My Thailand scare

[Impulse]

Ive been on this forum since early 2005,when I discovered what a fun place Thailand can be for a gay man.During my last trip in November I had lots of sex with a couple guys from the bars and a few freelancers.I found out that one of the freelancers had aids and i had sex with him on three ocasions.I had planned on getting any freelancer tested for hiv before we had sex but failed to and just let my guard down.Like some have said before,treat everyone like they may be positive.Anyway it was too late for a pep by the time i had found out about his status,and oral is very low risk so I tried to let it go and get on with my vacation. After just two days upon my return home I came down with the flu,lasted about three days.Well,needless to say I thought I had contracted hiv.I went to my doc and got tested ,results negative for hep c and hiv.I was ecstatic for about one day,then the reality set in that it takes up to six weeks for the body to develope antibodies to the virus. i convinced myself I had the virus,there was no doubt in my mind.So instead of this forum Ive spent most of my time on the aidsmed forum and have learned as much about the virus as anyone could possiblyneed to know.My whole life had changed,my once fullfilling life had taken a drastic new turn,and not for the better! Would i ever be able to visit Thailand again?Could I bring the medication i would eventually need into the country? So many questions,mostly with depressingly negative answers.Will my lifesavings be gone with endless trips to the doctors and frequent hospitol visits and endless bloodtest?Lose my employment and healthinsurance.Did you know that antiviral drugs in America cost 20 to 30 thousand a year? ok,I delayed the test till April,about six months after I thought i had been infected and asked my doc for the test so I could enter the system and start with the battery of test.I called sevearal days later and was told that they would call me within half an hour.The nurse called back and said my test was negative.Negative!!? i replied.are you sure? Yes its the reliable elisa test were sure. So now I realised how much stress I had put myself thru the past six months.But ive learned a lesson,maybe several.Im gonna think before I act impulsively.Has anybody else gone thru this?Ive read how many guys going to Thailand negative come flying back positive but never thought it could happen to me,well thankfully Im ok but its something many here should think about.Im much happier being back to this forum and spending less timeon the aidsmed forum.

Been there done that......... Now im ultra careful and have regular checks to ease any worries. My Thai friends do too.

[Davey612]

I believe it is unrealistic to have any guy you have sex to be tested first. As you said, it takes awhile for the hiv antibody to show up. Besides, it is kind of imperialistic (for lack of a better world). Are you also willing to be tested so that you can show your companion that you are negative too?

So, the only two solutions so far. Ms. Bush's abstinance (hahaha), or that plastic bag called condom.

The chances from getting HIV from a few unprotected oral events is very, very, low, but I understand the reaction to getting the flu. I also agree it is totally unrealistic to test everyone if you are a butterfly and also meaningless if you are in a "stable" relationship, can you really trust ANYONE with your life. Just use condoms!!!!!

butterfly or not - everyone should have a regular test schedule as well as a healthy condom supply............. could you live with yourself if you had it and passed it on unknowingly? What scares me a bit is what will happen when they find a cure/vaccine....... Im sure other stds will rocket as people revert to bareback.

[Impulse]

I disagree that a test is meaningless.If I had this guy tested it would have shown positive.Im more than willing to be tested also,this is your life your playing with.If someone is not willing to be tested then forget sex.

I disagree that a test is meaningless.If I had this guy tested it would have shown positive.Im more than willing to be tested also,this is your life your playing with.If someone is not willing to be tested then forget sex.
That is fantasy land. There is no way in hell everyone is going to test everyone they pick up for a one off from a bar!
All you have to do is assume EVERYONE is positive and act accordingly!
So, lets see, you tested the boy and he is neg, so then what, you have unsafe sex! Ridiculous. He could be positive and not showing it yet. So, you are in a long term relationship in "love" and tests neg, so then what, unsafe sex? He or you could be a liar and sleeping around. Yes, of course, get tested, but also assume everyone is pos, and if you are not, much less chance you will be.

[Impulse]

Are you talking about useing a condom for oral sex?,not many people use them for that purpose.I use condoms if I top,I dont bottom.I meant getting anyone not working in a go go bar tested,the ones in the bar are supposedly tested,though i dont trust it.It is unrealistic to get every off from a go go bar tested i agree.

Are you talking about useing a condom for oral sex?,not many people use them for that purpose.I use condoms if I top,I dont bottom.I meant getting anyone not working in a go go bar tested,the ones in the bar are supposedly tested,though i dont trust it.It is unrealistic to get every off from a go go bar tested i agree.
Yes, you really should use condoms for oral sex with prostitutes. I know most people don't, but it is recommended by the CDC. And a heck of a lot more REAL LIFE PRACTICAL than doing an HIV test on every pickup! That said, risk from oral sex where he sucks you is very, very low, and where you suck him very low, so you plays the game and you takes your chances. UP TO YOU!

You absolutely should not trust that bars are testing the boys! Absurd to trust that. And besides HIV, from unprotected oral sex, there is a nasty list of other horrible diseases you could get. Yes, there is a very dark side to all this fun. Face it or not, it is there.

I recommend the banana flavoured ones. Or the lemons.

[Davey612]

I disagree that a test is meaningless.If I had this guy tested it would have shown positive.Im more than willing to be tested also,this is your life your playing with.If someone is not willing to be tested then forget sex.

Have you thought what to do if the guy was tested and turned positive? I usually don't flame like this. "Sorry Chai, can't have sex with you. You are positive." "Off you go." "Bye, take care of your buffalo when you can."

Or are you going to feign a headache, be quiet, and say sorry no sex. Here is a small tip.

See what I am saying? What will be your moral obligation besides the issue about protecting yourself?

I agree that lovers should test.
But studies have shown this is a very common way for people to get infected.
Lovers test neg.
Lovers then say OK to bareback.
Lovers cheat on the side, one gets infected, then infects the other.
Isn't love grand?

Can someone please tell me where a person can get anonymous testing in Pattaya?

Yes a testing place that has a 20 minute turnaround time, open til 3am and is conveniently located between the bars and the condo...

[Impulse]

Well davey,Im certainly more worried about my life than hurting a boys feelings,however I believe I would be doing him a favour in letting him know his status,dont you?Or would you rather he eventually lose his immune function altogether and in the meantime infect others.I would try to educate him about the disease and maybe try to get him into a program.Silence= death

[daa raa]

Are you talking about useing a condom for oral sex?,not many people use them for that purpose.I use condoms if I top,I dont bottom.I meant getting anyone not working in a go go bar tested,the ones in the bar are supposedly tested,though i dont trust it.It is unrealistic to get every off from a go go bar tested i agree.

I have talked with several boys and they say the boys in the bar are NOT routinely tested. I know some who have never had an HIV test.

[sing_lofty_sing]

I like to bottom and i would never allow this without protection. I also get flavoured condoms which make oral sex more tasty

Always assume the gun is loaded, act accordingly.

Always assume the gun is loaded, act accordingly.
EX SEX ACTLY!

[catawampuscat]

Since many of us were adults and active during the onslaught of HIV in the early 1980's, we are all very aware of HIV and know the horrors
of losing many friends and loved ones.. I have heard barebacking is now very common among young gay men who feel HIV is an older gay
man's disease and now manageable with drug cocktails.. Sex is more pleasurable without condoms and many now believe it is relatively safe
to bareback, especially if the partner looks healthy..Those of us who know better will use condoms religiously and accept the small loss
of pleasure for the peace of mind from condom use..
Using condoms for oral sex is probably like wearing a belt and suspenders (forgot what the Brits call them) but some boys and some farangs are
very careful..One or two boys I know insist on the farang wearing two condoms, which is a bad idea as they rub and cause tears, and some
don't seem to care if the farang wears a condom or not..

I would guess that HIV education is learnt mostly in the streets as many of the boys leave school at a very young age and are not aware of
HIV.. I know some boys who are still in their teens but have been positive for 5 or more years and furtive sex in the nite between horny boys
is not a latex moment for many..

I don't hear about farangs getting STD's in Pattaya and this is a good sign that condom use is high.. Crabs is another story but is not condom related..
Lots of stories of farangs seeing anal worts on the boys.. Anal worts can be a immune deficiency indicator sometimes.. Even with a condom most of
us would pass when we see worts..
Boys using yaba are probably at the highest risk as safety concerns are discarded and inhibitions loosened.. The only break in Pattaya is you don't see
needles being used and sharing needles is probably the highest risk activity of all...

I think the majority of STDs are picked up by tourists and they just take them home, so the incidence is greater than appears obvious, the tip of the iceberg as it were.

Warts can be passed just by touching, condoms don't help at all.

I recommend the banana flavoured ones. Or the lemons.

Banana: taste like acetone and color (Black) on a white man sends boys into, mood spoiling, fits of laughter.
Chocolate: Remark: "No li' bad sa-mell." (Smell like...they've already been used.)
Orange: #1 favorite.
Strawberry\Stlawbelly: #2 (Close) favorite.
Lemon: Great for increased pucker-power!


Too bad they don't flavour...Hell, steep...them in whiskey!


Khun Noi went to the neighborhood pharmacy, where she bought condoms, for a maternity bra.
"What bust?" asked the pharmacist.
"The pink ones, damn it! replied Noi.

Too bad they don't come out with a cock-flavored one. I might actually consider using them (for oral sex) then.

Too bad they don't come out with a cock-flavored one.

Cock-flavored?.... :idea:
Hotel soap?...
Or KFC?...

As there is a time lapse between picking up the virus and testing positive, I always assume the boy I'm with could have been with someone positive the day before, so condoms is a must at all times.

As there is a time lapse between picking up the virus and testing positive, I always assume the boy I'm with could have been with someone positive the day before, so condoms is a must at all times.
Again, absolutely correct! Beware of too much faith in tests. Don't let your guard down ... ever!

I know for a fact that the boys at Tawan Bar get checked out by a Dr. every 3 to 4 months. The owner provides this service at the bar during the day for the boys at his expense and they keep track of who has and hasn't seen the Dr. If a boy misses seeing the Dr. he has to show proof that he went and got checked out by a Dr. at his own expense and can't work until he's done so.

How do I know this?

My former BF works there and I remember that he consistently had to go see the Dr. for a check up every few months.

No matter what though, always be careful and have safer sex.

ajarntrade

PS: The boys in Mexico are HOT.

And what exactly did this "doctor" check for? Did he actually take blood, or just shine a flashlight into the boys asses to make sure they were free of piles?

Always assume the gun is loaded, act accordingly.

Yes, when the time comes, point it to your head, the way Smiles does and...

And what exactly did this "doctor" check for? Did he actually take blood, or just shine a flashlight into the boys asses to make sure they were free of piles?
I would do that for free!

[dave_tf-old]

Similar scenario back in the early 80's for me. They knew just enough to freak me out completely and for all time. I hope your scare did you some good too.

Just because I was negative didn't mean he was, I also realized pretty quickly. Don't know to this day if he was or not.

And what exactly did this "doctor" check for? Did he actually take blood, or just shine a flashlight into the boys asses to make sure they were free of piles?
I would do that for free!

I heard you'd do anything for free! (Same-same me.)

At what you must do for a-bag-of-burgers; The mind boggles! (Same-same me!... but, cheese burgers--With grilled onions and a Coke Li'. No fries, please. I'm dieting!)