages recently. I don't know why he can't answer a simple question - when do you want to meet for dinner? So now there's only the original love of my life to disappoint me..

Matt, when I get to Pattaya I will look at bus times, and length of travel. I might consider an overnight bus. I'll let you know.

[kittyboy]

Wouldn't it easier to add the following as a footnote to all your posts - "I am dyslexic so you are advised to read my posts AYOR"?

I can still send you the phone number to the tutoring office at my university. People with comprehension problems can benefit from one on one help.

[christianpfc]

A little rant. Why can't they give a direct answer? My oldest friend from Sri Racha - I ask are you definitely coming to Pattaya for my birthday? Will you come with me to Khon Kaen?

My newer friend, from Laos but living in Pattaya a few years - when do you want to go out for dinner? (I know he doesn't like going to Sunee). What would you like to drink when you come to my room?

All these are simple questions, in my head. Is it any wonder I sometimes just want to go and have a few glasses of wine on my own?

Rant over.

When I go for a few drinks "on my own" I will usually have a waiter sit with me, and buy his drinks. But it's uncomplicated.

Most Thais can only thinks as far as where their next meal comes from.

Asking about events one week ahead is the equivalent of planning your 2021 birthday party now and sending out invitations and asking for confirmation of attendance.

"Are you definitely coming..." the word "definitely" does not exist in Thai language, but there are dozens of variations of "maybe" (I made this up).

As I said before:
arranging to meet someone I already know again can be as difficult as meeting someone new.
One of the reasons for my promiscuity.