1 year ago [Archive] - Sawatdee Gay Thailand the oldest and most popular gay forum on Thailand and South East Asia

expathetic

October 20th, 2014, 07:57

I am not a newbie here however I have used a different pseudonym.
It's been 1 year since I attended a funeral of a great man of Pattaya.Im surprised there has been no mention of his anniversary.
Monty a well known bar owner and philanthropist passed away last September 2013,his body lay in a mortuary whilst his family sorted out his affairs.
I attended his Funeral a year ago to this month,myself and ONLY one other Falang.
Despite doing a lot for many falangs including helping countless with money problems,medical care including his HIV work only two others attended.
I do understand others have obligations BUT many who live in Pattaya couldn't even be bothered to pay their last respects to a Great Man who had enthusiasm and energy to help others and install Charity programs to benefit us as a Community.
It's been 12 months and today I gave him a thought.We were the only family he had and ironically the one other falang who attended had just met him.

I said my part.

Nirish guy

October 21st, 2014, 15:58

I said my part.

Well "actually" you didn't, your pseudonym did, not quite the same as surely if you felt strongly enough to post such a (valid) point you also could have felt equally strong enough to put your existing online name to that view as to not does devalues your point somewhat in my view anyway.

For the record and without talking about Monty specifically here as whilst I don't disagree with your view obviously not everyone may share that same view.

So speaking generally I think you're saying that it's sad that people don't mark or attend such occasions more for each other there in Pattaya ? If so I think the problem there is that maybe expecting or projecting or placing Western style living and standards onto Pattata Expats and their daily way of living and thinking.

From the expats I've spoken with over the years and from what I've observed here on the boards etc, let's face it most expats are in Pattaya living for 100% their own, dare I say it, selfish reasons ( whether that be sun, boys, low cost living, BOYS etc - which there is absolutely nothing wrong with of course by the way, but after them living in the West and "playing the game" community wise if they then decide "ok, screw this, I'm moving for some ME time now" and thus extract themselves away from mainstream farang "community" thinking and the responsibilities that go with that life then one shouldn't perhaps be surprised that when it's "expected" at the other end its simply not there, as that is after all maybe just one of the reasons why they partly went to the likes of Pattaya to get away from such responsibilities and "duties" perhaps in the first place.

So, to then hope or expect those same people to turn round and display those same "community" bonds or spirit that you seek for those departed seems at best "hopeful" to say the least as that goes against the very essence of why they are living in the likes of Pattaya ?

And before any expats get up in arms over my statement, it's not intended as a criticism in any way and more just as an observation as this in my view when ones moves to the likes of Pattaya is one of the small downsides that may arise from time to time when relocating to "suit myself central" which offsets that very same sun, cheap living and on tap boys etc and if that close bond of friendship and community is something that one still hankers over it seems that when moving to the likes of of Pattaya that this is one of things you sacrifice and that one can't have things both ways.

Is it right and is it nice that things are like that, I don't know, but it certainly seems to be the ongoing pattern regarding paying respects to the deceased in Pattaya and the likes if nothing else - and I should add this isn't of course limited to Pattaya and is the same in most expat communities where people have relocated to "suit themselves"?

Or am I wrong ?