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View Full Version : My Strayan Saga



December 25th, 2015, 10:11
As I took my seat in ThaiтАЩs Business Class on a 747 service out of Sydney it was, as Yogi Berra is reported to have said, d├йj├а vu all over again (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deja_Vu_All_Over_Again). IтАЩd last flown on TG from Bangkok to London in mid-2008. Nothing had changed in 7.5 years. No wonder theyтАЩre almost bankrupt.

IтАЩll be spending a few days in Thailand. IтАЩm thinking Chiang Mai for New Year. Perhaps IтАЩll write about that too.

IтАЩd been visiting the locals, as the Strayans say, тАЬdown underтАЭ which frankly sounds rather like a nest of crabs in someoneтАЩs knickers. A brace of KommieтАЩs Boys had invited me out, so I thought IтАЩd do an investigation of whatтАЩs available in the colonies. Chukka and Camilla Carpet-Bowls had just preceded me, so the locals were still habituated to tugging the forelock.

Brisbane, Melbourne and Sydney are where KommieтАЩs Boys reside and where they host some of the many servers I use to access the Internet. Too kind.

I arrived in Perth (from Canada, via Los Angeles and Singapore, the latter on SQтАЩs wonderful A380); one or two SGT members live there, or nearby there, as well (you know who I mean) and I had promised to visit them. The only sex club I could find (I donтАЩt go to saunas) was above a porn shop called тАЬClub XтАЭ. If youтАЩre expecting to meet the youth of your dreams or even have a fumble with someone passably attractive in that sort of place in Perth, then your fantasy life is more febrile than some of our regular posters here. I was told about another place that had booths for individual viewing of porn where some had glory holes but I thought I wouldnтАЩt bother.

I then flew to Brisbane where there are not one but two sex clubs under the same ownership. One is in the city, the other in тАЬthe ValleyтАЭ. Fortitude Valley is an area where the drug trade especially flourishes; the Australians are currently obsessed with тАЬiceтАЭ and Ecstasy of uncertain provenance and strength. That drug trade is controlled (and the ice and Ecstasy manufactured) by the local gangs of bikies who, when they want some recreation, head off to Pattaya.

The тАЬEverything AdultтАЭ clubs, while largely populated by sodomites, also attracted bisexuals and, from time to time, women usually with but sometimes without a man in tow. All I can say is, straight men will fuck any woman provided itтАЩs a cunt on legs. Perhaps even the legs are optional. The porn is heterosexual. The clientele was much more mixed, with some young students from Indonesia and Colombia (yes, Colombia!) among the punters. How do I know where theyтАЩre from? Work it out. Join the dots.

A note about flying around Australia. ItтАЩs big. Perth-Brisbane takes four hours. The interactive map on TG showed that half the flight was over before we finally left Australia behind us. I flew Virgin Australia domestically. Richard BransonтАЩs usual brand of totty made up the female flight attendants тАУ blonde, skinny (mostly) and long legs. The male flight attendants seemed 100% gay, certainly on my flights. Jason тАУ not only an FA on one of my flights but also on Grindr тАУ showed me a very good time. His long legs looked fabulous draped over my shoulders.

December 25th, 2015, 10:15
Next it was Brisbane-Melbourne. Wombat land. Would I meet him perhaps in Spartacus, an all-gay sex club? Not unless heтАЩs a retired bank manager who, along with some other friends, funds a home for children born HIV+ just out of Khon Kaen.

Ah, Spartacus. The house speciality seems to be the group grope, and there was a lot of it going on the times I was there. Yes, guys did disappear into locked rooms in twos and occasionally threes but most of the action was a free-for-all out in the open. Very gregarious, those Strayans. It wasnтАЩt all Caucasians however. Spartacus is located in MelbourneтАЩs Chinatown and is also adjacent to one of the cityтАЩs universities, so young Asians and Indians were sometimes among the participants. However I would be lying if I said other than that the majority of the punters were middle-aged.

My final destination was Sydney. Sodom by the Sea. The number of sex clubs in the inner city and nearby is amazing, despite the supposedly gay-friendly female Lord Mayor of Sydney whose policies are, according to someone in her inner circle, to shut down these places of тАЬfilthтАЭ because we all know that gay men have plenty of alternatives these days, donтАЩt we?! AustraliaтАЩs Aborigines keep wittering on about their sacred sites. What about ours?

The alternatives are Grindr and its ilk. In Straya Grindr seems to be more popular with Caucasians, and JackтАЩd with Asians. So many Asians, so many. Why do Strayans bother with Thailand any more? There are Asian students from Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia, Thailand and China, there are Asian boys on working holiday visas (mostly from Taiwan as far as I could see) from Hong Kong, Korea and Japan. The inner cities are teeming with cute, available young Asians. One aside тАУ there were a number of profiles that explicitly said, one way or another, тАЬIтАЩm not for saleтАЭ тАж but I got lots of offers from those who, clearly, were.

Indians are increasingly in evidence too, so much so that the local KommieтАЩs Boy joked that Australia was now offering visas to sexual, rather than political, refugees (India/Pakistan being somewhere that disapproves homosexuals).

On Grindr there seemed to be a significant percentage of couples looking for тАЬfunтАЭ or тАЬa thirdтАЭ, or of guys describing themselves as being in an тАЬopenтАЭ relationship. ThereтАЩs a promised plebiscite on so-called тАЬgay marriageтАЭ coming up, probably in 2017 costing a mere $150 million to hold, and a gay-friendly prime minister in Malcolm Turnbull, whose electorate encompasses a large (gentrified) gay ghetto in SydneyтАЩs eastern suburbs. However Straya has given gay couples immigration rights since 1991 and legislation removing the distinction between the treatment of straight and gay relationships became law in 2008. Why bother with marriage? Most (straight) Strayans donтАЩt.

ItтАЩs said that when the first ships carrying white settlers arrived in Sydney Cove, as the convicts (they were all convicts; it was a penal colony) landed on the beach, men from one set of ships, women from another joined in one great orgy. Sadly thatтАЩs an urban myth (http://dictionaryofsydney.org/artefact/first_fleet) but it pretty much sums up gay life in Straya as I found it.