Just a quick update about me and my life of late...

[bruce_nyc]

Again, I find myself apologizing..... as if apologizing to my family for letting so much time slip by and not visiting more often. I've been busy.... :)

The "executive summary" is.....

I split up with my Thai bf #1.... because he suddenly informed me that I could only have "one Thai boyfriend".... ( Interestingly, he had no problem with my American bf.... #0... but his new rule was, I was allowed "only one Thai boyfriend". ) ....and when I told him that I would not be breaking up with bf #2. He asked me for more money than he'd ever asked for before. Then, literally, the moment it was in his pocket, as soon as I gave it to him, he said, "Ok. Everything finished.". That pissed me off. But I hid it. I just acted very surprised.... which I was. And, everything was finished. That was last April. I had met #2 in February.

I still hear from him (#1) from time to time.... but literally the only words he says are asking for money. And, no, I don't give him any.

Meanwhile, my relationship with #2 grew stronger and stronger.

In May, I had just flown back to Thailand and was staying with #2 in his new condo, a d he informed me of a big group of university friends were all going to Chiang Mai for 10 days.... because one was going to become a monk.... for a month or so. ( I gather it's a tradition. Sort of a "Fat Tuesday" or "bachelor party" before the monk-hood..... apparently. Anyway, I basically wasn't invited. It wouldn't be the same chemistry if he was the only one would came with a spouse/partner.

However, I moaned slightly that I would be missing him for 10 days.... He said, what about that money boy you've been seeing often when I'm at work. ( I keep no secrets. ). He said, why don't you call him? I said, ok. So he made HIS OWN bed up special.... in preparation for this boy and I to have sex there while he was gone.

Long story short..... He became boyfriend #3.

We spent a lot of time together. We've taken several trips together.

The first time #2 saved #3's telephone number in his phone, he saved his name as "Husband Number 2".

So I had 2 boyfriends again.... #2, "G".... and #3, "M".

I had leased a condo on the beach in Jomtiem. It was nothing super fancy, but I really liled it a lot. I loved waking up in the morning to a beautiful view of the sea and the beach..... and being able to literally take the elevator to the gay beach.

Around June, bf #2, "G", broke up with me. It was over money. I stood my ground.

So for about 6 weeks, we we split up..... and I only had bf #3, "M"...

About 6 weeks later, he called me crying and apologizing and begging forgiveness. I told him, "I'm the same. I never changed. I'm the same. So we ended up back together again.

However, neither of my boyfriends liked Pattaya / Jomtien. In fact, they hated it. They could never clearly explain why, but they both refused to live with me there. They both lived in Bangkok and both loved Bangkok. I nearly had to coerce them to even come for a visit....... and on the second day there, they'd be dying to go home to Bangkok. ( I now know why they both hate Pattaya, but I didn't understand it at the time. )

So in August, I negotiated with the landlord to let me end the lease early...... and I moved to a new place in Bangkok. It was nice and a new building, but half the size of my place in Jomtien, and it cost more. But, I was able to see both of them on a very regular basis.

About 2 weeks ago, we moved into a much larger condo here in Bangkok. We all 3 are very happy here.

If anyone is in Bangkok, or just passing through, send me a DM and I'd be happy to meet up for a coffee or drink or whatever. You can meet my two boyfriends too. :ymparty:

[billy2bs]

If I ever get back there I will do just that. Love both Bkk and Pattaya

[bkkmfj2648]

I now know why they both hate Pattaya, but I didn't understand it at the time

hello Bruce,

please tell us why they both do not want to live in beautiful Jomtien with a wonderful view of the sea?
I loved that view when I was there much more than Bangkok.....

thanks,
m.

[bruce_nyc]

Every Thai boy I've ever met (who did NOT live in Pattya)... told me that they hate ("don't like") Pattaya / Jomtien area.

It took me more than a year to get to the bottom of that story... I was always very curious about WHY they don't like it.... and would never in a million years agree to live there.... and 90% of the time would not even agree to visit there...

Finally, I got the real story from a few of the most candid guys...

The reason: "Because Pattaya is full of prostitutes..." and the falang customers of prostitutes.

As you know, "face", or image, is so very important to Thai people.... so unless they ARE a Pattaya prostitute, 99% of them do not want to even be seen within 25 miles of that area... for fear that they will be seen and people will talk about them... and say that they are a Pattaya prostitute.

Basically, another way of saying the same thing is: For all the same MAIN reasons we love Pattaya (more than Hua Hin, for example).... are the very SAME reasons that they hate Pattaya.

No one wants to be branded as "a prostitute" by the whole world unnecessarily.... especially if you're Thai and obsessed with face.

@Manforallseasons: Yes, it does.... Because I know for a fact that there are people who actually care... because they tell me. And if you don't care, please kindly skip ahead, ignore my posts, and change the channel. That's what I do when I read some comment that adds nothing.... for me.... like yours.

[anonone]

Hi Bruce.
Glad to hear from you and happy that you "checked in" for the update. Glad you are doing well.

As an aside on your last post, my BF prefers our vacations to be in Pattaya / Jomtien and HATES Bangkok...so it will vary some by person.

Bangkok has way too many people and traffic for BF....much prefers the ease of Pattaya.
I would like to visit Bangkok again, but BF has veto powers. LOL

Anonone

[colmx]

As an aside on your last post, my BF prefers our vacations to be in Pattaya / Jomtien and HATES Bangkok...so it will vary some by person.

Same Same with my BF

Bruce:
You mentioned that BF no.2 was a MB in the first place, was BF no.1 also a MB at some stage
If so I find it strange that they would want to avoid MB city...

In my opinion it more likely that they are afraid that you will find a newer and shinier toy to play with and have thus kept you away from the toy shop!

[anonone]

As an aside on your last post, my BF prefers our vacations to be in Pattaya / Jomtien and HATES Bangkok...so it will vary some by person.

Same Same with my BF

Bruce:
You mentioned that BF no.2 was a MB in the first place, was BF no.1 also a MB at some stage
If so I find it strange that they would want to avoid MB city...

In my opinion it more likely that they are afraid that you will find a newer and shinier toy to play with and have thus kept you away from the toy shop!

Too funny...reminds me of another reason BF has for keeping us in Pattaya. BF has many friends in Patts and has the full resources of the Thai Boy snoop squad. I can't enter a bar in Pattaya without BF finding out about it. Not so easy to keep track of me in the big city....

:))

[thaiguest]

Unlike MFAS I took care to read your post and found it interesting for its content and as a study in pseudo Hi-So Thai behaviour-an interesting sub-stratum of human behaviour generally.
Hi-So Thais are real and do exist (42% of all Thai money is held by 35,000 individuals/families-Chualalongkorn University study) and yes they would not be seen too often in Pattaya and other such common places. Upmarket locations in Bangkok, London, Paris, Dubai etc would be their habitual places of residence as well as country villas here and there.
But it looks like you've been taken under the wing of the Pseudo Hi-So Thais- a truely obnoxious bunch. The forensics are all over your post;

BF#1 - you can only have one boyfriend he decides because if you had two that would make you a consumer of prostitution and tarnish HIS image. Yet he cut and ran after demanding (and getting) "more money than he ever asked before". So conclusion-BF #1 is a pretend hi-so prostitute.

BF#2 (G) New condo, university friends, junket to CM (no moneybag Falang allowed), gave bed to BF#3 to keep moneybags Falang in tow. Broke up -not over taste in art and music, politics, philosophy, no, "it was over money". So conclusion- BF#2 is a pretend hi-so prostitute.

BF#3 (M). Not much forensics on him yet but he's happy to share a (crybaby) moneyboy with a moneybag Falang in sprawling and anonomous BBK so its not looking very hopeful that this is a real live Hi-So either.

I enjoyed your post and you seem like a nice guy but don't allow a bunch of moneyboys put you off Pattaya because according to them "it's full of prostitutes"!

PS Don't get upset by MFAS- every old lion gets strappy with the cubs now and then.

[Dodger]

Bruce...

As I am sure that you are aware, when Thais (boys and girls) leave home for the flashing lights of the big city they become glued a very tight-knit society of friends which they almost immediately bond to as their new family members. It's been my experience that whenever you drag one of them away from this safe-zone they become a bit disoriented and eventually want to return to the cacoon.

It's also possible that your bf's have other comittments to tend to that you may or may not be aware of...this is Thailand you know.

[Nathan B]

Now we've had the exec summary, can we get the unexpurgated version?

I for one found Bruce's earlier posts fascinating, and the update was most welcome if a little bewildering. I may need to draw a flow chart.

@Troll.. really, no one is interested. Asinine posts are so 1990s.

[dinagam]

Scandals make a better read ...

[tom traveller]

Hi Bruce,

Thanks for your story -enjoyed it.

Very interested in your offer to meet up, if only for chat, meal, gossip :) - I'm in BKK this summer. I can't contact you but please contact me?

Tom

[bruce_nyc]

#1 was a money boy, yes. He lives in Pattaya and works at A Bomb. He's not avoiding Pattaya. He lives there, and works as a MB there. But he and I have been over for about 1 year now.

Now I only have two.... "G" (#2) and "M" (#3). .....and "G" and "M" and I live together in Bangkok now.

"G" has never been a MB. He is a professional dancer.

"M" has been a massage MB. That's how we met.

Neither of my boyfriends are afraid to go to Pattaya for a weekend holiday..... and we sometimes do exactly that.

Neither of them have any problem with visiting Pattaya..... but neither of them want to LIVE there fulltime..... but the reason they don't want to live there is..... They think it's too small-town and boring.... not enough to do. They're both big city boys. They love the excitement and huge varietal of things to do in Bangkok. They say Pattaya is just for a 2-day beach trip.... not to live there.

When I was talking about Thai boys in general not liking Pattaya, I was talking about all the other boys in Bangkok.... Not my boyfriends, per se. .....and not moneyboys..... Just general Thai gay males in Bangkok (who are not MBs)....You mention Pattaya and if they know you well enough to speak freely and openly, they will say, "Ewww. No thanks. Pattaya is only for prostitutes.". I even had one friend say, "Pattaya is nothing but whores.". When I asked more, he said he has nothing against whores (prostitutes), but he also has nothing in common with them. :-)

"G" has never been a MB. He is a professional dancerIt reminds me of that old saying "My boyfriend is a dancer, your boyfriend is a gogo boy, his boyfriend is a prostitute.

[bruce_nyc]

Wow. So much to respond to.....

M was a MB (massage boy) when I met him. He's from a very very poor - no I mean extremely poor - Myanmar family. No electricity. Not even electric fans. Poor. His father died when he was very young. He left home and came to Thailand to make some money when he was 17. Six months later, his mother got very sick and died. They didn't even call him until it was to say she had died. As a result of his life so far, he is extremely independent...... extremely sensitive..... and extremely motivated to have a better life for himself. With or without me. He was working 3 jobs when I met him. He's very motivated to learn English specifically so that he can get a good job in America..... when we move there.

G was a professional dancer ( no not go go, not coyote ) in big production shows, when I met him. Similarly, he lost both parents as a baby. He was raised only by his grandmother. He has only his grandmother, an aunt, and her daughter.... a cousin.

He's also motivated to have a better life.... but he's a bit lazy. Truth be told, he'd be very happy just being a housewife. A housewife who looks like a hot male fitness model. ;-)

We all three live together now. G is totally cool with it..... at least so he says. M has a bit of jealousy. Neither of them like it when I give the other one too much attention. Finally, recently, I decided to dedicate Sun, Tue, Thu evenings to M. And dedicate Mon, Wed, and Fri evenings to G. That means pretty much giving them my attention and presence .....doing whatever he wants to do.

Of course, that leaves Saturday nights free.... maybe for me.... That's why I'm thinking of going to Pattaya alone (or with only my PA) once or twice a month..... on a Saturday.... just for one night..... to play. And playing in Bangkok once or twice a month on alternating Saturdays too. For example, to off 4 boys for a small orgy. :-) Why not? We live in Thailand!

My bf's know all about everything. I keep no secrets. They're fine with it..... especially if it's not every day.

For example, we're in Siem Reap now. M asked me, Why are you so Kan Hee every day? Not really upset. Only very slight annoyed. I said, Because I'm a young boy. You're an older man. ;-)

[loke]

Why cant you just call them rentboys instead of boyfriends ?

I think you are paying them a lot of money to keep them and good for you, you must be a wealthy man and can do whatever you want . But since you're so honest there's no need to call them bfs.

They love you because of the money . Take that away and you will never see them again .

[bruce_nyc]

Either way. You can call them whatever you like.

I hire plenty of rentboys on a regular basis. I'm not shy nor ashamed to say so.

The fact is..... for the first 8-9 months, with both of these particular guys, I was a bit concerned / curious about that. One (Thai) friend told me, "If you want to know if they really love you, it's simple. Don't give them any money.... and see what happens.". So that's exactly what I did.

For the first 8-9 months, I never gave either of them any money. I never told them why. In fact, I still haven't told them to this day. But after that long a period of time, I was convinced that they're both really with me because they want to be with me. They really do love me. ( And I couldn't care less if anyone else believes that or not. It's totally irrelevant to everyone and everything if you believe that or not. )

So after about 8-9 months of this.... where they both had jobs.... one had 3 jobs, in fact.... I finally decided that this is crazy. I really truly love them both, and I know for 100% certain that they both love me.... So if I want to spoil them a tiny bit.... Why not!? That's when I decided to start giving them both a sort of "allowance". That was only about 3 months ago. But this way, they're not forced work at some nasty job that neither they, nor I, want them doing. Only if they find some profession that really excites them.... then they can work at that. I always encourage them to follow whatever they're passionate about.

As for your definition of a " rentboy", I've had an American boyfriend, in America, who was clearly and most definitely not a rentboy..... but who demanded more money from me than I spend on these two combined. I don't care what anyone says.... Every relationship involves money.

[loke]

Of course every relationship involves money so I agree with you in that.
Just would not call them boyfriends , I did not give my ex bf an allowance , neither did he give anything back to me. We shared most of our living expenses. Maybe it's more about that you seem to be a wealthy person living in Thailand who can afford most things.

No I'm not jealous , just curious . I live on a budget myself . If I would look for a Thai bf I would make sure he didn't love me for my money since I couldn't give him much anyway .

[bucknaway]

As long as he is happy who cares about the title he gives them?

There was a time when I would get caught-up in how others lived their life and ignored those that wanted to tell me what they thought of how I lived my life.

When it comes to his life, he is in control and he can call the guys stud Popsicles and it won't mean anything to you or me. It only matters to him and his stud Popsicles. :p

[catawampuscat]

Agreed, boyfriend just a word. I would find it odd if someone I knew referred to a
boy they saw regularly or lived with, as a rent boy or prostitute.
We used the term lover last century, then partner become popular and now husband.
Nobody says my rent boy or my prostitute.

[francois]

There is always FF or FWB however I think that BF is most appropriate and most understood.

[bucknaway]

I like the term "Live-in Stud" :)

Nobody says my rent boy or my prostitute.Speak for yourself!
As long as he is happy who cares about the title he gives them?Because language matters, it's the way we communicate. If you don't care about accuracy or - and in your case particularly apposite I'd have thought - racial vilification then no, of course it doesn't matter whether someone cares about how others express themselves or not. If I introduce last night's f*ck as "my boyfriend" then both the listener and the f*ck have expectations about the relationship between us far in excess of what I believe.

[bucknaway]

Well he told you exactly how he see's it. It's his boyfriend and it is 100% accurate to him regardless how you may see it.
Some people are just looking for drama. Life is too short to get yourself twisted up over a title given to a boyfriend.

Well he told you exactly how he see's it. It's his boyfriend and it is 100% accurate to him regardless how you may see it. Excellent news. So if someone calls you "the n***** who writes on SGT" it is 100% accurate to him regardless how you may see it?

[bucknaway]

So that's who you are.... So now I know.

[catawampuscat]

What's next? Queer, faggot, homo.?

[Manforallseasons]

Bruce your routine brings back so many memories of the original owner of Gaythailand, he too was larger than life.

[topforthai]

Have fun Bruce. I think a few here are a wee bit jealous. I hope when I get older I don't piss and moan like some enjoy doing. Be happy. Life is short.

[Manforallseasons]

Well he told you exactly how he see's it. It's his boyfriend and it is 100% accurate to him regardless how you may see it. Excellent news. So if someone calls you "the n***** who writes on SGT" it is 100% accurate to him regardless how you may see it?

The moderator should ban this member!

What's next? Queer, faggot, homo.?According to bucky's Theory of the World those words are meaningless - literally. They are only "100% accurate to [the speaker] regardless how [the listener] may see it". So to use the example of bucky's hero, George W Bush, the phrase "the axis of evil" was not an attempt to alter our perceptions of Iran, Iraq and North Korea, it was merely an insight into the state of the president's mind and "evil" had no objective meaning. Indeed one has to wonder whether "axis" had an objective meaning. So for the OP in this little discourse to tell us that he regards last night's f*ck as his "boyfriend" in fact gives us no information at all, since in Buckyworld meanings are not conveyed by words.

This goes completely against at least the last fifty years of our evolving understanding of how language shapes perceptions, and how "hate" words like n*****, queer, faggot, homo contribute to general acts of oppression. But hey, in Buckyworld language does not shape perceptions because words are "100% accurate to [the speaker] regardless how [the listener] may see it". And this from a black man!
The moderator should ban this member!Do pay attention MFAS. I was resorting to an extreme example so as to make a point about how language can be used and utter nonsense of bucknaway's position.

[bucknaway]

You already told me who you are.

I appreciate those who refused to remain silent. I only hope I will do the same for others when I'm in the same position.

[Surfcrest]

This goes completely against at least the last fifty years of our evolving understanding of how language shapes perceptions, and how "hate" words like n*****, queer, faggot, homo contribute to general acts of oppression.

Of course, if bucknaway had complained about the comment, I would had to agree with him and moderate your comment....extreme example or not.

Personally, I think it says a lot about the person using the word and their inability to use the language to explain what they need to say, without having to use such an inappropriate word. Seeing who it is being used in context with makes it all the more inappropriate in this case.

The discussion about the title one gives their boyfriend, rentboys, stud popsicles is a long, long way away from n***** .

Surfcrest

Personally, I think it says a lot about the person using the word and their inability to use the language to explain what they need to say, without having to use such an inappropriate word. Seeing who it is being used in context with makes it all the more inappropriate in this case.What it says about me my dear Surfcrest is that I regard most posters as complete dickheads and aim my posts deliberately at that lowest common denominator. "In that context" it is most appropriate.

[francois]

]What it says about me my dear Surfcrest is that I regard most posters as complete dickheads and aim my posts deliberately at that lowest common denominator. "In that context" it is most appropriate.

Subtleties of the English language:

Dickhead - a person who is an idiot and shows it all too well .

Asshole - someone being arrogant, rude, obnoxious, or just a total dickhead....

[Surfcrest]

What it says about me my dear Surfcrest is that I regard most posters as complete dickheads and aim my posts deliberately at that lowest common denominator. "In that context" it is most appropriate.
Perhaps, but this isn't about how you regard most posters...but rather how you set yourself from the rest of the dickheads by openly practising bigotry here.
That, as bucknaway correctly points out tells us all we need to know about "who you are".

Surfcrest

...by openly practising bigotry here.If that's what you think then my posts are truly an example of Jesus' injunction in the Gospel of Saint Matthew "do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces".

[Surfcrest]

Just because you seem to be struggling with the simple message...Leave the n***** crap at the door!
It doesn't belong on SGT or anywhere else, here in the 21st Century.

Surfcrest

[scottish-guy]

I'm not getting into the "language" issue - but Kommie, are you seriously suggesting that your contributions are "pearls"??

:))

[DamienZ]

Congrats Bruce on the enviable success of your current triad. Much luck and good will.

I'm not getting into the "language" issue - but Kommie, are you seriously suggesting that your contributions are "pearls"??

:))Not really, it's more the trampling swine.

[loke]

Ok I agree. lets use bf instead of rentboy, much better imho.
I met a new bf yesterday and I will meet another one tomorrow . Life is good.

Ok I agree. lets use bf instead of rentboy, much better imho. I met a new bf yesterday and I will meet another one tomorrow . Life is good.Here I am in lovely Thailand the Land of Boys. I'm going to meet a rent boy today and I'll probably meet another one tomorrow. Or maybe the same one. I'll f*ck him, I'll pay him and in a few days time I'll be back home again. And let's hope to god he doesn't use Darlie toothpaste.

[bobsaigon2]

I think some readers were reluctant to accept the OPтАЩs use of тАЬboyfriendтАЭ simply because his posts about his love/lust life have always ranged from humorous to hilarious to ludicrous, especially his attempt to formalize his longer multiple relationships by introducing the term тАЬPolyamoryтАЭ to a thread last year.

Eventually he may get around to filing a fianc├й petition to bring a lucky тАЬbfтАЭ to the States, only to find that the US consulтАЩs view of visa-eligible relationships is not Polyamorous. lol

But why take issue with his use of тАЬbfтАЭ ? ItтАЩs harmless enough and thereтАЩs nothing to indicate that the boys mind it.

[mark86]

Sorry for asking this question here, but I know Bruce nyc posted on the old Thailand Bitch Board. I have not been able to access the bitch board for more than a week. Is it closed now or has it changed its name?