Straight Talking

[snotface]

Back in the days when it was still possible to off a boy from a Bangkok bar without taking out a second mortgage on your home, I met a delightful young man in Classic Boys. The bar was much the same then – the year was 2001 – as it is now. Twink-type boys, overloud music, even one of the same pushy, obnoxious mamasans. The young man in question captured my attention immediately with his slim, slinky good looks as he paraded on stage. We made eye contact and I got an encouraging smile. I called him over and found him pleasant to talk to and, close up, sexy as hell. An easy decision to off him – the only difficulty was refraining from drooling. He had to return to the stage for a while because he was in the show, his role being to beat the apparent shit out of another boy with a length of hose. Such resounding, convincing thwacks!

Back at my hotel we had good commercial sex. He did an excellent job of feigning interest in me and I gave my lust a thorough outing. He was a bit reluctant to be fucked but I charmed him into it. Afterwards he admitted what I already suspected, that he preferred women. Bit of a downer but not a game-breaker. I had already had one relationship (sort of) with a straight Thai guy and, in England over the years, several such. I was an experienced settler for what I could get, with low expectations. We chatted for a while – my broken Thai, his broken English – and I found myself warming to him more and more. A bright, friendly fellow. I teased him about his apparent enjoyment of beating the other guy on stage, told him he must be a sadist. 'Just show,' he said with a frown. Reminder to self: don't overdo the teasing of Thai boys.

I knew I wanted to spend more time with this young man and he raised no objections. We had a few days in Pattaya and then I took him to Kanchanaburi where we stayed in a cabin atop a raft on the river. Trees along the raised bank, gently lapping waters. Such a romantic setting for a paid carnal interlude. In leafing through photos from that time, I see that in one he is standing on the famous River Kwai bridge, wearing dark glasses, smiling, jazzily making V-signs with both hands. In another he is leaning bare-chested over the rail of our cabin giving me a somewhat thoughtful look. I feel a faint tremor of remembered lust at the sight of that oh-so-kissable mouth. I see hints of reserve in several of the photos. Was I aware of it at the time? Sure, and of his increasing reluctance when it came to the bone-rubbing event, but I chose to ignore all that. Against all reason I could feel myself becoming more and more attached to him.

Fortunately for me, my holiday came to an end before total infatuation had set in. I didn't communicate with him back in England and it was with curiosity more than anything else that I returned to his Bangkok bar on my next trip a year later. I was told that he had married and gone to live in Chiang Mai. A telephone number was provided after a bit of hunting around.

I was planning on going to Chiang Mai anyway and phoned from my hotel when I got there. The answering voice sounded abrupt, unfamiliar, and I wondered at first if this was some kind of hoax, but an arrangement to meet was made and, sure enough, my sexy young friend duly turned up at the agreed restaurant by the old-city moat. A bit fuller in the face, no doubt the result of all that home cooking by an adoring wife (yes, there were pangs of jealousy but nothing I couldn't handle).

We ate at an outside table shaded by trees and had a rather stilted conversation. The wife wasn't discussed in any detail. I can't remember what work he said he was doing – not bar work anyway! He grew wistful at one point and mentioned a dream of his I had heard before about opening his own restaurant. The hopeful look in his eyes amused me. I had never had the inclination or means to help him with this project and certainly not now. I realised, with relief, that my interest in him had faded and I didn't even bother to suggest we return to my hotel together. I was getting strong vibes that he wouldn't have agreed to do so anyway.

So we parted amicably and life moved on for both of us. This was the last occasion on which I allowed myself to become involved with a guy who was basically straight. Ever since one of the first questions I have asked any new young man is if he is gay. If he says he is not, or my own gaydar tells me he is not, I abort proceedings. Life is too short for us to make our course through it more complicated than it needs to be.

[frequent]

I work on the basis of "Don't ask, don't tell". The binary construct of straight/gay is entirely artificial. As we know from Kinsey, sexuality is a continuum from exclusively heterosexually-attracted to exclusively homosexually-attracted, and everything in between. I've met plenty of guys - Western and Asian - with wedding rings who were happy cock-suckers

The question "are you gay" in Thailand has often meant "are you a bottom?" to the hearer, since they don't recognise the binary view of sexuality that the speaker is imposing. My current regular masseur/fuck buddy plays both ways but prefers guys. I like the Foucauldian framework (Foucault believed that sexual identity is a straitjacket imposed most forcefully by Western institutions, and one from which we should all be immediately freed). Gay or straight is basically a Western liberal construct, of little relevance to most of the world

[arsenal]

While I don't disagree with Frequent I have an almost foolproof way to know for sure the boys true sexuality.

[snotface]

Gay or straight is basically a Western liberal construct, of little relevance to most of the world

Try telling that to a middle-class Thai gay who has to conceal his sexual identity from parents and employers for fear of the repercussions. On your 'don't ask, don't tell ' point, it makes sense if you are versatile in your sexual preferences and don't expect to become emotionally involved with your partners. In my case I am a top and want only bottoms as partners. The only exception to that is if a boy is drop-dead gorgeous in which case I am just delighted to share his gorgeousness for a few minutes, even if only touching and sucking is involved. In addition I know that I am susceptible to emotional entanglement and feel more comfortable knowing that my partner is also gay. I don't want to be walking down the street with him when a pretty girl comes along and see him ogling her; it would create a sense of apartness in me. Of course having a gay partner is no guarantee of success as I know very well, but I feel more of a sense of common interests there. This is a subjective area. I know there are people on this board who prefer straight partners. It seems odd to me but if it works for them good luck to them.

[colmx]

While I don't disagree with Frequent I have an almost foolproof way to know for sure the boys true sexuality.
My tactic used to be to ask them what sports they like
Straight boys invariably like football and snooker
Gay boys invariably like volleyball and badminton

Its not 100% foolproof... but damn near is!

[latintopxxx]

snotface love your post and appreciate you sharing your inner feelings to the whole world . I always find it interesting how we are all wired so differently, you seem to look for more than the mere physical pleasure that there is to be enjoyed with a MB, you clearly enjoy and value the emotional attachment. Again this is something I have difficulty understanding as reason should tell you that a MB being " enjoyed" by many on a daily basis cannot reciprocate.
I actually prefer straight MBs, I get a high out of the fact that its all about the money. I enjoy role playing with them. And when im done with them they are almost instantly forgotten. Just another firm fleshed bottom enjoyed by me, nothing more.

[latintopxxx]

//oh and haters like arsetroll and scotty...Ive done my best to use positive language like enjoyed instead of used, and in order to not offend you have have not gone into detail about the role play I enjoy. Have simply focussed on the emotional aspect.

[frequent]

In addition I know that I am susceptible to emotional entanglement and feel more comfortable knowing that my partner is also gayMore fool you

[latintopxxx]

frequent do u have to be so brutal?/ we are all thinking it but could u not be a little more gentle and break it to him in a kinder way?? Remind him that the MB is in it for the cash. That MB gets fucked by multiple guys on a weekly basis and that this makes it difficult for Mb to reciprocate where emotional attachment/love is concerned.

[arsenal]

We are all grateful for your conversion from ferel dog to semi-human Poxxy.

[a447]

My experience over the years tells me that it would be very difficult indeed for a straight MB to have a strong emotional attachment (read:love) with someone who is much older, gay and a customer paying you to do something you would avoid if you could.

That's a very big ask.

As I have a very strong preference for masculine guys, most of my offs are straight. (Either that, or they are accomplished actors). I've had some wonderful times with these regular guys of mjne, both in and out of bed. They are kind, friendly, funny, easy-going types who invariably speak enough English to allow conversation to occur. And they never ask for extra money, tips, gifts, etc.

But I'm a realist. I know that they are not able to transition from being friendly towards me to forging any emotional bond with me.

Sex is the most powerful means of expressing love, so my straight guys will always be thinking about the opposite sex when we are in bed having sex.

I'm the last person they are thinking about.

But that doesn't mean I can't thoroughly enjoy the "boyfriend experience".

[scottish-guy]

..Sex is the most powerful means of expressing love..

Not sure I agree with that

:unknw_mini:

[a447]

There are, of course, many varied ways of expressing our feelings of love for someone.

For me, it is definitely through having sex. Nothing else comes close.

[arsenal]

I agree with you a447. If your partner is is not giving you everything in the bedroom then there's a problem elsewhere. IMHO.

[snotface]

More fool you

You mean to say there is any other kind of human being? 'If I am anything to go by, man is a foolish animal.' (Nicolas-Sebastien Roch de Chamfort, 1741-94).

[snotface]

I actually prefer straight MBs, I get a high out of the fact that its all about the money. I enjoy role playing with them...

My understanding of sexual 'role playing' is that it is mutual. Do you mean to say that you brief the money boys beforehand that you intend to inflict pain and humiliation on them and that they agree to take the victim role? Of course you don't because you would get hardly any takers if you did. I perfectly see why you prefer straight guys, because that raises the humiliation factor even higher. You're in no position to make patronising comments about other people's conduct, believe me.

[frequent]

We are all grateful for your conversion from ferel dog to semi-human Poxxy."feral" dog would be even better

[arsenal]

Apposite.

[latintopxxx]

snotty...what a confused being u r. I feel sorry for u...and I'll pray for u.

[Oliver]

Thais make a clear distinction between love and sex and are right to do so.

[scottish-guy]

This is nonsense - my late father and mother slept apart for 40yrs (understandable - look what resulted when they slept together :D ) - but they absolutely loved each other in their own way.

Further, you're all looking at it from a male point of view - it's a generalisation of course but one that holds fairly true that women do not see sex as the be all and end all of a relationship in the way that most men do.

Lastly, the vast majority here are looking at it from the point of view of males who are willing to travel thousands of miles to pay for NSA sex with (as Frequent would say, "sex partners young enough to be their grandchildren"). I'm not criticising that as a lifestyle choice (I've done more than my share) but I would suggest you're hardly representative of mainstream opinion and it's not the ideal standpoint from which to comment on what makes a loving relationship.

[latintopxxx]

if u r in love with someone and can have great sex with that same person then yeah I gotta agree that its the best...but as a promiscuous man who has been with the same partner for over a decade Im afraid that while the love and affection is there the sexual attraction has weakened...age is cruel..
I have never confused lust/sex with love...but do recognise that when combined they make for a great time.

[latintopxxx]

...and snotface...u most definitely are setting yourself up for ongoing major disappointment if u persist in looking for love with MB..straight or gay...but then maybe thats your kink...maybe u enjoy the rejection..playing the hurt victim..as in mental self harm...

[frequent]

Sex is for fun and that's all it's for. In a persistent relationship its role is for bonding. You've seen television programmes of monkeys grooming each other? That's the role sex plays in marriage, but a casual relationship? No
... (as Frequent would say, "sex partners young enough to be their grandchildren").Don't misquote me scotty - they're prostitutes aka. hookers, hustlers, money boys

[latintopxxx]

frequent...dont be nasty...let some posters believe that the grand kids they rent are actually interested in them...like as if they are really partners...implying a level playing field...as if some nubile bubble butted Thai Mb actually wants to be with a wrinkled old farang..aka scotty.
..in my not so humble opinion..Im one of the few honest and realistic whoremongers...I have absolutely no illusions...if it wasnt for the cash most (all??) of my grindr "dates' would not even consider putting up with me...

[a447]

...... my late father and mother slept apart for 40yrs....) but they absolutely loved each other in their own way.

I'm sure they did. But, of course, sex is not the only way of expressing love.

As couples get older and the sex drive wanes, love can be expressed in the form of a simple kiss, hug, cuddle, or even a certain look.

The act of caring for each other or just being there for each other, is another very powerful expression of love.

I have a close female friend who I love deeply. Naturally, we do not have sex but in the past I've often wondered what it would be like. I think it would be amazing. We express our feelings in other ways.

[joe552]

I've no experience of long term relationships, but parents were married for 56 years, For the last 10 years or so, they slept in separate bedrooms But were just as much in love.

[snotface]

Latin, one of my little rules in life is never to take advice from dim-witted psychopaths, so spare yourself the effort. Come to think of it, the term 'agony aunt' would take on a whole new meaning in your case, wouldn't it.

For anyone interested, another of my little rules is never to talk politics with my barber while he is giving me a shave.

[frequent]

Latin, one of my little rules in life is never to take advice from dim-witted psychopaths ...Sound advice. Just to be on the safe side, could you provide us with the names of some psychopaths of your acquaintance who are not dim-witted, so we can focus on advice from them

[snotface]

Sound advice. Just to be on the safe side, could you provide us with the names of some psychopaths of your acquaintance who are not dim-witted, so we can focus on advice from them

Haha, I asked for that. Fortunately, I don't have anything to do with the financial markets, so that eliminates quite a few of the clever ones.

[gerefan2]

Haha, I asked for that. Fortunately, I don't have anything to do with the financial markets, so that eliminates quite a few of the clever ones.

If they were that clever they would have made a fortune for themselves first and retired...