bucknaway
June 22nd, 2015, 09:35
over the years I've met some really nice guys. some are more memorable than others but for the most part they're all unforgettable. with every new trip I get to meet new guys from all over but it is the Thai guys that I enjoy myself with most. I'm lucky to have if you true friends but I can enjoy myself with and feel confident knowing but they will be there for me when I return.
The sad part, is losing contact with those cherished friends. some find lovers and move away, some find jobs in faraway lands, some just seem to disappear, and others simply pass away. recently I just heard from a friend that he will be leaving Thailand and moving to Switzerland. right away I felt sorry for myself wondering what I would do in Thailand without him. I think for while I took our friendship for granted and only now do I treasure it for what it was.
It made me think about the other guys I have met. not just friends, and not just lovers. but people what made a difference in my life, and people, who ive made a positive difference in their life. No, I didn't sleep with everyone that I met in thailand, I like to think that I'm fondly thought of by the people I have met, not just those whose friendship I have taken for granted. Like my massage friend in Pattaya I've known for a few years. I truly liked him, but not enough to carry his burden.(I've already bailed him out of jail once) I only see him and talk to him when I am there on vacation. over the years I can see time taking its toll on him. before the Sun Goes Down he is nearly drunk on the beach. his shotty clothes tell me that life is not being kind to him. but our friendship is only a friendship of business. I like him, but I can't change his life. I know that each time that I see him maybe the last time that I see him.
Another person I've known over the years was a guy I have met a few years ago. I met him on the beach and wanted to help him. He was attractive but I could tell he was trouble. he wanted to shower in my room and I allowed it. I cought him several times trying to sneak about my room only guessing what he was up to. another time when I was in my room watching TV on a different day, he just walked into my room without knocking and I had no idea he was coming.
I won't describe him, only to say he was very handsome but it was all so obvious that he was on drugs. at the drop of a hat he would pretend crying and just as fast he would end the pretense. so on this meeting he cried telling me he needed money to go home. he told me he needed 500 baht. I gave him a little more than that and we parted ways and I did not see him for a few years until recently.
I was sitting in a beach chair when he came up to me and asked if I remembered him. right away I knew who he was. he didn't look as innocent or is handsome. I figured the drugs had erased some of his male beauty. we didn't have much to say and he end up moving on. I often wondered what became of him and although I got to see him again I still don't know what became of him.
even now I look at the contact list on my phone with over a hundred names and numbers of guys in Thailand and I only know a handful of them. I'm sure I met quite a few of them but I would never be able to match the actual person to the name that is stored on my phone.it has gotten so bad that now when I save the name in my phone I put the year next to the name so I can remember when I met them.
each time I meet someone and spend time with them they are the most important person to me and mean a lot to me up until they are on the other side of the door or my plane lands back in the USA. once I get my luggage they are only a memory.
sometimes I think the life of a butterfly is wearing down on me, the many guys that come and go, forgotten faces, forgotten names. A phone full of names and numbers, never really making any real contact and often finding it difficult to want to know anyone past morning. so when my friend told me he was leaving I almost felt like he was telling me he had died. true friendships are hard to replace. they're very hard to replace when you're a foreigner visiting Thailand. I think if I'm lucky enough to find another genuine friend in Thailand I hope I won't take that friendship for granted.
(this post was dictated using my android tablet)
The sad part, is losing contact with those cherished friends. some find lovers and move away, some find jobs in faraway lands, some just seem to disappear, and others simply pass away. recently I just heard from a friend that he will be leaving Thailand and moving to Switzerland. right away I felt sorry for myself wondering what I would do in Thailand without him. I think for while I took our friendship for granted and only now do I treasure it for what it was.
It made me think about the other guys I have met. not just friends, and not just lovers. but people what made a difference in my life, and people, who ive made a positive difference in their life. No, I didn't sleep with everyone that I met in thailand, I like to think that I'm fondly thought of by the people I have met, not just those whose friendship I have taken for granted. Like my massage friend in Pattaya I've known for a few years. I truly liked him, but not enough to carry his burden.(I've already bailed him out of jail once) I only see him and talk to him when I am there on vacation. over the years I can see time taking its toll on him. before the Sun Goes Down he is nearly drunk on the beach. his shotty clothes tell me that life is not being kind to him. but our friendship is only a friendship of business. I like him, but I can't change his life. I know that each time that I see him maybe the last time that I see him.
Another person I've known over the years was a guy I have met a few years ago. I met him on the beach and wanted to help him. He was attractive but I could tell he was trouble. he wanted to shower in my room and I allowed it. I cought him several times trying to sneak about my room only guessing what he was up to. another time when I was in my room watching TV on a different day, he just walked into my room without knocking and I had no idea he was coming.
I won't describe him, only to say he was very handsome but it was all so obvious that he was on drugs. at the drop of a hat he would pretend crying and just as fast he would end the pretense. so on this meeting he cried telling me he needed money to go home. he told me he needed 500 baht. I gave him a little more than that and we parted ways and I did not see him for a few years until recently.
I was sitting in a beach chair when he came up to me and asked if I remembered him. right away I knew who he was. he didn't look as innocent or is handsome. I figured the drugs had erased some of his male beauty. we didn't have much to say and he end up moving on. I often wondered what became of him and although I got to see him again I still don't know what became of him.
even now I look at the contact list on my phone with over a hundred names and numbers of guys in Thailand and I only know a handful of them. I'm sure I met quite a few of them but I would never be able to match the actual person to the name that is stored on my phone.it has gotten so bad that now when I save the name in my phone I put the year next to the name so I can remember when I met them.
each time I meet someone and spend time with them they are the most important person to me and mean a lot to me up until they are on the other side of the door or my plane lands back in the USA. once I get my luggage they are only a memory.
sometimes I think the life of a butterfly is wearing down on me, the many guys that come and go, forgotten faces, forgotten names. A phone full of names and numbers, never really making any real contact and often finding it difficult to want to know anyone past morning. so when my friend told me he was leaving I almost felt like he was telling me he had died. true friendships are hard to replace. they're very hard to replace when you're a foreigner visiting Thailand. I think if I'm lucky enough to find another genuine friend in Thailand I hope I won't take that friendship for granted.
(this post was dictated using my android tablet)