Relationship Death by 1000 cuts

[bucknaway]

I don't think I could live in Pattaya and be in a relationship. The guy I am with would seem like last year car model in a few short weeks or months as the new guys come strolling in and looking for a guy.. looking for sex.... looking for fun.... looking for Baht.... But the guy I would be with... We have something right? We care for each other and I am sure if we are together, we trust each other?

So if I were to get a massage and say the masseuse were to ravage me.... under protest mind you.... that could not be considered cheating could it? Besides, my BF would be doing honorable things when away from me. But those bright neon bar lights are calling. Guys in ass hugging short shorts strolling about just steps away from their workplace. Ahh, those bright white shorts, hugging a perfectly sculpted rear that is only accentuated by their small waistline.... Then those honey colored legs, smooth, firm and strong.. planted into impeccably clean white tennis shoes. Oh how those Neon Lights are calling.

Maybe just a visit? I am sure my BF will hear about it (Mind you I don't have a BF, This is just my imagination talking). But I don't plan to do anything with any of the guys, maybe just tip the one guy that keeps smiling at me. Okay, I will call him down for a drink but nothing else. Aww, he is so shy as seems to be freezing as now he is crossed armed rubbing himself and shivering as we all do when cold trying to get warm. My rubbing his leg is not cheating..... Oh! That naughty mamasan placed my hand in his crotch! I can't be blamed for that! My BF would understand but lets just not tell him.

I could be back at the condo with my BF, watching a Thai Soap Opera together if we are still in the snuggling phase of things, If not, I guess we could find something else to do? I wonder what is going on in Sunee? He won't mind if I just go for a fast drink, alone.... Who could mind that?
Those Neon lights are so bright there....

I imagine on this day he does not want to go to the beach with me. So I will go alone.... Its 1:pm and now the rain is starting. Since I am not ready to go home, I will go to Sansuk. Nothing wrong with that right? There is that cute guy form the beach! He is looking this way. I don't want to get into trouble so I will just get up and take a look around... upstairs.... Wow, it is dark in this one area. Oh my! There is a hand opening my towel! Oh! They put my hand in their towel! Where are they leading me? I wish I could speak Thai so I can let them know that what they are doing will get me in trouble. Too late.... I guess I better go.

My BF is not talking to me? Why? Oh I am not going to sit here and put up with this.. The neon lights are calling me....

How could anyone stay in a relationship in sin city? It must border on agony.

[timmberty]

NURSE ... NURSE .. NURSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

[bucknaway]

NURSE ... NURSE .. NURSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEE.


You can't come right out and play your Troll Card on the first go! :8(

[attachment=0:686qgsad]troll.jpg[/attachment:686qgsad]

[joe552]

While most of us manage to keep our wank fantasies to ourselves, I'll play along.

Surely there are attractive men everywhere, so if one is inclined to stray, temptation can't be hard to find? Why then would it be any harder to maintain a monogamous relationship in Pattaya than elsewhere? Bucky, I think your OP says a lot more about you than it does about Pattaya. Just saying.

[bucknaway]

It's possible. I would find it near impossible to maintain a relationship when there is a new smiling face arriving every day who would be happy to have a fleeting encounter. Maybe it is just me, but I don't think so. Being that Thailand is so small, I don't expect anyone to come on here and admit that they can't keep their hands to off the guys when temptation is so great.

I understand that is also why so many who settle down beat feet out of Pattaya and away from all the guys who seem but all to happy to have some sex fun either because it is their job or because they just want to... Or maybe they can't turn it off their flirting after doing it for so long.

[joe552]

I don't buy that argument. In any city, there are always new faces and therefore new opportunities to stray, if you're that way inclined. I'm happy to hear from people who are actually in that situation, though.

[bucknaway]

Not every city is like Pattaya. Not every city has massage boys running up to you and trying to pull you into their place of work. Not every city has boys on the beach who playfully walk up to you, shake your hand while rubbing your hand on their crotch....

Once you visit Joe. you will see the difference.

[joe552]

My visit next week will mark 11 years of visiting Pattaya - thanks for being so patronising. My point remains the same - if you're in a committed relationship, no amount of temptation (whether from massage boys or the guy you see on the subway in NYC) will endanger that. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

[bucknaway]

And my point is, everyone is different, that is why they have rooms you can rent by the hour and that is also why they have divorce courts, but if your lucky and can stay together for a long, long time, you are applauded because that is now the exception and not the rule.

Sorry, didn't mean to patronize you. Just thought this was your first time.

Have fun!

[joe552]

how could anyone stay in a relationship in sin city? It must border on agony.

this is the part of your original post that I responded to. I simply disagree with your assessment of Pattaya and the chances of having a monogamous relationship there.

(btw apology accepted)

[Khor tose]

My visit next week will mark 11 years of visiting Pattaya - thanks for being so patronising. My point remains the same - if you're in a committed relationship, no amount of temptation (whether from massage boys or the guy you see on the subway in NYC) will endanger that. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

No Joe, you are not a dreamer. You just may not understand that some people will never understand what you are saying as they can't really feel that deeply.

[francois]

My visit next week will mark 11 years of visiting Pattaya - thanks for being so patronising. My point remains the same - if you're in a committed relationship, no amount of temptation (whether from massage boys or the guy you see on the subway in NYC) will endanger that. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

No joe, you are not the only one.

[joe552]

I'm feeling the love, guys, keep it up :love4:

[latintopxxx]

love is not sex....I've been in a relationship with my partner for 10+ years...an open relationship....best of both worlds...we hunt together...or seperately...sometimes we'll drag a good find home to share...its sex....dont get all confused.

[joe552]

so which of the posters on this thread do you think are confused, latintop?

[latintopxxx]

anyone who believes in monogamy...same goes for the whole gay marriage circus....all trying desperately to conform to some idealised stepford wives/white picket fence fantasy....cast your minds back to when u were under 30 and still try to pretend u were monogamous??? if age has slowed u down ok!!..that I can accept.

[timmberty]

i dont believe in monogamy, but i dont believe in it for me .. as for other people, why not ? just because you are a dirty old bastard latin, doesnt mean everybody else is ..
each to their own. tho why people bother to have 'boyfriends' then go shagging all over the place is beyond me.

[scottish-guy]

..just because you are a dirty old bastard latin, doesnt mean everybody else is ...

Finally, Timmy posts something I agree with!!!!

I guess that makes us "buddies" now :sign5:

[latintopxxx]

dont be common...I havent got a "boyfriend"...I got a partner....10 years now and going even stronger....and the reationship goes way beyond sex...silly people trying to act judeo christian hetero...

[joe552]

good for you, latintop. but I'm interested in why you think the term boyfriend is a no-no? I don't have an opinion one way or the other since I don't have a bf or a partner, but I wonder why one is ok and the other isn't. serious question

[latintopxxx]

boyfriend is for when u r starting off....not committed...trying before u make a decision....iof after 10 years it was still a boyfriend then I would take the title for super procastinator...in fact I find the term silly if both parties are over 30...its a teenange term...

[joe552]

fair enough, thanks

[timmberty]

so what does committed mean ? you sure are a strange on latin .. i look forward to your reply.

[Sooty]

I hate the term "partner" for "life partner" as in the world of lawyers and accountants where I work "partner" usually implies "business partner" or having the status of "partner in the firm". I find I usually have to ask "In the leg-over sense?" if I think someone is talking about their sexual relationship. It's all part of the political correctness craze that latintopxxxxxxxxxxxx so properly despises (except when he talks about his "partner").

[timmberty]

he has never as far as i can see, ever spoke about his 'partner' before ... maybe he forgot about him/her ?
sounds like an old pair of slippers you kick off, then you find them again, and realised how much you missed them.

[Sooty]

he has never as far as i can see, ever spoke about his 'partner' before ... maybe he forgot about him/her ?
sounds like an old pair of slippers you kick off, then you find them again, and realised how much you missed them.Your reaction and mine is very different. I usually think "Are they still here?" or "Fuck hasn't Mrs. Mop thrown them out yet?"

[latintopxxx]

...my intention was not to discuss my relationship here...I'm not part of the facebook gen who have to update their status every hour on the hour and post pics of their breakfast...dont believe I'm that intersting or warrant that level of media attention. Simply wanted to point out that honesty is best..all men are dogs...we all wanna fuck around...promiscuity is programmed into out genes (so blame God)...and if u stick 2 men together then the chances they will stray is tripled....love is NOt sex...sex is an important component of love but not the centre point....both of us are promiscuous sluts and enjoy life to the absolure full...or as much as we can cram in...

[timmberty]

so dispite all of your postings over the years, you do actually feel the need to fit in by having a partner to love ..
how sweet.

[martin911]

I have to agree 100% with what LP is saying
You have to be realistic ( from a realationship point if view )in.this ever larger and larger gay world we inhabit
Fast sex is available in the palms of our hands 24-7
Gay guys are naturally promiscuous , and with all the hookup sites on our phones nowadays
Throwing temptation our way - well !!!!
To answer the ops question - I have had a 2.5 and a 1 year + relationships while staying in Thailand
- and to assuage the need for "new guys " in both cases me and the bf as per LP "hunted together "
And brought home our prey to play with him/them together
And I have Never had so much fun as I did in those relationships
Going out with your bf , to clubs , restaurants , Anywhere !! And spotting a guy
Turning to your other half , " what u think , he cute ? " - the ensuing chat , and sometimes we took it further if both of us liked and etc etc
Usually the guy was gently removed from our bed 555 when finished and it was just the 2 of us again , sated
I'm not saying its every body's cup of tea but it did for us ( we only played together with a guy , not seperate as LP posted )
But hellish fun !!!!!
And as we said to each other ,it was only sex , not love !!!!

Not for everybody granted but it kept alive those relationships - which is Not easy to do in Sin city

[Beachlover]

Bucky... I think Joe's right on this. If you haven't the desire or the willpower to be monogamous in Pattaya, the same applies elsewhere. Good looking guys are available everywhere.

It just comes down to what you want and what you value. If you value love and stability, then have the willpower to follow through with that. Without willpower, you lose any possible long term gains sacrificing them to satisfying short term urges.


anyone who believes in monogamy...same goes for the whole gay marriage circus....all trying desperately to conform to some idealised stepford wives/white picket fence fantasy....cast your minds back to when u were under 30 and still try to pretend u were monogamous??? if age has slowed u down ok!!..that I can accept.
Not everyone's the same. Me, I've been there, done that. I've had that urge to fuck anything cute that moves and those were some great times. I've enjoyed screwing guys of all types I was attracted to. Finding and charming them into bed or being charmed into bed by them was an exciting process.

But I can't imagine how people can still want to do that when they're 35, 40 or 50. I reached a point where that just got boring and that combined with finding a near perfect if not perfect guy just removed all urges to keep hooking up with new guys. I know that urge to screw a new body every day as I had it before. I found it really exciting bed to guys from new and different countries and new and different environments (PLENTY of other types of Asians outside Thailand)

But I just don't have it anymore. What I do have in my relationship beats that hands down... I've gone from craving adventure and conquest to craving stability, love and lasting intimacy. All that energy now gets directed elsewhere. To things, which I think will make me happier in the long term when I get older.

I guess for some guys that transition never happens. I see some guys in relationships struggling to stay faithful. It's particularly sad when one party wants to do that and the other doesn't. Don't really know the answer in that case. For some guys, maybe they didn't screw around enough when they were younger. Some guys I know never had any desire to screw around at all, like one of my previous Thai boyfriends. All he wanted was love, intimacy and good sex with one guy. I don't know.

For me, I think if I hadn't screwed around so much, it's possible I might have the desire to screw around some more. But to be honest, these days, I look at even the most good looking guys and think, bah, I've done that variety of handsome guy before - whether it be the hunky handsome Korean guy or the cute Malaysian guy or the rugged, handsome Thai guy with the massive cock. My partner is better looking anyway. It's kind of a strange change.

[latintopxxx]

...beachy...as the saying goes.."each to his own"...my point is that many a time I come across gay couples trying to fit into an idealised relationship...like the perfect family with 2,3 kids and a white picket fence...and then 5 minutes later i find one of them cruising the public toilets!!!!...has happened so many times I've run out of fingers and toes to count .....if u really want to be monogamous and are happy with that good....if u want the buffet lifestyle also good....stressful enough being gay in a str8 world...why introduce additional stress/lies into a relationship...find a partner with a similar viewpoint.

[dab69]

easier when your partner is imaginary...

[francois]

easier when your partner is imaginary...

Write (pun) on dab69! When you are a 65 yo man as Beachy and can't get it up it pays to have an imaginary partner.