Have you ever formally dated?

[cdnmatt]

I just realized something. I'm in my early 30s, and I've never actually been on a date before. Well, except when I was say 13/14, but those don't count.

With my first husband, we just met at a small party, and ended up getting along well. Afterwards we kept in touch via e-mail and phone, and I went out to Toronto a few times to visit. After a while I ended up moving in, and a couple months later we were in a relationship. Then for the rest of my encounters, they were always random occurences -- bar, party, friend of a friend, or whatever.

Never had an actual date though, where it's, "ok, meet you at abc restaurant at 7pm saturday". And I'm not talking about hooking up with some guy off GR, but an actual date.

Anyway, that begs the question. Have you ever formally dated like this? Or have you just let everything flow as it was intended?

[Sooty]

Are you mad? Even straights don't date these days. Fuck first and then ...

[TOQ]

Yes, when I was a young man I went on many dates. But that was so long ago it was called "courting" :)

[timmberty]

yes he is mad. his first husband !!!

[bidreamer]

Nice question by OP, kind of romantic ... But I think the angry black pussy is mostly right in his answer, unfortunately. Same, same for me... However, I wonder, is it possible to have kind of post-fuck dating? Like with the intention of developing something more serious. This kind of thing happened with my thai friend ... we went out to eat somehere relatively upscale (joint choice of place), drink a bit and just stroll along beachfront. We both dressed up a bit for these occasions, so it sure felt like dating. And the purpose is still the same, to get to know if we are suitable for each other out of the bed.

[scottish-guy]

Does sharing a toilet cublicle with a complete stranger count as "formal dating"?

[joe552]

in your case, scottish-guy, it probably does.

Matt, if you mean going out with a guy before having sex with him, then yes, I dated when I first came out back in my 20s (not THE 20s, s-g). Back then, homosexuality was still illegal in Ireland, so it was all rather tame and under the radar, compared to today.

[scottish-guy]

... back in my 20s....it was all rather tame and under the radar....

You surely don't expect us to believe there was any such thing as "radar" when you were in your 20's?

:-s

[Jellybean]

A Thai тАШboyтАЩ, on PlanetRomeo, contacted me in May 2013 when I was back in the UK. We kept in contact with each other by message or тАШphone call on LINE until I arrived in Thailand in October.

We met for the first time at Starbucks, at the Silom Complex in Bangkok, on 13 October. We met again at my apartment on 29 October when we had dinner at our poolside restaurant.

Our тАШrelationshipтАЩ has yet to be consummated.

Not sure if this constitutes formal dating cdnmatt, but there does seem to be a natural flow to it.

He just done want to tell you it aint gonna happen.

[Jellybean]

IтАЩm afraid, on this occasion, you are wrong BrisbaneGuy.

After dinner we returned to my apartment. I gave him a present of three pair of Diesel underwear, which I brought from the UK. And he, being someone who appreciates designer wear, seemed thoroughly delighted with them. He immediately put on one pair (discreetly behind my back) and sat with me in his new underwear. He cuddled up to me on the sofa in a very intimate fashion and we spoke at length about the possibility of a relationship.

But it was me who had serious doubts and did not take things to the next level and suggested we take things slowly for now. I honestly canтАЩt really decide whether I want to get involved in a relationship right now or whether being a butterfly suits my current mood.

Sorry to have ruined your theory. :)

[francois]

Sorry to have ruined your theory. :)

Heck, you ruined my fantasy! Jellybean you must be a real saint to have an almost nude boy cuddling together and nothing happened.

[cdnmatt]

Matt, if you mean going out with a guy before having sex with him, then yes, I dated when I first came out back in my 20s (not THE 20s, s-g). Back then, homosexuality was still illegal in Ireland, so it was all rather tame and under the radar, compared to today.

Sure, that counts! And so does Jellybean's.

Was just asking because my old next door neighbor is setting me up with a pharmacist, one of her daughter's friends from university. Not sure what my neighbor is doing. Maybe she just feels bad for all the shit Kim put me through, and wants to see me with someone decent. She's got that typical, loving, caring mother personality to her.

Heard about this guy about 6 weeks ago, when my neighbor asked if she could give him my number. Then never heard anything, and a few nights ago a call comes in from my neighbor, just checking in to see if I'm still single. Then sure enough, a little while later a text message comes in from some guy I've never met, introducing himself. Will have to take him out for dinner this weekend. Not really in the mood for a boyfriend, but what the hell, can't hurt.

[blazer]

Well, back when I was young I believe you could still be beheaded for being gay.

So, no, the thought of gay dating never crossed my mind.

[Jellybean]

Was just asking because my old next door neighbor is setting me up with a pharmacist, one of her daughter's friends from university ...
Ah тАж you are talking about a blind date cdnmatt. Sounds very romantic, hope all goes well and he turns out to be your type.


Heck, you ruined my fantasy! Jellybean you must be a real saint to have an almost nude boy cuddling together and nothing happened.
Well Francois, I wouldnтАЩt exactly say that nothing happened. I am definitely no saint, I did have stirrings in the тАШdownstairs departmentтАЩ and I did stroke his legs. He had a lovely combination of very soft skin on his thighs and lots of lovely hair on his legs тАж a particular favourite of mine.

But the big problem, for me anyway, was that he is too thin and just a little too camp for my taste. And we have been talking about a relationship from the beginning. I therefore didnтАЩt want to mislead him by having sex then telling him I didnтАЩt want to have a relationship. I had too much respect for him to do that.

Moreover, I had also said from the beginning, if we didnтАЩt like each other sexually, I hoped we could remain friends. To be honest, when I said that, I thought he would be the one to say тАШnoтАЩ to me. Had he done so at our first meeting, that would have solved the problem for me.

Don't get me wrong, he is a lovely, intelligent guy who has a very good command of the English language and he seems serious about a relationship. But I just wasnтАЩt sure that I wanted a relationship with him and therefore brought out the old, tried and tested clich├й тАЬLetтАЩs take things slowly.тАЭ

[christianpfc]

I think I had the opposite of formally dating on one occasion on my first holiday. We met in DJ station, then he stayed over night in my room and the following morning I had to ask "Can I have your phone number? Oh, by the way, what is your name?". As far as I know, the normal order of events is the other way round: name, phone number, sex.

I have met a few boys in public places, yes I remember one case this year where I invited a boy for dinner in Terminal 21 before going to my room. But most cases are his room or my room or meet at the beach or in disco and then go to room.

And there is another guy (not Thai) whom I recently met for dinner and we indicated mutual interest, but place and time was unfavorable. That was another moment for the "retard" thread, towards the end of our dinner he told me that he didn't bring money and asked if I could pay for his meal. When I meet someone, I clearly indicate if I invite him or if we go Dutch. The boy in questions in a Silom regular, so money does not seem to a problem, so this was a go Dutch situation, and he told me he would pay me back. We then proceeded to go Sukhumvit to meet up with friends of him, and he ordered a bucket of a cocktail for 600 Baht and got drunk on this during the evening. His friends left, and I left too, leaving him (drunk, alone, with a bill of 600 Baht to be paid) waiting for another friend of his who would come and bring his money. (Update: everything went well, the friend came and he could pay his bill. I am still waiting for my money, but didn't bring up this subject when we met again in DJ station on Sunday as he was drunk and I want to see if he pays me back without me having to ask for it.)

[Jellybean]

... towards the end of our dinner he told me that he didn't bring money and asked if I could pay for his meal.
IтАЩm surprised you didnтАЩt say, тАЬPay for your meal? DonтАЩt you know who I am?тАЭ

Sorry ChristianPFC, I just couldnтАЩt resist that one! ;)

[Dax]

Christian,

May I ask what the Silom regular's meal cost you?

[pennyboy]

If that's your attempt at humour you should have no problen "Walking Alone"

[scottish-guy]

Jellybean - you probably suspected it, maybe even "feared" it - every one of Giggsy's "jokes" was nicked from Bernard Manning.

Seriously.

For the benefit of most SGT members, Bernard Manning was an English "comedian" specialising in racist jokes (now deceased)


[attachment=0:m3xjl6ay]giggsy.jpg[/attachment:m3xjl6ay]

[christianpfc]

We had pizza in Siam Paragon 4th floor (see the pizza thread on gaythailand.com).

His meal was about 220 Baht.

Even if I don't get it back, it is money well spend: for 220 Baht I know that he as an alcohol problem, can't manage his money and has no manners (if I had to borrow money from someone, I would be on his doorstep the following day to pay it back, he hasn't even mentioned it - maybe all was a ploy to get a dinner invitation?). Nonetheless, we might end up in bed some time.

[loke]

I have many so called dates in Thailand and no sex involved. Dinner and just hanging out , well maybe more friends than a real romantic date.

With Thai boys it is different of course. White boys I have less success with .