"A Treatise On Farting"

[Smiles]

Feeling quite under the weather these last two days ... long sleeps and finding the most unusual 'searches' with my in-bed tablet.
Here's one which will undoubtedly make you laugh (perhaps hold your nose). A very old topic from PattayaGay Board circa 2002.
Turn up the music!.

http://classic-web.archive.org/web/20041114130139/http://www.pattayagay.com/forum/viewthread.php?tid=626

[arsenal]

Smiles: What is the point of this? It will turn into a rather disgusting thread very quickly.

[francois]

Fart is one of those words that my bf picked up quite quickly; along with fuck and shit.

[Smiles]

Smiles: What is the point of this? It will turn into a rather disgusting thread very quickly.
Don't be so puritanical -- wasn't it you who gushed over gogo boys finally adding 'rimming' to their repetoire? (Or was it Latinpoxx? I've forgotten).
What's a little disgust every so often, especially on a message board which has not looked out over the edge of the abyss for some time now.

[fountainhall]

I think this is a perfectly acceptable subject both because it affects all of us - other than the completely constipated - and involves cultural sensitivities. Guys out for an evening can fart freely and joke about it. Do so on the Skytrain or MRT (and worse still in polite company) and it can be somewhat embarrassing, the more so if it is of considerable length and perhaps also not what we called in my boyhood "the silent suffocator". In such cases, I will always adopt a disapproving frown and start to stare at someone nearby, hopefully giving others the impression that I am not the guilty party.

The old thread asks what happens when these silent explosions take place when you are in bed with a cute guy and the "it wasn't me" stare can't work. I admit I will try to enact the deed in the quietest possible way and then ruffle the duvet gently to expel the offending odour away from my companion. Outdoors you don't have to worry nearly as much for it is quickly "Gone with the Wind"!

[jimnbkk]

I think this is a perfectly acceptable subject both because it affects all of us - other than the completely constipated - and involves cultural sensitivities. Guys out for an evening can fart freely and joke about it. Do so on the Skytrain or MRT (and worse still in polite company) and it can be somewhat embarrassing, the more so if it is of considerable length and perhaps also not what we called in my boyhood "the silent suffocator". In such cases, I will always adopt a disapproving frown and start to stare at someone nearby, hopefully giving others the impression that I am not the guilty party.

This might work, except in my case I have found that my farts have a quite acceptable smell, and thus I can adopt a 'smug' look instead of the 'disapproving frown' described above.

{smile}

[rexton]

Wind from the belly giving ease to the heart and ignorant people call it a "fart"....

[francois]

Smiles , here is an even older treatise on farting written by Benjamin Franklin in 1781 while ambassador to France.

“Fart for freedom, fart for liberty—and fart proudly.”
― Benjamin Franklin, Fart Proudly: Writings of Benjamin Franklin You Never Read in School

[fountainhall]

What's the definition of bravery? A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!

[fountainhall]

The 'f' word reminds me of a story told me by my sister. Taking her 8-year old grandson to school one morning, he suddenly turned to her and said, "Granny, granny! I learned the 'f' word at school yesterday." Pretending she did not hear, she did not respond. The boy would not give up. "Granny, I know the 'f' word now." Eventually my sister gave in and fearing the outcome asked what the 'f' word was. Her grandson beamed and said "Shit!" Although relieved, the logic of that comment defeated her!

[Marsilius]

From Brief lives by John Aubrey (1626-1697):

This Earle of Oxford, making of his low obeisance to Queen Elizabeth [I], happened to let a Fart, at which he was so abashed and ashamed that he went to Travell, 7 yeares. On his returne the Queen welcomed him home, and sayd, My Lord, I had forgott the Fart.

[fountainhall]

And talking of royalty, this sequence purports to show a massive fart on the balcony of Buckingham Palace. The Duke of Edinburgh has allegedly just let rip, with the following result. Her Majesty maintains her dignity. No doubt she'd smelled it all before :yahoo_mini: :yahoo_mini:

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