Nirish guy
August 4th, 2013, 22:43
So this afternoon turned out to be a very strange and different day than expected.
I was told by a very old friend waiter from one of the Soi Twilight bars that one of my other old friend waiters, neither of whom I'd ever gone with for sex but where just good friends, had died unexpectedly from an HIV related illness. This was a relatively young gay (maybe 30) who was very popular with many customers in the Soi and his passing will be sadly missed by many I'm sure.
I'm intentionally not mentioning either the guys name or the bar as the boss of the is, for obvious reasons, not wanting it known that one of his boys had HIV, but it is a sad reminder if any if us need it to take care of OURSELVES and not trust what we are necessarily told either by the bar or the boy as I know this guy was going with customers right up until the end and his attitude to condom use was "up to them, not my business, if they want to not use, ok I can do and if they use that's ok too" but I'm sure his customers didn't take his up to you in the sane way that he meant.
That aside he was a lively happy go lucky guy and I was very sad to hear of his (very fast) demise - as once he knew he was positive he just didn't go back to the doctor or take anymore treatment ( which could have saved his life) and simply worked on until he died - so sad.
So, when sitting over dinner with my other friend I then asked him when he'd last been tested and he cringed and admitted to maybe EIGHT years ago ( which I'm guessing actually meant never) and when I asked about the bar not enforcing tests etc he looked at me like "how long you come to Bangkok, are you still that stupid to believe that actually happens".
He then said the reason he didn't go as he was both scared of going but more importantly of finding out the result as being a VERY popular bar boy for over 15 years and going with customers several times a week and freely admiting sometimes he didn't use condoms when drunk or if the customer asked he just "assumed" that he was positive but didn't want to KNOW.
I explained that now with the advances made that he should ABSOLUTELY want to know as it could save his life and offered him that that we both go there and then and get tested which much to my surprise he agreed to. So off we went to Bangkok hospital and 700 baht and one hour later I was delighted to open our sealed results letters (as he was to scared to open his) amd be able to tell him that both he and I were both negative ( much to my amazement in his case!!!) and I can tell you that the smile that crossed his face and seeing a weight that had obviously been playing on his mind for some years being lifted in an instant was worth a million dollars and his absolutely realising he'd just dodged a massive bullet and now was adamant he was changing his ways after seeing his friend die made it all SO worth going through the process with him.
I have to say that I'm still a little surprised that Thai sex workers even have to pat for tests here - they should be free everywhere for them surely ? and although i was asked when we arrived the did we want to see a doctor and i said no ( as i assumed they thought we'd just had unprotected sex and he'd told me he was postive or somethung) but as I've said no they literally handed me the two sealed results letters in the public waiting area and (at his request and even I suggested going somewhere quieter) he wanted his opened straight away but I DREAD to think what I could have said or done to ease his pain if the result had been a positive one but figured if i seen the word positive id ask a doctor to soeak to him in thai first, but as all the nurses knew why we were there there was almost a collective round of applause and round of back
Slapping with him - with me thinking "wow things could have turned out VERY differently here today".
So, although not as if we NEED reminding to take care of ourselves im going to repeat that message if I may anyway fir sny Newbies reading this ( and ourselves) as you can and should never trust or and believe anything anyone else tells you as to their status and only you insisting on safer sex can protect YOU.
Meanwhile my friend and I are now going out to have a very large bullet dodging beer to celebrate his good LUCK and I just wish that I could have reached out to our other friend in time to help him too but I guess that just wasn't meant to be :-( May he RIP the poor guy :-(
I was told by a very old friend waiter from one of the Soi Twilight bars that one of my other old friend waiters, neither of whom I'd ever gone with for sex but where just good friends, had died unexpectedly from an HIV related illness. This was a relatively young gay (maybe 30) who was very popular with many customers in the Soi and his passing will be sadly missed by many I'm sure.
I'm intentionally not mentioning either the guys name or the bar as the boss of the is, for obvious reasons, not wanting it known that one of his boys had HIV, but it is a sad reminder if any if us need it to take care of OURSELVES and not trust what we are necessarily told either by the bar or the boy as I know this guy was going with customers right up until the end and his attitude to condom use was "up to them, not my business, if they want to not use, ok I can do and if they use that's ok too" but I'm sure his customers didn't take his up to you in the sane way that he meant.
That aside he was a lively happy go lucky guy and I was very sad to hear of his (very fast) demise - as once he knew he was positive he just didn't go back to the doctor or take anymore treatment ( which could have saved his life) and simply worked on until he died - so sad.
So, when sitting over dinner with my other friend I then asked him when he'd last been tested and he cringed and admitted to maybe EIGHT years ago ( which I'm guessing actually meant never) and when I asked about the bar not enforcing tests etc he looked at me like "how long you come to Bangkok, are you still that stupid to believe that actually happens".
He then said the reason he didn't go as he was both scared of going but more importantly of finding out the result as being a VERY popular bar boy for over 15 years and going with customers several times a week and freely admiting sometimes he didn't use condoms when drunk or if the customer asked he just "assumed" that he was positive but didn't want to KNOW.
I explained that now with the advances made that he should ABSOLUTELY want to know as it could save his life and offered him that that we both go there and then and get tested which much to my surprise he agreed to. So off we went to Bangkok hospital and 700 baht and one hour later I was delighted to open our sealed results letters (as he was to scared to open his) amd be able to tell him that both he and I were both negative ( much to my amazement in his case!!!) and I can tell you that the smile that crossed his face and seeing a weight that had obviously been playing on his mind for some years being lifted in an instant was worth a million dollars and his absolutely realising he'd just dodged a massive bullet and now was adamant he was changing his ways after seeing his friend die made it all SO worth going through the process with him.
I have to say that I'm still a little surprised that Thai sex workers even have to pat for tests here - they should be free everywhere for them surely ? and although i was asked when we arrived the did we want to see a doctor and i said no ( as i assumed they thought we'd just had unprotected sex and he'd told me he was postive or somethung) but as I've said no they literally handed me the two sealed results letters in the public waiting area and (at his request and even I suggested going somewhere quieter) he wanted his opened straight away but I DREAD to think what I could have said or done to ease his pain if the result had been a positive one but figured if i seen the word positive id ask a doctor to soeak to him in thai first, but as all the nurses knew why we were there there was almost a collective round of applause and round of back
Slapping with him - with me thinking "wow things could have turned out VERY differently here today".
So, although not as if we NEED reminding to take care of ourselves im going to repeat that message if I may anyway fir sny Newbies reading this ( and ourselves) as you can and should never trust or and believe anything anyone else tells you as to their status and only you insisting on safer sex can protect YOU.
Meanwhile my friend and I are now going out to have a very large bullet dodging beer to celebrate his good LUCK and I just wish that I could have reached out to our other friend in time to help him too but I guess that just wasn't meant to be :-( May he RIP the poor guy :-(