An other Newbie

You probably get a lot of those, so sorry if I am repeating things in time.

I just came living here in Thailand a couple of weeks ago. I have had my share of (longterm) holidays of course, which do not make me an expert, but I am also NOT stupid (anymore, I guess we all had to learn in the beginning :glasses7: )

I have been reading a few forums the past weeks and just decided to sign up for all of them in time and see what happens.
This one and GayButtonThai, or something like that, seems to be the most prominent regarding gay stuff, so you guys are the first. Could not post on the other one yet, because seems to need to be approved or something.

Anyway, for the time being I prefer to stay anonymous, if you don't mind. As you can see my avatar is not me.

After my extended years of "experience" during holidays and now decided to come and live here in Thailand, I am curious about where and how longterm farangs live here.

I am staying with a Thai woman in Pattaya, whom I have known for almost 9 years and has her own business, with an extra room upstairs, which I could have. Basically free and daily Thai meals, cleaning/washing and all. I have calculated in the past (holidays) how much I use in her place. Comes down to 4-5 bottles of water, 2 home cooked Thai meals and electric/water (no aircon). My best guess is, it cost her between 4000-5000 baht a month.
Keep in mind that any other stuff I buy myself, like coffee, hygiene stuff, milk and so on.

Without get a lot of s..t over me, it has nothing to do with being a cheap charlie, but I like her and her family and they like me. I prefer to live among Thais, then in a condominium with daily drunk farangs and such. I am not interested in the Gay Scene (anymore), been there done that. I just want a relaxing life, with nice people, which this is.

I am thinking of giving her 10.000 baht per month, which should give her an extra 5000 to do as she pleases. Next to that, yes extra stuff like sometimes drinking together at her/my place (on the road), just supermarket prices. Anyway the years of holiday experiences with her has proven that stuff like the extras is almost 50-50 between me and her+associates.

She is the closets "thing" for here in Thailand, in my experience, I could have to a family, yes she is more then a friend. We have done everything together, from happy, drunk, crying, party and much more. Of course the only thing we have NOT done together is the sex thing. I am gay and she is a she.

Well for now, what are you thoughts about it and do you think 10.000 is enough per month.

Thanks, A. L.

[arsenal]

Confusing, to be honest.

I am sorry, what is confusing?

Can't a gay man have Thai (female) friends or what?

I will be happy to elaborate if needed, but you need to be more clear and less confusing yourself.

[francois]

As it is; your post is somewhat confusing. Not quite sure if you are asking a question or just stating your situation. But, if a question, yes give the Thai lady 10,000 Baht/month at least.

[scottish-guy]

You're asking about money and women.

Christianpfc is the man for this topic.

Is she throwing in her son as well?

So you don't want to associate with us farangs and you cant stand the gay scene but you want our advice?

You make your bed you lie in it.

[Monty-old]

Hi
Don't ask Us,,, Ask the lady,she will soon tell you if it is not enough.
OR
You could marry the lady, they say two can live as cheap as one.

Mmmm, Just ask any of your straight buddies, Over 40. Marriage with out sex. Nothing New.

[joe552]

I agree that your post is confusing - you've known the woman for years yet still have to ask this question on a message board? why not just ask her how much rent she wants for the room? if she says 5000, why pay her more?

[adman5000]

Personally I can understand your point of view. We all want different things - it sounds like you just want a peaceful, unattached, positive Thai living experience. I see nothing wrong with that. I have always been interested in the Thai attitude of enjoying the "now" and spend more time talking to Thai than farang.

Some additional information might help - what is your age, her age, her marital status, her financial position, your financial position, and what constitutes "her family" and "her associates"?

If you can afford it, she could use the extra money, the 10.000 seems like a reasonable starting point to be connected to a comfortable and peaceful Thai family circumstance. If you felt you wanted to do more, I am sure house things will come up that you can cover as a +. I would also keep in mind that money is not everything. I don't know what her view is , but she may just be grateful to have a platonic relationship - no husband, but male companionship and a sharing cost arrangement.

It sounds like something worth trying. :glasses7:

[bucknaway]

It would be impossible for me to judge the compensation she deserves without seeing the room you will have and the building you will stay in. The location will also have a big part in what I would think was fair also. It would depends on how the both of you get along, add to that, now you will be living under her roof with her family.... In your position I would hope for the best but plan for the worse. Make sure you have a back-up plan. Be sensitive to any change that would indicate that by living with her the magic of your friendship is fading away.

Beyond that, I say do what you want to do and good luck to you.

[Smiles]

" ... I prefer to live among Thais, then in a condominium with daily drunk farangs and such. I am not interested in the Gay Scene (anymore), been there done that. I just want a relaxing life, with nice people, which this is ... "
If this list really is your goal then why on earth would you choose Pattaya to live? There are hundreds of areas in Thailand where it might be easier to fulfill your needs rather than a full-bore-party, noisy, dirty city like Pattaya. The beach there is unswimmable, the traffic is manic, the scamming is 24/7, and the sidewalks covered in a layers of black grease. Pattaya is a fun town for sure (in small bites), but it is clearly not the place for you if your desires above are true.
I think, you are not thinking at all clearly about this.

Is she throwing in her son as well?

So you don't want to associate with us farangs and you cant stand the gay scene but you want our advice?

You make your bed you lie in it.

There are plenty of other places to meet other farangs, gay or not, then in the prostitution area's.
You would be amazed how many farangs I have met over the years just by living Thai style.

Guess you are not one of them, which is fine.
Just because I am done with the whole gay scene, does not mean I don't want to associate with farangs, just another type of farang.
I hope here are some of those and if not, well guess you will be right and I have nothing to do here. Time will tell.

Hi
Don't ask Us,,, Ask the lady,she will soon tell you if it is not enough.
OR
You could marry the lady, they say two can live as cheap as one.

Mmmm, Just ask any of your straight buddies, Over 40. Marriage with out sex. Nothing New.

It is the end of the month and I of course need to give her something, it is the decent thing to do.
But I also look at it from the opposite perspective, if it was my home and I had somebody living here who just gets the basics, I would not want any money, that is friendship/family in my book.

It is not a real issue, I just don't want to insult here or something. Guess I will see tonight how she reacts when I give her the money.

I see no reason to marry her. Who knows maybe she will meet someone in time again, after her lousy disappointing ex-husband.

Personally I can understand your point of view. We all want different things - it sounds like you just want a peaceful, unattached, positive Thai living experience. I see nothing wrong with that. I have always been interested in the Thai attitude of enjoying the "now" and spend more time talking to Thai than farang.

Some additional information might help - what is your age, her age, her marital status, her financial position, your financial position, and what constitutes "her family" and "her associates"?

If you can afford it, she could use the extra money, the 10.000 seems like a reasonable starting point to be connected to a comfortable and peaceful Thai family circumstance. If you felt you wanted to do more, I am sure house things will come up that you can cover as a +. I would also keep in mind that money is not everything. I don't know what her view is , but she may just be grateful to have a platonic relationship - no husband, but male companionship and a sharing cost arrangement.

It sounds like something worth trying. :glasses7:

Thank you adman5000.

She is almost 40 and I am at the end of 40. We are both single, have our belly full of relationships.
Financially we are both in the same position. We get by just fine, can live a good life and such.
I can easily miss the 10.000 and she does not really need it.

The part I made bold in your post, decribes us both and yes, I am sure in time other money thing will come up and I will be there to do my share.
I just do not want to take advantage of the situation and feel I need to do my part.

Tonight I will open the discussion with her and see how it goes. I will post the result here afterwards.

Thanks, A.L.

[Sooty]

" ... I prefer to live among Thais, then in a condominium with daily drunk farangs and such. I am not interested in the Gay Scene (anymore), been there done that. I just want a relaxing life, with nice people, which this is ... "If this list really is your goal then why on earth would you choose Pattaya to live? Aw c'mon Smiles what's not to like about Pattaya? After all that great English institution The Guardian once called it the Great Escape (http://www.theguardian.com/uk/2005/apr/11/ukcrime.thailand). Clearly these are the classy ex-pats that the OP is keen to meet and greet.

[Manforallseasons]

"As it Was -gone for a while"
She is almost 40 and I am at the end of 40. We are both single, have our belly full of relationships.

You don't want to be part of the "gay scene" yet you've made an effort to join the gay boards, sex is not important, you prefer the company of Thais as the above post says you are only the far side of 40...........

Something is rotten in Denmark........or shall we say Pattaya!

[Smiles]

So this guy (the OP) has not been seen lately, after quite a few responses and some questions: (which he ignored).
So now he is over on Gaybutton, asking the same question, and also whining mightily about the reception he received here: (a thread which Gaybutton put the kibosh on).
The smell of 'troll' rising?

[latintopxxx]

me thinks you may be overly suspicious. Not everyone that disagrees with you is a troll.

[loke]

Not a troll I think , he is just different from the rest of us , and want to live a thai life style , together with a woman , that lifestyle is much too uncomfortable for the members of this board.