Bali and KL Trip Report

[steveky]

Day 1

My first trip report for Sawatdee Forum, and as Day One was a travelling day, I'll set out the ground rules. First thing to state is that I'm travelling with the bf. He's Indonesian (Javan) and quit simply the loveliest bloke you could ever hope to meet. He is also under the impression that being partners means that we are monogamous. Which at least one of us is not. It is a topic of ongoing discussion. He always plans to leave me to get married (to a girl - and thus get the family off his back) soonish, so I feel less guilt that I otherwise might.

Secondly, my travel modus operandi. I travel for food, drink and massages. And well, if the truth be known, enjoying the visual delights of the male species that inhabit our planet.

Someone else on this forum expressed a sentiment that is close to how I approach the massages... that is I do not go expecting or wanting to find sex. In fact, I hope it never happens. Instead I want to be teased and titilated. I want the suggestion to be there, the longing and thoughts that it is entirely possible. I realise that is different to the majority of people on this Board. Two suggested reasons why. Firstly I have observed that I only remember the men I didn't - but cold have - had. It's weird, but once I have sex with someone they vanish from my memory. Of course, writing about them in a forum like this helps... but I only remember probably 3 of the 100's of guys I've slept with in Thailand. But I remember every guy I didn't sleep with that (in my addled mind) could have happened. Weird, but true. The second reason is that the amount that some other members spend on their indulgence in the Land of Smiles just makes my eyes water. Something an ordinary pleb like myself just could not afford.

We got into Bali at about 11:00pm, about 30 minutes behind schedule, despite leaving Melbourne on time. No biggie, and normally I love the air travel part of a holiday. But this plane's seats seemed unusually cramped, and then it turned out they didn't take credit card, so my onboard purchases were limited. Yes it was a budget line - AirAsia - an airline I rate highly. But one Bintang an enjoyable air journey does not make.

Customs was a bit of a breeze, but the hike of a visa to $50 was a slap in the face. Then the luggage conveyor kept breaking down. It really was one of the silliest designs ever seen (in keeping with much of the "new" Ngurah Rai International Airport). What a dud. When staff could not be found, intrepid fellow travellers jumped onto the conveyor to clear the resulting carnage more than once. A joke.

We stopped by Loata a 24 hour restaurant for our ritual Bubur - rice porridge - this time with prawns. God I love it.

And finally crashed into bed at 2am, 5am Hobart time. I'd been up for 22 hours.

[firecat69]

Can't wait for further impressions of Bali. Are you staying in Seminyak?

[steveky]

Hey Firecat! Good question, as I forgot to mention that we are staying this trip (11 nights) all in Ubud. I am a great fan of Ubud - although often stay in Legian when on the coast. You've obviously been before?

[steveky]

Day 2

We ran straight to the one massage place listed on Utopia Asia - Milano. I used to visit another spa called Modena, and knew that they called their male masseurs to come from Milano. But Modena was just so aesthetically pleasing that I was loathe to go elsewhere. Anyway Modena had relocated a couple of kilometres away, and now had become massage for men... interesting. Will definitely check it out later this trip. It also turned out both massages places were owned by the same bloke. We said hello to everyone and promised to be back after lunch.

Which we did. (Lunch was at a new Ubud eatery, Arang Sate, which turned out to be a real find.)

Back at Milano, and on account of a torrid time with the shower at our accommodation elected to have the Mandi Lulur - massage, body scrub and then bath. The Manager of sorts was quite cute - and I would have liked him to be my masseur. But when he showed my to my room, he produced a pair of ridiculous paper undies for my use. The moment that these appear, any thought of suggestiveness goes out the window. And so it was for this session. My masseur arrived and he was from Java. Normally Javanese blokes float my boat, but this guy was very vanilla. Nothing at all to write home about. But he could do a strong massage. And the bath with ginger tea and biscuits was very relaxing. What did piss me off was that they added government tax onto the prices on their brochure - but there was no mention of it on the brochure. Not good form. (Apparently Indonesian GST is 10% if the business' turnover is greater that IDR600,000,000. Anyway enough of the tax lesson.) First day's massage was a dud in the titilation stakes.

Ubud is literally brimming with good-looking men from all over the world. Sitting on a cafe balcony and watching them makes for a particularly fine pastime, and makes up (partially) for a dud massage day.

Oh, and the other discovery today was Cinema Paradiso. Stumbled across this facility purely by chance, and at the time of writing (after only two visits) I am an unabashed fan.

What a great concept... a large theatre space with low couches (not all that comfortable) and some normal two-seater couches (more comfortable) with low tables and a big, big screen for the space. Add to that a cranking sound system, and a $AUD5 (nett) entry price, $AUD4 of which is applied to your food and drink bill (which is then ++). If that's not a deal, I don't know what is.

We've pencilled in visits for the rest of the week.

[steveky]

Day 3

This day was set aside to visit Jungle Fish, a restaurant swimming pool combo. I mostly liked it, but won't bore you with the details. Suffice to say one of the waiters, Nyoman, complete with braces on his teeth, was to die for. He so could have found himself married to an Australian before the day's end.

After returning to town we went to Cinema Paradiso (as mentioned in the Day 2 report) and got ourselves tickets to the 7:30pm screening. If left us with only an hour to scout around for a quick massage. Around the corner was the curiously named Boreh Pijat Salon & Sauna. As we were perusing the menu, out came Wayan.

Now Balinese men usually do nothing for me. Usually, but there are some exceptions. And Wayan was certainly an exception. Of course it had nothing to do with the fact that I was half tanked from the endless mojitos consumed at Jungle Fish. (I will return in a couple of day's time - sober - to check out if indeed it was the mojitos talking.)

I only had a limited amount of time, so asked for the 30 minute back and shoulder massage. In my past experience these have been done clothed, but he said take off your shirt and processed to apply oil. Again I have no idea how much was real and how much was imagined, but I felt sparks. Thirty short minutes. Hopefully the shortest massage of my trip.

We will return to Boreh Pijat Salon & Sauna in coming days to see whether I should nominate my imagination for an Academy Award, or whether Wayan and I are destined for greater things.

[steveky]

Day 4

We were up early and the bf has sussed out a coffee shop that he wanted to visit: Seniman Coffee Studio. It was a treat. We arrived to find it fairly chockers with hipsters and assorted Bali psuedo-hippies. The chairs rocked (literally) and the coffee was way fine, not to mention served in rather a unique manner. We were well-impressed with this coffee palace, and will return to sample the food at a later date.

After Facebook check-in, an acquaintance replied and said and don't forget to check out Kafe, advice that was followed up immediately. It proved to be good on the ambiance and service fronts, if not necessarily the food.

Once it was massage time, we trounced off to Boreh Pijat Salon & Sauna in search of the man of the my dreams - Wayan - only to find that it was his day off. Once told this, I remember being informed of it the night before in my inebriated state. Sigh.

So we decided just to wander around and see what presented itself. And so it turned out that we ended up at Milano again. It was actually completely by chance. True! There were hardly any other customers (it must have been about 7pm or later), and out of the mob of staff huddled over a moto emerged this absolutely stunning guy. [Swallow hard.] [Don't look too pleased.]

At this point, the bf is tugging at my sleeve going "No, this is the place that charges tax". And I'm at a loss to think up a good retort, but there is no way I'm letting this babe out of my sight. I claim to be too tired to look any further, to which he make a low gutteral noise that can be loosely translated to mean "You're gonna get it" and off he trots home. I actually didn't have any money and had to borrow from him to have the massage.

This guy is shorter that me (I prefer men either shorter or much taller than me - preferably nothing within 5 cm either side of my height). He had a buzz cut - but somehow stylish. He couldn't have weighed more than 60kg, but strangely very masculine.

We went up to a huge room and he left whilst I showered. Thankfully no paper undies were discussed. He was a man of few words. Little did I care. The sarong used to cover myself on the massage table came off pretty quickly, and the within 10 minutes he had stuck his knee hard up against my balls whilst he was massaging my back. The suggestiveness had started and I was in heaven.

After working on my lower back, he moved around to the top of the table and placed my forearms across my head, so that as he pushed into the table to get at my back, one of my hands was in contact with his crotch. I hesitated - this was the point that I always pause at... waiting for a second sign as it were, removing any doubt. He moved to the side of the table and worked there for a while before returning to the top. I decided to try my luck and moved my fingers ever so slightly, touching what was most assuredly a hard cock.

I was face down and could see nothing, but I heard a belt buckle fumbled with and a zipper undone. Whoa! I looked up and informed him that I had next to no tip to offer as the bf had handed over just enough for the massage and a "reasonable" tip. He shock his head, which I took to mean "don't worry about it". I played with something not unimpressive through the jocks until he unleashed a beautifully uncut cock, that found a waiting mouth. Pants and undies were off in no time and shirt followed. A stunning body in anyone's language even given his lightweight status.

No need to go into further detail, suffice to say that my claim, that I only want the suggestion that something could happen, to be in tatters. This was better than I have had in a long time and it realistically cost me about the equivalent of 650 baht for both the massage and tip.

I retired to the villa a very happy man indeed.

[Nirish guy]

glad that you enjoyed it but I got more of a kick in your ( perhaps albeit inadvertently) getting one over on your BF who ( no doubt) had ensured the amount he loaned you was "just enough and no more" and he no doubt walked home giggling "ha thats no sex for HIM today, I'll show him to go for a massage" lol - I hope you told him all about it when you went home just to rub it in ! lol

[steveky]

Ha ha Nirish! I was all ready to rub it in, but the daggers coming out of his eyes when I got home were enough to convince me that it was not a safe option. Better to live and massage another day...

[steveky]

Day 5

Day 5 was slated in my mind as "Wayan Day". Our true love would be revealed for all to see.... etc., etc.

We started the day at Anomali Coffee, on the recommendation of an Indonesian friend. Downstairs was packed and so we retreated to upstairs which was deserted. Stools and a bench at the corner of the room provided a nice vantage point overlooking the intersection of Jalan Raya Ubud and Jalan Hanoman, and a never-ending stream of hot men flowed past.

There's no table service at this coffee house, but the cake fridge did look inviting (even to a non sweet tooth like myself). The toilet is home to a particularly disturbing piece of art exhorting users to throw neither toilet paper nor tampons into the toilet bowl. I doubt I shall recover.

Next stop was Warong Melting Pot about which we'd read on TripAdvisor yonks ago, and it had been on the list ever since.

The salad that came with the chicken nearly blew my arse out, but the taste of the sauce/veggies with the chicken was divine. Hmmm... I might fall in love with this eatery. We followed later with dessert - and believe me there was no rushing in this establishment. They were happy for us to take our time, and we probably spent the better part of three hours in there.

I could wait no longer. Off to see my future husband, Wayan. We arrived and he was mid-massage with another Aussie who emerged showing some serious bum-crack. Was I jealous? Hell no. I was, however, nearly dying from anticipation.

Seeing Wayan made me realise what it was that drew me to him... he was a dead-set ringer for a guy that I had fallen in lust with 20 years ago in our town. The guy from 20 years ago, however, was Thai. He opened an Asian restaurant serving Thai, Malaysian and Singaporean cuisine and it was a great hit. I never did try to crack onto to him, but was happy to be a distant admirer.

It was clear that this unrequited affection had found a new target in Wayan, he of the easy smile and affable demeanour. Swoon.

I asked to have a shower, and when we went to the curtained area that served as a massage studio, Wayan produced some shorts that he said I should put on. They were board shorts which were pretty well useless in the current situation. As it turned out, he had to push the legs up to get at my thighs during the massage, and they were uncomfortably restrictive to boot. The only purpose they served was to stop the meat and two veg from falling out. I, on the other hand, wanted said meat and two veg out and ready for inappropriate physical attention.

But alas, there was to be none of that. The massage was so above board as to be thoroughly disappointing. There wasn't even an accidental brush or a glancing deflection. My rejection was complete when Wayan, massaging my chest, studiously avoided the nipples. That was the sign that he wasn't doing anything that wasn't kosher, and given I'd tipped for nothing at all two nights ago, I thought I'd given sufficient indication that greater tips would be forthcoming for fantasies fulfilled. It was not to be. Suffice to say - upon reflection - my love for Wayan two days earlier was indeed the mojitos talking.

I retired, out for a duck. But not without hope. Tomorrow I had booked into a full day spa experience. 7 hours of being manhandled. Now that was something to look forward to.

[Nirish guy]

"Better to live and massage another day..."

Oh I don't know, as I always say 'its better to have lubed and lost than never to have lubed at all!" :-)

[steveky]

'its better to have lubed and lost than never to have lubed at all!"

Love it! If that's not copyighted, can I use it?!

[steveky]

Day 6

We started the day early with a motorcycle tour of the surrounding areas of Ubud, in search of a Waroeng offering breakfast. This proved to be way more difficult that expected. We stopped at one place that was full of tourists sprouting redundant phrases such as "Ya know what..." and "I tell ya", and using the word "like" as a comma. I wanted to unleash eternal damnation on them all only marginally less than I wanted to inflict hurt every selfie-stick owner within 500 nautical miles.

But we found an eatery not far from where the all-day day spa activities were to occur and ordered that staple of Indonesian cuisine, Mei Goreng. It was as dull as a dinner party with Angela Merkel. I can't even remember the name of the restaurant, but I sure as fuck won't be going back there.

And thus to Bali Botanica. You can check this place on TripAdvisor. It gets good wraps, and rightfully so. Months ago, I'd booked in for their full day spa experience. You need to book to get into this place, and it was interesting to see the large-scale expansion that had occurred since I was last there two years ago.

I walked in, and the receptionist immediately caught my attention. I crossed my fingers and hoped that he was my man. But then coming up the path I spied a man of milk chocolate skin (exactly the colour of a block of Cadbury's Dairy Milk) and perfect proportions. Please, please, please... YES! He was a Javan, and back to the side of the ledger that counts, that is, the assets!

I was already in heaven without one hand being laid. He mentioned the dreaded paper underpants and I mentioned how fucking horrible they were - and he mentioned that they were optional. An option I chose to reject. We'll call that an early goal.

The day started with a massage and my masseur's touch was to die for. But there was a long day ahead and I wanted to drag it out. At least I thought I did. I turned over, and my cock (having a mind entirely of it's own) sprung to attention. At this point, it is worth remarking that I have an eye cover on - and so I can't see anything. I feel the masseur lift the sarong covering my modesty. And a minute later, he lifts it off all together and touches my trusty Personal Assistant and states simply "excited". This is all I need to declare the day a winner.

The day continued in much the same vein - nothing untoward, but everything aware of and playing to my attraction toward him. He never skirted around the issue, and never took liberties. Rather every contact with him became electric.

It was a long day of bliss, and I went straight to reception and booked him at the next available opportunity. I shall report back post-next visit, but I expect to be thoroughly delighted.

I can't speak highly enough of Spa Botanica. It is a spa of the highest quality, and for the prices charged, you would be hard pressed to find better value in the seven known universes. This is not only recommended, it is alone a reason to visit Bali. Just fucking do it.

[RonanTheBarbarian]

Nice reports steveky, you certainly have a way with description.

What hotel in Ubud are are you staying in - would you recommend it?

[danny99]

Day 2 Back at Milano, and on account of a torrid time with the shower at our accommodation elected to have the Mandi Lulur - massage, body scrub and then bath. The Manager of sorts was quite cute - and I would have liked him to be my masseur. But when he showed my to my room, he produced a pair of ridiculous paper undies for my use. .

Manager, cute?.... have no idea of who you mean. Must be one of the hairdressers, none of the boys would ever suggest you put those stupid plastic pants on? Paris the owner operates 10 spas in Bali, 6 of them in Ubud [was 7 before he sold Modena]...Not all the boys play games but some do.. Joe is the current popular star! Best to book him before hand.

[catawampuscat]

Cannot imagine letting the bf control the money. Really boggles my mind.

[firecat69]

Waiting for Day 7. I could care less about your BF holding the money!!

[danny99]

my travel modus operandi. I travel for food, drink and massages. And well, if the truth be known, enjoying the visual delights of the male species that inhabit our planet

As your heading suggested Bali & KL I assume that KL is after Bali? Do you know it well? I assume you are staying in the Bukhit Bintang area? For food, with enticing eye candy, you can not beat the Vietnamese restaurant Sao Nam, sensational food.. highlights are the Tiger Prawn & Mangosteen Salad, followed by the Duck Breast stewed in tamarind, special features are the two spunky waiters, Justin and Andi [one Burmese and one Vietnamese]...a sneak look at one of them, from their Facebook...

[steveky]

Oh boys, my apologies. I let the trip get the better of me and have let you down with my posting efforts. Will rectify that tonight.


Nice reports steveky, you certainly have a way with description.

What hotel in Ubud are are you staying in - would you recommend it?
Thanks Ronan. We stayed in two places in Ubud. The first was an AirBnB place that I would only recommend to my worst enemy. The second place, however, was outstanding. It was the ThreeWin Homestay, and it truly is the best value for money options in the whole of Bali. IтАЩm going to write a TripAdvisor review, so if I think to do so, IтАЩll post it here. I simply cannot recommend this place highly enough. But book well, well in advance as it only has two rooms.


Manager, cute?.... have no idea of who you mean. Must be one of the hairdressers, none of the boys would ever suggest you put those stupid plastic pants on? Paris the owner operates 10 spas in Bali, 6 of them in Ubud [was 7 before he sold Modena]...Not all the boys play games but some do.. Joe is the current popular star! Best to book him before hand.
You were absolutely correct Danny тАУ the bloke I was referring to was a hairdresser. I met the тАЬManagerтАЭ later and he/she (impossible to determine gender) was a lot of things, but cute was probably not one of them.

ThatтАЩs interesting that you reckon Paris has sold Modena, because the newly located Modena is listed on the advertising material re Milano and ParisтАЩ other salons. Anyway I ended up going to the new Modena, and my experiences (as brief as they were) will be reported on tonightтАж

And yes re Joe. What a great masseur, amongst his many skills. He knows some tricks that could make a grown man blush. He is responsible for making Sumatran my favourite local flavour.


Cannot imagine letting the bf control the money. Really boggles my mind.
Fear not catawampuscat. The bf doesnтАЩt control the purse strings тАУ I was merely borrowing his money for the massage. It was paid back in full the following morning.

Coming back tonight boys. There are more stories, and none of them (thankfully) involve me going to prisonтАж

[steveky]

Waiting for Day 7. I could care less about your BF holding the money!!
Ta Firecat. The bf is very good with money, but understands that whatтАЩs mine is mine and whatтАЩs his is his.


As your heading suggested Bali & KL I assume that KL is after Bali? Do you know it well? I assume you are staying in the Bukhit Bintang area? For food, with enticing eye candy, you can not beat the Vietnamese restaurant Sao Nam, sensational food.. highlights are the Tiger Prawn & Mangosteen Salad, followed by the Duck Breast stewed in tamarind, special features are the two spunky waiters, Justin and Andi [one Burmese and one Vietnamese]...a sneak look at one of them, from their Facebook...
Good guess on Bukit Bintang. WeтАЩre staying at the Furama, just behind Times Square Berjaya. Thanks for the heads up re Sao Nam. Will check it out. And Justin and Andi! That photo of Justin is smokinтАЩ hot. I have to say that KL may not have many outstanding supermodel types, but nearly everyone is doable. I rate KL men a collective 8 (out of 10).

[danny99]

ThatтАЩs interesting that you reckon Paris has sold Modena, because the newly located Modena is listed on the advertising material re Milano and ParisтАЩ other salons. Anyway I ended up going to the new Modena, and my experiences (as brief as they were) will be reported on tonightтАжтАж

The original Modena was long time on Monkey Forest Road, down behind Napi Orti [where strange things used to happen in the early hours of the morning]. The spa in Sanginggan has been renamed Modena [its 4th name since opening] not a lot there, though nice rooms, Wayan is cute and a little bit friendly his little brother is a new masseur there and warrants investigation?

Where do you eat in Ubud, Caf├й des Artistes up on Jln. Bisma is generally the 1st choice of the brotherhood, and best value in Ubud. Incredible fine dining at Cascades, great Euro-Asian at Lamak, best Indo at Warung Enak...it is all in www.balieats.com (http://www.balieats.com)

[steveky]

The original Modena was long time on Monkey Forest Road
I loved the original Modena. It was beautiful, and they used to call the boys from Milano to come down and do the work. IтАЩm sad that it is no more.


Where do you eat in Ubud, Caf├й des Artistes up on Jln. Bisma is generally the 1st choice of the brotherhood, and best value in Ubud. Incredible fine dining at Cascades, great Euro-Asian at Lamak, best Indo at Warung Enak...it is all in http://www.balieats.com
Thanks Danny тАУ I didnтАЩt know about http://www.balieats.com. Will definitely use this in future тАУ great resource. I love Caf├й des Artistes, but no visit this trip as I had a list of new restaurants to try out. Have been тАУ and will continue to тАУ posting/post re all restaurants in each dayтАЩs report. I have had some outstanding meals in Bali this trip. Really only had one dud meal. God, the food is good. Although getting more expensiveтАж but ainтАЩt everything?

Appreciate the tips mate.

[danny99]

тАУ I didnтАЩt know about http://www.balieats.com. Will definitely use this in future тАУ great resource. I have had some outstanding meals in Bali this trip. Really only had one dud meal. God, the food is good. Although getting more expensiveтАж but ainтАЩt everything?.

More expensive...all is relevant...prices are still less than half of Sydney, and the quality and variety of choice rivals there as well. Forgot to mention Hujan Locale, sensational new Ubud place from Will Meyrick [MamaSan and Sarong], ex Longrain in Sydney but way better!

But beware the tourists traps, raves on that degusting Trip Advisor [suburban working class women showing off]...from memory most of the real Top 10 in Ubud are not in the Top 50 of TA.....and always avoid key words like 'organic'...paying more for what isn't?

BTW BaliEats also sends out a free monthly newsletter, great info on what is new in Bali.

[steveky]

Hey Danny

Yeah, literally stumbled across Hujan Locale, only to have a mate recommend it hours later. We didn't up getting there, but it is so on next year's list.

As you rightly say, it is all relative, and I need to remember that. Favourite meal involves duck... but more about this in a later post!

[steveky]

Day 7

We changed hotels today - thank god. The pool of the last place was the only thing going for it. We love our new homestay - the family are absolutely delightful and being there has lifted the whole feeling of the trip immediately. As I mentioned earlier, I will post details of this place, as it really was remarkable.

Time to go down to the coast and check out a massage place or two. I'd researched a couple, but preferred to pay it by ear. There was one in Legian where I'd never failed to get a touch up. Let's see if it could be replicated.

Of course, I muffed it up right royally. Now that I am writing, I realise that there are two places on this one road that have proven forthcoming in recent years. One is passable in the fit-out, the other is a dive, but one guy who works in the dive is extremely accommodating. They are separated by another massage place that I had never been into before.

I went to the first one, and there was only one girl sitting outside. So I moved along and the next salon (that I had not been to previously) had maybe 15 staff outside including a couple of guys. I said to one of them you massage, and he nodded. While I'm perusing the menu, a guy comes out the front of the first salon and start beckoning to me to come over. It's clear as hell he's family - but he was not really my cup of tea. So I ignored him. I choose the 2 hour massage, and then this guy hands me over to another guy. Whoa! But as it happened, the new bloke is marginally cuter, so my indignation is short-lived.

He was a stocky little bloke from the north of Bali with arms to die for. And he had a good touch. But no suggestion of anything untoward. Sigh. He also shortchanged me on time, so that said goodbye to his tip. Moron.

I walked out and the guy that I used to go to was outside the third place (the dive), telling me that he had been trying to get my attention before. I had not noticed, to my eternal disappointment. What a waste of a massage arvo.

We ended up at Skygarden (this would be a truly remarkable club anywhere in the world... that it exists in Bali is extraordinary) and they had an (approx) 250 baht all you could drink and eat for 4 hours deal going. Needless to say, a good time was had by all. And the clientele were very easy on the eye. Not too mention one of the security staff who was very friendly. Not as friendly as I would have liked, but friendly nonetheless.

[steveky]

Day 8

Sort of a lazy day - but the goals remain the same: eat, drink and get pummelled.

We lunched at Laka Leke, a curious place. It's spread out pavillions of different sizes, and a choice of sitting on cushions at low tables, or normal tables and chairs. The set-up appears to be around a twice weekly dance/show they do. The problem with it as a set-up is that you are a-ways from the kitchen, and staff have a torrid time managing this. This makes for manic service, and in fact that was probably our only criticism - the service. It was harried and rushed and no attention to detail - and when things quietened down, they made seemed to want us to finish up too. This was silly as they weren't closing. In any case, I was going nowhere... I was reading a book, and my only desire in the world was to be brought endless beers.

Food was pretty good - including a deconstructed Gado-Gado. Curious, but it worked (despite the lack of crackers).

Regrettably there were no cute staff.

That was a long long lunch (about half a book's worth) and we retired for a nap, before heading out to Modena which had rebadged itself as Modena Male Spa by Milano some time earlier in the year. It had also changed locations as its old site which really was excellent was being redeveloped, we think into a hotel. This was the business that I had mentioned in conversations with Danny earlier.

The new location was in the north-west, just 100 metres past the Bintang Supermarket that is a bit of a landmark in the area.

When we arrived we noticed that word "Male" on the banner outside the premises had been covered up - curious, given the rebranding appeared to have happened in only the last 6 months. I went in that there were no male masseurs on staff. So the receptionist directed me to Sedona, which was directly behind Modena not-so-male Spa.

This facility was interestingly fitted out. The rooms had shown a lot of design nous with four poster canopies, a shower, a claw foot bath, and an outside garden with pond. However, the pond was empty, and the walls only half finished, mostly ugly Besser blocks with a bad cement job. It was curious.

I booked the 90 minute massage, and my masseur was somewhat cute, but nothing to get excited about. I disregarded the dreaded paper undies, and as a result the masseur did spend a lot of time on my arse. But he was also a little bit light of touch, so I can't say that it was amazingly satisfying. And he didn't get near enough to the secret cave entrance that would have afforded him a tip.

Oh and they add sales tax onto the price, but I did not recall seeing this on the price sheet. This is cheap and lazy at best, and underhanded at worst.

Can't say I'll be returning. Another dud in the titilation stakes. Have I used up all my good karma points, and being rewarded by god now for my bad?

[steveky]

Day 9

Starting to get super lazy now. The homestay in which we find ourselves serves up gargantuan breakfasts so most days we don't eat lunch until 2pm or 3pm, and then skip dinner. It's pretty well stuffed up our plans to cross two eateries off the wish list each day.

Today saw us go to Warung Pulau Kelapa, an eatery with an impressive menu despite many things being "Discontinue". We started with Chicken Satay Bumbu Rica-Rica - satay with chilli and onion topping. Spicy and delicious.

Then we had the Pastel Ayam - chook and carrots and supposedly rice noodles, but I couldn't make them out, wrapped in a "savoury flour coating and friedтАЭ. It tasted of pretty much nothing at all. Next: Kroket - mashed potato filled with chook ragout and coated in breadcrumbs before being fried. It was not as ordinary as the Pastel Ayam, but it sure wouldn't set the world on fire.

Finally we ordered Tahu Gejrot or as the menu described it "Pulverised fried tofu with spices typical of Indonesia". I think tofu is a waste of space, but the sauce, the spices referred to in the menu description were exceptional. Pity it wasn't meat.

Staff were disinterested at best, and our waitress had the personality of a bicycle with two flat tires.

But we stayed there until many beers had been dispensed with. And upon leaving I declared it time for my daily massage. I suggested that we go to Milano, the site of some shenanigans just days before. The bf was having none of it, and instead took me to the stupidly named Daisy Spa.

Admittedly the sole guy working was pretty handsome. He had a whole sleeve tattoo up one arm, which doesn't do much for me - but the rest of the package was pretty fine.

The facility he works in was not. Wanted to have a shower - no water. No water even to flush the toilet. The rooms were small - so small that he actually had to move the massage table to get to the other side. And there was only a curtain for a door... and the "spa" (never more of a misnomer than for this place) was noisy as all fuck.

So to the massage. It could almost be described as harried. I don't think he scrimped on the time, but the strokes were quick and frenzied. And that wasn't the worst of it. This bloke must have been a brickie's labourer in his last profession because his hands were as rough as guts. Truly like sandpaper. I do not know why I didn't leave after the first 30 seconds. Perhaps it was the anticipation that something might happen. All pointers should have indicated that it would not happen. Especially given that the bf picked it.

This was actually the second worst massage of my life. The worst was a girl in Cambodia, and I did leave half-way through that one. She was also the last girl ever to massage me.

[catawampuscat]

Thanks for the clarification Steve. There are farangs who give full control of their money to the bf.

[steveky]

Day 10

We started off today lazily. I wasn't speaking to the bf on account of his sabotaging my massage last night, and told him that I would spend today alone. This in turn led to him being strangely deferential today... hmmm. Should I be worried? Or should this be a tactic that I employ more oftenтАж?

When we finally got off our lazy arses we went to one eatery that had long be on the list: Run's Warung, followed by some juices at a wholefood place called Clear which had an amazing outlook, nice juices and pretty outrageous service charges. Can't say I'll be returning. To Clear that isтАж Run's Warung is fabulous with amazing local dishes at local prices.

Anyway, that was all just a fill-in for the main event of the day: a return to the gorgeous man with the Cadbury's dairy milk chocolate skin. I'd also booked the bf in for the same two hour treatment I was having - but with a female masseur. I was not trying to be nasty, it was his choice.

What can I say? It was a dream come true. Everything I had hoped for and more. His attentions were worthy of the tip that he ended up getting, a good tip in Bali (but a fraction of what one would have to pay in BKK).

And not so much as a sneaking suspicion from the "trouble and strife".

[danny99]

Oh and they add sales tax onto the price, but I did not recall seeing this on the price sheet. This is cheap and lazy at best, and underhanded at worst.

It is not sales tax but what you call GST [VAT or TVA depending on the country] . The 10% should be added, separately, to almost every bill you get in Bali [rest, hotel, spa]. There is no need to state it as everyone knows, except Aussies of course who are used to the price shown being all inclusive [unlike the rest of the world who do it like Bali]. If they were to show an all inclusive amount on your bill they would then have to pay 10% tax on the TOTAL of that, so paying the tax twice. Any place that does not add the GST, is obviously not paying it, so they are illegal. However if a service charge is added then that [and the %] should be stipulated on the price list.

You did not say who your therapist was at Sedona? Do not dismiss any place by the non action of one particular guy...they are not brothels, it is up to any individual therapist to offer extra or not, in Ubud area maybe 50% of the boys do, but they are not recruited as such. Of course in the Kerobokan area, [M, M2, Banana, Young Generation, Adam's Apple, etc. etc] they are mostly just simple brothels with minimum tip rules as all offer sex...so no exploring of the unknown, which for me is half the excitement, not knowing what [or who] is coming next?

[steveky]

Nope, can't say I remember the name of the boy at Sedona. He was not really memorable. I will try to be more diligent in future!

[steveky]

Day 11

The final full day in Bali. So sad. Meeting up with other Aussie friends today and so spending the morning attending to emails, and generally being a lazy so-and-so.

I finally dragged my arse out to the rice fields north of Ubud in search of a bar/eatery that had got good wraps on TripAdvisor. Fuck know how all those other travellers ever found it as it is few klicks out of town, and near nothing else of import that I could discern.

The folks who own it and who work there were lovely and they made us feel welcome. The menu contains a delightful "raison d'etre" by the owner, and the offerings including plenty of novel dishes we hadn't seen before. We actually didn't come here to eat, but were tempted by the Sweet and Spicy Grilled Corn, a Sweet Potato entree. I never could resist sweet potato.

They have wireless internet, but it's a little bit slow. One of the things they do provide is insect repellent (at each table) which is very thoughtful and sensible indeed.

Talking about the internet, and whilst we were sitting at Warung Bintang Bali one of our Facebook friends posted that we were near to Made Beciks and we should make a bee-line for it, post-haste. I think her exact words included "Oh, the duck".

Given we were in the neighbourhood, we decided to heed the advice and that was about the best decision we made all trip. We tried both the Betutu Chicken and the Grilled Duck. Both were great, but the duck could best be described as exceptional. I remember dropping a piece of duck meat on the floor and almost tearing up over the sense of loss! Truly, this was the best duck I have ever tasted.

I am only sad that we discovered this on our last day in Bali. I would go back in a heartbeat.

The restaurant has wifi, and also charges neither tax nor a service %'age. There are mossies, so take repellant.

So тАУ last day means last massage. What to do? I am a gambling man, and so taking risks are par for the course. However, I thought about the myriad misses this trip, and went back to Modena. I didnтАЩt have anyone in mind тАУ but was delighted to have been allocated the amazing Sumatran, Joe. Nothing тАУ I mean nothing тАУ could have topped this. I only booked a one hour massage (no idea why) and the massage lasted 10 minutes. As to the reason whyтАж well IтАЩll leave that to your imaginations. What a way to end Bali.

[steveky]

Day 12

This is mostly a travelling day. KL is only three hours away, but there's the getting to the airport in the notorious Denpasar traffic, and then customs and so on. As it was traffic was fine and although check-in was delayed we found ourselves with time enough to go out on search of one final Bali massage. That wasn't to be as of the two that we came across, one had no staff and the other all female staff. Thanks, but no thanks.

So we consoled ourselves with beers in an airport bar. The Denpasar airport has come a long way since I was last here mid-2015. The eating and drinking options have greatly expanded, although prices (like any airport) are too high. Our flight was a delayed half an hour, but there were so many hot men in the airport, I could have cared less.

The bf was quite sad to be leaving Bali which was interesting. He's previously lived in Bali whilst studying for his PhD, so maybe it was that familiarity, or maybe it was the realisation that reality (work and study) was just around the corner.

Finally onto Kuala Lumpur. Many people I know rag this city out, but I like it a lot. Not as much as like Bangers, but hey, they are two very different beasts.

We checked into our hotel in Bukit Bintang, and whilst the room was nothing to write home about, the Exec Lounge was a treat. Two hours of unlimited cocktails each night, and I have since discovered that I can consume a considerable number of Daiquiris in two hours. The staff were great, and one of them in particular was not adverse to a flirt. We talked a lot about his calves for some reason.

We were joined by a mate from Singapore and headed off to Blue Boy, that bastion of seedy bar activity. I once remarked to a mate that if you canтАЩt pick up at Blue Boy, you are probably dead.

Those were words I had to reconsider tonight as whilst we were there (about 1┬╜ hours), only 20 guys showed up тАУ and they were all expats or tourists. Not a single Malay, Chinese or Indian to be seen. Apart from the staff that is, and they were not going to receive Mr Universe nominations any time soon.

We left slightly disappointed (but of course hiding said disappointment just in case the bf take umbrage). And that was KL day one. When rereading this account it sounded dull тАУ but I have to say I was greatly buoyed by being in KL again. I really do like this city. And the menfolk тАУ as I mentioned in an earlier post тАУ are (whilst not outstanding) uniformly fuckable. Malay, Chinese, IndianтАж even the expats here are cute.

And we had an outstanding view of that marvel in architectural style, the Petronas Twin Towers, from our hotel window. What, exactly, is not to like?

[danny99]

headed off to Blue Boy, that bastion of seedy bar activity. I once remarked to a mate that if you canтАЩt pick up at Blue Boy, you are probably dead.
Those were words I had to reconsider tonight as whilst we were there (about 1┬╜ hours), only 20 guys showed up тАУ and they were all expats or tourists. Not a single Malay, Chinese or Indian to be seen. Apart from the staff that is, and they were not going to receive Mr Universe nominations any time soon. We left slightly disappointed
You were lucky to get out of Bali as the airport has been closed since Wednesday afternoon, volcanic ash from Lombok.

I thought that everyone knew that Blue Boy only 'works' Friday and Saturday nights after 11.00 p.m, it half works Sundays same time. I was there one Monday night along with 5 other expats!! But you are right Fridays and Saturdays are wild....you can not walk along that unlit lane to the toilets without being groped, I usually walk very slowly.

As you missed out on eating at Hajun Locale in Ubud, you should try MamaSan at KLCC, similar menu [but KL prices of course] as also by Will Merrick.

[danny99]

The restaurant charges neither tax nor a service charge.

You seem to be a bit paranoid about Bali's tax and service charge.

Any place that does not charge tax is illegal and a big rip-off.

The Service charge is for the staff, supposedly shared equally between all non-executive staff NOT the owner [although sadly with locally owned places that is not always the case!]. Do you have any idea how much the locals get paid?? The min legal salary for Gianyar [Ubud area] is about Rp1,900,000 [say $A190]..per MONTH for 6 day weeks. Most who work for a local owner do not even get that. That is one of the reasons why pregnant waitresses work almost till the baby comes, even if husband and wife both working almost impossible to live on that, it is only barely possible as almost ALL Balinese live rent free in their family compound [the boys stay there after marriage the girls move to husband's compound, permanently leaving their own family!], unless they are working away from home then must rent a room [Rp.500,000 out of their wages], and only eat rice or noodles...A good monthly service charge is their only hope!

I shudder every time I hear a tourist ask a waiter or barman...what is your favourite restaurant? What a joke, that tourist's bill for dinner that night, with drinks, is probably more than that Balinese earns in a month! They only EVER go to a restaurant, in their lifetime, if a tourist takes them.

[firecat69]

Danny99,

Thanks for those facts . In some way it explains why boys value a meal and drinks and maybe some sightseeing as much as what the minimur rate will be.

It will be almost 10 months before my visit but my conversations on Romeo and Hornet certainly provide reasons to hope for a great experience.

[danny99]

Danny99,

Thanks for those facts . In some way it explains why boys value a meal and drinks and maybe some sightseeing as much as what the minimur rate will be.

Minimum rate? You must be referring to prostitutes? As a general rule they are not Balinese, but from Java, mainly Surabaya and Central Java. They would like the meal drinks and money.

Whilst a straight Balinese boy [waiter, barman, mini mart worker, etc., although some of them are imported as well] will readily accept an offer for drinks, eats [you must be careful to match the boy and the restaurant/caf├й so they are relaxed enough to enjoy], maybe play afterwards, and be VERY grateful for a little unsolicited financial assistance ...they are not cold calculating prostitutes like those who hang out at the gay bars and use Romeo, etc

[rexton]

I wonder why there was a sudden stop to steveky's reports?