Colonial party for Brits Sat 23 April incl free food

[lonelywombat]

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http://gaybuttonthai.com/images/icons/smile/info.gif St. George's Day Party - Saturday, April 23 (http://gaybuttonthai.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=7750&sid=86a083d18beae570019eac4f99dd42ba#p72334) http://gaybuttonthai.com/styles/prosilver/imageset/icon_post_target.gif (http://gaybuttonthai.com/viewtopic.php?p=72334#p72334)by lemondrop (http://gaybuttonthai.com/memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=25598) » Wed Apr 13, 2016 1:07 pm
There will be a St. George's Day party at the Colonial Bar in Soi VC on Saturday, April 23rd. There will be free English food (Lancashire Hotpot and Toad in the Hole) served from 8.30pm. There will also be a sing-along of traditional English songs and a balloon bursting game where you can win prizes. All true Englishmen are expected to attend but other nationalities are also welcome - especially people from our former colonies! http://gaybuttonthai.com/images/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif

[fountainhall]

That's one event I will run mile to avoid!

[francois]

Do you Brits celebrate St. George's Day in honor of General George Washington,a former colonist? Will you be singing Yankee Doodle? Sounds like fun to me.

[lonelywombat]

Do you Brits celebrate St. George's Day in honor of General George Washington,a former colonist? Will you be singing Yankee Doodle? Sounds like fun to me.

I believe they sing the US version

Yank my doodle its a dandy

[scottish-guy]

St George's Day has nothing to do with George Washington and St George (who was a Roman soldier) predates Washington by quite some margin!!

I echo Fountainhall, and cannot think of an event I would be LESS inclined to attend than the one threatened to take place at the Colonial Bar.

The whole idea is utterly bizarre as "Colonial" in the bar's title refers to Ireland*

Let me assure our gentle readers that there's little the Irish (as in the ones living in Eire, and at least half the NI ones) would appreciate less than a bunch of Englishmen singing God Save The Queen, There'll Always Be an England, Rule Britannia, and Land of fucking Hope and Glory - no doubt topped off by some Morris or Lancashire Clog dancing, in an "Irish" bar.

Jesus fucking Christ! If there was a ROFL smiley I'd be using 3 of them!! :D

* Nicky's Blog: "The Colonial is a friendly Sports Bar with an Irish theme"

[arsenal]

Ah yes. Francois, Scottish and Wombat are suddenly in cahoots to launch a premeditated attack on the English. A peaceful nation that never did anyone any harm. Shame on you.

[scottish-guy]

...the English. A peaceful nation that never did anyone any harm...

OMG your tongue must be so firmly in your cheek it's impossible to speak!

I won't mention the invention of concentration camps (because that was the British as opposed to the English) but just off the top of my head and relating to Scotland only - have you never heard of the Highland Clearances, Culloden, William Wallace or Mary Queen of Scots?

[fountainhall]

. . . or the fact that whilst the Scots and the English had been enemies for centuries (Scotland had much closer ties to France than ever with England), it was the English who were forced to accept King James VI of Scotland on their throne when Elizabeth I despite numerous affairs could't bear a child. Somewhat ironic considering it was Elizabeth who had had James' mother's head cut off. Thus was born the romantic and true legend of Mary Queen of Scots. Mind you, James was not to everyone's taste. A gay lad indeed, on Elizabeth's death some wits spread the gossip that "The King is dead! Long live the Queen!"

[arsenal]

Indeed. It has been said that the English gentleman is even today considered the standard to which all high minded fellows should aspire. We built an empire with little more than tea and deft diplomacy. Hip hip hooray.

[fountainhall]

Yes, where would the English (I suppose I have to expand that to Brits) be without their tea and diplomacy, along with more than a touch of slavery and opium wheeling-dealing to spice things up?

[arsenal]

As many have commented in the past, being colonised/civilised by the English was the best thinhlg that ever happened to a country.

[scottish-guy]

OK a very quick list (I'm not claiming it's exhaustive) of former British (which I think Arsenal conflates with English) colonies, dominions, territories, sub-territories etc which have allegedly been "civilised" by the English (which I think he conflates with British)* - and for which the natives presumably ought to be eternally grateful as it "was the best thing that ever happened to them):D

Afghanistan, Antigua and Barbuda, Australia, Papua New Guinea , The Bahamas , Bahrain , Barbados, Belize, Botswana , Brunei, Canada, Cyprus, Dominica, Egypt, Fiji, The Gambia, Ghana, Grenada, Guyana, India, Israel, Iraq, Ireland (Eire), Jamaica, Jordan, Kenya , Kiribati, Kuwait, Lesotho, Malawi, Malaysia, Singapore, Maldives , Malta, Mauritius, Myanmar, Nauru, New Zealand, Cook Islands, Niue, Nigeria, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Qatar, Saint Lucia, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Seychelles, Sierra Leone, Solomon Islands, South Africa, Namibia, Sri Lanka, Sudan, Swaziland, Tanzania,Tonga, Trinidad and Tobago, Tuvalu, Uganda, United Arab Emirates, United States, Vanuatu, Yemen, South Yemen, Zambia, Zimbabwe


The point is Arsenal, could you name just ONE of those countries above which is clamouring to be back in the bosom of Mother England?

No, I didn't think so - what a thoroughly beastly attitiude these foreign-johnnies have. :rolleyes:

* This conflation of England with Britain is one of the things that pisses the rest of us in the UK right off. Now I'll concede that you may not have been conflating England with Britain (although I'm certain you were) - in which case fair enough but the list of countries which ought to be counting their lucky stars for the influence of the English would be a very much smaller one, wouldn't it?

[fountainhall]

Not that it is much consequence, you could have added Hong Kong and swathes of mainland China.

[Faranglaw]

If Elizabeth I had given birth to a child, it would have been an enormous scandal, as she was never married. No way would that child have been in line for the throne. I doubt very much that she was trying for an heir. Charles II had 14 illegitimate children and none of them inheritd the throne. It went to his brother James II.

[Faranglaw]

Colonization was a catastrophe for most of the colonies. If we look at how Third World countries have done, it's obvious that the ones that were not colonized, such as Jaoan and Thailand, have performed far better than the ones that were, such as Burma, Cambodia, India, Bagladesh and the long list provided by Scottie.

Old pointless argument. No one will be convinced.

[arsenal]

Let's take our Antipodean cousins. When the English got there it was just a big heap of dust. So we invented Australia. Now its quite good although still under the ultimate sovereignty of The Queen of England, of course.

[fountainhall]

And yet if you look at Scotty's list, you'll be hard pressed to find another handful or so whose post-colonial existence has not been marred by civil wars, massive spilling of blood, humungous corruption, dictatorships and a host of other little nasties. Mind you, though, compared to the Dutch and the Belgians, the Brits were positive fairy godmothers when they were in charge.

[arsenal]

Fuck off fountainhall. You've spoilt my fun by introducing a note of realism into the discussion. A good number of our colonies were left as functioning parliamentary democracies. If they've screwed it up since we left..well.

[christianpfc]

...the English. A peaceful nation that never did anyone any harm.

We built an empire with little more than tea and deft diplomacy.

Let's take our Antipodean cousins. When the English got there it was just a big heap of dust. So we invented Australia.
I am appalled at your ignorance of history. Read here for starters:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_Boer_War
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bengal_famine_of_1943
(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bengal_famine_of_1943)
Australia, and same for Northern America, was not a "big heap of dust". They had been inhabited for millennia before the British arrived and wiped out most of the native population.


You've spoilt my fun by introducing a note of realism into the discussion.
I don't think the Boer War, the Bengal Famine, and the genocide of the native Americans and Australians are funny.

[arsenal]

The English have also shown most of Europe how to govern a country, forge lasting alliances, trade across the world and be held in high esteem by other nations while still being able to kick arse when required. For England and St George.

[arsenal]

India was a collection of tin pot Marharij dictatorships until the English organised them into a proper country. Now it's the worlds largest liberal democracy with a reasonable rule of law.

[scottish-guy]

Arsenal's distasteful display of petty English nationalism (borne of irrational jingoism and the sense of grievance that comes from being too small, too poor, and too stupid to have any real influence in the world these days), is both corrosive and dangerous and must be resisted at all costs.

The rise of the far-right in England under the cult leadership of the rabble-rousing, boorish, beer swilling, cigarette smoking, smirking, and possibly homosexual Nigel Farage is particularly disturbing.

Only this week we have seen carefully organised displays of flag-waving and triumphalism which would not have been out of place in Nuremberg in the early days of the Third Reich! Outrageously, the state broadcaster has been used to beam these displays of propaganda into the homes of the disaffected and mostly unemployed, something-for-nothing benefit-reliant English - presumably to further enlarge the already massive chip they have on their shoulders. Oh yes, these staged events were carefully disguided as "celebrations" of the Queen's birthday, but the subliminal messages were clear and unmistakeable - with hardly a kilt, a leek, or a shillelagh in sight!!

The indisputable fact is that English nationalism is all based on wishful thinking and a harking back to the days of St. George, Henry VIII, and Dad's Army.

Surely Arsenal must realise that England could not survive on its own? Indeed only yesterday the glorious USA President Obama (who seems totally ungrateful for the gifts of civilisation and culture which the English historically lavished on BOTH his countries of origin) put Britain (and thus England) squarely in her place by declaring that it would be at the "back of the queue" for future US trade deals if it did not follow his instructions. What a slap down and a devastating blow to Farage. If Obama's call is follwed up by a hoarde of Z list celebrities and has-been singers voicing their "opinions" in single syllable words, then he must surely resign immediately. Indeed if the REAL Queen of England (Elton John) speaks out, Farage is finished and it's just as well that Reg has his own marriage/legal/paparazzi problems at the moment.

The inconvenient fact which Arsenal must deal with is that since Obama clearly regards Britain as a second-class state, then an England standing alone must be third class, or maybe even fourth! As Obama has unmistakeable yet subtly indicated, England was effectively extinguished in 1707 and is now only relevant as part of the UK, EU, or as a conduit for American foreign policy.

All right thinking people realise that as part of the UK, England has the best of both worlds and is definitely better together within both unions - since we are able to pool and share resources and risks in these uncertain times when we may all die in our beds tomorrow.

More practically, if England in a moment of madness were to vote to leave the EU, then it would place the continuing EU state (Scotland)in the difficult position of having to impose border controls at Carlisle, turning dear old Auntie Violet into a foreigner - and of course the Union itself would be in mortal danger.

Once expelled from the UK, England would find herself unable to watch Downton Abbey, Coronation Street, or even re-runs of Fawlty Towers. More worryingly, UK Government sources privately admit that aliens would be more likely to invade.

Copyright: Daily Torygraph

*****Any of that sound familar? We need the ROFL icon back - or at least the hatted man with his blow-tickler!****

[francois]

I don't think the Boer War, the Bengal Famine, and the genocide of the native Americans and Australians are funny.

Well I am pleased to read that and that you have had a change of heart. As you may recall you once wrote:

"Overall, Cambodian boys win for me. [WARNING! Sick joke ahead!] The benefits of a genocide: weeds out the weak and the sick, only the strong and healthy survive. But there is not much to do and to see in Cambodia, otherwise I might move there".

[arsenal]

Good point Francois. Bad bad Christian. English gentlemen would never stoop to low brow humour such as that. Get ye back to finishing school Herr Christian.

[pennyboy]

{ think SG's recent rant was the funniest thing I have read in a long time. His insults about the odious Farage included the assertion that he might be homosexual. I guess nothing could be worse!!!The thought that all the old ladies and children I saw on television waving the Union Flag to celebrate the Queen's 90th Birthday were in reality just a bunch of National Front loonies had me bemused. He is so consumed by his anti English feelings that all reality has gone. As a Scot I am saddened that there are so many others that would agree with him. I would like to think Scotland was better than that.

[scottish-guy]

Pennyboy - the thing that's funny is that you took my "rant" at all seriously - do you not understand irony - all the "insults" I recycled were in fact thrown in the other direction during the Indyref (including the demonisation of Alex Salmond, for whom I substitued Niigel Farage). But of course you'll be one of the "Proud Scot, buts" who missed all that, first time round.

You've been had, my friend - and probably not for the 1st time either :p

Ask Arsenal himself - we were having a laugh in PM before I even posted my "rant"

I really need to work with a more clued-up crowd - I'm wasted here :cool:

[francois]

I'm wasted here [/I]:cool:

Buck up scottish-guy:


Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.
Matthew 7:6

[arsenal]

It is a matter of public record that when the English turned up to invent new countries and show the local chaps how to run them sales of bunting and replica flags went through the roof. And look how good natured we are, treating our Celtic colonies of Scotland, Wales and NI almost as equals. That's class that is.

[Faranglaw]

Dear Scottie,

You misspelled "realize."

Your pal, Joe Biden.

[fountainhall]

It is a matter of public record that when the English turned up to invent new countries and show the local chaps how to run them sales of bunting and replica flags went through the roof.
True story. When the Queen's late sister Princess Margaret made a visit to Hong Kong she was met at the old Kai Tak airport in Kowloon and then driven on the recently opened Princess Margaret Flyover to the island. Known to be an accomplished whisky drinker, she was no doubt somewhat the worse for wear after the flight. Looking out at the public housing estates which lined the east side of the flyover, she turned to the Governor and said in regal tones: "How kind of the people to put all the bunting out for me!" What the dear lady was actually seeing was all the washing hanging out perpendicularly from the small flats.

[scottish-guy]

It is somewhat less well known but nevertheless true that Princess Margaret was also an accomplished sausage jockey (which is not a criticism, just a fact which spawned this joke):


The Queen and Princess Diana are travelling down The Mall in a Rolls Royce when suddenly the door is wrenched open and a masked gunman jumps inside.

Pointing to the Queen, the gunman says "Right, Ma'am - I want that Tiara youre always wearing - hand it over now, or else!"
The Queen holds her hands up towards her head and calmly says "Tiara? What tiara? I'm not wearing any tiara!"
"For fuck sake..." says the gunman "...Every time I see you on the telly you're wearing that tiara and now it's nowhere to be seen - that's just my fucking luck"

Turning to Princess Diana, the Gunman shouts "Right, Di - I want that ring you're always wearing - the one with the big blue stone Charlie gave you and you've been flashing about every day for years - hand it over, or else!"
Princess Diana stretches out her hand and says "Ring? What ring? As you can see I'm not wearing any ring!"
"Oh for fuck sake... says the gunman - "Every time I see you on the telly or in the papers you have that ring on - except today - that's just my fucking luck!"

"Right" says the exasperated gunman "That's it - since YOU don't have the Tiara and YOU don't have the ring, just both get out the fucking Rolls, I'm taking the car!" - which he does.

So the Queen and Diana are left standing in the middle of the road whilst the gunman screeches away in the Rolls Royce.

The Queen turns to Diana and says "Look dear, I happen to know that you WERE wearing that ring my son gave you when you got in the car and yet when the gunman demanded it, it was gone! What happened to it?"

"Well...", said Diana - "Out of the corner of my eye I actually saw the gunman coming towards us, so I took the ring off and I slipped it under my skirt and into a safe place" - and she motions towards her vagina.

"What a brillo wheeze!" says the Queen "You're going to go far in this firm"

"But hang on.." says Diana, "...I also happen to know something. When YOU got in the car you WERE wearing that tiara and when the gunman demanded it, you no longer had it - where did it go?"

"Well dear...", says the Queen "...I've been around a while and I also spotted the gunman approaching the car, so I whipped off the tira and I put it under my skirt and into a safe place" - again motioning towards her vagina.

They both agree that they have been very smart in outwitting the gunman and start walking down The Mall (rather gingerly, given the contents of their snatches)

Suddenly the Queen stops dead:

"Oh fuck, Diana - you realise what this means, dont you my dear....if only Margaret had been here, we could have saved the fucking Rolls!"

:cool: