Now, what was I going to say?

[joe552]

Serious question, gentlemen. I sometimes find myself staring at my computer screen, thinking I know I was about to do something, but I forget what it was. Same on here, I go to reply to a thread, but forget what it's about. My mother had Alzheimers, so that's a big fear for me.

[cdnmatt]

I think we all do that. Walk into a room, stand there for 20 seconds or so wondering why you went in there. Settle for shrugging your shoulders, and walking back out. :)

[scottish-guy]

Joe, believe me that in comparison to the things I forget, your little memory lapses are mild.

Takes me 3 or 4 attempts to get out in the morning because I keep forgetting one item after another.

Can never find my specs or my wallet.

When I find the wallet I can't remember where the credit card that's meant to be in it, isn't. More searching ensues.

Go to visit a client and when I go to revisit in a couple of weeks I haven't the least idea where they live or what their name is.

Also, I can only concentrate on one thing at one time - and any background noise or interruption really impairs my ability to concentrate.

And yet, according to the Memory Clinic which I recently attended (voluntarily), my memory is well above average and my mind is simply "cluttered" with too much shit going on at once.

:drink:

PS: The doctors didn't actually say "shit" :lol:

[joe552]

Thanks, SG. That re-assures me a little bit. Now, who owns this cock in my mouth?

[bobsaigon2]

You sound as "normal" as the rest of us, Joe. Can't expect the mind/memory to work perfectly at this point in life. If you need to carry a card with your name and address on it in order to get back home, then that might be a cause for concern.

Sorry I can't help with the other part of your question. Does it really matter whose organ it is? It might be unsettling if, while pleasuring your partner, you couldn't recall whether you were gay or straight. :)

[joe552]

The thing is, I don't have a partner, and could never afford a money boy here in Dublin. But luckily, it turned out to be just wishful thinking. I have to wait till January to have a real "cock in mouth" experience. Deferred gratification!

[latintopxxx]

...so sad...only a MB will touch u...

[joe552]

...so sad...only a MB will touch u...

Fuck off, latintop. What's your beef with me? I really don't understand your anger against me.

[Yraen]

I sometimes find myself staring at my computer screen, thinking I know I was about to do something, but I forget what it was. Same on here, I go to reply to a thread, but forget what it's about.

Nothing new i.n this Joe. Most people have these lapses. My Google search leads me to think it is essentially self-distraction. Eg: You are in the kitchen and think of something you need to do so you walk into your bedroom and the thought is totally gone. It is often something to do with walking through doorways.

On my computer it is often just changing from one browser to another, or even one website to another, that triggers my forgetfulness.
If you are concerned about heredity "Old Timers", go see your Dr and get some tests done.

[cdnmatt]

Joe, if you want another good example to make you feel better...

For the last few days, I've been wandering around looking for my lost husband. You know how when you just wake up, you wander around a not sure what's going on?

For the past few days every time I woke up I'd wander around the house looking for my honey, to make sure he's ok. I'd check the office to see if he's playing his game, and nope, not there. So I'd check his bedroom to see if he's just relaxing with his phone / tablet, and no, not there either. So I'd check the kitchen to see if there's any extra dirty dishes, so I've known he's eaten, and nope, nothing.

Well fuck, where is my honey?

Then I'd fully wake up, and remember, he's not even in Thailand right now. He's in Laos at the moment.

[Yraen]

#Matt
ROTFLMAO

[scottish-guy]

Seriously though - staring blankly at a computer screen is not dementia.

Not knowing it's a computer screen is dementia

[cdnmatt]

Is that a poke at blind people? Go fuck yourself if it is.

Could just as easily happen to you. All it takes is one bad fall.

[a447]

Or a vivid imagination.

[FarangRuMak]

It has happened to me twice in the last year.
A few minutes after the MB left;
I can't find my atm card.
Not in my wallet, not in my pocket, not in the muesli box with my credit cards, not under the bed, not anywhere.
There's dementia in the family.
I go to the doctor and check with my bank.
There's evidence of activity on my card and then I realised that I had forgotten that this MB scammed me before.

[scottish-guy]

Is that a poke at blind people? Go fuck yourself if it is.

Could just as easily happen to you. All it takes is one bad fall.

Not actually sure who you're aiming that at, Matt but if it's me then the answer is NO - your situation did not even cross my mind, I was merely stating a medical fact! However, I'll put it another way:

Dementia is not forgetting where you left your car keys, it's forgetting what a car is.

Hope a car owner doesn't attack me now. Jeez

[cdnmatt]

Oh fuck, I just did it again. Woke up from a nap, and went wandering around the house looking for my husband. Nope, still in Laos. Tomorrow, he'll be back. Thank fuck for that, because I need a hug.

@scottish -- Sorry about that, just a drunk guy talking. I tried to edit / delete that post last night, but didn't work. Sorry about that.

[joe552]

A serious question Matt, and not poking fun or trying to make little of you. At what point did Leo become your "husband"?

This is only my personal view, for what it's worth. And Matt, it's absolutely not directed at you. When the term "partner" replaced the word "boyfriend", especially for couples who'd been together a while, I thought I like that. Has a ring of equality about it (and it also covered women too). Now that many countries have same-sex marriage, it seems everyone's a "husband", which to me has patriarchal undertones (or overtones, I could never tell the difference). What was wrong with partner?

[scottish-guy]

But Joe - back in the old days (when I was very young of course)and before we had the designation of partner your gay other half was often referred to as your affair

Which reminds me of a story involving an infamous and fearless Glasgow tranny who was known to everybody on the gay scene as Betty Hutton.

It was in the late 70's - a time when gay "clones" were a thing (see pic)

In those days the pubs shut about 10pm and it was the custom to go on to someones house for a party.

Well Betty was in a taxi with a few others, on her way to a party when she spotted two uniformed policemen walking along the road.

She wound down the window of the taxi and shouted to them at the top of her voice.

"I can't fucking stand these affairs who dress exactly the same!"

5463

[joe552]

SG, I must be older that I thought - I remember the word 'affair' being used to refer to a boyfriend. I remember those guys all looking alike (not my taste). I had a moustache back then, but simply to make me look older (obviously I was a sweet-faced youth!)

[cdnmatt]

A serious question Matt, and not poking fun or trying to make little of you. At what point did Leo become your "husband"?

This is only my personal view, for what it's worth. And Matt, it's absolutely not directed at you. When the term "partner" replaced the word "boyfriend", especially for couples who'd been together a while, I thought I like that. Has a ring of equality about it (and it also covered women too). Now that many countries have same-sex marriage, it seems everyone's a "husband", which to me has patriarchal undertones (or overtones, I could never tell the difference). What was wrong with partner?


Before we even met in person, we chatted on Line daily for about 8 months. Then we've been living together for about 14 months now, he's been with me through this whole blind (and poor) thing, and has stuck by my side. I love him more than words can describe.

Yes, we're not technically or lgally married, but give us the papers, and we'll both be happy to sign them. We'll probably have some ceremony in Laos once we manage to move there. Then once I get him to Canada, we'll actually get legally married.

I don't give a shit about marriage in and of itself, but Canada immigration does, so if I want to get him permanent residency status to Canada, we need to get married. Then he seems to really like the idea of an official ceremony / party in Laos for his friends and family, so we can do that too.

[frequent]

Yes, we're not technically or lgally married, but give us the papers, and we'll both be happy to sign them. We'll probably have some ceremony in Laos once we manage to move there. Then once I get him to Canada, we'll actually get legally married.So referring to your catamite as your "husband" is wholly meaningless. As Humpty Dumpty says (Alice in Wonderland/through the Looking Glass) "When I use a word it mean exactly what I say it means, neither more nor less". Modern communication is not built on such whims, as Lewis Carroll (a Victorian clergyman and probably paedophile) knew very well

I don't give a shit about marriage in and of itself, but Canada immigration does, so if I want to get him permanent residency status to Canada, we need to get married. Then he seems to really like the idea of an official ceremony / party in Laos for his friends and family, so we can do that too.Oh so it's Canada too, now. That's after the (presumably illegal) departure from Thailand by swimming the Mekong and setting up legitimately in Laos etc. etc. Have you thought about Fantasy Island at all (except you already seem to be there)?

[cdnmatt]

Ohhh, and to answer your question about "why not just partner"? My question is, why not husband?

It's not like he's just some dude I found on Grindr, had a good orgasm with, and decided he was my husband. Assuming he's up for it, he's the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. Grow old together, get rich together, travel the world together, maybe even adopt children together someday, and everything else. Through the thick and tin, I'll be there for him, and he's already proven he'll do the same for me many times over.

So yes, we're husbands.

Why should Leo and myself be denied the same rights my mother and father have, just because we're gay? Thankfully, Canada federalized gay marriage in 2005. If I want to get Leo into Canada with PR status under a spousal sponsorship, we need to get married. I love him just as much as my father loves my mother, so there shouldn't be any discrimination, and thankfully the Canadian government agrees with me.

b

[frequent]

Assuming he's up for it, he's the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.You said that about both of the last two, didn't you? And as I recall you once told us you're still married to some other dude you sponsored for Immigration. When's the divorce?

[bobsaigon2]

"So yes, we're husbands"

I guess I'm really out of date/out of touch. I've led a sheltered life. "Husbands" with "s"? Not one wife and one husband? "Partners" I understand. Two husbands? How does that work?

[joe552]

Apparently, they both "wear the trousers"!

[frequent]

"So yes, we're husbands"

I guess I'm really out of date/out of touch. I've led a sheltered life. "Husbands" with "s"? Not one wife and one husband? "Partners" I understand. Two husbands? How does that work?

You've missed out on all the politically-correct bullshit, Bob. In a same-sex relationship you can't refer to an opposite sex role because that would imply something about the roles within the same sex relationship eg. one was always top (the husband) and the other bottom (the wife). It's much simpler to ignore the whole same sex marriage nonsense altogether and refer either to "boyfriend" or, as I do, "catamite" (about the younger partner). If I know the boyfriend's name then I use that (unless I'm deliberately trying to annoy or be provocative). I'm not using that latter word in a pejorative sense, just as I don't use "sodomite" or "prostitute" in any other than their usual meaning; no moral judgment is being made about those persons and no sense of sexual guilt is being expressed by me when I use those words rather than using some euphemism. As a self-confessed "whoremonger" how could I?!

[scottish-guy]

...I had a moustache back then, but simply to make me look older (obviously I was a sweet-faced youth!)

OMFG I had an excuse for a moustache for the same reason - so I could sit in The Vintner's bar in Glasgow smoking Sobrano cocktail cigarettes whilst doing my homework

[scottish-guy]

Much as it pains me to give Frequent any credit whatsoever, he's right with the "husbands" things.

The other side of the coin is that both halves of a lesbian couple now refer to each other as being a "wife".

If you doubt it you can watch the unfunny fat little Scottish lesbian "comedian" on this year's Strictly Come Dancing as she refers to her "wife" in the audience

And no, it's not me before you say it

:D

[bobsaigon2]

I posted this before I saw SG's posts. The world is simply making less sense to me these days:

OK, got it. But still a bit mystified. Partner or boyfriend, fine. Can't fit two husbands into my frame of reference. And lesbians? Two wives? Two husbands? Two spouses? I give up.

[frequent]

Much as it pains me to give Frequent any credit whatsoever, he's right with the "husbands" things.And straights love to speculate on who plays which role within the relationship. As a teenager I recall visiting a holidaying bishop at a beach resort with my parents; there was a lively but not malicious conversation about which of the two guys (assumed to be a couple) in the next tent (no "camping it up" jokes please) played which role

[frequent]

OMFG I had an excuse for a moustache for the same reason - so I could sit in The Vintner's bar in Glasgow smoking Sobrano cocktail cigarettes whilst doing my homeworkWhile waiting for a pick up?

[joe552]

Smoking Sobrano? So you were a little queen even then. Do tell me you were wearing short pants. I often come in short pants, but I think that's to do with my heavy smoking!

[cdnmatt]

Sorry, but some of you are on the wrong side of history here, because country after country has legalized gay marriage.

Just because we both happen to have dicks doesn't mean we don't love each other as much as my mother and father do. Yes, I should be allowed to apply to Canada immigration under a spousal sponorship to get him PR status. Yes, we should have hospital vistation rights for each other. Yes, if / when I fill out taxes again, I should be allowed to claim him as my spouse.

It's only right.

[joe552]

Matt, you are misunderstanding what people are saying. None of us (as far as I can see) are opposed to gay marriage. It's the term "husband" or "wife" we disagree with.

If I had a Thai partner who I wanted to bring to live in Ireland, I would have to go through a similar process to that which scottish-guy is going through in relation to his Vietnames BF (as SG refers to him). Nobody's saying don't bring your partner to your home country if that's what you both want. It's the word you using that some of us a problem with.

[cdnmatt]

What the fuck is the problem with the word? We're married. That makes him my husband.

Done. What's the problem here?

[joe552]

When did you get married? In Thailand, Laos, or Canada? Come on Matt, you might be in a "committed relationship" but there's no way you're "married".

You know, sometimes I read your posts and think "he seems like a good guy, wouldn't mind having a few beers with him". Other times you come across as a delusional dick.

[frequent]

None of us (as far as I can see) are opposed to gay marriageWrong!!

[frequent]

What the fuck is the problem with the word? We're married. That makes him my husband.

Done. What's the problem here?

Because sweetie you're a bigamist. On your own admission you're still married to some dude back in Canada

[joe552]

Frequent, I don't think I've ever seen a post on here which opposed gay marriage. There have certainly been threads about the idea of gay men buying into that whole marriage thing, but I think most would agree "if you want to do it, go ahead". Maybe not you or I (hah chance would be a fine thing) but if other people want to go through the process, why not let them? Makes no difference to my life.

[scottish-guy]

OMFG I had an excuse for a moustache for the same reason - so I could sit in The Vintner's bar in Glasgow smoking Sobrano cocktail cigarettes whilst doing my homework


While waiting for a pick up?

No, just soaking up the social atmospherics :D

However I was sitting doing my English homework once when my English teacher walked in - so that was an interesting conversation

[joe552]

Ah, but did your English teacher off you from the bar? The world is waiting. And what about the short pants?

[scottish-guy]

NO - he was highly embarrassed.

Plus he looked ridiculous in the short pants but live and let live I say

:D

[joe552]

Another chuckle, SG!

[cdnmatt]

When did you get married? In Thailand, Laos, or Canada? Come on Matt, you might be in a "committed relationship" but there's no way you're "married".

You know, sometimes I read your posts and think "he seems like a good guy, wouldn't mind having a few beers with him". Other times you come across as a delusional dick.


Oh, without question I'm crazy. I've been blind for just over a year now. Since Sept 15th, 2016 to be exact -- for some reason, I think I'll remember that day. Give it a try. Crack your skull open in the wrong spot, go blind for a year, and let's see what your mental stability is like. :)

I'll give you an example as to why he's my husband. Twice now, my father has shown up in Khon Kaen unannounced, trying to bring me back to Canada. The last time the whole family even got on a call for an "intervention" of sorts. Both times I flat our refused, because I'm simply not willing to leave my husband. The whole family is now pissed off at me, and especially Leo, because they blame him for me staying in Thailand. I guess that is somewhat true, but it was my decision. Ig you want to get pissed off at someone, get pissed off at me, not Leo.

Leo just did the same. He was recently in Laos because his father was hospitalized. His father now needs to live-in care taker, so Leo arranged his younger brother for the role. The family is pissed at him, because they expected him to stay in the village his his father. Instead, he decided fuck that, I'm going to go stay with my husband.

That's why he's my husband. We've both made huge sacrifices to be together, so to tell me I'm not afforded the same legal rights as a straight couple is beyond ridiculous.

[cdnmatt]

Oh, and I got married on June 16th, 2005 to be exact, in Nelson, British Columbia, Canada.

Thanks for the reminder. I need to get those divorce papers filed. Thankfully, I'm on good talking terms with my ex-husband now.

[frequent]

Thanks for the reminder. I need to get those divorce papers filed. Thankfully, I'm on good talking terms with my ex-husband now.Hope you're able to see to fill in the papers. After all, you struggled with a simple passport renewal
...so to tell me I'm not afforded the same legal rights as a straight couple is beyond ridiculous.What's beyond ridiculous is wanting to act like a straight couple

[cdnmatt]

Not trying to act "normal". Quite obviously, I missed that train a long time ago.

However, our relationship should be recognized just as much as a wife and husband. To give one example, this whole move to Laos would be much easier if Laos recognized same-sex marriage. Then we could just get me a spousal VISA, and we'd be good to go. Instead, now I'm stuck having to buy some fucken internet cafe or similar in Vientiane.

[francois]

The saga of matt and Leo gets better and better as time goes on. Can't wait for the final chapter, if there ever is one.