Bar Boy (or Boy Special) pet peeves?

[bao-bao]

Since I can't be in the LOS nearly as often as I would like to be I'm really enjoying the posts about tourist-native interactions on all levels - purchased, personal, short- and long-term. Having done a lot of reading here the past few days I find myself interested the most in what the Thai think and feel about these situations. What I'd appreciate hearing from (those who want to participate) is this: in your opinion, what are the things Thai like least about farangs, and what are the things they like best? What do you hear from the people you interact with there?

I know, I know... I may well be setting myself up here for a long string of "MONEY", "Cheap tippers", "Stinky" and maybe "MONEY" (again) posts... but seriously, give it some thought?

Thanks

[Surfcrest]

what are the things Thai like least about farangs?

Thai тАЬmoneyboysтАЭ are quick to put ideas in the air like тАЬbuy me gold necklace, help make passport, buy me shopтАЭ and if you donтАЩt put those ideas out right away you could be accused of promising and not doing or lying.

and what are the things they like best?

IтАЩm always fascinated to see Thai men pick up boys at bars and seeing them while they are out on dates. There is a definite difference between how farangтАЩs treat boys and how they are treated by Thais. Could we be accused of spending considerably more? I think so.
The only thing better than тАЬmoneyтАЭ is тАЬmore moneyтАЭ?

Surfcrest

The thing the university types dont like about us - the way we love to lay in the sun and get fried - they like to cover up and keep their skin white as possible. A dilemna if they want to keep you happy.

The thing the university types dont like about us - the way we love to lay in the sun and get fried - they like to cover up and keep their skin white as possible. A dilemna if they want to keep you happy.

That is just so accurate.

I had to spend two weeks away from Bangkok & b/f on business in Chiang Mai. Being a sun lover I took every chance to relax by the hotel pool. After two weeks of this I had a deeper tan than usual.

On returning home to b/f he took one look and with a look of horror announced 'Why you do this thing, I ashame you'.

He then refused to be seen out with me for the next week until I returned to 'normal'.

Otherwise the Thais that I work with have a few pet hates about Farangs:

1. Farangs smell - They appreciate that much of this is to do with the ferocity of the climate but cannot understand why Farangs do not shower more often to cope with the problem rather than relying on walking around having almost drowned themselves in strong smelling deoderants rather than shower more often and wear a subtle fragrance.

2. Farangs always talk louder when trying to make themselves understood

3. Farangs always insist on speaking to Thais in broken English which in fact makes it more difficult for a Thai to put a sentence into context.
3a. Farangs rarely make any attempt to learn even the most baic of Thai phrases expecting Thais to understand their own farang native language.

4. Farang visitors especially the Americans have no sense of smart casual dress.

5. Farangs take delight in trying to impress Thais by telling them how much money they have and how they have a much better life back home.

Anyone recognise themselves?

The biggest difference between myself and most Thais that I can think of is our attitude to time.

I'm never late for anything, I mean never ever. A friend in Pattaya, on a recent trip, arrived an hour late for a performance at Tiffany and was unconcerned that we'd missed the show. So we tried again the next day and he arrived an hour and a half early. It didn't occur to him that either pieces of behaviour was worthy of comment.

A few years ago it drove me mad but I just accept it now and have learned that Thai time and Farang time are rarely the same.

I went to a special Buddhist ceremony with a Thai friend on my last trip. It was at the house of some people I didn't know and my friend told me we must get there on time as local monks were coming.

I had no option but to follow him and after all sorts of diversions to collect other people etc we arrived an hour late with the ceremony well under way. As far as I could see nobody was bothered but I felt embarrassed arriving as the monks chanted and as I attempted to seat myself comfortably on the floor with my feet correctly positioned.

Mai ben rai...

(Apologies by-the-way for the use of "Kun" rather than more correct transliteration "Khun" in my user name. It was correct once but some confusion that ended with me having to re-join meant I had to use the current version and it would probably cause problems again if I tried to change back. Kun Jon and Khun Jon are both me though and there are posts from both of us in the archive)

Anyone recognise themselves?
No. And I don't appreciate the dig at Americans. Stop the American bashing on this board. Euros and Brits dress just as badly. Black socks with SANDALS????? How many Americans do you ever see doing that? This board is run by an American. If you hate Americans so much, start your own damn board.

"Anyone recognise themselves?"

Not all that stuff about sunbathing as I never do it and avoid the sun if possible. My boyfriend has an absolute horror of getting any darker. His skin is a wonderful golden colour but he complains "Me black".

I think it's rather ironic that if you go into Boots in Thailand you can see products on the same shelf fron the same manufacturer one of which is to make the skin darker (for the Farang) and another to make the skin whiter (for the Thais).

Dont start me off about Thai time lol


No more near near - not far - or just few minutes for me!

I just tell them i wont be there unless they phone with a good reason - i go out and tell them to come find me. I hate spending holiday time waiting for people.....if i lived there i guess it would be different.

The thing the university types dont like about us - the way we love to lay in the sun and get fried - they like to cover up and keep their skin white as possible. A dilemna if they want to keep you happy.

That is just so accurate.

I had to spend two weeks away from Bangkok & b/f on business in Chiang Mai. Being a sun lover I took every chance to relax by the hotel pool. After two weeks of this I had a deeper tan than usual.

On returning home to b/f he took one look and with a look of horror announced 'Why you do this thing, I ashame you'.

He then refused to be seen out with me for the next week until I returned to 'normal'.



First time i met my BF was at the airport - he was late - i stood outside smoking and eventually saw this gorgeous guy waving to me through the windows. he absolutely refused to come outside! same in Pattaya - beach once in 3 weeks and only in hotel pool after 6pm when the damn mozzies were out and biting!

Anyone recognise themselves?
No. And I don't appreciate the dig at Americans. Stop the American bashing on this board. Euros and Brits dress just as badly. Black socks with SANDALS????? How many Americans do you ever see doing that? This board is run by an American. If you hate Americans so much, start your own damn board.

Oh dear, appears we have hit a nerve. :blackeye:

FYI Thaiquila unlike much of the world I personally have no problems with Americans, I suffer them when need be but it does not bother me one way or the other.

The question was asked, I posted the answer as seen by some of my Thai work collegues so there really was no need to chuck your rattle out of your pram. :bounce:

[Impulse]

"I suffer them when need be",Whats that about?You must be one of the black socks and sandals crowd.Thank God Im an American,must be doing something right to have everyone crawling all over themselves to get into our country.

"I suffer them when need be",Whats that about?You must be one of the black socks and sandals crowd.Thank God Im an American,must be doing something right to have everyone crawling all over themselves to get into our country.
Actually, not everyone wants to live in America.
And immigrants are storming into Europe as well. Australia would have more but they have great controls.

[catawampuscat]

Several Thai boys have told me that they would never go out at nite wearing short pants.. Farangs can wear shorts more easily in Pattaya or
Phuket as they are more casual cities/towns than BKK.. When I wear long pants at nite, the boys think that is more appropriate for a mature man than
short pants.. I can't believe the short shorts some farangs(mostly Europeans) wear at nite and show off their pasty white bony legs..At least they wear socks (black or white) with dress shoes (let me tell you, it makes you want to throw up) or sandals, so at least their feet are covered..

Guys, I think you are safe if your shorts reach your knees and better yey, if they go over the knees.. Some of the short shorts guys look like they have owned the short shorts for 30 or 40 years, when they were last in style.. Daytime it is up to you and the hotter your body , the less you can wear..

Occassionally, one sees a mature farang with extremely hairy forearms, shoulders or backs and they wear very revealing shirts at nite.. Fortunately, many
Thais find chest and leg hair erotic or at least they say so.. Some of the same also claim to find the elderly and obese, sexy as fat is not the
sin it is in the West and they can handle men over 40 y.o., who want sex without cringing, unlike many in the West, especially gay younger men..

It is rare to find a boy who does not insist on a shower before and after for you and him.. For those of us from the colder climes, a daily shower is
usually sufficient but in Pattaya one should expect to shower many times a day or else offend others with their body smells.. Keep plenty of towels around
if you are active... :cat:

[quote="rocketThank God Im an American,must be doing something right to have everyone crawling all over themselves to get into our country.[/quote]


I would venture to suggest that this is because America seems intent on destroying so much of the world to serve its own interests that many people feel the only place the Americans would not be so stupid to destroy is its own homeland.

But there again................................ :drunken:

Anyhow what has this got to do with the opinion of Thais of Farangs?

This question of Farangs in shorts is interesting. My Thai boyfriend is fussy about what I wear and often buys me clothes which he either sends me or gives to me in Thailand. On my last trip he gave me three garish coloured pairs of shorts, none of which I would ever have thought of wearing in public. But he insisted that they would look fine with my pale (not quite white), Farang legs. As it happened torrential rain for most of my stay made trips out difficult and thin shorts weren't really practical so I didn't wear them. If I had gone out in them I would have felt that I looked exactly like so many Farang who's dress sense I do not admire.

He does wear shorts himself, a lot of the time, but they are always of the long variety (any shorter and he describes them as "too gay").

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c156/Jons_photos/Shorts.jpg

He also buys me shirts which are a bit "exuberant" for my taste. I did wear one of those yellow shirts for the King's 60th Anniversary, which he gave me, and that was fine and went down very well with the locals. I'm under strict instructions though not to wear it on subsequent trips as that would be inappropriate apparently.

[bao-bao]

I normally wear shorts here at home, but sunscreen still keeps my legs pale. I've taken my share of ribbing about it but would rather be pale than whittled on by a dermatologist, I suppose. In BKK I felt they were an asset -- headlights hitting them made me visible at night! I'm a little disappointed that on my next trip there I should dress a little more sharply in the evenings and not only during the day when visiting the wats I enjoy so.

I hate wearing shorts - one because i dont feel right and 2 because its easier to get bitten. But good old BS always insists i wear them and in a hideous pattern to boot. Things we do to keep them happy!

[Smiles]

" ... I hate wearing shorts - one because i dont feel right and 2 because its easier to get bitten. But good old BS always insists i wear them and in a hideous pattern to boot. Things we do to keep them happy! ... "
In my experience Thai guys seldom have clothing tastes which are more tacky than farang. Germans & Englishmen are stuck in another decade (Germans very far removed, Englishmen not quite so much).

Germans for instance think that tiny shorts which allow their testicles to be on public view while sitting (always with legs splayed naturally) are quite de rigeur. Americans & English have never met a colourful checkered pattern which they wouldn't happily combine with an equally as loud striped upper or lower. All three wear socks with sandals, and sometimes Speedos (though not with socks).

And then there's the Russian mafia, who dress like all other mafioso. And then there's LetMeTellYou ...

Thai guys are bastions of restrained taste compared to all of the above. Except Canadians.

Cheers ....

Except Canadians.

Have you been showing off your Indian Blanket jacket again?

Zellers...AKA: The Fashion Institute of Canada.

[rincondog]

Canadians think you can wear anything as long as you plaster a maple leaf flag on it. Ughhhhhhhhh

[bao-bao]

So far weтАЩve seen the following pet peeves of boys or "boy specials":

1) Not coming through with gifts THEY think youтАЩve тАЬpromisedтАЭ
2) The obsession with basking in the sun to tan
3) тАЬStinkтАЭ, for whatever reason тАУ sweating, too much cologne, lack of showering
4) Speaking louder, thinking this will make them understood better
5) Speaking broken English, thinking it will help the Thai understand
6) Not making an attempt to learn any Thai themselves
7) Lack of knowledge on тАЬsmart casual dressтАЭ
8) Bagging (deliberate or inadvertent) about their wealth or belongings
9) Being unhappy when the Thai is not on time or is on тАЬTTтАЭ тАУ Thai Time
10) Wearing shorts at night, especially in Bangkok

Like I said, IтАЩm not the sunbather тАУ I just get red and then peel (yuck), but I certainly appreciate a darker Asian man. However, when IтАЩve complimented men on it there though I have almost always gotten nearly the same response: тАЬoh, I am too dark!тАЭ or тАЬI am black!тАЭ or some such thing. One friend had the good grace to just say тАЬthank you, but I try to stay out of the sun because I prefer to be lighter.тАЭ

I think itтАЩs almost universal that people THINK speaking louder will make what theyтАЩre saying understandable to the listener. Obviously thatтАЩs not the case тАУ unless your Boy Special is elderly or otherwise hearing impaired!

I have been guilty of the тАЬbroken englishтАЭ thing myself, and appreciate hearing this one. It gives me a chance to try again to be clear in the first place. I try to establish an agreement straight off: if we donтАЩt understand something, just say тАЬother words, pleaseтАЭ and we try again. It slows down conversations, but it does help.

Making an attempt to learn at least a few words and phrases buys you a LOT of slack anywhere in the world. Being willing to be the source of amusement for everyone while you say them gets you an additional 100 points per self-induced embarrassment!

As for being upset with тАЬThai TimeтАЭтАж for goodness sakes, most of us are there on vacation or some sort of mental holiday, right? WhatтАЩs the rush? Years of being wrapped around the axle about such things didnтАЩt get me anything but high blood pressure. Obviously, there are times when for business reasons it is more important.

Most appreciated is the input on dress there. On the whole, I donтАЩt make fashion statementsтАж I make fashion SLURS, so have taken this as a тАЬword to the semi-wiseтАЭ.

Thanks to those who shared what theyтАЩve learned! Anything else you experienced members care to add to the list?

Quote: "Farang visitors especially the Americans have no sense of smart casual dress"

At least Americans don't wear tiny speedos at the beach with their 200 pound german beer bellies hanging out... LOL

[cottmann]

Quote: "Farang visitors especially the Americans have no sense of smart casual dress"

At least Americans don't wear tiny speedos at the beach with their 200 pound german beer bellies hanging out... LOL

Perhaps because any American weighing only 200 pounds is not yet old enough to drink beer?http://upload4.postimage.org/641000/toobigbike.jpg (http://upload4.postimage.org/641000/photo_hosting.html)

"Stinky"

And not forgetting: http://www.mypattaya.com/152pattayafart.asp

[dave_tf-old]

Any 'complaining' about farang I've heard from Thai acquaintances and friends (particularly working guys) has been more pointed towards individuals and (usually) more individual instances such as failure to tip or physical/sexual abuse. None but the more seasoned vets have seemed to be able to discern any real difference between Aussie, American, Brit or any other white guy who speaks English. I get the impression that Germans and other Euros who don't speak English are just considered backward and undereducated...like Lao speakers.

I have heard multiple stories of stereotypes about Japanese, Arabs, and Chinese...mostly negative, but some positive. I figure they have felt free to talk with me about those nationalities/races because they figure it wouldn't hurt my feelings. I dislike pretty much all farang in bar settings until I've made my selection, with no thought to nationality. They are all farking barbarians.

I can recall getting 'that look' on just a few occasions. Once, while interupting the solemn event of eating a meal with attempts to make small-talk. Once, after forgetting my manners in a moment of silliness and playing the bongos on my #1's head. Once, after raising my fist to my longest-held friend in another moment of intended frivolity. And once, after making my latest choose between Song Khran at home in Issan with family (and me) or dragging him to Chiang Mai. Chiang Mai won, but I lost.

Avoid those four (and shower frequently) and relax about everything else.