Vignettes

[arsenal]

I thought I'd start a thread for any little stories you might have about your trips to Thailand.

Sitting in Corner Bar late one evening an exceedingly mature gentleman returned with his offed boy in tow. He complained to Gary (the then owner) that the boy wouldn't even remove his underwear. He was (reluctantly) given the off fee back. Off he went. Gary then turned to me and said
"He's in his eighties and the boy's just 18. What did either of them expect!" Brilliant.

[cdnmatt]

This is probably one of my most memorable moments in a bar. It was at... I can't remember the name... Jimmy Jack James (that's not right), or something? In Sunee Plaza, I'm sure one all?) of you know it.

There was a slim, white bald guy there, probably about 40yo. I'd like to say just drunk, but I'm assuming more than alcohol in his system. Proceeds to act like a king, calls boys over one by one, has them sit in his lap, puts his ankles behind theirs so to lift their feet off the ground. Dry humps them for a bit,then pushes them away as if they're not good enough, without even a 20 baht tip.

After a while, gets into a conversation with the mamasam, who seemed like a really nice guy to me. He decides it's a good idea to start yelling with things like, "Maybe I don't want sex! If I want a massage, I get a massage! If I want sex, I get sex! Do you understand that? IT'S UP TO ME!". I'm just sitting there quietly having a beer, wondering what the hell it is he's yelling so loudly about. You could always just talk, and it would be fine.

[Doug]

Thailand never fails to surprise. What seems the status quo is suddenly thrown out the window.

One night too many years ago, as has become the norm, I was having a drink outside JimJimmyJames with the SatinDoll where he works as a doorman. I had had an inexpensive day thus I was planning to off him for a shorttime (off fee Bt400 - yikes). The night was very hot and humid and the smell of a storm was in the air.

All of a sudden a familiar voice yelled, "Hi Duk". Out of the heat came the hottest, most handsome boy in Pattaya. The BoyGod looked wonderful and now he was sitting next to me clutching my thigh with a huge grin on his face. His hair was back to the wild, black mass with great swirls that framed he beautiful face and twinkling eyes. All of the 2 frustrating months of him ignoring me melted away and I felt a familiar stirring. There was not one word spoken about that dark time.

Then I felt a soft hand massaged my other leg as a quiet reminder that someone special, someone loyal beyond a fault, someone who brought such joy to my life not just in bed but in much of my waking hours, was sitting next to me with a concerned look on his sweet face. There I was, the most handsome, sensual boy on one side and the most beautiful, loving boy on the other. As a butterfly this was a dream come true for me but as quickly as that thought entered my mind, it was trumped by the conviction that the SatinDoll had become more than a butterfly's desire and really there was no choice.

I am thrilled to been on good terms with the BoyGod and I hope we can have many fun times together but the page has turned on any thoughts of bedding him again in the near future. We all drank together, got caught up on what's been happening and then the BoyGod went inside to "dance". I paid Neung's off and the 2 of us walked down the soi with his hand holding mine with an extra, trusting strength.

The air was still humid but the threat of foul weather seemed to have passed.

[Chuai-Duai]

Many years ago I was a regular at “Gentlemen’s Club”. I returned to the bar after a year’s absence and asked about “Bee” who I was anxious to see again. “Oh the Ladyboy” the owner said. “No” I replied, as I had no interest in Ladyboys. Then Bee appeared down the spiral staircase at the back. He had long hair and a pair of breasts! A year on the hormones had been very successful if that’s what you wanted but he was no longer attractive to me. I offed him for old times sake but didn’t see him again after that.

[MiniMee]

In Hot Male a year or two ago one of the boys who was a quite distinctive ‘luk krueng’ (half Thai, half Afro-American) managed to seduce a hetro couple into offing him and entertained the whole bar in the process.The hetro couple, who also looked to be Afro-American, entered and sat down, giving off clear body language signals that they were quite uncomfortable in this gay bar environment, but were allowing the wife to have a look at the boys, probably in exchange for the husband taking a look inside a girly bar. Many readers here will probably remember the luk-krueng boy since he was very camp and physically effeminate with a large curvaceous body and even larger curved cock! The boy clearly took a shine to the husband and his wife was clearly intrigued by the boy. He stood on stage right in front of them and quickly massaged his cock into an engorged state, which caused a lot of embarrassment all around. The husband didn’t know where to look, but the wife couldn’t tear her eyes away, whilst trying to suppress embarrassed giggles. She poked her husband in the ribs and gestured as if to say ‘why isn’t yours that big?’ All the boys and all the other customers in the bar saw what was going on and enjoyed this new show! Luk-krueng invited himself to sit between the couple and tried to get the husband to put his hand in his pants, but without success, but the wife readily had a good grope. Luk-krueng jumped back onto the stage and flopped his ten-inch semi out, which had the whole bar in laughter watching the fixed attention now from both wife and husband. He then joined them back on the seat by which time they had both relaxed and, in very good humour, bought the boy a drink and cuddled and petted him. Half an hour or so later they paid the off fee and left with the boy leading them along. I have no idea what services were provided by the camp Khun Luk-Kreung back at the hotel, but he was clearly a pro and no doubt gave them both an experience to remember.Only in Thailand.

[Doug]

Apartment Decorating Faux Pas

When I first moved into my new apartment a year ago, a lovely boy named Jay moved in also. He was a great kid and was excited as I was to participate in decorating the one room studio. Every time either of us went out, we usually came home with something for the place. One time he returned with 2 beautiful candles for the headboard shelf. This went on for a couple of weeks.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v345/siamboy/MLNA0010_zps1eqmt2cb.jpg (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/siamboy/media/MLNA0010_zps1eqmt2cb.jpg.html)

I know almost every Thai home has a picture of the king prominently displayed. I down loaded several picture of the king relating to his people. I bought a frame to mount a collage of the pictures. Jay walked in as I was about to crop some of the pictures to better fit their place in the frame. He was horrified. "Can not cut pictures of king". I tried to explain that I wasn't cutting the king, only extraneous things. One of those extraneous things, Jay pointed out, happened to be the queen. I waited until he wasn't around to crop the pictures and, later, he was very happy with the result but not where I put the frame, high up beside the front door. "What's wrong", I asked. "King looking into toilet" The frame was facing the doorway to the washroom and that was not good. We moved the picture.

A few nights later Jay seemed distant - not his usual free expression self. No sex that night. Nor the next. The following night I was a little insistent. He cuddled and as I lowered his briefs he pulled the sheet over us. He did the same the next night as if he was shy or embarrassed of his nakedness. Finally I asked him what's wrong. He pointed to the little golden Buddha I had bought and placed on the high shelf opposite the bed. "Buddha watching!" I got up and moved the Buddha to a place where he couldn't see the bed and all was right with the world.

Getting to know Thai beliefs and customs is a wonderful journey.

[fountainhall]

Getting to know Thai beliefs and customs is a wonderful journey.
But often a maddening one!!

[a447]

My first trip to Thailand was in the early nineties (1992?) when I dropped in to Chiang Mai on the way back to Japan from Europe. I had a few days off and decided to go to CM as a friend told me how beautiful it was. He also told me about some gay bars around the night market. I just had to go and see for myself. I stayed at the Dusit hotel next to the market.

Wandering around the market looking for the bars I was suddenly accosted by a young guy. OMG! He was absolutely gorgeous. Instant hard-on.

I had no idea he was gay - I just thought that he maybe wanted to practise his English, something that happened to me just about every day in Japan. He asked me where I was staying and next thing I know, he's suggesting he come to my room for sex. WTF??

In Japan I was used to availing myself of the short-term hotels called "tsurekomi" but the Dusit was a proper hotel and there was no way I could take a guy back to my room - well, that was what I thought back then.

So he suggested we go to his house. I told him I didn't want to ride on a motorbike, especially without a helmet. Way too dangerous. Sorry!

"I want have sex. Have big cock. Sure."

I got on the back of his motorbike and off we went. What I didn't know is that he lived way out in the country and it took close to an hour to get there. As I sat on the back I put my hands up his t-shirt and also spent a lot of time groping him. Yep, he really did have a big cock!

We enjoyed an incredible night of passion and I fucked him numerous times. He took me back to the hotel late the next day. I got his phone number and told him I'd be back. I didn't give him my number as I was living in a company apartment and was to afraid in case he rang and someone else picked up the phone.

Unfortunately, I lost his phone number. Over the next year or so I dropped into CM many times and wandered around the market looking for him. But I never met him again.

So I kind of gave up on Thailand until I re-discovered it in the early 2000s. Over the following years since I've been fortunate enough to meet many, many guys like him. He wasn't a one-off as I first thought. Thailand is overflowing with lovely, sexy, hung guys. These days, of course, I pay for the privilege.

I've visited CM a number of times over the past decade. I love the guys at Adam's Apple and have also had some fantastic massages there, too. I find CM a pleasant change from Bkk and Pattaya. The gay scene there is quite subdued but I've always managed to enjoy myself. And those hot, hung Shan guys!! OMG!

Apart from Adams there are a few other bars but they don't do it for me. They aren't really gogo bars. On the occasions I've visited I've been the only customer, whereas Adams is always full.

Pattaya is in decline but there is still heaps is fun to be had there. I don't need heaps of bars. I don't care if many of the old places have gone. There's still enough choice. I just need to go to one and find a nice guy to spend my holiday with.

It looks like I missed out on lots of fun in the 80s and 90s. But I'm doing my best now to make up for it!

[homeseeker]

Some years back at a well known gym I met and became friends with a straight bloke who for current purposes I will call Joey.
He was mid 60's but I learnt later learnt he was actually 10 years older. He had spent most of his life working and after he retired with what he had saved, plus his pension and monies from an inheritance.
He settled to live in Pattaya.
Joey was a bit lonely and did not care for the bars but he often walked along Beach Road for the ladies.
He met one called Nong, whose English not very good but she was youngish in her 20's and quite a catch for Joey.
Eventually Joey and Nong lived together.
Her English improved and she soon realized that Joey was smitten.
He bought a house and car (both in her name) for her as well as furniture, electrical goods et al and many other things.
"Loans" were given to Nongs relatives.
I dubbed Joey the 6 million dollar (baht) man.
Eventually and to cut a long story short Nong threw Joey out of the house and her relatives threatened him about making trouble.
Joey told me despite everything he still loved Nong and he would not consult a lawyer.
But clearly she detested him.
I later learnt she had rented out the house for around 30,000 baht per month.
A few years later Joey was living in a bed sit/studio, and whilst he had found another one to live with him he never got over his experience with Nong ;and he died in Bangkok Pattaya hospital a broken man.

[fountainhall]

he died in Bangkok Pattaya hospital a broken man.
I'm not sure when this all happened but how many times have we read similar stories? Probably hundreds. And it's not always the girls who rip off the gullible farangs. Boys do it as well. I often wonder what sort of lives these guys had before retirement. I always assume a fairly routine and not very happy one. Yet, don't they do even a little research before they come here to retire? Is the ache for a younger partner so great that all sense disappears through their ears? I know we've all been smitten with at least one boy wonder in our time, but don't the vast majority of people know how to look after most of their money?

[arsenal]

It's a story that is time immemorial. Who here can not look back on those first few visits and think that could have been me. On occasions I have encountered farang who are planning some monthly donation, to fund a business, to up sticks and move here to be with their soulmate etc etc. I do wonder if I should gently warn them of the likelihood of failure and the financial costs involved. I never do.

[Nirish guy]

Although to be fair and to keep a but of balance how many times in the west have we witnesses some gold digger doing exactly the same thing, the younger person playing the older for all they can get out of them, or the wife in an unhappy marriage taking all she can get voluntarily from the husband, only then to divorce him and come back and finish the job, leaving him put out of their marital home and with only a fraction of his / their savings left.

So yes a tale that comes from time immemorial I think for sure, but not always just about Thai people screwing over farang - I think it just grates on us a bit more when we hear it that way round as it makes us feel and look stupid, whereas when it happens between western couples somehow it's viewed as less vicious and more of a love gone wrong type thing - neither of which I suspect is any more correct than some 25 year old Thai hottie reliving a 70 year old of all they can get from him in Thailand perhaps.

[fountainhall]

So yes a tale that comes from time immemorial I think for sure, but not always just about Thai people screwing over farang
It's surely less about Thais screwing over farang than farang being so clueless they permit themselves - often gladly - to be screwed.

[latintopxxx]

oh honestly....give me a break...we are talking about whores and prostitutes; the sort of people who perform for a living all day...everyday...willing to sell themselves multiple times/day to just about anybody for the price of an upsized big mac.
No matter what u all say about Thailand being an all accepting nirvana of live and let live...Im quite convinced that the mere act of selling themselves places them on the lowest possible rung in thai society...they have no standing in the community...and the only way they can claw some " dignity" back is with cash...so flashing new iphones/ jewelry ....or a house if they really strike gold is one pathway to redemption.
And u all expect the " love" it to last once the cash is gone....just what galaxy are u all on ?!

[Nirish guy]

Who said that, I haven't read any anyone saying anything remotely like that in any of the above ?

[fountainhall]

Latin's post is not unexpected since in all his posts it is clear he spends virtually all his time here consorting with the very prostitutes he calls the "lowest rung in thai society".

[latintopxxx]

yeah....I've never been coy about the fact that I'm a 100% certified sex tourist. My point is that some of the posts are a bit " surprised" that the Money boy/girl swindles the " john".....like just because they are Thai/Buddhist somehow makes them nice/honest/good!!!
I just make sure that there are NO emotions, its pure business...a body thing...

[Nirish guy]

And again ..... who said that, I haven't read any anyone saying anything remotely like that in any of the above ?

Quite the opposite, people are commenting on just how stupid some farang are that they keep falling for it, not that Thais wouldn't do such a thing.

Let's face it your posts are just another one of your many "I treat them mean because they're all just prostitutes" type posts, that's what they're really about. We know, you've told us before, MANY times.

[a447]

Latin wrote:

..willing to sell themselves multiple times/day to just about anybody for the price of an upsized big mac.

And which country are you referring to here? Obviously not Thailand.

[francois]

oh honestly....give me a break...we are talking about whores and prostitutes;.... .

Im quite convinced that the mere act of selling themselves places them on the lowest possible rung in thai society...

When it comes to the lowest rung in Thai society and Western society you are one who would know that.

Nonetheless there are others both in Thailand and elsewhere who are further down the ladder of society namely corrupt politicians, corrupt police and any others who take advantage of the poor and elderly and the desperate.

[arsenal]

Latin: To the best of my knowledge you can't 'upsize' a Big Mac. You can only go large to a Big Mac meal which gives fatties more fries and coke. The Big Mac remains the same.

[latintopxxx]

francois...I apologise..I have to agree with you...at least the MB is actually working for his living unlike the politicians..

[arsenal]

And in a delicious twist of irony if the politicians were as good at their jobs as the vast majority of money boys are then there wouldn't be any money boys.

[scottish-guy]

Latintopxxx's invective reminds me of the time a camp as Xmas old queen told me "You're nothing but an arsehole my dear" - to which my reply was "...better to be an arsehole than what comes out of it"

[Brad the Impala]

Such wit! Even Oscar Wilde would have shit himself with amusement.

[cdnmatt]

One I always love is the cute English mishaps.

"Come down when you're a lady!" (for dinner). I'm thinking, what? Then realize it's actually, "Come doen when you're ready".

"I already make my choose". :)

"Oh, you're nake. Ok, I'll get nake too.". It makes sense though. If you're in school learning English tenses, then see the word "naked", you'll assume past tense and drop the "d" for present tense.

"It's 2am, we should turn the music down.". "No problem, tonight is New Years, it's free style".

[scottish-guy]

<insert failed bitchy comment here>

Lets make a deal Brad - you clearly dislike me (despite never having met me) and your opinion (as you might expect) means nothing to me. So how about you refrain from making comments on my posts and in return I ignore your output? Deal?

[Doug]

Another interesting thread gone to crap. Why do I even try?

[scottish-guy]

You didn't - Arsenal started the thread

[Surfcrest]

I think the point Doug is trying to make, is that the thread got off to a good start with some great contributions, but then it turned into this.
Wouldn't it be great if only the crappy threads went sideways and the better ones left to bloom?

Surfcrest

[cdnmatt]

I don't know, I did my best to try to move it back into a positive direction. *shrug*

[goji]

I thought I'd start a thread for any little stories you might have about your trips to Thailand.

Sitting in Corner Bar late one evening an exceedingly mature gentleman returned with his offed boy in tow. He complained to Gary (the then owner) that the boy wouldn't even remove his underwear. He was (reluctantly) given the off fee back. Off he went. Gary then turned to me and said
"He's in his eighties and the boy's just 18. What did either of them expect!" Brilliant.


The normal expectation is that money boys will take their clothes off. I would expect the money boy to either turn down the off or to go and perform. Taking the off fee with no intention to even undress poor behaviour from the boy.

This thread describes a number of cases of obnoxious behaviour by farang, but this does not belong amongst them.

[Doug]

The original intent of the OP is obvious. For the future I would suggest that we try to maintain the original intent and anyone who wishes to comment/debate a particular point can start a new thread, quote the section and then comment thereby beginning a new discussion with a new focus.

[Doug]

Phliu Waterfall National Park

Back in 2010 I was seeing a boy named, Bop, who worked at a Sunee Bar. I had known him for a couple of years and got to meet his parents and family for meals and trips to the Jomtien and Pattaya Park.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v345/siamboy/MLNA0052_zpsyibd68mn.jpg (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/siamboy/media/MLNA0052_zpsyibd68mn.jpg.html)

In 2010 they invited me on a 5 day visit to their family's homestead near Trat. It was a usual farang visits Thai home with many highs and many lows and by the time we were loaded (overloaded) in the pickup for the return trip, I was truly exhausted and happy to be heading back to Pattaya. A group of boys from Bop's bar hitched a ride.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v345/siamboy/MLNA0053_zpsfsinarp9.jpg (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/siamboy/media/MLNA0053_zpsfsinarp9.jpg.html)

Half way back near Chantabury we turned off the highway. "Now what?", I mumbled into sleeping Pon's hair (Bop's younger brother. "Waterfall"!, Bop happily announced, "You did say you wanted to see a waterfall." That was 5 days ago, now I just wanted to see my bed. Nevertheless we arrived at Phliu Waterfall National Park and I must say it was worth the stop no matter the situation. You could spend a whole day here wandering the trails, marveling at the many waterfalls and swimming in the many pools.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v345/siamboy/MLNA0054_zpseeauzjjt.jpg (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/siamboy/media/MLNA0054_zpseeauzjjt.jpg.html)

But the highlight was the vegetable-eating, protected fish that filled every pool. Throw in a long bean and the fish swarmed like a school of piranha.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v345/siamboy/MLNA0046_zpsenvskbhb.jpg (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/siamboy/media/MLNA0046_zpsenvskbhb.jpg.html)

But better than that, you could swim with the fish and have them jostle around and over you as you fed them. Amazing!! Well worth the trip.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v345/siamboy/MLNA0048-2.jpg (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/siamboy/media/MLNA0048-2.jpg.html)

[Mancs]

Originally I come from Blackpool in the uk. The town has faded rather now but used to be very busy with visitors. Every Summer the local paper would print the occasional story about tourists who would arrive, check in to their small guesthouse, go out, and then be completely unable to find their guesthouse again. In desperation they would turn to the local paper so they could find their belongings again. I always used to find this funny. How could people be so foolish? Until, of course, I managed to do the same thing in Jomtien a couple of years ago. I invited a young man from one of the Jomtien bars back to my room and set off to walk there with him. Up and down we walked in the sois off the beach road but I couldn't find my room. After 40 minutes of doing this I paid him and waved goodbye. After a while I did find my room. And Blackpool is a lot bigger than Jomtien so it was me that was more foolish. I have done things that were a lot more ridiculous than that in Thailand. But whether I dare share them with you lot I don't know. Anyway, next week back to bkk with a side trip to Vietnam, possibly to be foolish again.

[TaoR]

I worked in Saudi Arabia in the early 80's and I was known for traveling to a variety of exotic places every chance I got. One time my old boss, who annoyed me to no end, asked me about going to Thailand (he was straight). He wanted me to have a beautiful woman meet him at the airport and show him around Bangkok.

As much as I tried my sense of humor got the best of me so I told him, "No problem!"

I knew this tour guide who was an absolutely gorgeous, and I mean stunningly gorgeous....ladyboy.

So, I connected the two of them and eventually he left Saudi Arabia for two weeks in Bangkok.

Of course I told EVERYONE after he had left what I had done.

So on the day of his return he was literally greeted with over 300 guys all standing by the front gate waiting for him to return!

He didn't speak to me for a couple of weeks! Of course I acted SHOCKED to find out that this beautiful tour guide was actually a guy!

You just never know! :)

[Yraen]

I think the point Doug is trying to make, is that the thread got off to a good start with some great contributions, but then it turned into this.
Wouldn't it be great if only the crappy threads went sideways and the better ones left to bloom?

Surfcrest

I have to agree with Surfie on this. My suggestion is that when Latin starts in on one of his "get over it ... whores and prostitutes" rants that his comments should immediately be transferred to the Flames folder where others can comment, chastise or crucify his contribution without disrupting the original thread.

While I can agree with Latin on some issues, generally he appears to be "flaming" anything with which he personally disagrees. Even when his views are clearly a minority of 1. I fail to see how that contributes positively to discussion.

[TaoR]

Thailand, waterfalls, and the visit to "my family." A true rite of passage for every farang and I am sure deserving of its own thread!

Okay, I pulled out the old photo albums, scanned in photos that are now 30 plus years old and here it goes:

So you meet and fall in love with some local boy. Some how over the course of the relationship he decides you just have to visit "my family!" In the 80's before the advent of the internet this basically involved turning over the whole planning of the trip to the love of your life...and it definitely meant traveling as the locals do (which isn't that bad if you are sized as a local but when you are a 6' 10" white guy that can be a problem.) All I knew was we were going to someplace in Phetchabun province.

So after a bus trip and hitching a ride on two mopeds we are left with a short walk and a bridge we have to cross....here was the bridge:

3981

Then it was meet the family....remember they just were introduced to "my friend" who is a 6' 10" white guy!

3982

3983

Of course everyone always brings up about the "Water Buffalo" as a famous line used by the boys but I am proud to announce that even back in the 1980's some farmers in Thailand had single axle tractors that they used and of course during my visits that was pretty much how we got around; on a wagon attached to the single axle tractor:

3984

Then of course we had to celebrate by going into town:

3985

Since it was 30 plus years ago I thought I would include this picture sort of as a reference since it has a sign:

Will have to continue this as another post....

[TaoR]

Continued...

3986

I actually enjoyed traveling throughout Petchabun and Lomsak provinces. I really enjoyed the mountains:

3987

...Oh, and lets not forget the waterfall:

3988

Oh, and last but not least my dear friend always said he wouldn't be a farmer and he is not! His older brother is a farmer and his younger brother is also a farmer.

[scottish-guy]

This story relates to a now deceased as large as life character who I guess some of the guys who were around in the 80s/90s might have encountered - a +20stone guy from Newcastle in the UK called Ray and who bore an uncanny facial resemblance to Margaret Rutherford.

Anyway, the story is that he arrived in BKK already well fuelled from the flight and had a taxi booked which took him to Pattaya via a couple of gas station stops to buy some more booze for the journey.

On arrival at his upmarket hotel he simply dumped his bags (that's not a metaphor) and headed straight out to the bars and got completely blitzed till the wee small hours.

He awoke at some point the following day stark bollock naked (not a pretty sight as he would admit) and looked around the bed to see if there was anybody else there. There wasn't anybody else there but to his horror he saw that the bed was covered in shit! There were large streaks of shit everywhere - all over the white sheets. Mortified, he sat up and noticed there was shit all over the pillows too!

He sat upright thinking "..is this what it's come to...so pissed that I've shat the bed...and what about the pillows ...have I shat the bed and wiped my arse with the pillow or what?" and trying to figure out a) what the fuck had happened and b) how he was going to explain this to the room maid and c) how much he was going to tip her to clean up the mess. He put his hand to his head and recoiled because his hand was covered in shit as well.

Then it occurred to him that he hadn't noticed any smell so he very gingerly raised his hand towards his nose and sniffed very lightly. There was not smell of shit at all but there a sickly sweet smell of ........chocolate!

He figured out what had happened was the hotel was in the habit of leaving small tablets of chocolate on the pillows for new arrivals - which of course he paid no attention to as he was just so wage to get out to the bars. On returning home he had just slumped on the bed and with his writhing about during his sleep, the chocolate had melted under him, oozed out of the wrapping and gone everywhere including the sheets, the pillows, and him!

So the moral us either don't get totally rat-arsed or always check the bed for hazards!

Apologies for typos - on iPhone from Palmer's Bar

[arsenal]

Mancs: I can entirely sympathise. I got lost on a beach once (Dominican Rep) and you can only go one of two ways.

[cdnmatt]

*raises hand*

No worries, I've been lost quite a few times too, as I'm sure we all have. My worst experience was in Prague. I was wandering around for hours at night trying to find my little hotel. If anyone have been to the old Jewish Quarter there, I'm sure you'll know how that's possible.

[a447]

My worst experience was in Prague. I was wandering around for hours at night trying to find my little hotel.

I had the same experience last year in Prague. I asked a guy working in the station how to get to Wenceslas Square (near my hotel) but he sent me wandering off in the wrong direction! It was night time and I got completely disorientated. An hour or so later I somehow ended back at the station and was given the correct instructions.

BTW, thanks arsenal for starting this thread. There have been some great stories and I hope there will be many more.

[Doug]

TaoR wrote, "traveling as the locals do (which isn't that bad if you are sized as a local but when you are a 6' 10" white guy that can be a problem."

At 6'2" I certainly agree with that statement. Thailand wasn't made for the tall...especially in rural areas. I spent much time in such areas visiting Thai friends homes.

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I always found such trips most educational and, for the most part, enjoyable. They always gave me a better perspective on the boyfriend (in this case Neung...the boy on the left).

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Now concerning the height issue...this provided a learning experience that took many trips to finally grasp. In rural Thailand they don't build the door openings as high as they do in the west or the cities. Especially the doors to the hong nams. As a consequence I was forever banging the top of my head on the low door jams to the great merriment of the watching Thais. After all of my early forays into rural Thailand I always returned with a bloodied and scarred bald spot as an unwelcomed souvenir.

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After 23 years of visiting Thailand, I'm afraid this particular learning process is on-going. But I'm getting better and thickered skin.

[cdnmatt]

For a free chuckle, always let your Thai guy put the groceries away. Yesterday I had dry gravy packets in the fridge, spaghetti sauce in the spice rack, parmesean cheese with the cleaning supplies, and more! :)

[Doug]

CDNMatt...That's so true. My boys would store uneaten food in the microwave. I told them the refrigerator was better/healthier but their reasoning was that later they would be reheating the food so why put it in the doo yen.

[cdnmatt]

Ugghhh... you brought back memories now. Leaving dishes on the floor, and just covering them up with plastic / straw tops. You just kinda hope they remember about the food before the ants or maggots appear.

Also reminds me when they used the bathroom drain as a garbage disposal. Throwing empty tubes of toothpaste and Q-tips down there, then got confused when the pipes got backed up and flooded the downstairs of the house.

Thankfully the guy I have staying here now is absolutely amazing. I just found it quite cute he obviously didn't know what a good portion of the stuff we bought yesterday is, and was just putting it where he thought it looked good. Now I kind of have to play scavenger hunt to find my ingredients. :)

[Mancs]

Continuing the theme of foolish things I have done in Thailand, of which there are many: I arrived at BKK from Hanoi, very tired after 2 nights of little sleep. The plane had no immigration cards so I stopped before immigration to fill the card in, putting my bag under the plinth. Forgetting about the bag I then went through immigration and customs and was merrily going down the escalator when I realised I had no bag. As you can imagine it took quite some doings with the tourist police to get back airside. The bag was still sat in the same place 30 minutes later so I was lucky that time. A friend of a friend once topped that by going in the toilet at Perth airport, after a 24 hour flight from uk, and putting his small bag with passport, bank cards, money etc on the cistern. That was not there when he returned and it took him some days to dig himself out of that problem.

[Doug]

Manning the Barricades 2007

On this deceptively quiet Sunday afternoon in May, a small band of 3 committed and 1-pseudo revolutionaries departed the hot pleasure dome by the sea and ventured into the heart of the big mango to join thousands of compatriots. Disguised as two farang tourists with their young, innocent Thai friends from the plaza of sin, these brave men hired a taxi to carry them to the secluded meeting ground behind a particularly beautiful wat in Bangkok. The small band was lead by the nefarious Small Family Guy (SFG) from Sattahip and the world renowned Crazy Man (CM) from the foreign land of Elizabeth. A young handsome neophyte, to be henceforth known as Khun ItchyBum and his protector, the as yet uncommitted Duck, rounded out the team. This day, which started as a benign afterthought, was to prove a test to the endurance and fortitude of these men.

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Arriving at the chosen wat, The Four join the constant flow of believers through the grounds of the beautiful temple and down a dusty road to the encampment. They stopped at the first tent to doff their disguises and purchase the blood red shirts and clappers that would help them assimilate into the growing throng of similarly clad brethren although it was impossible for the two farangs to truly hide. Nevertheless they were heartily welcomed on all sides; hailed by the men and offered wedlock by several of the women. The Four easily passed through the checkpoint and bag search. It was at this point the farangs paused to enjoy the sight of so many handsome men in uniform only to be warned by their young compatriots that these may not be friendlies and aggressive ogling should be discouraged.

A lush green plot not too close the stage/speakers was selected by Duck much to the disappointment of SFG who desired to sit as near the booming black boxes and his talking heroes as possible. The group settled down on plastic sheets to bask in the sun, await the opening speeches, enjoy the music, acknowledge the many well-wishers and be surrounded by and ever-swelling red multitude. They were so enchanted that they failed to recognize the threat of gathering clouds, distant flashes of light and the many vendors suddenly hawking umbrellas.

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Almost as if orchestrated by opposing powers, as soon as the first orator began to rally the crowd, the sky began to relieve itself. ItchyBum tried to accuse the leaders of another colour of using royal technology in seeding the atmosphere. Umbrellas were purchased and The Four hunkered down to wait out the 15-minute shower as proclaimed by the ever-optimistic SFG. Fifteen minutes later the heavy rain was driven sideways by a howling gale. Lightening flashed all around and crashes of thunder jolted their very souls. They huddled together while the umbrellas and plastic proved useless against such power. All around the plot of green the waters began to rise but the multitude continued to arrive. The field soon became a slough of mud 10cms deep. And still the dedicated trudged in to take up positions.

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After 30 minutes the storm slackened to a gentle rain and The Four began to assess the situation. The stage was in taters. A large light standard had been blown over. No piece of clothing was dry and the stalwart CM began to declare his immense displeasure at his soddened blue jeans and mud-caked shoes. He immediately began to demand where in this open field he could buy a pair of pants and some flip-flops but his whining was lost in the crowds tumultuous cheers as some brave dignitaries forsake their vehicles and strolled, unprotected, through the adoring masses to the stage. Both SFG and ItchyBum were inspired and nothing was going to move them from the spot. Duk took CM’s hand and began to lead him back through the throng on a desperate search for fresh clothes.
Back on the street there were no clothing shops to be seen but a small cafe was found that sold beer thus CM was calmed for the moment. While CM revived his courage, Duck continued the search down the soi, which was packed with arriving vehicles. He managed to find a small shop where he was able to purchase flip-flops and a large pair of floral shorts. CM immediately discarded his ruined shoes but declined the gaudy shorts. Duck and CM bought some noodles and beer, waded back through the mud and rejoined the two young zealots. They sat on wet plastic under umbrellas eating their cold noodles, drinking beer listening to soaring speeches that neither farang understood. The crowd continued to grow.

All of a sudden SFG stood up and, with a manic look in his eye, declared we were to move closer to the stage. Duck tried to protest but to no avail thus the small patch of green above the sea of mud was abandoned and The Four struck out into the unknown. This decision by SFG proved the last straw for Duck. After a few minutes of trudging along behind he came to a resolute stop with mud over-topping his shoes and he refused, child-like, to proceed any further. When the others came back to him, he had decided it was time for him to return to the paradise by the sea and a warm shower. The others look shocked at this display of weakness, as there was still 4 more hours of speeches to go. Duck invited the other to stay but he was determined to leave. After some discussion of possibilities the four musketeers decided it was one for all and all for one and they began the slow trek back against the still arriving masses to try and find a taxi in the jammed soi.

Amazingly in all these miserable conditions, the Thai people were up-beat and friendly. After seeing TV coverage of the reds, Duck had formed negative opinions that were certainly dispelled by the warmth of the people he met this day.

In the taxi The Four all laughed over the day’s experiences and were happy to have taken part. Halfway home ItchyBum declared his damp jeans were causing posterior discomfort that required aggressive scratching. The 2 farangs were happy to oblige and thus ItchyBum received his nickname.

Another unforgettable time in the Land of Smiles.

[Dalewood]

Mancs: I can entirely sympathise. I got lost on a beach once (Dominican Rep) and you can only go one of two ways.

I pulled that off the last time I was at Fire Island. :-(