Ake's Heartache

[James Barnes]

We met at a social gathering, in a group but soon found ourselves talking one to one. Despite his bonhomie, it was clear that something was troubling Ake. This slim and attractive 22 year old was friendly but though his smile was frequent, his eyes betrayed a sadness that he could not hide. His body language was nervous, edgy and there were some suspicious marks on his arms. Gentle small talk turned into a few dead ends but there was something about him that revealed that, deep down, he did want to open up. When he did, his story was tragic.

Ake was a country boy who had moved to the city in order to work in his sisterтАЩs massage shop and it was here that he met an Englishman who invited him out for dinner. Then aged 18, the young man was impressed by the fancy restaurant and even more impressed by the foreignerтАЩs modern and well-appointed house, situated far outside the city. Several dates followed and they became a couple. Soon, Ake had moved into the house and pledged to тАШtake careтАЩ. He had no savings and no income apart from the pocket money he was given but the man was kind and, maybe for the first time in his young life, Ake felt secure.

As is the way with these arrangements, a domestic routine was soon established. They got up quite early in the morning and Ake would prepare breakfast after which the man, in his early sixties, would spend a few hours on his computer while Ake cleaned the house, watered the garden and prepared lunch. The man would always take a nap during the afternoon and Ake passed the time on the computer, keeping in touch with his young Thai friends via Facebook. At the stroke of 4 pm, he would make some tea and knock on the bedroom door, which was kept locked during the siesta- he never understood why but asked no questions.

This continued for four years and all was well until one afternoon, the knock on the bedroom door was unanswered. Tears welled up in AkeтАЩs big brown eyes as he told me what happened next. His slim frame met solid resistance from the door but it eventually yielded and the man looked like he was asleep. He was dead. A heart attack was AkeтАЩs guess. He smoked too much, drank too much and took little exercise. Ake had never seen a corpse before and he really did not know what to do. His mind was confused, he was scared, and there were no friends nearby. Then he remembered that the man had a brother in England and the number was in the dead manтАЩs phone.

Crying, he made the call and broke the news. The brother demanded to know who he was. Ake told him and did not understand why the man was shouting but did get that he would be in Thailand on the next available flight. It was three days before the taxi drew up outside the house and disgorged the man, his wife and his sister. Three days with just food from the cupboards as Ake could not drive the car. Three days of crying and worry about what would happen. Had he done something wrong? Three days of sharing the house with a dead man. Three days of terror.

It was more than unfortunate that the manтАЩs family had no idea that their dead relative was gay. They refused to believe that Ake was his partner and abused him for suggesting it. It was more than unfortunate that there was no will. They threw Ake out onto the street with a knapsack full of his clothes and just a couple of hundred baht in his pocket. He does not know what happened to the man, the house or the family. He does not know why he feels so guilty and has started to self-harm- explaining those marks on his arms. He does not question why the man made no provision for him. I do. Affection and a semblance of security are secondary to respect and responsibility. Is it not obvious that if you have a much younger lover that certain plans have to be made? And how can you tell a heartbroken boy like Ake that his lover was a thoughtless shit?

[Nirish guy]

Thoughtless - no selfish more like :-(( Sad story and if not true so easy how one could see how easily it could and probably does happen in Thailand in both gay and str8 arrangements - is it a bit of wonder the boys try to secure what they can when they can from us as it would be a brave man that shows his new guys that "don't worry I've written you into my will and you get my half a million dollars life insurance should I die" - ground floor apartment definitely in order if that's the case I fear ! ;-)

[scottish-guy]

The scenario is, unfortunately, not unique to Thailand.

Here in the UK, I believe a rather famous knighted film actor and entertainer - on being committed by his family to an Nursing Home due to Alzheimer's - left his partner of many, many years in the same situation.

I understand the partner got next to nothing and was forbidden to even visit the Nursing Home. I heard this from one of the Care Home staff in whom he confided.

I won't say the name because I don't believe the full extent of the situation was public knowledge - and even though the actor is now dead, it is third-party information.

Moral of both stories - it's sensible to take all steps necessary to keep your money-grabbing bastard relatives at bay once you pop your clogs or lose your marbles. They've probably spent the last 50 years calling you an old Poof anyway!! Unfortunately many do not like to think of their own mortality and do not take these steps (myself included)

[SimpleSoul]

Sadly this almost exactly similar scenario occurred in Hong Kong.

I had a BF whose previous BF had died unexpectedly. The grotesque family arrived from the UK, leeched off the distraught BF, removed and took everything plus they left a string of debts. These were Christians, by the way. The BF was grief stricken and bereft; when I met him he didn't tell me about all this until just before he committed suicide when the odious debt collectors were chasing him to his grave. He didn't want to be a bother to me. You may imagine how this has affected me.

The world can be a hateful place. I feel for Ake.

SS.

[bobsaigon2]

Thanks, OP. This thread reminded me to continune making wire transfers to my US dollar account here in Vietnam. If the need arises, regulations allow me to repatriate the dollars. Otherwise, due to our executing a Power (Letter) of Attorney with the bank, my partner will have full access to the amout on deposit when I pass away, thus eliminating the need for a will, probate, etc. I trust my siblings implicitly but when the time comes, they might not be able to figure out how to make disbursements from my will to overseas recipients...... and they might be a bit shocked to learn that my partner of all these years turns out to be of the same sex as me....whatever that might be. :-)

[bucknaway]

It could be that the old guy knew what he was doing and didn't want his roommate or boyfriend to get anything once he died. It could be that the guy was as miserable in real life as some trolls are when on the internet

[ikarus]

The Op described a houseboy not a boyfriend and houseboy hardly should be entitled to any kind of inheritance. Everybody who ever had a Thai boyfriend (and apparently nobody participating in this thread so far ever did)
knows that he understands his status very well and will never perform the duties of house boy. In most of the cases bf will remind more than once about postmortem arrangements to his farang and will definitely make sure that he is not out without nothing. Why OP posted such bullshit which has nothing to do with reality and tries to portray gay farangs in relationships with Thais in such a negative and unrealistic light is frankly beyond me.

[christianpfc]

And how can you tell a heartbroken boy like Ake that his lover was a thoughtless shit?

Thoughtless shit? I would have chosen different words.

(Side note: ricequeendiary stopped blogging because some comment on his last post, that a tourist who prays to the crematorium in a wat is not "stupid", but "ignorant".)

[Sooty]

Like many of us the Englishman probably thought he was immortal. The number of people who come to see me in my practice who don't have a Will is truly astounding. I was somewhat amused by the comment that Ake whiled away his lonely hours catching up with his young Thai friends on Facebook. The entire story reads like a highly fictionalized account of an anecdote heard third-hand, written by someone who fancies himself as a story-teller.

[James Barnes]

Please note that Ake is a real guy, with real feelings and what was written in the original post was the story as he told it to me.

JB.

[bao-bao]

Please note that Ake is a real guy, with real feelings and what was written in the original post was the story as he told it to me.
No way for anyone reading it to know that, JB, but don't let that stop you from sharing the stories. Blustering old blowhards are entitled to their opinions, too - regardless of how wrong they may be. Not speaking the language I've often had an interpreter along when I've been collecting personal histories or information, but they are still unverifiable writings. The many stories I've posted are true, also, and it's really not important to me if one or two people question a detail or two. The gogo boy who was raped, the retired gogo I met at the home his customers bought, the guy who has multiple farang supporting him and the gogo boy who was beaten by the club owner were all true stories (with minor changes to protect anonymity). I've been slapped down for all four of them, but that's really no concern to me.

[timmberty]

" Blustering old blowhards are entitled to their opinions, too - regardless of how wrong they may be."

how wonderful of you to give people a chance and for them to have their say.

i remember the story you told about the boy who was beaten by the club owner, i would never have stepped inside a place like that to give the owner any of my money.
sadly i have no idea if i have been into his bar or not, as dispite how badly he treated this boy and probably many others you never actually told us what bar it was, so we could avoid it.
still it was a good story.

[bao-bao]

Sadly i have no idea if i have been into his bar or not, as dispite how badly he treated this boy and probably many others you never actually told us what bar it was, so we could avoid it.
still it was a good story.
Thank you. The "blustering old blowhard" label could be applied to me on an exceptionally bad day, too. Fortunately I rarely have days like that. Besides, the curmudgeonly persona has been done to death by plenty of others already.

I intentionally didn't mention the name of the club, but if you read the comments in the 4th (last) part you may recall I'd said:

The club is now something else, and my hope is that the owner is far, far away. That in and of itself would be a happy ending.
...so you don't have to worry about rewarding the guy's bad behavior.

[dab69]

Always slept behind a locked door....

There is a clue there somewhere.
Didn't trust the "friend" much.

Only one side of the story is being told here.
Useless to hypothesize.

[scottish-guy]

Isn't hypothesising exactly what you are doing?

[SimpleSoul]

Scottish guy is right. There could be all sorts of reasons why that farang slept behind a locked door. In the absence of evidence it doesn't really help to make a judgement.. even if it is outside of most people's way of behaving. It is not necessarily either negative or positive. It is just what we know.

[latintopxxx]

been following this thread and am amazed by some of the responses...ake was simply a house boy...if he had been a 55 year old woman I wonder what the reaction would have been...its not like he was a live in lover...he cleaned and cooked...hardly relationship material...at most he should have gottem 3 or 4 months severance pay.
But to expect the farang to set him up for life after 4 short years of company is ridiculous...totally nuts!!!

[scottish-guy]

...ake was simply a house boy...ito expect the farang to set him up for life after 4 short years of company is ridiculous..

I am loathe to let you get away with (appearing to be) making breathtaking assumptions which completely fly in the face of the only "evidence" that we have, i.e. the boy's account as related through James Barnes' post.


....Several dates followed and they became a couple...... the manтАЩs family had no idea that their dead relative was gay. They refused to believe that Ake was his partner ....He does not know why he feels so guilty and has started to self-harm- explaining those marks on his arms... Is it not obvious that if you have a much younger lover...

Now, unless you come out and tell us that you knew either Ake or the farang personally and that JB has been spun a line, then I do not see how you are entitled to rubbish his story and expect your alternative and unevidenced version to be taken seriously.

[latintopxxx]

..oh for goodness sake...boo hoo...sob...sob...little innocent country hottie....finds an old farange...KA CHING....only there was no ka ching...hence the boo hoo....after a couple of dates...became a couple...and after that only cooking and cleaning...no sex...intimate moments...the farang even slept behind a LOCKED door...this is not a relationship...he was a house boy...thats all...
Besides..totally ridiculous that some one after 4 short years expects to be set up for life...lazy fuck should have occupied himself getting an education....not face booking...

[scottish-guy]

Maybe if you had occupied yourself "getting an education" (instead of riding the cheapest available prostitutes like ponies, donkeys, and goats), you'd be better able to express yourself without peppering your post with dots. It looks more like morse code than prose.

:hello2:

[Nirish guy]

I'm confused, so, Latin's riding goats now too !!?? I would almost say I'm shocked but to be honest ...Meh :-)

[joe552]

it's a question of money NIrish - goats are cheaper than ponies - though I've personally found it hard to find either in Pattaya. I'm looking forward to a more detailed trip report from latin in that regard.

As for the original story - I read it as a real relationship, not an employer and houseboy - so the young man's response seemed honest to me.

[Nirish guy]

I'm just glad that you just didn't personally FIND IT HARD after finding either in Pattaya as anymore than one goat fucker on here and I'm outta here ! lol

And likewise I felt the guy was a lover not a houseboy, or at the least a younger guy who had moved in with his older farang lover / customer / patron whatever you want to call him and after that length of time he of course deserved to be though of more and not discarded like a cheap used book that had been read several times and so was of no use or value to the owner any longer.

it's a question of money NIrish - goats are cheaper than poniesAnd taste better too (yes Ive had both)

[timmberty]

isnt it funny how we just never seem to tire of defending the thais, ni i remember not so long ago me and you agreed that the thais have this wonderful habit of swaying the truth, i.e. all the rubbish they come out with day after day about how you done them wrong,how you said you were there's and there's alone, when you had said no such thing.

now here we have a story from a thai which he probably enhanced a bit himself, being told to us by a story teller who also likes to enhance things (thats his job) and here we are all meant to belive every word of it.
i think its the old thing of believe half of what you read then.... cant remember the rest of that saying. bugger me backwards,
not you latin, my names not dobbin.

[latintopxxx]

crap...now I find myself agreeing with timmberty....i must be doing something wrong!

[Zebedee]

it's a question of money NIrish - goats are cheaper than poniesAnd taste better too (yes Ive had both)

Yes and so has Latin!

Tell us, BrisbaneGuy was that before or after Latin " had his way" with them?

[scottish-guy]

crap...now I find myself agreeing with timmberty....i must be doing something wrong!


You're not doing anything wrong - it's just a case of "birds of a feather" ....

[timmberty]

crap...now I find myself agreeing with timmberty....i must be doing something wrong!


You're not doing anything wrong - it's just a case of "birds of a feather" ....

these are the sort of posts that make the board worth reading ...

still if you have not been to thailand for 2 years but feel the need to be the most seen voice of the board, its what you have to do.

appologise to minime for stealing his line.

[latintopxxx]

...not sure if that is a compliment!!!......anyway i cant be the only one who treats commercial "boys"like disposable items soley for my pleasure....I'm just honest and open about it!

[scottish-guy]

Ah, Timmy - it's SGT's turn to have the pleasure of your attendance today is it?

No doubt that'll be because (a little bird tells me) you got your arse handed to you elsewhere over on another board yesterday.

Since you're stealing MiniMee's line, you get the same answer - I missed being in Thailand in 2012 because I went elsewhere instead (Prague and Gran Canaria), is it impossible to comprehend that after many years of visiting Thailand I want to visit other places?

As for 2013 - maybe I've already been in Thailand, maybe I've still to visit, maybe I'll draw a blank again.

I'll let you know in 2014, since it obviously bothers you.

Meantime, do my holiday habits prevent me from forming an opinion on your outpourings? No.

[timmberty]

yes today i choose sgt i could have chosen gtf, but i thought you might be posting over there. i seemed to recall you moved in there for some reason. cant remember why tho.
as for my out pouring really dear, just because a thai boy tells you a story it doesnt have to be true. i mean look at your boyfriend who you've not seen for 2 years now .. do you think hes not shagging away whist you have abandoned him in thailand ? do you think he belives you when you say you have not seen anyone else.

this poor boy ake, here he is with a dead body and what does he do, call the police. no he calls the guys brother and sits with the body for 3 days.

and there is no mention in the story of him facing any police questioning just the brother coming from england and kicking him out. we dont know if he murdered him or he had a heart attack or someone else might have came in thru the bedroom window, or if he was protected by a silver spoon.
so many questions left unanwered but who are we to question it cause the guy who wrote the story is good friends with the ruler of russia.

yes your little birdy friend was right i got 30 days from the other board, tho im surprised as to how your little birdy knows about it, unless you still have a hot line to da boss .. as its not been made public knownledge yet over there. of course you could have read it on here where i have posted the same thing myself, but then you kinda lose the shock value you was after.
.. im surprised you dont post on there, you would fit in rather well most of the people like to spit bile as you do.

p.s. you really dont have to ruin every thread you post on nor take it off line ...

[scottish-guy]

Now don't play the raw prawn Timmy - you know very well why I transported myself to GT.

Incidentally, if you had chosen to go there (yet another place you flounced out of) instead of gracing our unworthy little Board today, you'd see I'm still there and posting occasionally.

As for my BF and myself apparently shagging all and sundry - well you have no way of knowing one way or the other - which is great because it bring us right back on-topic to "Ake's Heartache" where you are now playing Columbo (except a little bird tells me that Columbo was more attractive and better dressed than you).

According to you we now have the boy murdering the farang by some undefined means and apparently committing the perfect crime (except he's now left himself homeless and penniless of course - but don't let that muddy your theory). Meanwhile, neither the BIB nor the family suspect a thing - only you.

[attachment=0:slmghnho]pic3.jpg[/attachment:slmghnho]

[SimpleSoul]

You guys are most entertaining. Even around the saddest tale of late you can find ways to bicker.

[timmberty]

simple soul scotty is a peaceful man, he doesnt agree with any sort of confrontation, he will not darken the doors of any club that refuses entry to everyone, he will never believe war can be for the good .. all is fair for him when it comes to race and creed, but if someone he doesnt like posts on a board he uses .. well forget all that other stuff .. its a bit like "i dont mind where you build a refugee camp or a temple, as long as its not on my door step.

scotty this little bird who keeps you so well informed, seen me in pattaya has he ?? certainly not you then is it.