Are there any successful stories regarding the relationships between Thai and Farang

[andyrose]

First, I couldn’t access into my old account for some reasons. It kept saying “you have entered an invalid user name or password” so many times. I really didn’t know what was wrong. Therefore, I decided to sign up a new account.

O.k. let’s get to the point of the thread.

I mean the successful stories that you guys could take your boyfriend to your country. Are you still together now?
Mine was successful in the beginning in term of visa and being together as a common law partner. I became a permanent resident of Canada because of that. Even though we separated later, but we managed to live together for 5 years.
I would love to hear about your stories.
:):yahoo_mini:


I would like to mention that I have signed up with the face book account not long ago; and I post my photos in my album. If anyone would like to chat with me anything over there; please be my guest.

https://www.facebook.com/andykellyrose

[fountainhall]

I can't beat 5 years, but I have several Farang/Thai friends who have been together for over 10 years - one couple for 13 years who live in Bangkok and the other 19 years now living in London. Several more couples are in the 5 to 10 years bracket.

I always reckoned age could make a major difference when it comes to a relationship lasting. Yet the two couples mentioned above have age differences of 35 and 27 years respectively.

[Surfcrest]

You were andygala before. I can provide whatever assistance you need to fix this all up for you.
Just send me a PM or an email surfcrest@hotmail.com

Surfcrest

[andyrose]

Thank you for your kindness Surfcrest.
Yes, that's right I was andygala before, but I couldn't sign in that account anymore as I mentioned earlier.

Well, is it o.k. for me to use this account now?

[cdnmatt]

I was in a 3.5 year relationship with a Thai before, but I would only really consider the first year an actual relationship. The rest was more less a living nightmare.

I know one gay couple here who have been together I think 9 years now, have been to Australia multiple times together (no permanent residency status though), and seem quite happy together. There's quite the age difference, and I think it's more of a father / son relationship these days, but nonetheless, they're both happy with the arrangement.

With a new guy now, I think, or don't really know. I guess we're in a relationship, but my health issues prevent us from actually living it. I don't know, I'm not too concerned about it, as we get on great, and both seem happy with how things are going. No idea what the future holds, but sure, assuming I can get myself healthy again, he's someone I can see myself with for a long time, and I know he's thinking the same thing. There's not many people I can live with, but with him I'm fine, and am 100% perfectly comfortable.

Only two issues with him are, a) there's a 13 year age difference, but the more time he spends living here, the more I think, "who cares?", and b) he's from Laos and his parents are in their late 50s, so were alive for the Vietnam war, hence aren't too fond of farangs. From the sounds of things, definitely not fond of the idea of their son shacking up with one, so not sure how that would play out.

[Smiles]

To be short and sweet regarding this topic: I met Suphot while on holidays in 2000 ... but it was my last night in Bangkok (i.e. hardly any time to know anything) . I came back to see him a few months later because I "felt something". I then kept coming back to Thailand on holidays until 2007 ... but in fact, by 2004 we had both acknowledged a couple-dom. I retired in 2007, immediately flew to Thailand and we have been shacked up now for 9 years. So do the math: we've been successfully 'together' now in heart and mind for 16 years.

When we first met he was 31 and I was 53. Now, he's 47 and I am 69. His waist measurement in 2000 was 29 inch and mine was 33 inch ... now for him, it's 33 inch and I am 36 (to my chagrin.)

The OP wrote something about 'success' being measured by taking your Thai boyfriend back to your home country. Well ... I never have given a thought to such an event. I love living in this weird and chaotic country and going back to live in white bread/white picket fence Canada is hardly given thought to. And he is not needy regarding such things. He's a Thai through and through and I doubt he would be at all happy anywhere else.

Still going strong. He's by far the most easy-going man I have ever had the joy to know: low maintenance to a fault. Ridiculously honest (against all the cliches about Thai guys that have been written on these message boards for years), almost always has a smile on his face, and, most importantly, he has been able to put up with me all these years.

[Oliver]

Twelve years since we met at Lucky Seven. Many worries and not just financial ones....but he's the only one. We'll be in Chiang Mai in a few weeks, Luang Prabang in February and the Gili Islands (near Lombok) in June....variety and respecting each other's space have been crucial.

[francois]

Only two issues with him are, a) there's a 13 year age difference, but the more time he spends living here, the more I think, "who cares?",

So, he is either about 48 or 22 years old all depending on your age which is mid 30s as posted.. So why would either be a problem?

[Up2U]

8 years for me and I know couples much longer than that, but none of us meet the op's condition of returning and living in our home countries. I do know several cases where the Thai has relocated to America and the couples got married there and are living happily there.

[cdnmatt]

So, he is either about 48 or 22 years old all depending on your age which is mid 30s as posted.. So why would either be a problem?

Yeah, early 20s. Nothing wrong with that, except back when I was active on the gay apps and chatting with people, I was hoping for more of an equal, not a dependent. You know, someone who's been through the ups and downs of life already, has a good job, place to live, etc. Whereas he's still quite new to life, so a little dangerous getting involved in a relationship.

Nonetheless, the more time we spend together, the more we seem to realize we're a good fit for each other, so I don't think either of us have a choice in the matter now. Just enjoy the ride, and see where it takes us. Thankfully, going into this one I know I won't get hurt like the last one. He's just not the type.

[francois]

14 years with the bf although, until recently, mostly for a couple of months twice/year but now long term. No thought of going to my home country with him. Although a large gap in age not a problem with his parents since they died tragically shortly before we partnered.

I have heard some success stories of farang taking their bfs home but also know of others that failed rather badly.

[Nirish guy]

Still going strong. He's by far the most easy-going man I have ever had the joy to know: low maintenance to a fault. Ridiculously honest (against all the cliches about Thai guys that have been written on these message boards for years), almost always has a smile on his face, and, most importantly, he has been able to put up with me all these years.

What nice and loving things to be able to say about your partner. should print this off and let him read it Smiles, I'm sure it would make his day to hear it.

[Smiles]

A post/poll from the past (2009 to be specific) vaguely regarding the various constructs of 'relationship-ism' and Thai guys.
It starts off with The Butterfly (et al) and ends with a myriad of types ~ and subsets of types ~ of the dreaded/scary Long Term adventurists. And everything in between. The bottom line is 'happiness', but that may well be simply naive. Frankly, some folks just love to shag, and that's about it.

http://sawatdeenetwork.com/v4/showthread.php?9055-What-s-my-box (The poll results are still there to be perused)

[TaoR]

Being new I feel kind of out of place on this one but here goes.

I left Bangkok for the last time in 1985. I was returning to the United States to start graduate school and I planned on returning to Thailand in 1987 by using my Pan Am miles. Well Pan Am went bust and I fell in love with a Chinese guy who was a refugee from Laos.

We have been together for 30 years and I am only 2 years older than him.

Then, during, whatever, I had a 10 year affair with a Cambodian guy who was 20 years younger than I was. His family were refugees also.

In 1987 I called my buddy in Thailand, he had just finished his military service and I told him about AIDS and how he couldn't go back to working in the bars. I told him to go to college and I sent him money for that.

He remains a friend still today. Because he watched lots of his friends, including his cousin, die from Aids...so in his mind he owes me big time. That is why we are still friends after all this time.

I am going back to Thailand next year and we are going to "hang out." Since my Chinese partner has been to Thailand/Laos twice without me so I get one really long trip.

I told my Thai buddy that I wasn't flying all the way to Bangkok to have sex with a 53 year old married Thai man and he just laughed and said, "Oh, some boy get lucky and have sex with an old farang!" :)

Gee...I sound like such a whore....

[Davey612]

What is his name? Dodger? If I recall he kept falling in love with every guy he met. Didn't he finally settle down the road close to you Smiles?

[justaguy]

I am in a relationship with a Lao bloke for over 12 years now, does that count ?

He lives with me in NL for the past 10 years, 7 years on a permanent basis.

Generally speaking we are in a good relationship, age difference is 6 years and if the relationship does go sour, it would be my fault as I have been a bit of a naughty boy..

[andyrose]

Thank you for sharing your stories guys.

Personally, I don’t think age difference is really matter, or a big deal as long as you like each other.

My first live-in American boyfriend was 62 years old,and I was barely 22.

My second live-in boyfriend was German and he was like 35 years older than me. My Canadian common law partner that I was with him for 5 years; he was almost 30 years older than me.

Are there any of you guys having problems with the immigration? I mean you really love your Thai boyfriend; but you couldn’t bring him to your country. It’s either the immigration in your country didn’t believe in your relationship with young Thai boy; or you didn’t have enough evidence to support you case. As a result of that, they turned you down.

[Smiles]

What nice and loving things to be able to say about your partner. should print this off and let him read it Smiles, I'm sure it would make his day to hear it.
Thank you Nirish. I will take your advice regarding printing it off, then keep it in abeyance for one of our classic, every-three-years, blowup. Then I'll pull it out and shove it in his face. Na na na ... I win. :beee:

[scottish-guy]

Are there any of you guys having problems with the immigration? I mean you really love your Thai boyfriend; but you couldn’t bring him to your country. It’s either the immigration in your country didn’t believe in your relationship with young Thai boy; or you didn’t have enough evidence to support you case. As a result of that, they turned you down.

BINGO! BF turned down by UK immigration for a Student Visitor Visa about 3 or 4 years ago now for exactly the reasons you give - simply did not accept I had any relationship with him and despite what evidence I could provide (who the fuck writes letters to each other these days it's all instant messaging), despite sworn statements from friends who had been on holiday with us, despite evidence of ongoing financial support, dammit I even had to send details of my house title deeds and car registration document, we got knocked back with no right of appeal.

Apart from anything else it cost me hundreds of non refundable pounds because of course every submission had to be notarized .

Went to my MP and he wrote a letter but 3 or 4yrs later he hasn't even had the courtesy of a reply from the Home Office. Mind you he got chucked out last May so I might try to resurrect it - they can't say there's no evidence of a relationship they were informed about several years ago!!

Having said that I've now scaled back on my work so much that I wouldn't meet the new criteria for supporting anybody but it might be worth a try for a general visitor visa

Utter cunts.

[2lz2p]

I met by bf in December 1992 - he was 23 and I was 49. We had a long distance relationship for 10 years with me visiting twice a year. Upon retirement, I moved here in November 2002 - my big concern was whether we would be compatible living together on a full time basis. We are still living together. When I moved here, I knew that trying to get a USA visa for a Thai was not an easy process and most likely a visa would not be granted. Now, since same sex marriage is the "law of the land," it is possible that a Marriage Visa could be obtained -- But, I really have no desire to return to USA - even with inflation here and loss of value in the $ vs Baht, we can live more comfortably here. I haven't been back to USA since 2008 as I have no compelling reason to go back.

[scottish-guy]

Can I ask where you married your bf? If it was outside the USA is your marriage legally recognized by the US authorities?

Many categories of UK visa now have a clause that the holder is not allowed to marry whilst in the UK so any idea of getting your bf in as a visitor and marrying in the UK is a non starter.

My circumstance us that if I married my bf in Vietnam where he comes from, although Vietnam allows gay marriage it is still not legally recognized by the authorities - and my understanding is that as such the UK would not recognize its validity.

I'm keen not to derail the thread - but the OP had specifically asked about bringing your BF to your home country and difficulties encountered

[bobsaigon2]

Right now, the only country in the Asia-Pacific region that allows gay marriage is New Zealand and that would be recognized by immigration authorities in the US and presumably in the UK. Vietnam allows a gay couple to officially co-habit (listed on the same Household Register), and they can obtain permission to hold a wedding reception, but there is no legally sanctioned gay marriage in Vietnam (or Thailand or elsewhere in SE Asia).

[scottish-guy]

Thanks Bob that's more or less the situation I had envisaged.

I've decided I'm going to go pursue the issue along the lines of attempting to get my BF at least a visitor visa and expect to get a letter of support from my MP once I have related the unacceptable circumstances of a 3 or 4 year delay in getting a response from the Home Office.

However, it seems the Home Office is a law unto itself and beyond any scrutiny. I guess this is what happens when you have a Government so weak it has to pander to a bunch of xenophobic loudmouths within its own ranks, within UKIP, and within the national press.

[Khor tose]

Me 71, he 35, but together for 7+ years and by November married for two years. I DID take him to live in the US. WHY? More opportunity, and an American passport should he return to Thailand on my death. If he returns to Thailand the American passport will give him some protection from whatever General is in charge. However, the main reason is that I like to travel. As an American he can go almost anywhere without me having to fill out 100 pages of forms. By the way his passport and a green card works most places now. One interesting result of his coming to America is that he has become much more confident in himself. He was scared at first, but now he is telling me how things work here!!! His English was good, but now it is excellent which allows him to be part of the larger world where English is the common tongue (no offense). So far it is working out well for us, and I have no regrets about bringing him here to America

[Dodger]

What is his name? Dodger? If I recall he kept falling in love with every guy he met. Didn't he finally settle down the road close to you Smiles?

Hey there...that's simply not true.

There have been loads of guys who I haven't fallen in love with. For instance there was this really cute guy who worked the Duncan Donuts booth at Big C who I used to talk to all the time. We became good friends, but I really don't recall falling in love with him...at least I don't think I did. Then there was Mik who used to work at Good Boys GoGo Bar who had the largest cock I have ever to-this-day laid my eyes upon. In all honesty I can't even remember what his faced looked like...I don't think I ever looked at his face...but remember distinctly that I never fell in love with him. I was trying believe me, but I guess the magic just wasn't there.

Like many here, I have been with countless boys, fallen head-over-heels for dozens of them and don't plan on stopping any time soon. I have a live-in Thai partner now...together for about 3 years...stopped planning ahead...live for the moment...he's almost as big as Mik...and doesn't get upset when I visit Duncan Donuts...I'm in love again!

[a447]

I always thought that chain of donut stores was American. Apparently, it's Scottish! Who would a thunk! Lol

[mahjongguy]

My Thai partner and I have lived together for 11 years. Early on, I took him for a short visit to San Francisco and Tahoe. There was no agenda, just something memorable for his birthday.

He wasn't much impressed. Everything was so subdued compared to Bangkok. And he could not enjoy the food. In fact, I thought he might starve before we got back to Thailand.

So, although we could now get married and that would definitely be beneficial for him, it would require spending several years in the States. That would be punishing for him and probably for me as well, so it's not gonna happen. It's fine with me, and he's grateful that I haven't made an issue of it.

[fountainhall]

there is no legally sanctioned gay marriage in Vietnam (or Thailand or elsewhere in SE Asia).
That's correct, but Taiwan now recognises same-sex couples and a gay marriage Bill is finally due to be debated in December. One condition is that one of the partners must be Taiwanese. A poll carried out by the Ministry of Justice over three months a year ago found that 71% are in favour of gay marriage.

[a447]

A wise decision, mahjongguy.

Over the years I've met lots of guys -mainly European -who have taken their bf back to their home countries, only to find them miserable and dying to return to Thailand. Apparently, the two biggest problems are the food and loneliness. They can't eat the European food (I'm with them there!) and they can't make friends their own age because they don't speak the language. Also, I get the feeling some farang are way too controlling and do not give their bf a chance to live his own life within the relationship,

Warning! Gross generalisation ahead!

Westerners find it easier to adapt to other cultures because they are not burdened by the deep tradtion and age-old customs of Asian countries. We find it easier to just "go with the flow."

Just a thought, based on my own upbringing.

[cdnmatt]

Westerners find it easier to adapt to other cultures because they are not burdened by the deep tradtion and age-old customs of Asian countries. We find it easier to just "go with the flow."

Agreed mostly, except somewhat in the opposite way. I think it's mainly due to the fact that most of us grow up in very large multi-cultural societies. When we were kids, we were eating our own country's dishes, plus everything else... Chinese, Turkish kabobs, pizza & pasta, soulvaki, Japanese, Mexican, French, etc. So for us, it's what we grew up with.

Same goes for assimilating into another culture, although this can be very difficult even for farangs. From a young age we're exposed to tons of different cultures, and are (generally) taught all cultures are equal, none are better or worse than the other.

[Oliver]

Removing a Thai from family and friends is a serious error in many cases and it's not just those who go to live in other countries who suffer. My evidence is anecdotal but I've met a number of Thais who were given a comfortable life-style in Thailand and walked away from on its relative wealth because their boyfriends were too controlling. I can think of two who were expected to live as old-fashioned wives, restricted to the house/apartment and denied access to Thai friends.
As I posted earlier, Thai/falang relationships are more likely to be long-lasting if each party is given space.

[Smiles]

" ... and walked away from on its relative wealth because their boyfriends were too controlling. I can think of two who were expected to live as old-fashioned wives, restricted to the house/apartment and denied access to Thai friends ... "
Exactly. There's a western three-word phrase which covers this kind of controlling personality: "HABITUAL TIGHT ASS"
Being such a dork almost always guarantees failure of the relationship. (Although I doubt the word 'relationship' truly applies to such an authoritarian compact)

[cdnmatt]

I don't get it, why would people even attempt that? How is it even enjoyable living with a partner who is miserable all the time?

[Couple]

Removing a Thai from family and friends is a serious error in many cases and it's not just those who go to live in other countries who suffer. My evidence is anecdotal but I've met a number of Thais who were given a comfortable life-style in Thailand and walked away from on its relative wealth because their boyfriends were too controlling. I can think of two who were expected to live as old-fashioned wives, restricted to the house/apartment and denied access to Thai friends.
As I posted earlier, Thai/falang relationships are more likely to be long-lasting if each party is given space.

I don't think this is only the case for Thai but in every relation, even if both farang. When you don't both have some freedom and own friends, no relation will keep on going.
And when you are lucky, you can get to learn each other friends and do things together also. I got to learn a lot of my boyfriend's friends and we do out all together a lot and have the greatest times. And often when I say you go with them I stay home, have a good time with them, he or them make me join the club.

It's all about respect and love for each other.

[francois]

It's all about respect and love for each other.

Until the money runs out.:devilsh:

[Couple]

Not what I experienced and be sure, I'm not the one paying all bills when we go out with his friends, each has his turn to pay a bill and when I paid a more fancy and expensive meal, they say they pay twice or give me some money to make up for the difference.
I have to say in all honesty that I'm not taken advantage of.
And of course I pay more often than them, but they always say no no it's not your turn to pay, one of use will do.

I think if you show equal respect and the friendship is strong, it all goes much smoother than we often would expect.

[fountainhall]

Until the money runs out.:devilsh:
Why are we always so cynical! I mentioned two couples in an earlier post. Those that live in London both have good jobs and each contributes to the annual budget. Here in Bangkok, it's the Thai who earns more than the farang having started his own business on leaving school at 15. And I should add the farang is pretty wealthy in his own right. Not all Thais in relationships were money boys or even went near a go-go bar,

[francois]

Why are we always so cynical! ,

Not being cynical, just realistic. Yes, there are exceptions but, in reality, if the farang were to lose his financial resources, his Thai bf would be unable to support both of them. Reality is they are with us in the first place because we offer them financial security. Nothing wrong with that.

[Brad the Impala]

Many categories of UK visa now have a clause that the holder is not allowed to marry whilst in the UK so any idea of getting your bf in as a visitor and marrying in the UK is a non starter.



There is a specific visa for couples wanting to marry or register a Civil Partnership in the UK. Called, unsurprisingly, The Marriage Visitor Visa. You have to demonstrate that you are not just using it as a backdoor to a longer term residence, and that the visitor will leave at the end of the period, but it gives the visitor a six months visa for the UK.

It costs about a hundred pounds and you should get an answer within three weeks.

[a447]

I think guys who work in the sex industry hook up with farang for mainly financial reasons, so I'm with Francois on this.

But there are surely lots of Thais who are not in the sex industry (and maybe some who are) who actually fall in love with their farang.

[Surfcrest]

In Vancouver, I know of several Thai's here with their Vancouver partners in long term relationships. Sometimes you can tell there's quite a difference in age and sometimes not. Some of the Thai guys are getting on in years themselves. There is a fair size Thai community here now and so the younger ones have younger boyfriends.

Most of my western friends that I've known from Thailand have moved to Thailand permanently. Some of them have been in a relationship with one or more for nearly 20 years, where some of my other friends have changed it up every 5 years or so. Everybody is different.

My partner isn't Thai, but I met him 20 years ago next week on his 24th birthday shortly after immigrating to Canada from Hong Kong. He's 10 years younger than me and has substantially more money. He lives in his own home near his office and I live down at the beach close to my office...and that, has been why we've lasted so many years. LOL

Surfcrest

[andyrose]

BINGO! BF turned down by UK immigration for a Student Visitor Visa about 3 or 4 years ago now for exactly the reasons you give - simply did not accept I had any relationship with him and despite what evidence I could provide (who the fuck writes letters to each other these days it's all instant messaging), despite sworn statements from friends who had been on holiday with us, despite evidence of ongoing financial support, dammit I even had to send details of my house title deeds and car registration document, we got knocked back with no right of appeal.

Sorry to hear that.
I believe the burden of proof is on you. And you must know that there is a marriage fraud. I don’t mean in your case; I mean in general.

The CIC is well aware of that and I guess the immigration of first world country is also aware of it as well.
http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/information/protection/fraud/marriage.asp

Why did you apply for a student visitor visa anyway?
Why didn’t you apply for a same sex relationship visa if he was your boyfriend? I believe same-sex relationship in UK was already legal at that time, right?

[andyrose]

Can I ask where you married your bf? If it was outside the USA is your marriage legally recognized by the US authorities?

I married my boyfriend in Toronto Canada. What happened was I broke off with my Canadian partner in 2010; and I married a Dutch guy in 2012. I relocated from Canada to Europe in 2013, but it didn’t work out. We were not compatible living together on a full time basis. I decided to return back to Canada.

To be honest, I don’t know if my marriage legally recognized by the US authorities or not. As I am a Thai person; I know for sure that my marriage is not recognized by the Thai authorities.

[andyrose]

Me 71, he 35, but together for 7+ years and by November married for two years. I DID take him to live in the US. WHY? More opportunity, and an American passport should he return to Thailand on my death. If he returns to Thailand the American passport will give him some protection from whatever General is in charge.

It's very nice of you, I wish both of you luck.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the way,

OMG, I didn’t even know that same-sex marriage is legal now in federal level in the states. I read some post of you guys and I wondered. So I went for searching in google and I found this.
https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/question-green-card-sponsor-partner-28055.html

Well, congratulations the USA.

[kkjason]

I met my now Thai husband in Bangkok in 2008 and we have been together ever since. Ironically, like Smiles, it was on the last night of one of my visits there. I immediately felt that connection, returned to America to settle some things, and returned 3 months later where he moved in with me. We lived in Bangkok for a year, and then moved to Khon Kaen where we now own a house together, are very active in the social scene, are well accepted by straight and gay couples alike, farang and Thai, so life really couldn't be better. He is only 5 years younger than me, has a family that is not after any money, etc. Two years ago we got him a marriage visa to America where we are now on our second year of his three year residency requirement to get citizenship. We are able to return to Thailand every 3 months for 3 months, so it is a cool little schedule that we can live with. Even in America we have adapted to life together, have our regular handouts where people know us. etc. I think the key is to enjoy life together, as others have said, and not to have a long distance relationship. After 8 years of living together, if we weren't compatible, we would know it already. I work at home, so we are together most of every day and love it. He is truly my best friend - and that is help immensely as well. Hope that answers your question. I know quite a few successful partnerships that have lasted decades, and some that have broken up miserably after 8-10 years together. It is much the same as with any relationship, however, so you must just go with the flow.

[kkjason]

Actually - you might want to check. The Thai Consulate in Los Angeles does issue a marriage visa to an American who is in a legal marriage in the United States, as long as the Thai owns property in Thailand. As you are Thai, that might not apply, but it seems that the Thai Consulate is willing to now accept that a same sex Thai national is married, as long as it is a country where it's officially recognized. I am obviously not a lawyer, so I hope that makes sense as written - Cheers -