Philippines reports?

[extronaut]

Is it any good there? Certainly a lot of promising entries on Romeo.

Anyone been there, and able to offer the benefit of experience?

[a447]

Obviously not, judging by the lack of replies.

I get the impression that it is all too hard to have fun in the Philippines, compared to Thailand.

If someone could persuade me otherwise, I'd be off there in a shot.

[Nirish guy]

ha ha well now you can nearly guess who's going to reply to that ....... :-) There's sex a plenty in the PH's ( and then some) whether it be paid ( and at half the price of Thailand! ) in the (few) gay bars in Malate etc or online or just walking about the place, whilst PH guys are a little more reserved about their sexuality as thanks to the Church when I was there no one is "gay" there just Bi ( SO not true of course) but once past that minor fun hiccup I can assure you that PH guys are as hot as hell in the sack just like Thai guys and are very fond of partying with one or more guys just as the night goes with no inhibitions. I also found that they are ( and this might cause some to Tut in annoyance) a little (lot) more genuine than some of the average gay guys I've met in BKK or Pattaya and I'm actually starting to sway towards both PH and Bali guys over my usual Thai friends ( although some Thai's still have the edge when it comes to looks I think for sure) - so to answer your question, yes there's plenty of action to be had in the PH's, albeit at a slightly different pace than Thailand perhaps, but action none the less and once you get out of Manilla ( which is a shit hole) it's a very beautiful country too with great beaches and lovely people ( although I should probably declare that I've a PH BF here at home right now as well as a PH guy in Bkk who I'm very close too as well just now so that MAY be swaying my preferences just a little - give it a few weeks and no doubt it'll be somewhere else that gets top marks lol)

[joe552]

My first taste of Asia was a few weeks in PH in the mid 90s. Had a lot of fun in bars around Malate. I'm sure it's changed a lot since then, but I could be persuaded to return.

[a447]

Keep the posts coming, NIrish - you're beginning to persuade me!

[extronaut]

Thanks Nirish.

Seems that accommodation in Malate is a bit pricey though (compared to Thailand). On agoda, seems to be around $60/n for a 3 star place with a decent review score, on average.

Or am I just looking in the wrong places?

[GWMinUS]

This old Dad, or Tito, has been visiting the PHs for 8 years.
I find the guys there much more loving and fun to go out with than the guys I meet in Thailand.
And for me at 73 yo it is great to meet younger men who really enjoy making love to a Daddy!!
Of course, you must be careful. Many Filipino, or Pinoy men, are looking for a Westerner to take them out of the poverty of the Philippines. And they can play you just like a sweet "straight" Thai man.
My advice is to get out of Manila!!
As Nirish says, Manila is a shit hole.
Fly to Cebu instead. Many many handsome guys in Cebu and nice restaurants and close beaches.
I often stay at the Crown Regency Towers for US$60 per nice, double room, with two free breakfasts.
No problem bringing anyone back to your room.
I also love Davao, on Mindanao. And YES it is very safe!!! The Mayor keeps a tight hand on crime and any hint of terrorists.
Again, beautiful beaches across the channel on Samal.
And many less expensive hotel to choose from.
GOOD LUCK!!!
And as they say in Tagalog, INGAT (Take care!!!)

[GWMinUS]

OH one other piece of advice...
Avoid the Go Go Bars in Manila. The drinks are expensive and the dancers are out for tips.
And off costs at least US$100 and the guy is probably straight.
Enjoy the Gay Bars in Malate. they are centered around Remedios Circle.
But things do not even get started in the Bars until 1-2AM!!! Things close down at 5-6AM if at all.
So take a nap, go out late for dinner, and then enjoy an all nighter at the Bar...

[francois]

And for me at 73 yo it is great to meet younger men who really enjoy making love to a Daddy!!


A friend is a frequent traveler to the Philippines who advertises as a Daddy on GayRomeo looking for bottom boys. They come flocking to him for a f***ing; he claims they can't get enough of it.

[Jellybean]

Just stumbled upon this interesting topic today. Thanks for posting such great information GWMinUS.

IтАЩve never been to the Philippines, but have had many lads from the Philippines contact me on the тАШnet. Very soon after saying a casual тАШhelloтАЩ, which I didnтАЩt really expect to go further, they have always responded very quickly and very positively. But the conversations, quite naturally I suppose, led on to requests to come and visit them. As IтАЩve no plans at present to visit the Philippines IтАЩve been honest and told them that. But despite this, some have still continued to contact me from time to time and tried to persuade me to change my mind.

Now I donтАЩt answer any new requests from lads in the Philippines as I canтАЩt see me going there any day soon. And I wouldnтАЩt want to mislead them or waste their time. However, if the day comes when I want to give the Philippines a try, then the information provided by GWMinUS will prove invaluable.

IтАЩve said this before, but once IтАЩve landed in Thailand I seem most reluctant to try somewhere new. And reports on other places such as Siem Reap by Arsenal, on another topic, tend to confirm my worst fears. Perhaps I need to be more adventurous like a447. When I get around to meeting him I must see if any of his sense of adventure rubs off on me. ;)

[goji]

OH one other piece of advice...
Avoid the Go Go Bars in Manila. The drinks are expensive and the dancers are out for tips.
And off costs at least US$100 and the guy is probably straight.
Enjoy the Gay Bars in Malate. they are centered around Remedios Circle.
But things do not even get started in the Bars until 1-2AM!!! Things close down at 5-6AM if at all.
So take a nap, go out late for dinner, and then enjoy an all nighter at the Bar...

This is no good..... $100 off fees in gogo bars or having to stay up beyond 1:00 am.
It's nice to visit a gogo bar, have your off fixed by 9:00 pm & at the end of the night, still have change from that $100.

[GWMinUS]

I do think many Filipino guys are sincere in wanting to meet Older White Men, or other foreigners.
However their motivation is often to get the hell out of the Philippines!!!
Or to have a man who will take good care of them...
HUM, maybe that sounds so much like Thailand??
For me the attraction of Filipino guys is that they speak English!!!
I loved Thai men, but had a difficult time sharing a conversation with them.
My fault because I could never learn to speak Thai.
SO, go to the Philippines. The beaches are beautiful and the men are hot!!!
As they say in Tagalog... INGAT

[lego]

I do think many Filipino guys are sincere in wanting to meet Older White Men, or other foreigners.
However their motivation is often to get the hell out of the Philippines!!!
Great point. I just chatted with a Pinoy on GayRomeo yesterday. Having just returned from his second short visit to Bangkok, he's desperately looking for someone who'd help him relocate from the Philippines to Bangkok for an extended stay (ideally for good). Not a bad option, maybe, for those expats in Thailand who are looking for a boyfriend and who happen to be sick and tired of Thai boys (that doesn't include myself, I'm just mentioning it because I've been subjected to their whining and bitching a lot recently).

[a447]

Not a bad option, maybe, for those expats in Thailand who are looking for a boyfriend and who happen to be sick and tired of Thai boys (that doesn't include myself, I'm just mentioning it because I've been subjected to their whining and bitching a lot recently).

I'd just keep wondering how long the boyfriend experience would last before he strayed.

[LoveThailand]

Philippines have many beautiful places. However, for me Thais are incomparably more attractive. So.

[colmx]

who happen to be sick and tired of Thai boys (that doesn't include myself, I'm just mentioning it because I've been subjected to their whining and bitching a lot recently).
You have obviously never had to deal with the whining and bitching of a pinoy boy LOL!
When scorned (or when they perceive they have been scorned) the retaliation of a Fillipino boy makes a Thai boy seem like the Dalai Lama!
Besides that it seems that the Fillipino surgeons love to butcher the boys cocks at circumcision time and leave them looking like amputated turkey necks!
(Sorry NIrishguy!)

[attachment=0:1qsy8cg1]imagesCAWWQTBI.jpg[/attachment:1qsy8cg1]

Give me a placid buddhist uncut Thai boy any day

[catawampuscat]

Just heard first hand report of farang visiting Philippines and having to flee to the
airport. Farang negotiated price with a large muscled boy. After the deed was done,
the boy demanded many times the agreed price. The boy threatened the farang and
told him that he knew who he was, where he was and had friends that would make the
farang regret it if he didn't fork over hundreds of US dollars.
Farang paid, packed bags,checked out and fled to the airport.
My guess would be a gayromeo date or a street pickup. Didn't ask.
Shakedowns can happen anyplace of course.

[bjbjboy]

My trips to the Philippines have been great. I've done a few 3-day visits just to Manila, stayed in the city and it's a nice break. I'd recommend it if you, like me, enjoy getting to know places that tourists don't visit: (sorry I don't remember names, but it's easily found I'm sure) the church with the black Jesus (!), the teeming market around that area, the old historic areas. Also, because few tourists come, I think your chances of finding a very hot, willing, and NOT looking for money Pinoy is quite possible, even more so than Thailand.
My visits to Manila, usually staying at the Hyatt (soon to be rebranded) in Malate. I prefer Malate because it feels more Filipino, and is walking distance to some nice restaurants and most of the gay clubs and bars. Also quite close to the airport.
Makati is the business and shopping area. I have also stayed at the Intercontinental Makati, and it was lovely with a good gym and great shopping across the street.
Let's just stay that, if you put your Gay Romeo profile up in Manila, you will get A LOT of replies. A LOT! I actually think I got about 300+ messages. I know that some may have been looking for money, but my profile is very direct that I'm not paying any money. And I repeat it in conversations.
Maybe I just got lucky, but I got plenty of replies from professional guys in their 20s and 30s. I even made a lifelong friend, who ended up travelling with me around the Philippines for 3 weeks on my next visit (I paid for his air tickets, and we split hotel costs, and he paid for reasonable meals). Agree that getting out of Manila is a great idea; a bit harder to meet guys in smaller cities but quite possible. We went to Bohol, Dumaguete, and Siquijor. I can highly recommend all 3! No chain hotels to be found, but plenty of good options and tons of reviews about hotels in English from domestic Filipino travellers on travel websites.
I think if you're looking at 22yo guys who don't have jobs, you should expect to pay money....but that's quite often true in BKK too.
As for Thai guys being better looking: if you offer me a tall, lean 25yo muscle guy from either country, I'll be just fine :ymhug:
Completely agree about the weird circumcision techniques btw!
Oh and I've found that, in general, Filipino guys are ready for a relationship after, oh, 3 minutes-- so yes it's harder to say goodbye than in Thailand. But that said, I'd still go back anytime.
Sorry for the random notes in here, but as you can see in general I like the Philippines; that said, I did choose to visit Thailand this year in July (3 weeks: 10 days in BKK, 4 in Khon Kaen, and 5 in Chiang Mai)-- and I loved Khon Kaen, mostly because of my reasoning above about liking the Philippines because there are literally almost zero foreign tourists in most Filipino cities; another reason why I'm completely not interested in visiting Boracay, the ONLY place in the country that has successfully been promoted as a tourist place. Amazing beaches, great food, friendly guys, beautiful jungles, etc all over the place, and the only place that foreigners seem to want to visit is Boracay? Yikes what a shambles of a government tourist office.....

[Wesley]

I put in 4 years there and had more sex than I have had in all my life put together and 90% was free but I was living as a local lives so most knew I could pay but knew I didn't have too. Most of the guys just like white guys in bed better. The Catholic Church there really has no influence and most are openly out or would be if they could afford it financially. Although they lov3 family most thier BF would make a close second.

[Nirish guy]

Besides that it seems that the Fillipino surgeons love to butcher the boys cocks at circumcision time and leave them looking like amputated turkey necks! (Sorry NIrishguy!)

HA WHAT SURGEON MIGHT THAT BE !?? Ha its funny that this conversation has come up just now as only earlier this week I was standing in the kitchen talking to my PH BF and ( jokingly) waved a kitchen knife at him if he didn't bugger off and let me get on with the cooking ( I can't imagine why they think us farang are strange at all sometimes lol) to which he ( again jokingly) quickly reclined away from me saying that he was scared of knives and to stop it immediately ( party pooper !) but when I asked why he was scared he replied ( not joking this time ) "I'm scared even since my mum circumsized me! " to which I nearly dropped the heavy pan I was carrying shouting "WHAT !" He then went on to explain ever so calmly and in such an every day sort of way that "oh yes when my mum circumsized me it hurt like hell for days" - I then asked a) What the hell was his mum was doing doing that in the first place ( I'd forgotten she is a nurse) and b) I asked what age he was - to which he replied he was 11 ! I asked was that not a bit old and he said "oh no, I was very late in getting it done as I was scared so she always put off doing it to me and ......just DID ALL THE OTHER BOYS IN MY CLASS FIRST !!! ( again pan nearly hit the floor by this stage)

I couldn't believe what I was hearing but yes apparently it's part of their culture at around that age all guys ( have to) get it done when in the same class and age group when in school and if you didn't you'd get called names by your classmates in a bog way and be called and assumed to be "dirty" down there ( as he was as he wouldn't have it done in the beginning). I asked was there no doctor there to do it and he just shrugged his shoulders and said "no need" as my mum does all the boys in the town and they who apparently all get it done in the week before school closes for the summer holidays so they can then run round in massive baggy tee shirts and not much else until their tackle heals - needless to say as I'm uncut ( and staying that way) I've declined every offer he's every made for me to go and have dinner with his folks just in case his mum shouts "dirty" boy and reaches for the bread knife - I do believe that he also told me that no anaesthetic was used either but I may have misheard that as only local anaesthetic was used as I was to busy burning the steaks by that point and still reeling from the mother part of the story.

However as a further aside to this I should be safe enough as I recently had a conversation with said BF where he told me how much ( or how little) he was giving his parents as "housekeeping" for when he stayed there and not here and I pointed out how little this was in real terms and how as he'd just got a new better paying job here in a hospital that he really should consider doing the decent thing and giving them a little ( or a lot) more perhaps, which to be fair to him he did, his parents then asked him what sparked his sudden burst of generosity ( as like all younger Asian guys he wouldn't be known for easily agreeing to simply GIVE money away) so when he told him actually it was my idea I was of course immediately number one favour of the month "son in law" with his folks and dinner invites have been flying in every since ( again large knife and uncut cock so all offers have been politely but firmly declined :-) - hmmm funny too how they've gone from not being happy about him being gay and being gay with an older white guy to now thinking I'm the best thing since sliced bread after getting them a "rise" - strange that eh ! :-)

However knowing what I know about Asian guys I am of course just now waiting to see how much HIS raise to his folks is going to cost ME ! ( I am joking there as to be fair to him he never asks, gets or expects a penny over and apart from what I'd happily normally spend here anyway on meals out or weekends away and stuff with any BF, Asian or otherwise no matter where he happened to come from and on our last trip away to Amsterdam there he actually insisted on paying for his own flights and making a reasonable contribution towards the hotel so he's come from the usual mould it seems (or just not YET it seems).....although now that I think of it he has had me in the Apple store three times now since the iPhone 6 has come out lol - ha and he'll have a LONG and ultimately unsuccessful wait little does he know but I think he's fully aware of that and is intending to blow some of his own money on that useless unnecessary purchase to upgrade his perfectly acceptable existing iPhone 5S - it seems Thai boys and PH boys may not be THAT different after all it seems ! :-)

[Wesley]

I lived there five years, I had one of the best times in my life, Gay bars and boys many. Short ones tall ones, Big cocks and small. Boyfriends, lovers or what ever you like you can find there anytime you like.

[Nirish guy]

Just a quick one - a friend who's going to Manilla for 3 days over Christmas has asked me for a recommendation for a hotel close to the gay bars, I see on the board there are a few very old recommendations but can anyone perhaps fire up one of two current hotel names that I can send him perhaps, no big special requests from him, just as long as they're close to the gay bars ( O Bar etc) and are of the usual international travel chain standard will be fine I'm guessing, although if local and "ok" too then I'm sure that would be fine as well. Thanks in anticipation.

[Wesley]

Obar has changed, it split and the majority of the people went with a much larger, and better served place in a Subdivision in a better part of Manila, The Old Obar is still fun and the Bar next to it has multiplied with the division so it is still very much fun. Since I had a place to live there I only know Business Hotels not Gay friendly ones. However, the nice one between Obar and the Big Mall comes to mind as the place I stayed during one of the many floods there. I am sure they did not care for the boys staying there but visiting for a few hours was fine as long as they did not need to provided extra linen, I think, Of course, if you rented a room for two there would be no questions asked.If you find the Old Obar you can ask about the new one which is likely flourishing by now. The new one caters to the middle class and wealthy. That means none of the boys will jump at you for what they may think is auto-money. However, they like white guys primarily because of the larger portions of penis we provide compared to most of them. If I were you I would stay in the area of the Old Obar since there is a Gay community to support your needs no questions asked. The other part of town mentioned is not as gay friendly and you will need to be more careful since by enlarge the management is straight. I would put much stock in the deal at Cebu, there is one bar in a nearby place just over the bridge called Numero uno. Take my word the beer is stronger and you need to be careful how you drink it as compared to the usual you find there. Also, consider the guys there mostly like sex and there is a Gay Hotel within walking distance where you can trick all day and play all night if you like. It reminds me of what use to be the Club Dallas Baths.So, you have many options and most of them are really up to what turns you on. Howsoever, be careful since there are straight bars in the same complex of buildings and you can get in trouble without a guide if you wander out of Numero UNo. However if you like to take chances with so called straight guys you can go, but I would take a newly found Pinoy man with you.

[Wesley]

Palawan Pronounces Pallawon is, also a nice place if you need to get away, I mean really get away. Its not so gay friendly and supports a bi-bar in the center of the small Village there. It is an open air bar and you hook up mainly by the right looks, (Gaydar) You know we all have it until we go to Thailand then we loose if for a while because we pay for what we like there. Its fun to get back to the basics. I found a nice guy there that stayed with me the duration of my time there although I was with other guys. He continued to text me afterwards for as long as I kept the same phone number. all this is just a thought. Boracay (pronounced Borachii) it is not so nearly gay as it is a great white sand beach with great looking guys but no place to really let down your long gay hair unless you just don't care. But it may turn off some bi guys you may want to play with later. Either way, you can try these places. I would stay away from Mindanao (pronounced Mindanow. It has an Islamic group there which do take Americans for Hostage for money. They finally let a Missionary couple go after holding them for 3 years and never getting any money if any questions just private me.

[Jellybean]

While searching for some information on the Philippines, IтАЩd forgotten this topic and the fact that I had posted on it. Hmmm . . . IтАЩm seriously concerned about my memory issues, but thatтАЩs another story.

In my earlier post, I said on 11 September 2014:


As IтАЩve no plans at present to visit the Philippines IтАЩve been honest and told them that. But despite this, some have still continued to contact me from time to time and tried to persuade me to change my mind.

Now I donтАЩt answer any new requests from lads in the Philippines as I canтАЩt see me going there any day soon. And I wouldnтАЩt want to mislead them or waste their time
And thatтАЩs, more or less, what IтАЩve continued to do since I made that comment. But that all changed about 2 weeks ago, when the most stunning Filipino boy contacted me. I couldnтАЩt help myself from replying and said a cursory тАШhelloтАЩ, but never really expected to hear anything further. Then last week, the boy got back in touch with me and, for the last 8 days, weтАЩve been chatting morning, noon and night. In all the many years IтАЩve been coming to Thailand IтАЩve never had such extensive chats with Thai boys. Two reasons I suppose, their English wasnтАЩt good enough and my Thai language skills are even worse.

Currently, I have, what I would consider a special boy in Pattaya, but the majority of his exchanges are by sticker on the Line app, despite the fact that weтАЩre thinking about establishing a relationship and weтАЩve spent 5 days together here in Bangkok and in Khon Kaen visiting his family. Now, IтАЩm having second thoughts.

IтАЩm considering visiting the Filipino boy sometime in March, before I return to the UK in April. His village is near General Santos City (GSC) and I thought the nearest airport is in Davao, but see it is possible to fly to GSC from Bangkok. Has anyone been to either of those cities and can recommend some inexpensive hotels or tips for places of interest to visit?

As GWMinUS said above, I believe my guy is, тАЬlooking for a Westerner to take [him] out of the poverty of the Philippines.тАЭ IтАЩm not entirely sure what I can do. IтАЩve no idea how easy or hard it is for a Filipino to live and work in Thailand. Again, does anyone have any knowledge or experience of this?

He has sent me a considerable number of photos of his village and family home, which looks uncannily like the village of a former boyfriend from Chaiyaphum. He tells me his family all know he is gay; they are aware of me and my intention to visit and are all said to be very supportive.

The benefit of being able to chat freely in English is a major plus. And IтАЩve found his expressions of affection greater than any from my former Thai boyfriends. But even after this short time, I get the impression he could be very possessive and if I inadvertently say the wrong word, he seems quick to take offence. IтАЩve explained to him that IтАЩm returning to the UK in April and because of the need for further reconstructive surgery, I wonтАЩt be back in Thailand until November at the earliest. So, it could be November or December before we meet again and maybe he should therefore look for someone else. Despite this, he still seems keen to see me and establish some sort of relationship. It is of course possible that our planned 7 days together wonтАЩt work out and thatтАЩs the last we see of each other. On the other hand, things could work out perfectly. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, as they say.

[francois]

I have it on good authority that Filipino guys like a "daddy" to dominate them and xxxk them. Also they are very possessive and won't easily let you go once in their tender clutches.

[bobsaigon2]

Jelly,
Filipinos can visit Thailand for 30 days without applying for visa beforehand. It is quite difficult for them to obtain employment legally in Thailand. Personally, I would want to meet a boy in the Philippines before inviting him to Thailand.

Based on my own experience, there are two dangerous illusions when considering a relationship with a pinoy: linguistic and cultural. You say you've "found his expressions of affection greater than any from my former Thai boyfriends". Yes, they are more romantic compared to Thais and they can verbalize their feelings much better than Thais. And listening to them speak, one is struck by their nearly accentless command of American English, tempting one to think that their world views and cultural traits are very similar to those of native speakers of English. And most of them are Christian, just like us!

A Philippine Airlines cabin attendant once informed me that pinoys are "brown Americans". But that is very far from the truth.

Most pinoys you meet on the internet are, in essence, the same as other very poor Asians who hope desperately that a foreigner will appear and take them and their families out of their misery. The one in Cebu who expected to use me for that purpose was 16 yrs old, about to start university studies. How clever, I thought. Only 16 and he's ready for uni. Then I learned that Philippine elementary schools are 2 years shy of the usual 8 years in the US, so of course the students are only 16 when they graduate from high school. This typifies the numerous illusions that induce foreigners to think that social and educational structures in the Philippines are quite like our own.

But there are positive reports from more than one board member. So, if you and he are satisfied with that type of LTR/LDR, and if his financial expectations are what you consider reasonable, do give it a try. Choke dee, na.

[Jellybean]

Thanks very much for your detailed reply Bob.

My plan, well some jumbled thoughts really, were to visit the young man in March for a short 7 day stay and see the lay of the land. IтАЩve already explained I wonтАЩt be able to return before November or December at the earliest. I recently suggested that he might therefore wish to consider contacting another foreigner who has time to spend visiting him on a more regular basis. This upset him a little and he accused me of trying to push him away, when all I was trying to do was look after his interests. He said he was prepared to wait, which was very generous of him.

But given that I havenтАЩt met the guy yet, I donтАЩt want to commit myself to anything more than paying him a visit over 7 days, visiting his family and going to local places of interest with him. And, of course, leaving him a small amount of cash, similar to the amount I would pay here in Thailand.

It is already clear that he is from a very poor family, or a тАЬsimple familyтАЭ, as he said in his own words. It seems perfectly obvious that he is looking for someone to take care of him and his family. IтАЩm no stranger to this and have been down this road before here in Thailand. Whether IтАЩm prepared to do this for the Filipino boy is currently unclear and I wonтАЩt make any decisions until I weigh up how our first week turns out.

A friend has already sent me a тАШstorm warningтАЩ, which IтАЩm seriously considering. I donтАЩt want to mislead the boy, or build up his hopes needlessly. Clearly, I need to establish exactly what he expects from me in terms of support and, if it is beyond my means, then be totally honest and tell him that I cannot provide what he is looking for. Perhaps, in retrospect, I should have discussed the matter of his financial expectations last week, but I rather got caught up in the heat of the moment. But it is not too late to bring up the subject of money, which, surprisingly, we haven't even spoken about yet.

[Nirish guy]

I think if you're expecting a "ok you send me XXXX a month and I can be your good BF" you'll be pleasantly surprised at that conversation NOT being forthcoming in the same way that it might be from a Thai guy.

I'm not saying the desire for that care to happen might not be there as of course it is but that cold hard chat about it may not be so quickly or bluntly forthcoming as "anything" given to the guy is of course a bonus.

Thankfully I've never had or heard that conversation from my BF as both he and his family are all well enough off to manage just fine without any white guys help ( thank goodness) so it never comes up and hell there's a few times I've been thinking of asking them to support ME :-), but I'm guessing even if that was to come up the conversation would never be as direct and blunt re that as I would expect or be used to it being when dealing with "some" Thai guys I know.

[Nirish guy]

Not a bad option, maybe, for those expats in Thailand who are looking for a boyfriend and who happen to be sick and tired of Thai boys (that doesn't include myself, I'm just mentioning it because I've been subjected to their whining and bitching a lot recently).


just keep wondering how long the boyfriend experience would last before he strayed.


But how is that any different to any other guy one might meet, if you go through from life thinking like that then you'd never hook up with anyone for longer than one night ( HA I've just remember who I'm addressing this post too !!! that thinking just might explain A LOT perhaps :-) Personally I always work on the basis that with me being older and gays generally being a pack of tarts anyway that over a longish period of time thats always going to be a fairly likely outcome anyway at some point and then it's just a matter of how that's handled as to whether it has to be a deal breaker or not as in my view if handled correctly and openly that shouldn't necessarily need to be the death kiss to a relationship - as lets face it (and speaking personally anyway) let he without sin cast the first stone and all that in that regard.

Mind you ask me again how I feel in a few months or years when I discover my BF fucking half of the town where I live and perhaps my view might change who knows, mind you as no matter how hard he tries I'll probably have out done him I guess I'm not really one to judge ! :-)

[goji]

Perhaps, in retrospect, I should have discussed the matter of his financial expectations last week, but I rather got caught up in the heat of the moment. But it is not too late to bring up the subject of money, which, surprisingly, we haven't even spoken about yet.

One could argue it's way too early to bring up the subject of money. You have not even met him yet, so it is premature to over analyse the situation or to make any form of commitment, as things just might not work out. No need to get stressed out about this.

I would do no more than arrange to meet him on neutral territory, such as in a bar or coffee shop.
That leaves the option of dating someone else the same day or later in the week if it does not go well..

[Nirish guy]

Sorry i meant to add that to and Goji is quite correct in that why are you even thinking about money at this point, go meet the guy, see if you get on, share some time together, have a look at this life situation and if you feel in the mood to help out sometime in the future with something or an amount of your choosing ( or NOT) then that's fine and isn't something you should be getting to concerned with at this stage. It's not like he or you are proposing marriage and discussing what is required from the other, just go with the flow, I'm sure if you're keen to splash some money every now and then methods will be made available for you to do so without you having to suggest setting up and direct debit within hours of meeting - although I'm guessing if you did you'd be one VERY popular white BF :-)

PS. Really, no, DON'T do do that - as if you're really that keen to give away your money then just send me your completed direct debit slip along with your bank account details and I promise that "I" will send you at least three SMS text messages, one email and four Facebook messages each and every day telling you just how much I love you and miss you !!! :-)

[Jellybean]

It's not like he or you are proposing marriage and discussing what is required from the other . . .
Ahhhh . . . but thatтАЩs where you are mistaken NIrish-guy. Forgive me, but I should have mentioned, but a few days ago, he brought up the subject of us getting married and having a home together in the Philippines. My reaction . . . Aaaaaagggghhh!!!!!!

Well, not exactly true, but deep down I was thinking that. Lol! What I actually said was, тАЬWhoa! We havenтАЩt even met yet, letтАЩs slow things down a minute and meet first and see if we like each other.тАЭ (Or something similar) And he already refers to me as his husband, but I find that rather cute.

It is very clear now that he is looking for me to take care of him and help his family. But to what extent? I honestly donтАЩt think IтАЩm in a position to provide him with the level of support he probably needs. ItтАЩs definitely not part of my thinking at this early stage and why I suggested to him that perhaps he should look for a foreigner who can visit him more regularly. But that suggestion was brushed aside.

ThatтАЩs why I feel we should discuss his financial expectations, as bobsaigon2 suggested, before I consider travelling out to see him. Apart from getting married and having a home together, IтАЩve no idea what else he expects. In previous conversations weтАЩve agreed that discussion of such things are best left until we meet and see how we get on together. But now, IтАЩm not so sure.

The only way I could possibly consider what he is probably looking for is if, after visiting him several times, I decided that life in the Philippines is preferable to my life here in Thailand. Well, a move of that kind is certainly not part of my current thinking. If anything, IтАЩm thinking that in the next year or two I should probably sell my condo and spend less time in Thailand, but using a rented property on the occasions that I do visit.

And all I really wanted to do was spend 7 relaxing days with a cute Filipino boy, visit his family and village, go on sightseeing tours with him, pay him a generous stipend at the end of my trip and enjoy my first trip to an Asian country outside of Thailand. [Sigh]

After giving the subject more thought, I believe it is right to manage the Filipino boyтАЩs expectations before I arrive and thereby let him decide if my visit should still go ahead. It would then give him the opportunity to move on and find a foreigner who is more capable than I of bringing him and his family out of poverty

I'm sure if you're keen to splash some money every now and then methods will be made available for you to do so . . . PS. Really, no, DON'T do do that - as if you're really that keen to give away your money then just send me your completed direct debit slip along with your bank account details . . .
Ha! If only I was in that enviable position. No, I certainly donтАЩt have money to throw around, IтАЩm not a rich company director. :) I am a, poor as a church mouse, former civil servant from your favourite government department NIrish. I had to retire early and exist on a government (as employer) pension. So, if anything, it should be me who is soliciting handouts from you. Lol!

Finally, did I mention I've also received a marriage proposal from a cute Russian guy. No? Well, that's another story entirely. Lol!

[Brad the Impala]

Sheesh! Being called "my husband" and talking about marriage with someone you have only met online quite recently, rings so many alarm bells that the alarms short circuited. But that's me. I wish you luck as you seem determined to pursue this most unlikely fantasy.

[Jellybean]

Hmmm . . . your comments surprised me somewhat Brad.

You didnтАЩt see my post, quoted below, as alarm bells ringing? Perhaps I should have added an alarm bell sound effect to hammer home the point. ;)

. . . Forgive me, but I should have mentioned, but a few days ago, he brought up the subject of us getting married and having a home together in the Philippines. My reaction . . . Aaaaaagggghhh!!!!!!

As for fantasy, for me, at my age and with my hideous appearance, my whole time in Thailand is a fantasy. The go-go bars, the host bars, the massage joints and the money boys off the Internet, all fantasy. Then there are the string of faux relationships, which only existed because money exchanged hands, albeit indirectly, in return for the fantasy of a relationship. Again, all fantasy! I know what reality is, reality bites the moment I return to the United Kingdom. IтАЩm under no illusion as to what is real and what is fantasy.

So what, in essence, was wrong in wanting to shift the fantasy to the Philippines for a week? DidnтАЩt you read the following?

And all I really wanted to do was spend 7 relaxing days with a cute Filipino boy, visit his family and village, go on sightseeing tours with him, pay him a generous stipend at the end of my trip and enjoy my first trip to an Asian country outside of Thailand. [Sigh]

ThatтАЩs all I was looking for. I certainly wasnтАЩt looking to commit to a long term relationship with I boy IтАЩve never met, in a country IтАЩve never visited before, to getting married at some future date, or to paying for the cost of building a house. I thought I had kicked that all into touch by saying these were all matters to be discussed when we met.

However, as my discussions with the Filipino boy progressed it was clear that he is looking for a foreigner to take care of him and his family. Nothing wrong with that in principle, many Thai boys are looking for exactly the same thing.

The point I was making, which I thought I explained in detail, but clearly not, is could I go out there, spend a week with him and walk away having left a fair amount of money knowing full well that IтАЩm not the person the boy is looking for. Alternatively, in all fairness, should I let him know in advance that I donтАЩt have the means to provide him with what I believe he is looking for. And thatтАЩs exactly what IтАЩve decided to do, as I said below:

After giving the subject more thought, I believe it is right to manage the Filipino boyтАЩs expectations before I arrive and thereby let him decide if my visit should still go ahead.
I suspect that once we have this conversation, that will be the end of the story. In short Brad, no determination on my part to extend my fantasy life to the Philippines. Ah well, it could have been fun, but looks like IтАЩll never know.

There only remains one final thing to say . . . sheesh!

=))

[fountainhall]

You have obviously never had to deal with the whining and bitching of a pinoy boy LOL!
When scorned (or when they perceive they have been scorned) the retaliation of a Fillipino boy makes a Thai boy seem like the Dalai Lama!
Besides that it seems that the Fillipino surgeons love to butcher the boys cocks at circumcision time and leave them looking like amputated turkey necks!
I used to visit the Philippines regularly in the early 1980s and enjoyed it, but then I always enjoyed Bangkok more and so gave up on Manila after a few years in favour of Thai delights. On the other hand, I have a friend who lives there - in some style, I should add - who adores it and always says he will never leave.

One thing that definitely puts me off is the circumcision business. According to The Nation in Manila, 93% of Filipino boys are circumcised and the annual circumcision ceremony, the Tuli, is actually sponsored by the government! I cannot understand where this comes from, unless it was the US medical community when the country was a US colony. Whatever, as Nirish discovered, it is an almost universal manhood ritual most often performed by non-medical people unqualified in the delicacy of that operation. I have seen many consistently ugly - and I do mean ugly - appendages in that country that it just rules out for me the possibility of being with any Filipino guy, no matter how gorgeous.

In my limited experience, colmx has it almost right in taking about the whining and bitching of Filipino guys. Decades ago I entered into a correspondence with a young Filipino I had not met. He seemed nice and we had an extended correspondence which included the possibility of my spending a little time in Manila with him. As far as he was concerned this also meant that we would become an 'item', even though I stressed that was moving far too quickly. When he learned that I would go Thailand on business, the questioning started - relentlessly. How many boys would I see, what would I do with them, why go to Bangkok and not to Manila to be with him? And that was just the start! I soon ended it. I couldn't take it. And I know of others who actually started up what they believed would be a longer term friendship. Always these ended up with meeting the extended family and being expected to finance a host of family matters - including in more than one case - the building of a house. Times may have changed, I suppose. But I do suggest to Jellybean that even a desire to shift the fantasy should be done elsewhere and not in the Philippines.

[a447]

The go-go bars, the host bars, the massage joints and the money boys off the Internet, all fantasy. Then there are the string of faux relationships, which only existed because money exchanged hands, albeit indirectly, in return for the fantasy of a relationship. Again, all fantasy! I know what reality is, reality bites the moment I return to the United Kingdom. IтАЩm under no illusion as to what is real and what is fantasy.

I couldnt agree more. You've just summed up the essence of being a happy sex tourist.

The people who get hurt are those who are unable to separate fantasy from reality.

[Jellybean]

. . . But I do suggest to Jellybean that even a desire to shift the fantasy should be done elsewhere and not in the Philippines.
What excellent advice fountainhall, which I shall follow up at the earliest possible opportunity.

Hmmm . . . after checking my diary, tomorrow sounds as good as a day as any for a spot of fantasy relationship malarkey. So, as quick as boiled asparagus, IтАЩll make my way down to fantasy city, Sodom-by-the-Sea, otherwise known as Pattaya. Where the fantasy lifestyle will continue apace.

Four days with my special boy from Khon Kaen should shake any notion of hitching up to a Filipino boy out off my head. The last time we met, weтАЩd just been up to see his family. They were very keen that I should become a member of their family and visit more often. Hmmm . . . is that the sound of wedding bells or alarm bells? IтАЩm really not sure, better ask Brad I think. :p



I couldnt agree more. You've just summed up the essence of being a happy sex tourist.
Thanks a447. I surprise myself sometimes.

Oh, and I like the idea of us being happy sex tourists. IтАЩm perfectly okay with that description, and much prefer it to scottish-guyтАЩs portrayal of us as gay desperados. Although IтАЩm content to live with that too.

So much so, I feel we deserve our own song a447. Something like the following perhaps:

The Happy Gay Sex Tourist Song

I love to go a-wandering,
Along the mountain track,
And as I go, I love to sing,
My knapsack on my back.
Chorus:
Val-deri,Val-dera,
Val-deri,
Val-dera-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Val-deri,Val-dera.
My knapsack on my back. . .

Hmmm . .. I might just test it out on the taxi driver tomorrow and see if he likes it.

=))

[Nirish guy]

It's not like he or you are proposing marriage and discussing what is required from the other . . .


. . . but thatтАЩs where you are mistaken NIrish-guy. Forgive me, but I should have mentioned, but a few days ago, he brought up the subject of us getting married and having a home together in the Philippines. My reaction . . . Aaaaaagggghhh!!!!

I'm glad to hear it ! My advice, run a mile and then when you've run that mile run another just to be sure as no better an indication of him being an "I love you" boy that his current behaviour. Thankfully you have already worked that out for yourself it seems, although personally I'm surprised you even dallied with they situation for as long as you did and or worried about what he might need out of your meeting - a chancer of the highest order I fear and one best left behind at great haste !

[fountainhall]

I feel we deserve our own song
Perhaps a slightly more ribald variation(!)

I love to go a-wandering
Just like a cute young buck,
And as I go, I always think
Of all the boys IтАЩll fuck -

Val-deri,Val-dera,
Val-deri,
Val-dera-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Val-deri,Val-dera.
Of all the boys IтАЩll fuck!

- Or suck and let my ass be fucked,
It matters not to me.
I love to think of all the fun
With all the boys IтАЩll see.

Val-deri,Val-dera,
Val-deri,
Val-dera-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Val-deri,Val-dera.
With all the boys IтАЩll see!

I know, my friends, itтАЩs far from real
This tourist yen of mine.
But what if тАШtis just fantasy?
IтАЩll really feel just fine!

Val-deri,Val-dera,
Val-deri,
Val-dera-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Val-deri,Val-dera.
IтАЩll really feel just fine!

[Jellybean]

Perhaps a slightly more ribald variation(!)
Oh, I very much prefer your ribald variation of The Happy Gay Sex Tourist song fountainhall.

And since a447 was the inspiration for our own song, I hope he will forgive me if I say that, based on his trip reports, the ribald variation suits him down to a T. ;)

[francois]

Speaking about husbands, a friend who is familiar with Filipino culture advises me that the term husband and wife are code words for top and bottom. :-o

Can anyone confirm?

[a447]

I'm not interested in talking in riddles.

"Can I fuck you" always works for me! Lol

[loke]

They can trick you into a relationship before you even know it. I have a friend whos life was ruined because he fall in love with a Filipino and in the end lost a big sum of money, after buying a house etc . The relatives was just using him . I guess same same as in Thailand , except it is easier to communicate in English .

[christianpfc]

I read this thread only now and don't know of the jellybean is still in contact with the Filipino boy.

Why don't you invite the boy to come to see you, and offer to pay for his flights? In that case you don't have to leave the comfort of Bangkok and get into somewhere unknown, the downside is that you have to plan activities for the time (when you visit him, he would have to plan activities), and if anything goes wrong you will be stuck with him (or move him out and pay for hotel).

If the boy can't come because he has a job, you would have to fill your days in the Philippines. I suggest a back-up plan anyway, so even if the boy does not show up or you separate after the first day, the trip is not lost. I am speaking of various experiences with Thai boys I went to visit in the provinces.

[Nirish guy]

Loke - on reading your comments above whilst standing standing above me peering over my shoulder to see if I was surfing porn on my screen or not :-) my Flipino BF said I should maybe suggest to you to add the word "some" rather than "they" to your thoughts as to how "they can trick you" etc - just like maybe its "some"ThaI" guys or even "some" Farang" and just "some" of people from all around the world for that matter, as of course you find good and bad people everywhere.

Also I would add that the farang's (Im assuming here) life was ruined only because he allowed it to become so perhaps. Short of the Flipino family robbing him at gun point I assume he always was able to make his own choices and decisions in life and when he willing chose to buy a house that was his choice.

Of course if he then became victim to the same treatment that some farang in Thailand have experienced i.e once the house was bought he became surplus to requirements and was told to leave that would have been very hard for him I'm sure, however again his initial choices and decisions to buy the house were his and his alone and if he had chosen NOT to then his life might not have been just as ruined as he feels it was. So whilst he may well have been set up, which is of course rotten for him, to try and then blame others then for his own poor financial or emotional choices is stretching things a little I think personally as one must surely always take responsibility for ones own life choices and when dealing with people from a different Country or culture then caution I would imagine should always be your guide.

[bobsaigon2]

They can trick you into a relationship before you even know it. I have a friend whose life was ruined because he fall in love with a Filipino and in the end lost a big sum of money, after buying a house etc . The relatives was just using him . I guess same same as in Thailand , except it is easier to communicate in English .

I have to agree with N'Irish, no one forced the foreigner to support the boy and his family, buy a house, etc. Those were the foreigner's choices. Why did he make those choices? Because he was playing under a foreigner's set of rules governing relationships, and those rules would encourage him to expect that in return for his money and commitment he would be rewarded with the love and loyalty of the boy and family. Unfortunately, in that case, the family was being guided by their own rule book which allows poverty stricken SE Asians to use a foreigner to whatever extent they feel is necessary to provide support and then terminate the relationship. For them, there is simply no rule that requires the pinoy to observe the foreigner's preconceived notions of relationship and fidelity. It's a gamble, both in the Philippines and in Thailand. You "pays your money and takes your chances".

[christianpfc]

I have met a few Filipino boys in Bangkok, two came to my room. Very good English, apart from that can't say anything good or bad about them.


...but I should have mentioned, but a few days ago, he brought up the subject of us getting married and having a home together in the Philippines. My reaction . . . Aaaaaagggghhh!!!!!!
That would be a red flag. The boy has completely different ideas of your (plural) future than you have.

Beside the circumcision issue (in a brave moment I will have a search on the web what exactly is going on) there might be religious fuck-ups (an Indonesian online acquaintance wrote he prays to God every day that we can meet some day - cringe!), I can't see myself dating Filipinos unless he approaches me and is extremely hot.

[Jellybean]

I read this thread only now and don't know of the jellybean is still in contact with the Filipino boy . . .
Yes ChristianPFC, тАЬthe jellybeanтАЭ is still in contact with the Filipino boy, although not to the same extent as before, maybe three times a day instead of five times a day.

During my recent 4-day trip to Pattaya, I was able to clarify a number of outstanding issues and resolved a basic misunderstanding with my boy from Khon Kaen. So, on my return to Bangkok, I had the unenviable task of breaking it to the Filipino boy that, regrettably, as I donтАЩt have the means to substantially improve his life in the Philippines, I shall not now be able to visit him. He was, of course, disappointed, as indeed am I. However, I think it is the correct decision. In retrospect, I should have stuck to my self-imposed rule of not responding to boys from the Philippines for the reasons mentioned in an earlier post.

Christian, you asked why he didnтАЩt consider visiting me, instead of me going to visit him. The reason I wanted to visit him is that the Philippines would have been the first Asian country outside of Thailand I would have visited. And, having sat on the fence for many years finding reasons not to visit other Asian countries, I convinced myself that this trip was entirely doable, having checked out the flight and hotel costs. Had things not gone well, then the boy would have been given a generous golden-goodbye and returned to his village, leaving me free to explore the local area. Although, I did not envisage that happening, believing we would have had a very enjoyable time together over the 7 day trip.

And the Filipino boy does not possess a passport and said he has never flown before and is scared of flying. I believe, as a first-timer, it would have been too much to ask him to undertake the complicated process of negotiating airport procedure on his own. He probably doesnтАЩt even own a suitcase. He did however indicate his desire to visit Thailand, but we thought it better that I visit him a couple of times first and, at some future date, he accompany me back to Thailand. That way I could have shown him what was involved. However, as mentioned above, that will not now happen.

As I have made it clear I donтАЩt have the means to support him as he would wish, the Filipino boy will continue to look for the westerner who is capable of providing financial assistance to him and his family. In the meantime, we shall remain Internet friends, although I fear that is likely to wither on the vine very quickly.

So yet again, on the verge of attempting to visit another Asian country, my efforts have been thwarted.

[GWMinUS]

I have enjoyed reading or re-reading the posts here about the Philippines.
After visiting there for over 12 years, and also many trips to Thailand, Cambodia, Laos, and Mayalsia, I must say I feel most at Home in the Philippines!!
I am an American. 75 yo now. Retired. Have a long time Partner here. Who hates flying and will not travel to Asia.
So I go anyway.
I was last in the Philippines in September and will be there again the first week of April. Three weeks. Really looking forward to my time there!!
I do have many close friends and, yes, I have been the sweet Dad or Tito (Uncle) that helped several guys through college and get a start in life. I could have done that in Thailand but the language was just too much of an impediment. At least in the PH I can ask and listen and share.
SO, I agree Pinoy Guys can be very needy. But they are also great lovers, cut cocks and all!!!
Here are my suggestions:
1. Go to Cebu, Cagayan de Oro or Davao. Much better than Manila.
2. Do not worry about being kidnapped. All are very safe.
3. Forget the Gay or Go-Go Bars. Just meet handsome men on PlanetRomeo, Skype or WhatsUp.
4. Go to some of the beautiful places and take a hot guy with you!! You will enjoy the beaches and relaxed days!!! And he will make you HAPPY HAPPY.
5. Be clear about what you can or want to do. Yes many guys need a "favor". So set your limits and do not slip into that "Savior" mentality.
6. Finally, ENJOY!!!

Just a few other comments.
It is not reasonable to expect a Pinoy guy to just fly to Bangkok, even if he has a Passport. I tried one year to have a long time friend, graduating in HRM, come meet me in Bangkok. He flew to Manila and was denied boarding!!! I even spoke to the Immigration Agent from Bankgok to no avail. You need to meet you guy in the Philippines and accompany them through Departure. On our second try I still had a difficult time with Immigration. But we did make it to Hong Kong and Disneyland. By the way he is now on his second 10 month Contract on a P&O Cruise Ship!!! One of my success stories...
This trip I plan to see some old friends and meet some new ones!! And take my 21 yo guy with me to Palawan. Life at 75 is still great!!
GWM in USA