A Most Unusual Funeral

[francois]

Today, as I walked about the Wat Chai grounds in Pattaya, I noticed that parking was being directed by men in Army fatigues, which indicated some sort of military funeral. Then I heard the playing of what seemed to be some sort of Western music which piqued my curiosity.
The crematorium was lavishly decorated with many floral tributes and all the attendees were Thai in black suits and dresses.
The music was by a small combo of military personnel including a trumpet, violin, and several other musical instruments.
The music was of a militaristic style but soft and very impressive; the tunes were recognizable to anyone familiar, at all, with military music, but, at the same time, very lovely and haunting.
Whomever the deceased was, he was given a most impressive ceremony.

[arsenal]

Oh what a circus, oh what a show, Argentina has gone to town.
Over the death of an actress called Eva Peron.
Oh what an exit, that's how to go. When they're bringing you're curtain down.
Demand to be buried like Eva Peron.

From the musical, Evita.

[bobsaigon2]

Suffering a bit from lack of oxygen, I'll turn on the tank soon, maybe that's what makes me try to imagine what sort of funeral arrangements we would see when the end comes for certain SGT board members.

[frequent]

Suffering a bit from lack of oxygen, I'll turn on the tank soon, maybe that's what makes me try to imagine what sort of funeral arrangements we would see when the end comes for certain SGT board members.I'll leave my funeral arrangements to others; I hope to die at the moment of climax, one boy sitting on my cock and another on my face. That's why I always pay them before we begin; I'd hate them to have to go searching for the tip

[bobsaigon2]

I'll leave my funeral arrangements to others; I hope to die at the moment of climax, one boy sitting on my cock and another on my face. That's why I always pay them before we begin; I'd hate them to have to go searching for the tip

Very thoughtful of you.

[frequent]

Very thoughtful of you.Noblesse oblige

[FarangRuMak]

Climaxic death is very common but not often recorded as such.
I read a report from the USA that many middle aged men get heart attacks during sex but are too embarrassed to call 999 and won't allow their wives (or maybe secret lover) to do so.
Can't see that happening with posters here though.
We're very much into Aristotelian dog philosophy here - shameless in the exercise of bodily functions.

[bobsaigon2]

And speaking of the Great Philosopher, he did provide a means of avoiding criticism, of which there is an abundance on this forum. However, it's a bit drastic: According to Aristotle, "There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing and be nothing".

This is my second or third strange post today. Maybe I need to adjust my meds.

[arsenal]

Leave the meds alone. I like your strange posts.

[samebb]

That's why I always pay them before we begin; I'd hate them to have to go searching for the tip

They know exactly where you wallet is.... Always. Thats why you always here a little sigh from the bathroom when they hear the beeping of the hotel room safe... LOL

[joe552]

Ah come on now, lads. Where else would you get Aristotle and Thai rent boys discussed at the same time? See, that's the beauty of this forum.

[FarangRuMak]

They know exactly where you wallet is.... Always. Thats why you always here a little sigh from the bathroom when they hear the beeping of the hotel room safe... LOL
Not as loud as the grunt he hears from the bathroom when he finally works out the code and inserts it.

[frequent]

I did rather enjoy the gay sub-plot in that film Death at a Funeral

[frequent]

I read a report from the USA that many middle aged men get heart attacks during sex but are too embarrassed to call 999 and won't allow their wives (or maybe secret lover) to do so.Men go to hospital emergency rooms with a vibrator stuck up their anus more often, I'm told, than anyone might imagine

[francois]

I did rather enjoy the gay sub-plot in that film Death at a Funeral

The funeral I witnessed was nothing like Death at a Funeral which you referenced.

Nonetheless, it is most interesting how a post can deteriorate in such a short time, but, to be expected, on this forum. And may I add, all at the hands of the same few persons.:(

[FarangRuMak]

The funeral I witnessed was nothing like Death at a Funeral which you referenced.

Nonetheless, it is most interesting how a post can deteriorate in such a short time, but, to be expected, on this forum. And may I add, all at the hands of the same few persons.:(
Cremation is practiced because a corpse can deteriorate in such a short time.
Could an analogous sure-fire solution to the deterioration of posts here be implemented?

[arsenal]

Francois wrote.
"Nonetheless, it is most interesting how a post can deteriorate in such a short time, but, to be expected, on this forum. And may I add, all at the hands of the same few persons."

With all due respect Francois. There is little anyone can say about a particular funeral. If everyone were forced to stick solely to the OPs original topic then each thread would be very short.

[joe552]

I actually enjoy the free range nature of the board, where a topic can move on to other topics. If I'm out for a drink, we don't stick to the original topic of conversation for a set amount of time, then move on to the next topic. It just all blends into one long conversation about anything and everything.

[francois]

Cremation is practiced because a corpse can deteriorate in such a short time.
Could an analogous sure-fire solution to the deterioration of posts here be implemented?

That would be the ideal solution!

The fact is this forum basically is a free-for-all involving the same 6 or so posters who enjoy the tete-a-tete amongst themselves at the expense of others by irrelevant postings.
Perhaps that is what keeps the forum alive or maybe this is what is killing it?

Just an observation by myself and not a condemnation.

Personally I believe some self control would be the best way to keep posts on track and not turn each and every post into something that was not intended.

[frequent]

The funeral I witnessed was nothing like Death at a Funeral which you referenced.

Nonetheless, it is most interesting how a post can deteriorate in such a short time, but, to be expected, on this forum. And may I add, all at the hands of the same few persons.:(Life's a bitch isn't it!

[joe552]

francois, your original post was interesting, but not THAT interesting. So why are you complaining that people have moved on a bit? It's not like you were at a funeral due in BKK in a couple of weeks. I'd be interested to read reports about that major event.

[francois]

Better for posters to read a post and then, if applicable, post a sensible reply or say nothing.

Does this post by frequent illustrate my point?

Men go to hospital emergency rooms with a vibrator stuck up their anus more often, I'm told, than anyone might imagine

The post I made about a funeral ceremony, which I found to be touching, didn't require anyone to respond much less make a mockery of it.

Really, can't any of you see how you are destroying this forum by continuing to derail others' posts all for the fun of it?

[arsenal]

No one mocked the funeral Francois, nor the deceased for that matter. My reply led to a general chat about how various members wish to go. It's what we do here. Far from the forum dying it's bursting with life. Many members are are having 5 or 6 conversations on 5 or 6 threads with each other over the course of days or often in real time. There is not much anyone can say about a funeral, the person being buried not named.

[francois]

Make me the moderator and things will change.:devilsh:

[joe552]

well that would make for a very different board, francois!

[francois]

At least, I did get responses to my post and some were pertinent, for that I thank those posters.

[joe552]

as a matter of interest, will any of our BKK members be attending the ceremonies?

[francois]

joe,One assumes you are speaking of the ceremonies for His Majesty?
Actually there will be ceremonies around the country such as will be happening in Pattaya at Wat Chai. Perhaps I shall drop by to see how that is proceeding but likely a huge crowd will be there? I believe you will not be in Thailand at that time.

[joe552]

no francois, I won't be in Thailand at that time, but I'd be interested in hearing how the ceremonies go.

[whitemouse]

Back to OP, and funeral ceremony of John Doe that Francois witnessed at Wat Chai on Oct15th.

Have you guys ever been to cremation party? What's it like? For example, if the deceased was a large person, there is lot of fat to fry. Does it smell anything like Western style barbecue? I bet it does, but you'd have to be fairly close to the fireplace to smell it.
What happens to bones? Our barbecue parties in Europe we just roast the meat and fat drips off it. But how long until bones disintegrate? Must be hours.

Also, I wonder if funeral bbq smells like pork? Beef and lamb are not as fatty, so I imagine pork would be closest to human meat.
Would be interested to have answers to some of these questions.

[whitemouse]

For answers to all these questions seek out anyone who has a condo on the beach side of 'Center Condo' especially on floors 10 up cos they occupy the Chimney's smoke and ash zone.
I know a guy who leaves his cornflakes in a bowl on the balcony on cremation days to spice it up, provided the wind is right.

Interesting!

Wouldn't pigeons and other birds attack the bowl of cornflakes left outside on balcony, and ruin his cornflake feast?

[whitemouse]

So it seems Centre Condo is a win win, you can buy cheapest bologna at Friendship supermarket, walk home, set the table on your balcony, and if the wind is right, the smell recepticles in your nose tell your brain that you are attending a wonderful barbeque! All while you're feasting on a 79 baht bologna sandwich.

Think of the savings of not having to buy pork, and all the crap needed for barbecue! Can't beat that!

[arsenal]

It might depend on the diet of the person being cremated. For example a Norwegian might give off a pleasantly pickled fish aroma whereas an Irishman might leave you wanting a bowl of hotpot.

[joe552]

I don't think hotpot is a common dish in Ireland. Do you mean Irish Stew? My only knowledge of hotpot is the one which was a staple at the Rover's Return on Corrie (was it Betty's hotpot?)

[FarangRuMak]

I thought I deleted this post about the cornflakes.
The guy whose penchant is this reads posts here and I'm the only 'other' that knows.
Sorry Jock, you know I'm joking.

[arsenal]

Meat and potatoes Joe. That is all hotpot is and I'm pretty certain that's the only dish available to eat in Ireland. Or have I been misinformed?

[francois]

A new low has been reached and I didn't that was possible.But on this forum the limit for low-brow posts is, indeed, low. :devilsh:

[dinagam]

Just bury the corpses at sea. That should solve the aromas issue. The sea creatures will be rejoicing.

[bobsaigon2]

Just to set the record straight, there are no cremation parties in Thailand, and probably not in any other countries, so post #30 is likely the result of a decidedly ulterior motive.

[NitNoi]

I attended a cremation party in Bali some years ago. A young man killed in a traffic accident. A gas burner under the timber kept things burning while the friends and relatives had a picnic. Not a somber occasion. The younger ones frolicking on the sand or swimming.
I didn't go close to the fire and I wasn't aware of any particular aroma.

[scottish-guy]

Nearly dropped my breakfast when (without reading glasses) I totally misread the bit about people "frolicking" on the sand during the cremation

[bobsaigon2]

I stand corrected. Apparently mourners gather on the beach in Bali while the corpse is set alight nearby. I am still quite sure there are no cremation parties in Thailand

[francois]

It keeps getting lower and lower. Have none of you no shame?

[whitemouse]

A new low has been reached and I didn't that was possible.But on this forum the limit for low-brow posts is, indeed, low. :devilsh:

I know, right! Some people have no class!

Speaking of cremation parties, it would make sense to add a suckling piglet into the fire, because once you have gone through all this trouble gathering wood, piling it in a neat huddle, why waste a perfectly good fire? Sooner or later party goers will feel hungry, and that way they could have a nice barbecued piglet, or beef, whatever. It makes sense if you think about it.

And if there happen to be some French people at the party, they could through few pigeons into the fireplace, I've heard grilled pigeon is a delicacy for French people.

I wonder if they eat seagulls, too. We have soo many seagulls in Estonia, they start yapping at 5am every morning near my balcony, very frustrating! I could easily set up a trap for seagulls, and open an export business, shipping them to France.

[cdnmatt]

Speaking of cremation parties, it would make sense to add a suckling piglet into the fire, because once you have gone through all this trouble gathering wood, piling it in a neat huddle, why waste a perfectly good fire? Sooner or later party goers will feel hungry, and that way they could have a nice barbecued piglet, or beef, whatever. It makes sense if you think about it.

And if there happen to be some French people at the party, they could through few pigeons into the fireplace, I've heard sauteed pigeon is a delicacy for French people.


You've never been to a funeral in Thailan, nor have smelled a dead body burning on charcoal before, have you?

I've only been to one funeral here, but up here at least, once the fire starts, everyone gets the hell out and goes home, a long way from where the fire is.

But yes, there's about 3 days of partying that goes on before / during the funeral. Then the day of the cremation, there's a big party at the temple with dancers, food, and everything else, before everyone says good bye to the deceased by putting cocunt water on the body with these hand made wodden brushes.

[francois]

Quite right, matt. At many Wats there is an actual crematorium but in more rural areas the cremation is on a pile of wood and, from what I have seen and read, a rather macabre experience.

[frequent]

Speaking of cremation parties, it would make sense to add a suckling piglet into the fire ...In cannibal societies human flesh is known as "long pig", so that would seem rather appropriate whitemouse

[frequent]

You've never been to a funeral in Thailan, nor have smelled a dead body burning on charcoal before, have you?Yes but there's a significant difference between a fresh corpse, as would be the case in a village or indeed for most Thais, and a body long dead and either desiccated or embalmed

[whitemouse]

In cannibal societies human flesh is known as "long pig", so that would seem rather appropriate whitemouse

Yep, I read that somehere, too. To each his own, I guess, who am I to judge. People who eat everything are not strictly limited to pork and pigeons at the barbeque. It's always prefreble to have choices. Adds spice to life, or something like that

[whitemouse]

Yes but there's a significant difference between a fresh corpse, as would be the case in a village or indeed for most Thais, and a body long dead and either desiccated or embalmed

What!? Are you saying they are not always fresh? Ughhh.. that's disgusting! Now I'm starting to understand Francois' displeasure with the way this is going.

[scottish-guy]

I remember when in 2007 the UK had the Foot and Mouth outbreak and piles of burning cattle greeted any journey through the countryside.

I don't recall the smell being particularly unpleasant - just roasted meat basically - why would a burning human smell any different?

Where's Christian when you need him - he could ask that grandfather of his - the one who fell off the watchtower

:mocking_mini:

[whitemouse]

why would a burning human smell any different?

Where's Christian when you need him - he could ask that grandfather of his - the one who fell off the watchtower



Yeah, that's right, Christian's grandpa worked at watchtower of one of those camping grounds. It's questionable if he'd have any useful insight tho, the watchtowers were probably lower than the chimneys, he may have easily smelled nothing. But just walking around on camping grounds would give some idea of the smell.

If he was anything like ChristianPFC, he took detailed notes. Hidden somewhere there must be volumes and volumes of priceless first hand information.

Maybe ChristianPFC can shed some light on this issue, when he has time to drop by, that is. Lately he's been strangely absent, probably hiking at some god forsaken province, looking for god knows what.

[arsenal]

Whitemouse: Pigeon is eaten almost everywhere but it must be the wood pigeon, not the one found in cities. Seagulls would have a rather unpleasant fishy taste which is why seabirds (with the notable exception of the puffin) are rarely consumed anywhere.

[scottish-guy]

W... Seagulls would have a rather unpleasant fishy taste...

Kinda like FISH ?

Which people seem to manage to eat the world over without it finding it "rather unpleasant"?

[arsenal]

Scottish. If you want to eat something that has the texture of meat with the taste of fish then please go and catch a seagull and chomp away with what few teeth you have left.

https://forums.digitalspy.com/discussion/1425309/why-dont-we-eat-seagulls

[scottish-guy]

At least I don't keep my teeth in a glass of water

:D

Oh and I knew your phraseology reminded me of someone:



5634

[arsenal]

I've always assumed you looked rather like Blakey and that proves it.

[gerefan2]

Interesting about funerals. I would far rather to go a good funeral than a wedding. In fact I have told my friend that I am never going to another wedding.

There are at least two good reasons why funerals are more fun to attend...

1. You know it will last (unlike 60% of weddings) and,
2. You haven’t got to buy a present.

[scottish-guy]

Plus, as time goes on you have far more opportunities to attend funerals than weddings

[scottish-guy]

I've always assumed you looked rather like Blakey and that proves it.

Len, you haven't quite grasped the concept of originality, have you?

[francois]

The posts herein just goes to prove that the Sawatdee Network is nothing but a jest among those few who posts here.

[whitemouse]

Scottish. If you want to eat something that has the texture of meat with the taste of fish then please go and catch a seagull and chomp away


It is an acquired taste, that's for sure, but a seagull sandwich tastes almost like tuna sandwich, I'm sure.
Think about it, tuna is a weird fish that has texture of a meat, but tastes sort of like fish, but not really like a normal fish, like, say, halibut. Seagull is a meat product, with texture like meat, with a little after taste of fish. I can see huge market for seagull based snacks in Japan, for example.

[joe552]

I have to disagree, francois. I see the board as a mix between sharing information, and some lighthearted banter.

For example, I got great advice on where to stay in Pattaya, and also for the short trip to Bangkok. Sometimes, some might get carried away, but generally I like the free-wheeling style of the board.

[whitemouse]

Seagulls would have a rather unpleasant fishy taste..

Half of worlds population, straight males, adore fishy taste, so I fail to see this as some kind of counter argument.

[whitemouse]

The posts herein just goes to prove that the Sawatdee Network is nothing but a jest among those few who posts here.

Or one could see Sawadtee as a court of like minded gentlemen, connoisseurs of the refined. Men of eclectic tastes, with a flair for exotic. We are Reneissance Men.

[whitemouse]

The posts herein just goes to prove that the Sawatdee Network is nothing but a jest among those few who posts here.

Are you saying this thread was meant to be serious thread?

You saw a funeral, and you decided to make a thread out of it. You didn't know the dead person, you walked by someone's funeral. You then sat down, and opened a thread about the funeral, on gay board. You can't be serious! Tell me this is some deep, meta sarcasm, please!

You have nerve to shit on your own board, our board: 'Sawatdee Network is nothing but a jest among those few who posts here.'.

You are shitting on our board, on a board that you, too, post on.

Sawadtee is the best gay board about Thailand by far. And you are clearly not well.

If you're truly serious how dissapointed you are in Sawdtee, what do you suppose we should do to improve it? Each member start his own thread about some funeral of some stranger? No, seriously, what in your mind would make this board better? More funeral threads, I suppose.

If I wasn't a noob here, I would tell you to go and find better board. But you are long time member, and I cant tell you to do that. But I REALLY would like to! Fucking hell, man. You are disappointed in Sawadtee lol...
'

[whitemouse]

The posts herein just goes to prove that the Sawatdee Network is nothing but a jest among those few who posts here.

I'm gonna do my part, and improve the standards of this board by taking a break.

People like you, Fracois, make me feel old and tired, this suck the life out of me. Don't like this feeling, at all.

[neddy3]

Enjoy your break!

Take your time.

[cdnmatt]

I'm gonna do my part, and improve the standards of this board by taking a break.

People like you, Fracois, make me feel old and tired, this suck the life out of me. Don't like this feeling, at all.


Put the drugs down for a few weeks, and your emotions wouldn't be all over the place like this.

[scottish-guy]

I find Whitemouse quite amusing - I hope Matt isn't morphing into yet another SGT Moaning Minnie

[francois]

I am pleased that you all enjoy my posts. Almost as good as a circle-jerk.

[joe552]

I don't recall anyone actually saying that, francois, although I'm sure we all do.

[scottish-guy]

Seriously worried that you would even entertain the idea of participating in a circle jerk with any members of this forum.

It's like something that William Burroughs might think up - if his LSD had been spiked with something more hallucinogenic .

[joe552]

`But SG, I've heard from reliable sources around Sunee you are a "very hansum man".

[scottish-guy]

Yes - and also "very big"

[christianpfc]

Maybe ChristianPFC can shed some light on this issue, when he has time to drop by, that is. Lately he's been strangely absent, probably hiking at some god forsaken province, looking for god knows what.

5664

He who can name the place (from knowledge, not google!) will get a like.

[arsenal]

Colditz Castle.

[scottish-guy]

Not Colditz but it's obviously in Germany. Without cheating I don't know

More importantly, if that's where Christian's been we can only assume he's been deported from Thailand :D

[a447]

It's Wartburg Castle.

And come to think of it, the ticket seller there bore a striking resemblance to Christian!

And I also recall seeing some graffiti on the wall - "Martin Luther war hier" or something like that. But I may be mistaken!