Thai Lion Air BKK to Phuket 600B One-Way

[scottish-guy]

This must rank as one of the best deals I've ever secured - a 1.45pm departure from DMK including a checked bag up to 15kg + hand luggage = 600B inclusive of no frills airline stealth charges.

Their booking website gave me some problems using iPad but worked fine on iPhone for some strange reason

More later

[arsenal]

At that price they're going to do a roaring trade, is that their mane route? I am fucking hilarious, am I not?

[scottish-guy]

Well I found nothing to growl about :p

The plane appeared to be a brand new 737-800 - so with 6 seats across it was not spacious but neither is Emirates!

The check-in and boarding was very efficient and the flight departed and arrived bang on time - which let's face it is really all you want.

A free snack comprising of a waffle wafer type biscuit with chocolate filling and a small tub of water is included in the fare. The 737 is a noisy plane and we were seated almost level with an engine so maybe we got more noise than others. The point is - I'm sure an announcement was made that hot drinks etc were available for purchase (but I couldn't hear clearly because of accent and noise) and a cart passed at high speed but nobody bought anything probably because the menus hadnt been put in the seat pockets so nobody knew what was available - but for a short flight not a big issue.

The inflight magazine was highly amusing. It's 75% in Thai with just a couple of articles in English.

The article which tickled my fancy was one about "how to prepare for the flight" and must scare the shit out of inexperienced flyers:
If begins by gleefully letting you know that 80% of crashes happen at take off or landing (cheerful stuff), then goes on to advise you to visualise yourself escaping from the sinking/crashing/burning plane in order that you'll be able to plan your escape. It advises you not to self-medicate with a "stiff drink" so that you'll keep a "cool head" whilst the chaos erupts around you and then goes on to advise you NOT to wear shorts, short-sleeved shirt,or sandals (all of which I was wearing) in order to improve your "survivabilty" on the sinking/crashing/burning plane.

The best and most cheerful piece of advice was not to wear synthetic clothes as they will melt in the fireball and stick to you - followed by advice that "women should not wear pantyhose" - presumably because they'd stick to your fanny in the inferno?

So, I chuckled through the flight and there were no hitches.

Certainly recommend anybody travelling to Phuket checks them out.

[arsenal]

Well we'll see if you survive the return journey first.

[scottish-guy]

Oh I may not come back with Thai Lion - I'll just pick best price at the time (nothing booked yet) - for such a short trip I don't see any point in paying more than necessary

[Nirish guy]

not that you're even there in the first place mind and now sitting in Scotland surfing sky scanner to find pricing - pathetic man, just pathetic ! :-)

[arsenal]

Absolutely right NIrish. It's like Beachlover has returned from the dead with his posts of fantasy.

[scottish-guy]

3993

I recommend the bacon rolls by the way - but rather disappointed that Irn Bru and deep fried Mars bars are not available in a Scottish-owned establishment

[Nirish guy]

Ha Coke and Bacon Rolls, I see you're just like me in that you love going to Thailand to enjoy all that lovely Thai food that one hears about so often too :-)

My cafe there does a great line in Thai cheese and ham toasties, it being Thai as he sets a lettuce leaf on top of it as he brings it over ( which of course being the philistine that I am I immediately remove as I wouldn't eat any of 'that foreign muck" :-)

[scottish-guy]

Nooooo - the situation is that since arriving I've been forced to eat all the foreign muck by my BF (oh wait, that sounds disgustingly sexual :lol:) and this visit to a Scottish bar was my attempt at "getting even" by forcing him to eat a bacon roll.

Plus, look more closely - a coke (him) and a Singha beer (me) - so at least there was something Thai in my lunch :p

He wasn't impressed with a bacon roll btw

[Nirish guy]

OMG its bad enough you're trying to fool us into believing you're in Thailand but now you want us to believe you have a regular BF with you too ! OMG you'll be trying to get us to believe you've been with him for years now and he's from vietnam or something and just joining you there for a holiday, my god man give it up, you're fooling no one as Mini Me is already on the phone to your guest house asking that DNA samples to be sent immediately from your "alleged" room for scientific analysis !

Hell just be happy that other people still aren't about or they'd have been sending their heavies round to sort you out ! Maybe Beachy was right in not posting his hotel room pics in case any details could be used against him ! Still, considering you're ACTUALLY sitting in some dingy cafe in Sauchiehall Street using their free wifi and making their "free refill" coffee last you four hours I guess you'll not care much anyways. :-)

[arsenal]

Don't be so ridiculous NIrish. As if you'd get a free coffee refill in Scotland where, according to Billy Connolly copper wire was invented by two Scotsmen fighting over a penny piece.

[loke]

"A free snack comprising of a waffle wafer type biscuit with chocolate filling and a small tub of water is included in the fare."

In some countries you have to pay 600 baht for that . :)

[scottish-guy]

Indeed - I believe British Airways have recently started charging for snacks and refreshments on their short haul flights, whereas one used to get a "free" drink and a Packet of crisps/nuts/biscuit

Given that I've frequently paid £200-300 for a 1hr return flight to London, they're taking the piss - but as they have a near monopoly into LHR and LGW whilst the budget carriers are mostly restricted to LTN and STN, they can seemingly do whatever they want without fear of losing business