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lonelywombat
February 23rd, 2014, 13:19
Thailand (mis)adventure
Posted by LGBT Weekly Bill's Briefs, Bottom Highlights Thursday, February 13th, 2014

http://lgbtweekly.com/2014/02/13/thailand-misadventure/

Social Chaos: Bill's Briefs

By Bill Hanson

We joined an elephant tour and watched them pull and push huge logs, have a tug of war and dance (a hula!). Later we fed them expensive bananas, but declined a jaunt in a dirty, flimsy howdah; we stayed on the ground where nothing untoward could happen. While some in our group were riding and others buying тАЬivoryтАЭ trinkets, we walked back toward the bus. Turning a corner of the arena, I bumped into the rear end of an immense elephant. The timing couldnтАЩt have been worse. A raised tail and massive cavern with vibrating edges caught my sight for a never to be forgotten instant before all went black. A huge fart had exploded right in my face; the blast blowing my hat off and into a nearby pool of piss! Stunned, dazed. What to do? What else тАУ I threw up. My partner was embarrassed. He was embarrassed? Excuse me! He and our guide, having escaped the fetid fumes of flatulence, were convulsed with unseemly hysteria. The beastтАЩs тАЬmahoutтАЭ (age about 12) took action. He severely reprimanded the culprit by hitting his massive leg with that little stick with a hook saying in English for my benefit, тАЬBad effelant. Bad effelant.тАЭ Effelant evinced not a shred of remorse. With eyes stinging and half shut, I was led to the toilet for a clean-up; a humiliation I shall omit. I thanked the attendant there by graciously offering him my slowly sinking hat. He replied with a gesture of universal rudeness.

A stench of inhuman design saturated my clothes to the point I was voted off the bus to be driven back in a 3-wheeled tuk-tuk (Thai for тАЬdeath carтАЭ). We have signed up for the snake farm next. I shudder already.

What were the clues?

When many of us came out to family and friends, we were surprised their response was тАЬoh, we always thought soтАЭ or тАЬwe knewтАЭ. What had led them to that conclusion? Thinking back, the clues probably started with the Christmas or birthday gifts: the princess doll with the long hair, tiara and fabulous ball gown: as opposed to, the GI Joe uniform, the trucks and the football. When receiving these gender specific gifts, our pleasure or disappointment may have led our parents and others to begin wondering, тАЬHmmm. Could it be possible?тАЭ In school it didnтАЩt pass unnoticed how subdued we were with those of our own sex, but we came to life and seemed to loved being with the opposite group. Add to that how much or how little attention we paid to clothes, sports and haircuts and that was another give-away. Major clues were the way we spoke and the words we used i.e. describing a frat house as тАЬcharming, yet with a masculine ambienceтАЭ was a sure way of not being invited to the Toga Party. The gay jocks and feminine lesbians avoided these admittedly stereotypical situations, but for many of us passing as straight that was not possible. I was what I was; I undoubtedly left clues all around me for those who cared to notice and IтАЩm sure many of you did too. Strangely, others sometimes came to understand us before we did ourselves. Gay/lesbian topics were forbidden and unmentionable then. We were left so naive we didnтАЩt even have a name for our different feelings. How lucky is the new generation in an LGBT world unrecognizable to us seniors.
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lonelywombat
February 23rd, 2014, 13:23
Also in the same newsletter

Bangkok walkabout
Posted by LGBT Weekly Bill's Briefs, Bottom Highlights Thursday, January 30th, 2014

Social Chaos: Bill's Briefs

By Bill Hanson
http://lgbtweekly.com/2014/01/30/bangkok-walkabout/
Khao San Road, Bangkok at night | PHOTO: KEVIN POH

Ignoring the rumors of unrest amongst the locals, we have arrived in Bangkok for a few days before heading north to quieter and cooler Chiang Mai. As usual, we soon skip the tourist areas and wander around the ordinary neighborhoods. At our age we often have to stop for a drink or ice cream. Business is business and with gestures we get our refreshment every time. We are careful not to take photos since it is invasive to many residents. The result is a very friendly atmosphere. People understand we are interested in them, their crafts or a special local sight. They then want us to take pictures.

We take precautions to be sure; no venturing into an obvious slum area or into a maze of tiny alleys. We stay on the main streets near the train, bus or subway station and we have the business card from the hotel. At night we stay near the center of things where the atmosphere is decidedly not ordinary. In fact, in certain areas beautiful and handsome young people are especially friendly inviting us into their quaint cafes for тАЬspecial shows.тАЭ We are polite, but keep walking. The more aggressive ones follow us showing photos of the culturally diverse services offered. Etiquette demanded we at least look at them. Strangely, to my partnerтАЩs amusement, they invariably show him photos of girls and me of young men. Why?

Friday night gatherings

Soon the gals will be heading to their new, but old, favorite hangout and the guys will surely find a new early Friday night scene. To the dismay of the seniors, however, in both places things will be as usual. We, the older group, will sit, look and kibitz among ourselves. The younger generation will drink and chat among themselves. The twain will never meet. But, as this column often suggests, letтАЩs mingle a little. Seniors have great stories to tell: We saw (and some of us knew) the legends тАУ Elvis, Marilyn, Marlene, Martina, Bette; and we were there: Woodstock, Stonewall, Vietnam. So ask.

Be brave and chat a few minutes with an older guy or gal. It is up to you, however, to start the conversation. If we do, it is assumed we want to drag you into the alley and engage in unspeakable acts. Not so (usually). Many of us just want a chance to get an idea of what the younger generation is all about. How to begin? тАЬDo you have a match?тАЭ doesnтАЩt seem to work anymore. Try a simple тАЬHi,тАЭ followed by тАЬIs this anything like the first gay/lesbian bar you were in?тАЭ As easy as that. Conversation will soon follow. If it doesnтАЩt, the person is probably in shock from being spoken to. Keep trying.

You are not trapped. After a few minutes, just say, тАЬGot to keep mingling. Nice talking to you. See you around.тАЭ Remember, some day it will be your turn to be standing in our shoes.

Smiles
February 24th, 2014, 16:34
" ... To the dismay of the seniors, however, in both places things will be as usual. We, the older group, will sit, look and kibitz among ourselves. The younger generation will drink and chat among themselves. The twain will never meet. But, as this column often suggests, letтАЩs mingle a little. Seniors have great stories to tell ... "
They sure do! And here's one of 'em:

" ... Turning a corner of the arena, I bumped into the rear end of an immense elephant. The timing couldnтАЩt have been worse. A raised tail and massive cavern with vibrating edges caught my sight for a never to be forgotten instant before all went black. A huge fart had exploded right in my face; the blast blowing my hat off and into a nearby pool of piss! Stunned, dazed. What to do? What else тАУ I threw up ... "
If the Younger Crowd don't laugh their bubble butts off (so to speak) ~ every time! ~ at that precious moment, then call me an elephant's asshole. LOVE those vibrating edges :))

Not really sure where you are going with this school-marmly lesson Lonely, (are you lonely?) but I rather agree with the YC . . . I'd rather sniff a pachyderm's rear end than start up an of-the-cuff conversation with saggy geriatrics opining with great seriousness the heres and theres of Elvis (a morbidly obese drug addict) or Vietnam (!!???) or bell bottoms or Nehru jackets.

francois
February 24th, 2014, 21:43
If the Younger Crowd don't laugh their bubble butts off (so to speak) ~ every time! ~ at that precious moment, then call me an elephant's asshole. LOVE those vibrating edges .

There are worse things than an elephant fart:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ske8AG5q74