How reddit helped father to get his son to admit being gay

[lonelywombat]

This was published in the Daily Mail.Great story. helps put things back into normal after all these anti gay actions all over the world.
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How Reddit guided one single dad to gently coax his son to open up about his homosexuality
By JOSH GARDNER FOR MAILONLINE

PUBLISHED: 10:46 AEST, 17 November 2014 | UPDATED: 10:46 AEST, 17 November 2014

A single dad who stumbled upon some Google searches suggesting his son is gay took to reddit for advice on how subtly coax the news out of the 13-year-old.

The redditor, who goes by the screen name HeMeYou, posted his touching query earlier this month and the story--and how it touchingly played out--has since gone viral.

The original post began: 'I'm 38, and a single dad to my 13 year old son...the other day I asked my son if I could borrow his iPad...I noticed that he forgot to delete his history as a lot of the search terms were along the lines of "I'm gay what now?" etc...'

'I love him regardless of which gender he loves': A single dad who stumbled upon some Google searches suggesting his son is gay took to reddit for advice on how subtly coax the news out of the 13-year-old

The response from redditors was fast and emphatic. The father soon had a trove of helpful hints and his son soon felt comfortable enough to come out

HeMeYou wanted to know how to proceed with his son to make sure the boy understood 'I love him regardless of which gender he loves.'

The response from fellow redditors was swift.

'Google "how to tell my son I will love and support him no matter what" and leave it in his search history. :)' said the top commenter.

Others told their own stories of coming out and how their fathers dealt with the subject. Still others urged HeMeYou to find subtle ways to let his son know he's supportive.

Armed with hundreds of helpful hints, HeMeYou began his campaign to empower his son to come out to him.

'I started off with talking about general media with him, for instance I mentioned how awesome it was that Tim Cook came out,' he wrote.

Then, after picking him up from school soon after, HeMeYou asked his son if he has any school crushes.
'So who is the lucky person,' asked HeMeYou, being careful not to specify any gender.

The dad said his son seemed taken aback that his father wasn't asking about 'girlfriends,' specifically.

IтАЩm the happiest father on earth right now
'Well, whoever it is, they should be so lucky to have you as a boyfriend,' the father said.

That very night, HeMeYou's son decided it was time.

'I actually wanted to tell you something in the car, but I was afraid youтАЩd get in an accident,' he said at the dinner table. 'IтАЩm gay.'

HeMeYou wrote: 'I had my arm around him and he was leaning his head on my chest, and all I could think of was that IтАЩm the happiest father on earth right now.'

Nearly 1,000 total comments came out of the post, the story of which also became one of Buzzfeed's most read stories.

HeMeYou continued the discussion, and gracefully accepted the praise thrown his way for his delicate handling of the situation.

'I think that as long as the parents keep a loving relationship with their children and really emphasize that no matter what, theyтАЩll love their child, it will be as easy as it can get for the children of this day in age,' he wrote.

[christianpfc]

Interesting story, but I think age 13 is far too early determine sexual orientation.

Although I knew at a similar age that I like boys (meaning finding boy's bodies far more interesting to look at than girl's bodies), only during my twenties did I give up hope that that might change into finding girls interesting.

I want to say after ten years of finding boys more interesting than girls, it's safe to say that I'm gay (although there are reports of people changing sexual orientation at elevated age), but if a 13 year old likes boys, that might just be a phase he is going through.

[Nirish guy]

Interesting story, but I think age 13 is far too early determine sexual orientation.
Whilst I accept at that age a persons hormones can be all over the place then what age WOULD you suggest might be a suitable age to allow them to determine their sexuality at that time? My view is whenever they feel they want to as it's not up to anyone else to tell them that and if they want to change that definition at some point in the future then so be it, but at that point in time it's their decision and that should be respected.



Although I knew at a similar age that I like boys ......only during my twenties did I give up hope that that might change ........"

The term "did i give up HOPE that that might change" implies you may have or may have had quite a negative view of being gay in some way, is this what might be stopping you simply accepting that the boy could indeed just simply be gay and trying to "buy him time" to see can he get rid of his "affliction" perhaps ?



want to say after ten years of finding boys more interesting than girls, it's safe to say that I'm gay (although there are reports of people changing sexual orientation at elevated age), but if a 13 year old likes boys, that might just be a phase he is going through.

Or as i've already said above, he might just be gay and we should accept that fact just as easily as we accept that he just might be straight as to do otherwise implies ( to him) a negative view of his gayness by others. To be the simple answer to his "I think Im gay" statement ( no matter what age he says it) is a simple "oh ok then" and move on as if it's nothing ( as it IS nothing in the bigger scheme of things) and if he changes his mind then so be it, but that's his choice and is not up to others to dissuade or suggest he "thinks about it before committing himself to that" or otherwise. ( and I know you didn't say that I'm merely making an example).

At a pinch the lesser of two evils I guess might be to say " oh really ok, well hey, who knows, you're young and these things can be known to change in people as they get older, but if you are then whatever, good for you"and if you're not then again whatever, it doesn't really matter either way."

[joe552]

I broadly agree with NIrish on this one.

When I was growing up in Ireland in the 60s there were no homosexuals - except for a couple of well-know theatre types - but they didn't really provide good role models for a working-class boy like myself. Still, I managed to have my first sexual experience at 14 with an older man (he was a young 20 something) with whom I worked. Even then, I didn't come out till I was in my 20s, while gay sex was still illegal here.

So I applaud this young boy and his father - and if, as NIrish says, he changes his mind later and meets a nice girl, then so be it. Good luck to him, I say.

[Wesley]

Acceptance is what the young man needs, at 13 he may not be a man but, he sure feels like one. I had a number of gay experiences at 13 and 14 with mostly friends of the family my age. Of the 5 or 6 in which I jacked off with or went a little further in a couple of cases, all of those guys grew up to be straight as far as I know. I left the area and came back and all of those guys had kids and seemed happy or were divorced and remarried. What can I say, that they have gay feelings even feelings of affection for guys, 13 is no age to determine that but acceptance and support with whatever is up to the father. I wish my father had been so keen but it was not the age of the internet then. If someone had access to my computer now, it would take only five minutes for them to figure it out. At 17 I was in love with a 15 year old that died in a car I was recklessly driving. Thinking God must have caused all of that to judge me at 18 I married and later divorced at 28. I have never had a happier days than when I came out to the world to a then sheltered wife and family. My dad never mentioned it again. My mother died before finding out and my sister took me in while my brother never spoke to me again. Life hits us with a lot of surprises and we deal with them as best as we know how. I think the story of the man and his son is great , but it does not always happen so easily.

[christianpfc]

"stumbled upon some Google searches suggesting his son is gay"

I have some google searches for straight porn on my computer!

I still think this story is over-zealous political correctness. Leave the boy in peace!

I still think this story is over-zealous political correctness. Leave the boy in peace!Agreed - way too obsessive parenting.