What is important to a Thai Guy (Other than Money)

[adman5000]

I would like to ask others' opinions on their experiences of what is important to a Thai guy to be attracted to a Farang after you remove MONEY/MEANS?
DRESS STYLE
FITNESS/HEALTH
CLEANLINESS/SMELL
KINDNESS TO OTHERS
RESPECT
WILLINGNESS TO ADAPT TO THAI STYLE (FOOD, LANGUAGE, FRIENDS, MUSIC, BUDDHISM, ETC)
OTHER THINGS???????????

I have always been amazed at how many Thai guys are very observant of small things we do (or don't do) and how it influences their opinion of us. What are some of your experiences on this subject? Do you think these things matter in trying to start a relationship with a Thai? :dontknow:

[timmberty]

if the things you mention are so small the what does it matter ? 100 baht or 1000 baht or a million baht . they dont care if you stink to high heaven if you have baht ... tho i had sex free last night with a cute guy .. but where was the fucker tonight >>> fucked off elsewhere ... stop sweating the small stuff and live the life ..

[Manforallseasons]

Sorry but you cannot remove money from the equation, having a farang is a career move!

[bucknaway]

I don't see Thai guys as being any different than the people I socialize with here in Delaware. They all want the same thing and have the same emotions, desires and wants. The only thing different is me and how I treat them as well as my attitude when I am out and about.

If you stink in the USA and you Stink in Thailand, chances are you will be alone a lot.

When you go to a place of business, they are there to conduct business and one should not be surprised when you go to a gogo bar and find that you are treated like a customer. You are. Sure they may pass out free samples from time to time but for the most part, it is what it is.

Now, off and away from the job, what does that flesh and blood person want most? I say they want the same thing we all want.

[adman5000]

Timmberty- Yes, by all means, live the life. I think I understand why the cute guy didn't come back.

Manforallseasons - I edited my question to just say "attracted". If there are two farangs each with equal baht, I think the Thai guys have additional factors they value in choosing who to go with.

Bucknaway - Sorry, I disagree with you. I think the Thai guys have different reactions and place more value on different things that the typical farang.

I guess my experiences have been different.

[francois]

My remarks are based on what my Thai bf has said or indicated;

He always likes me to wear nice attire; shirts with collars, long pants and shoes/sneakers although I do wear dress shorts anyway. He also appreciates someone who is well groomed and clean. Another thing that impress him are farang who are generous tippers with service personnel . And always appreciates farang who speak with him and engage him in conversation either in Thai or English. Finally he seems to like people who are well mannered at the dinner table.

[Brad the Impala]

Wit and word play, puns etc, are much appreciated.

Haa sanuk geng, good at participating in a party is popular, and not just picking up the bill.

When we were sometimes picking up guys online for threesomes, I often heard my bf on the phone stressing to a possible visitor that I was a clean person, Khon Sa-aat, as if, as farang, it was quite likely that I woudn't have been!

[ceejay]

The first thing I would say is that "Thai guys" are no more an homogenous group than "farang guys" so, your mileage may vary. First to deal with the points raised by the OP:
DRESS STYLE - not hugely important, so long as you are not dressed as a scruffy down-and-out.
FITNESS/HEALTH - Don't know. I'm a reasonably fit and reasonably healthy near 60-year old. It doesn't seem to be an issue for me.
CLEANLINESS/SMELL - yes, definitely. Thailand is a hot country and I have news for those farang who think you can get away with only showering once a day or wearing a shirt twice. You can't.
KINDNESS TO OTHERS - Yes, very definitely, and it means towards everybody. If you are rude or aggressive towards, say, a hotel employee or a waiter in a restaurant, you will go down in the estimation of every Thai in hearing distance (including your companions).
RESPECT - Same as for kindness. They're both a part of the concept of kreng jai - which is a pity in my case, because I don't understand it.
WILLINGNESS TO ADAPT TO THAI STYLE (FOOD, LANGUAGE, FRIENDS, MUSIC, BUDDHISM, ETC) - This is more for "brownie points". You are a farang, you will always be a farang, and I think most Thais will not expect you to want or like to do many of the things they want and like to do, or to behave in the way that they do. That said, I have sometimes been surprised by how pleased a Thai friend can be by really quite trivial things - like me actually liking rice soup for breakfast for instance.
On the other hand, some will see having a meal in Sizzler (or even KFC) as "aspirational" That makes me a Cheap Charlie for having rice soup for breakfast. Remember what I said about Thai guys not being an homogenous group? It's all down to the person you're with.

Something else? Something I have noticed often enough in Thais to suggest that a real difference is that many have a really strong impulse, a need if you like, to have somebody to care of. "Take care of you" is not just a bar boy euphemism for pandering to your baser needs. It really means something to many Thais.

[anonone]

Good comments from many and match my experiences as well.

Thai do take note of appearance and attach value to it. One of the things I am bewildered by is the ability of Thai of all economic levels to maintain a clean, pressed, well-put-together appearance. Sure, you might see someone pop out to a neighbor hood place in "comfort" attire to grab a take-away food, but if they are going "out", then they will put real effort into their appearance.

The whole idea of kindness / merit / respect is also a big deal. I am with ceejay...I don't understand it a lot, but I am still observant and trying to learn more with every visit. Goes along with the whole "take care" thing. I don't think it translates well into the Western experience.

For the others, yes you can keep it on a transactional level...baht for sex....but there are depths beyond that if you are willing to put forth the effort. Not saying everyone needs to do it, but just because it is not in your realm of experience does not mean it does not exist. After hanging out with bar boys in their "off" hours with their guard down a bit, you learn many things. Just saying....

[a447]

I think they appreciate it if you show an interest in, and try to understand, their culture.

Especially a little language; it goes a long way. In my case, sure, they have a bit of a laugh at my poor use of tones, but I think they appreciate that at least I'm trying.

And, of course, cleanliness.

[Zebedee]

My remarks are based on what my Thai bf has said or indicated;

He always likes me to wear nice attire; shirts with collars, long pants and shoes/sneakers although I do wear dress shorts anyway. He also appreciates someone who is well groomed and clean. Another thing that impress him are farang who are generous tippers with service personnel . And always appreciates farang who speak with him and engage him in conversation either in Thai or English. Finally he seems to like people who are well mannered at the dinner table.

Gees Francois , tell us the whole story? BTW well mannered people? Where ,can I meet the them,where are they?

[Oliver]

Respect for, and interest in, Buddhist culture is important for any relationship that is more than commercial and transitory.

[francois]

Gees Francois , tell us the whole story? BTW well mannered people? Where ,can I meet the them,where are they?

Yes, hard to believe but some farang lack manners. At the restaurant I saw one farang blow his nose on the table napkin and then inspect the contents. Gauche!

[latintopxxx]

what a load of crap....a classy as in rich Thai guy will not be seen dead with a white guy.....because it means he's a whore.....so the only Thai guys we get to associate with are the poor.....we could be covered in fresh shit...and they would still absolutely love us as long as we have cash.....get real.....

[Brad the Impala]

we could be covered in fresh shit...and they would still absolutely love us as long as we have cash.

They might fuck you, which is probably all you want, but that doesn't mean that they like you, let alone love you!

I remember a pompous Belgian tourist telling me how marvellous his regular guy was as he always slept on the floor, so that the Belgian could have more space in the bed. Separately the guy told me that he slept on the floor because the Belgian smelt too bad to share the bed with him.

[latintopxxx]

brad...so u prove my point...may stink to high heaven...but for the cash no problem....

[Brad the Impala]

Latin, I think that you're so keen to jump on your hobby horse, that you've ignored the title of this thread.

[latintopxxx]

Brad...simply a different viewpoint...all depends in which circles you circulate...most of us on holiday in the gogo boy dominated venues/areas will only get to meet thais in it for the money...if you live in Thailand and are lucky enough to meet someone non commercial then some of the rules might apply, but i think that based on what I've seen during my many (short) trips to the fleshpots of Thailand is not encouraging....usually the age gao is at least 40 years and clearly money is the sole driver.
In europe I've come across a few thai/european couples and even there the Euro guy shipped the Thai over and contributes the bulk of the cash....I'm yet to see a true equal relationship...Thai always seems to be on the take...but then again its most probably due to the circles i mix in as there is great wealth in Thailand.

[Doug]

Some very good points posted here...some less well thought out.

To the Thai guys I associate with, their friends are very very important in their lives...for some more so than family. Friends are their support group. If a farang tries to include the boy's friends in the fun and largest then the boy's estimation of the farang will go up.

[adman5000]

As I read through this post, I am glad to see some nuggets from other's experiences that remind me that it is always rewarding in my mind to try to learn more about Thai ways. I do not always understand, sometimes it will then drive me crazy, but other things I learn to appreciate.
Even though the relationship is commercial, I always try to demonstrate emphathy. How would I view things if the roles were reversed? There are many things I will never understand about their cultural viewpoints. But I think my trips are more enjoyable when I try to learn a little bit about their view of things. :glasses7:

[cdnmatt]

I hear they love it when you pull on the bottom of their ears, and yell, "cock-a-doodle-doo!".

[SmoothLegs]

not sure if anybody here answered the question already.
Did Not bother to read all replies,

What is important to a Thai Guy (Other than Money)

HONESTY :withstupid:

[gregvc]

Adman, the Thai-farang relationships ARE there, but if you are looking in Pattaya you won't see them. Try embassy parties, fashion launches and sometimes soi 2 silom. The whole gay scene in Thailand has changed in the last decade. The commercial side has diminished when compared to the middle class venues where Thais meet Thais. With time and a good attitude a farang can be part of it.
If you hang around the Pattaya money boy scene then that is what you get.

[adman5000]

Thank you for the information/opinion Gregvc.

I am only an occasional visitor to Pattaya as I can only take it in small doses. I normally spend most of my time in BKK and other lesser-known locations. My question was more of a general question rather than how can I initiate a relationship with a Thai.
You mention the need for a good attitude. Can you please elaborate on what you think demonstrates a "good" attitude for a Farang?

[Nirish guy]

As has already been mentioned perhaps taking care of the Thai persons "face" in front of their friends and other people always must always come high on the list and as part of that then always ensuring that you look clean and tidy and well presented and dare I say it affulent perhaps all goes a long way to making a Thai guy you might care about happy to be seen out with you I've found.

I recall once being both complimented on having a large selction of footware with me in my suit case ( hell as a gay man what did he expect ! :-) but also then being almost insantly told off for not actually bothering to wearing nice enough shoes that night as we were going out. To me we were just slumming in to a local bar but to my Thai friend I clearly should have tried harder to impress and to enhanced HIS reputation as someone who only went out with stylish guys - needless to say on that particular occassion I certainly didn't return to change my footware but I did take quiet heed of his not so gentle hint from there on in when in his company which I know he appreciated as he told he many times there after how I looked "better tonight" :).

[timmberty]

from reading the above i am trying to work out what equals class ?
to be told by a renter, that you dont look so good tonight, and my friends ( fellow renters ) will think i have lost face !
i almost forgot to add a welcome back the board has missed your smiley faces and lol's since you went away.

[latintopxxx]

renter???...is that code for gogo boy...whore...money boy..??

[martin911]

LP - It's a pretty perfect word tho !! - whether the contract is for a daily rate (or lower ) lol
Up to a " extended lease etc " example for those of us who have /( or had oops ) Thai bfs

We are all renters no matter what way you look at it :happy7:

[Nirish guy]

The above automatically presumes of course that my friend was a "renter" as it was so nicely put and that was not the case as believe it or not there are actually some lovely guys in Bangkok and also I'm guessing EVEN in Pattaya ! who are not money boys who hold down hard working job and to whom "face" amongst their friends and their peers is of course very important and that is to what I was referring in this case.

I would also add that even if the person I was with had of been a money boy that, to me anyway, would not imply that it would be acceptable that I should treat them with any less respect or thoughtfulness than any other person I'm with simply because of their job as a person is a person first and they shouldn't be defined by their job.

Just as I wouldn't disrespect a Council bin man or drain cleaner any more than a top Government office worker I wouldn't intentionally have less consideration for a person I'm out with of an evening just because they happened to be a money boy, that in my eyes doesn't make them a bad or a lesser person to me or mean they have any less feelings or ability to be hurt by a loss of face than anyone else when in front of their particular group of friends - money boy or not and were I to do so would I think say more about me than them.

To me thats just showing basic consideration and respect for others - no matter what the particular chosen or financially required job they happen to have in life is.

[scottish-guy]

... We are all renters no matter what way you look at it...



Nooooooooooooooooo....Don't say it ........... :crybaby:

It's love I tell you, love ..... and as for the lost/stolen jewellery, iphone5, macbook air, and ipad with retina display..... he's just a careless boy who has terribly bad luck.

And before you say it - it's not all one way either.
Why, just yesterday completely out of the blue he bought me one of those lovely 130B silk shirts you see on the outdoor rails in Walking Street! He used his own money too - never asked for a single Baht.
In fact he was so eager to give me my new shirt he ran straight out of the shop - without even waiting for it to be wrapped.
After only a couple of minutes the shop owner also ran out the shop - I think he must be on an excercise kick - he looked very old but obviously fit for his age - because he was waving an enormous machete and screaming his lungs out.
My BF grabbed my wrist, said it was a Buddhist thing and we should help the old man with his exercise by letting him chase us the length of Walking Street - which we did.

Once we had reached the lobby of our new apartment block I was completely out of breath and I felt my heart was about to burst so my BF told me to inhale the vapours from a small brown bottle of medicine he had been carrying in his pocket just in case this ever happened. "It help you" he said "I buy special for you". I guess it must have been imported because it said "Nitro" on the bottle.
However it seemed to make matters worse, my heart was pounding and everything was woozy. I thought I was going to pass out and I had to ask him to stop ramming the bottle against my nostril and holding my head down on to it. "It good for you...good for you...smell more!" he kept insisting
Thankfully the elevator arrived as I couldn't have climbed all those stairs in that state - just last week we moved from the ground floor to the 19th at my BF's suggestion, he said the view would soothe me and he is forever encouraging me to come out on to the balcony to see it.

That night, alone in bed (my BF shares the other room with his sister who has recently moved in to help look after me - my God they have such a close relationship) I thought about the shop owner and just how like my BF it was to think about the wellbeing of a man like that shop-keeper he had only just met 2 minutes ago - he's so thoughful and affectionate.

I know in my heart how lucky I am.
And you dare to talk about "Renters"?
You're all just jealous and nasty and vile and horrible!!

:crybaby:

[joe552]

:sign5: good to see old friends back on the board

[a447]

I haven't got a clue who you are talking about, SG. Hilarious!

Welcome back to you both.

[scottish-guy]

I'm just poking a little fun at whole "BF" thing.

I don't know anybody who could run the length of Walking Street - certainly not me anyway!!

:hello2:

[Nirish guy]

? ah Thank you I guess A447 - but like a quote made by a Government minister here in Northern Ireland about a well known terrorist organisation here ' I hadn't gone away you know" but simply chose not to post here whilst the board was under it's old ownership, but I have no wish to dwell on that and suggest we all move on now as that situation has now rectified itself and the board has a new owner who deserves a clean start and a fair chance at making their new purchase work for him ( and the rest of us too I guess).

[joe552]

I don't know anybody who could run the length of Walking Street - certainly not me anyway!!

and certainly not in those stilettos :occasion9:

[scottish-guy]

Hopefully the 2 newbies - NIrish and myself - will soon be out of pre-moderation and Joe's comments will be able to appear in chronological order in future!

(fixed it 4u-jinks xxxx)

:party

[adman5000]

And hopefully the "newbies" can learn/remember to use PM or email for private discussions others don't care about, rather than hijacking a thread and going on about stuff totally off topic. Please if you have something relevant to say about the topic- feel free. But if you don't, please use another mechanism for your back-and-forths or start another topic for your adventures. thank you. :duel:

[joe552]

adman, congratulations on your appointment as Moderator - sorry I must have missed the official announcement. :notworthy:

[scottish-guy]

I can understand that adman doesn't want his topic de-railed - but can I respectfully point out it was de-railed before the end of Page 1 and long before I contributed my little opus.

[timmberty]

nirishguy .... i have read beachlovers old posts .. he started same all rent boys in gogo bars or the beer bars of bangkok ... now look at him
to save yourself the bother of all the mighty long replies why not just send us some links to his old bullshite . it be a lot quicker.
when you get to the bits about getting ready to marry a multi billionaire bf you can start again ...
the 3 amigos ride again ... was the gaythailand board really so much fun you just had to return ... or was all the pretence of trying to be nice and friendly just to hard ?

[Nirish guy]

Likewise adman whilst I respect your request to stay on topic as pointed out above the topic did drift several times before your messages from "oldies" it seems and aside from one of my posts where I was simply replying to say thank you for a welcome ( from an oldie going off topic it seems) my other two posts where ABSOLUTELY on topic so whilst I agree with your sentiment you were a little harsh perhaps, but anyway, lets move on- and as you say all on topic FOR EVERYONE then preferably it seems.

* Edit - I rest my case re the above from timmberty and others re remaining on topic and not flaming etc and I certainly make no apologies for choosing to treat Thai guys I met with respect, no matter who they are, to me that's not a strange concept nor one which would normally need justification ? And re the rest of your flame timmberty please see my above "thank you" post, especially the moving on part therein, so can I suggest you try it too as it's all getting a bit old now, that's all I'm going to say on the subject.

[joe552]

To contribute an ON TOPIC response:

During my first visit to Pattaya I met a really lovely go go boy. On a subsequent trip he invited me to go up to Sisaket to meet his family. While his "uncle" drove us around for 3 or 4 days I was of course happy to pay for petrol, food, etc for the extended family. Just before we left for Pattaya, I bought his father a motorcycle. I still consider it money well spent for the holiday of a lifetime. I don't know what he told his family about our "relationship" but I don't begrudge a single satang. Did he earn a lot of "face" or respect from his family? I don't really know, but I expect they were pleased. I don't pretend to understand all of this "face" thing, but I get the fact that I should be respectful, entertaining, liberal with cash as required without being a walkover, and just generally treat people the way I want to be treated.

The "Thai" way may confuse us foreigners, but honestly I'd behave the same in whatever country I was in - good manners, respect, generosity, fun to be with - all winning attributes wherever one is.

[timmberty]

i agree joe but being treated as you would like !!! have many people paid for you to have a moto ??
in all honesty if these people had money in the first place a lot of them wouldnt even look at you let along get into your bed ..
a loved up gogo boy ... hah thats rather funny

[Mancs]

It seems important to many Isaan men to try to be more white. More than one has turned up to meet me with a face thick with whitening powder. It seems sad because they look great without it to me. But we farang spend money and time on getting brown.

[joe552]

timmberrty - we each contribute to a "relationship" - whether that's a long term thing or just a "renter" to use your very apt description. I bring cash to the table (or the bed) he brings enjoyment - in some cases, like the one I described, what he brought to the transaction was much more valuable to me than the cash I paid out. I'm under no illusions that he loved me, but I do know he cared about me to a degree. Subsequent trips when we'd stopped sleeping together bore that out.

While I'm not the blind romantic who fell in love with a bar boy on my first trip to Thailand, I'm glad I'm not the complete cynic you portray yourself to be.

[scottish-guy]

There seems to be a common misconception on here that "the boys" will shag anybody as long as the price is paid - and it simply is not true.

It's true that the age or looks of the prospective punter is not a deal-breaker - but I have seen boys steer clear of certain guys or (more rarely) downright refuse to take them on. This is generally because they are known to treat the boys badly in one way or another (not necessarily financially).

So, my ON TOPIC contribution is more or less the same as has been said by others - it's important that the boys are treated with civility and respect.

Now to this (apologies to adman):


.....the 3 amigos ride again ... was the gaythailand board really so much fun you just had to return ... or was all the pretence of trying to be nice and friendly just to hard ?

I was just waiting for the SGT toilet to be flushed, my dear.

[francois]

adman, congratulations on your appointment as Moderator - sorry I must have missed the official announcement. :notworthy:

No one appointed adman as moderator but he did start a proper topic and deserves some respectful answers not a lot of clowning among the three amigos .

[adman5000]

I appreciate the return to good comments and stories. I will now reinstate you all (just joking) and step out of my self-appointed roll as moderator.

Yes, I also must admit the "face thing" sometimes blindsides me as the negative reaction to my misstep is subtle or shows up in unrelated ways. I try to be aware of it, but sometimes I just have to say "I am not Thai - I think differently" although my exact words are more like "F*** it".

But sometimes I do the right thing by accident. I once visited a favorite bar in BKK and a favorite guy that I offed regularly came over to see me. Now I have known this guy at several different jobs before he became gogo. He wanted me to meet his friend and asked in my ear if I could off his friend in lieu of him as it was the friend's first night working at the bar. As the new guy came closer, I was relieved to see that it would not be a problem. His hair was perfectly coiffed, he was as handsome as any guy in the bar, and best of all he obviously spent a lot of time in the gym and was giving a look that he was eager to please. Now my first reaction was that my regular guy must have other plans that night, but as I thought about it, it was a face thing. Helping his friend bought him face. As someone else said, some of their friends are closer than family. Also, my friend was very happy that I quickly agreed to his request and offed his friend.

So on my next trip, I want to find a way to include their friends, not in a kinky way of course. :glasses7:

[loke]

What is important to a Thai guy except money ?

If you are talking about a relationship between a young thai boy and an old westerner , it will be the same relationship as you would expect in the west between a white younger boy and an older man .

You have absolutely nothing in common , you will have different interests etc.
However you can live together and experience things together that both of you will enjoy. The boy are happy if you dress properly and are clean as most guys.

But most of the time the money decides how long the "relationship" will carry on .

[Mancs]

Is it important to Thai guys that we wai older members of their family? It seemed to go down well when I did, even though I usually stick to the advice of 'never' doing a wai and just smile and nod in response to one. It is often said that farang can never wai correctly. But occasionally attempting it may be the best thing to do?

[adman5000]

If you are talking about a relationship between a young thai boy and an old westerner , it will be the same relationship as you would expect in the west between a white younger boy and an older man .

My personal experience is different so I disagree. For discussion purposes I will use generous measures and assume the age difference is more than 25 years. I disagree because I think the concept of patronage has a stronger importance in Thailand than it does in the West. My experience is that there is a stronger cultural value of obligation on the part of the Thai guy that I would ever find in the West. I am not saying this is 100% true across all Thai guys, but I think it has a much stronger incidence than in the West. I can imagine having the situation of being the financial provider and have the Thai guy exhibit the "take care" side of the relationship. Someone mentioned the "take care" observation previously. I have personally seen this but I do not know how common it is. Has anyone else seen this?


You have absolutely nothing in common , you will have different interests etc.
Again, I disagree. I have been with much younger Thai guys and had some things in common. So "absolutely nothing" is an over statement. For example, I like music, they like music. I like karaoke, so do they, I like movies, they liked movies. I like all kinds of food, they liked many different food. I like the beach, they like the beach. I like to travel, they like to travel and have done so with me. I care about family, they care about their family. I try to treat others fairly, they value that. I do not drink, many of my close friends drink very little or not at all. I try to help those less fortunate, regardless of how much money they have they try to do the same. So I never assume we have nothing in common and choose to focus on things we do have in common. Yes there certainly are going to be big differences, but there also can be a lot of common interests.

[Smiles]

Is it important to Thai guys that we wai older members of their family? It seemed to go down well when I did, even though I usually stick to the advice of 'never' doing a wai and just smile and nod in response to one. It is often said that farang can never wai correctly. But occasionally attempting it may be the best thing to do?
If you are going to use a 'wai' then meeting-the-parents-or-elders is the best time to do so.
But don't over-do it: 'wai' upon first meeting, or all meetings if there is a reasonably long time between visits. Also when leaving if you want.
You got it right in general though. Most of the time, leave the wai-ing to the Thais. Nodding and smiling is the best idea in circumstances where you're not sure.

[timmberty]

im more than happy to be a cynic and wait to be proved wrong joe ... when i was 18/19 and some fat old porker came upto me and offered me 20 quid for a fumble he would get a punch on the nose!!
what you you say if a 70yr old asked you tonight for a quick rummage thru your drawers ?? i dont think your request for equal respect would be in order would it.
mention money and for me it becomes business and not a relationship/love.
we provide they give/ we give we provide .... same as any other business... sure they may care in the end ... but it will still cost you dinner or a few beers to get the care.

[latintopxxx]

....sometimes I think I'm trapped in a nightmare...all this nonsense about respect and love...get real...we are talking about prostitutes.....who will go with anybody...and I mean anybody...as long as the money is there....I show minimal respect...get what I want..when I want out of the business transaction...and the very next day when I walk into the same bar the same bottom boy will trot up ready for another go...if you want love...dont look for it in gogo or host bars...

[Rush, Yet Again]

....sometimes I think I'm trapped in a nightmare
True dat.
I have no doubt that you are.

[a447]

The other day, Latin gave me this "advice"


Try being nice...you'll be amazed at the positive feedback

But today, he posts this:


all this nonsense about respect....I show minimal respect....

WTF??

[scottish-guy]

I think I may have the answer a447:

When Latintopxxx is giving you advice on how to behave - he is in a calm, collected, and clear-headed state of mind.

When he's on his "riding the boy like a pony", "show minimal respect", "throw the whore's money on the floor" kick - he is masturbating.

:jerk:

[lonelywombat]

a447 you are back here yet still cannot understand what people are trying to tell you..We do not care about your feud with latintopxxx

We hate the idea that you come back and want to start again.

It was good without you. How many times do you need to take the hint.

Use Pm's and let this become a board,without your bitching

[Nirish guy]

and let this become a board,without your bitching


Ahem - can we make that without ANY bitching perhaps or is that too much to expect ??

And I think adman has already requested on this thread itself that it remains on topic which if it did would of course cut out a lot of the above anyway perhaps.

And yes lonely you're spot on there about perhaps sending a PM ( or just ignoring) a poster that you might have a problem IS probably the best thing to do so we all don't have to read negative depressing stuff - definitely good advice there to follow.

[scottish-guy]

Just to keep the PBB boys busy - I agree with NIrish!

I agree with him not only in general terms but in that it's completely unfair to single out a447 - other members managed to bitch at each other perfectly well whilst he was unfairly banished, and would do so again if he never posted another word.

And just to keep my post spuriously on-topic, it's important to Thai Guys that we don't bitch at them either.

[latintopxxx]

...a447...i simply dont believe in fake relationships....if u r looking for a friend then host/gogo/commercial boys r the wrong place....i rent one for sex...nothing more...and frankly speaking i believe that they r relieved that there is no pretense....no fake smiles...just them providing a service ...i pay...he delivers...i dont even have to say please...or consider their needs...for a short space of time only my needs matter..i already have a partner...not looking for a relationship.
If you manage to form a relationship with a non-commercial Thai then normal rules apply....but i suspect that the vast majority of posters...like 99% ....are into short term..or holiday romances...
But then...i suspect I'm wasting my time ...as no doubt a447...has already made up his mind....

[a447]

.i simply dont believe in fake relationships

Actually, nor do I. So we are in agreement here.

And yes, I am also just interested in short time relationships, as I am a sex tourist. So we are in agreement here, too.

But I've always said here that it is all a game and the boys are just playing a role. I am under no illusions that a rent boy would fall in love with me. And although I am not looking for a "friend", I am definitely looking for someone who is "friendly." There's quite a difference. And I imagine the boy would be looking for exactly the same.

But you are missing the point. Just because they are prostitutes who are play acting in order to carry out their (onerous) job doesn't mean you have to be in any way disrespectful. Afterall, they are just guys like us doing their job and should be respected for WHO they are, not WHAT they are. Isn't that "the face thing" that adman5000 wrote about?

And if you look down on a guy because he's a prostitute, what does that say about you, as a client??

Oh, and thanks SG for pointing out the obvious. Shame lonelywombat can't see it.

So here's another thing the Thai boys like - being treated with fairness.

[loke]

If you are talking about a relationship between a young thai boy and an old westerner , it will be the same relationship as you would expect in the west between a white younger boy and an older man .

My personal experience is different so I disagree. For discussion purposes I will use generous measures and assume the age difference is more than 25 years. I disagree because I think the concept of patronage has a stronger importance in Thailand than it does in the West. My experience is that there is a stronger cultural value of obligation on the part of the Thai guy that I would ever find in the West. I am not saying this is 100% true across all Thai guys, but I think it has a much stronger incidence than in the West. I can imagine having the situation of being the financial provider and have the Thai guy exhibit the "take care" side of the relationship. Someone mentioned the "take care" observation previously. I have personally seen this but I do not know how common it is. Has anyone else seen this?


You have absolutely nothing in common , you will have different interests etc.
Again, I disagree. I have been with much younger Thai guys and had some things in common. So "absolutely nothing" is an over statement. For example, I like music, they like music. I like karaoke, so do they, I like movies, they liked movies. I like all kinds of food, they liked many different food. I like the beach, they like the beach. I like to travel, they like to travel and have done so with me. I care about family, they care about their family. I try to treat others fairly, they value that. I do not drink, many of my close friends drink very little or not at all. I try to help those less fortunate, regardless of how much money they have they try to do the same. So I never assume we have nothing in common and choose to focus on things we do have in common. Yes there certainly are going to be big differences, but there also can be a lot of common interests.


Yes I partly agree with you that some interests are the same , but if you combine the cultural differences and the age difference , it is very difficult to feel you are living in a genuine relationship that is going to last .

Some relationships been going on for 10-20 years but I think they are hard to find.

But ask yourself this question:
If you suddenly ran out of money would the boy still be interested in you ? Would the boy support you and even pay for your meals ?


-

[a447]

But ask yourself this question:
If you suddenly ran out of money would the boy still be interested in you ? Would the boy support you and even pay for your meals ?

Or, just as important, were you interested in having sex with an unfit guy old enough to be your grandfather when you were young?

You weren't?

Did you have sex with them?

You didn't?

How come?

[adman5000]

Loke - When I started this thread, I bolded the word "attracted". I did not say anything about a relationship or the length of the relationship. It could be anywhere from minutes to years. So while I agree with you about a "long term relationship", I do not agree in terms of attraction. Attraction can still involve a short time get-together.

For example if a boy sees or knows two customers, both the same age (older than him), both who are willing to off him, what does he consider if he could choose who he prefers to be with?

My main point is that from my experience, demonstrating some of the things that may be important to a Thai guy that others have mentioned here, matters. Some things make you a preferred acquaintance, and some things make you a customer that he may prefer not to go with. (but he still may if his need for money trumps everything else.) I propose that treating a Thai guy with fairness and respect is important to him and you will get a bit more friendliness and appreciation from many Thai guys. I think you will also receive some fringe benefits in how they interact with you that personally, I value.

Everyone seems incapable of separating money from their views. Maybe all of us do. But even if you introduce the concept of money, I still believe there is a stronger cultural value I would call "respect for patronage" than you would ever find in the West. I think it is a concept most of us have to think about or do not always consider, but I maintain that it exists in Thailand.

So Loke, I understand you comments and perhaps my clarifications above will help you understand mine. :glasses7:

A447 - I really can't respond to your comments because I don't understand what the F*** you are saying mate. If I had the attitude you describe, I would stay home and not go to Thailand! :dontknow:

[Beachlover]

I have always been amazed at how many Thai guys are very observant of small things we do (or don't do) and how it influences their opinion of us.
I agree with this... and I've found that one of the nuances of their culture is they're less likely to tell you about these things or give you any honest feedback until later on.

Some of the things that can be significant to a Thai guy are how you treat your parents, how you treat and get to know their friends, good grooming and how you keep your home, kitchen and bathroom. Bringing them home to a messy kitchen, dirty bathroom and messy bedroom/living room can be a major turn off.

Going by what I hear from Thai friends, I'm amazed how many guys just don't realise this basic stuff... I'm talking about both white guys and other Asian nationalities. A lot of my Thai friends are particularly wary of Chinese and Korean guys, saying they're very messy and inconsiderate at home!

[Beachlover]

Sorry but you cannot remove money from the equation, having a farang is a career move!
Complete load of crap... Only true if you're trying to attract guys with no integrity who seek to gain financial advantage from a relationship with you. Don't be surprised if the relationship isn't successful or if you get screwed over as people like this obviously have no principles or ethical conscience.

On the other hand, if you attract a Thai guy with integrity and self respect who is self-sufficient and financially sound, then money won't matter for squat - It's your character, which matters most.


what a load of crap....a classy as in rich Thai guy will not be seen dead with a white guy.....because it means he's a whore.....so the only Thai guys we get to associate with are the poor.....we could be covered in fresh shit...and they would still absolutely love us as long as we have cash.....get real.....
Again... that's a complete load of crap. I know plenty of white guys in relationships with Thai guys who are relatively wealthy or from wealthy families.


I'm yet to see a true equal relationship...Thai always seems to be on the take...but then again its most probably due to the circles i mix in as there is great wealth in Thailand.
One thing I've noticed is that the Thais who have integrity and no intention to gain financial advantage from their partners tend to look down on the other Thais who look for guys to leech off.

They know that Thais have a reputation for doing that and are keen to differentiate themselves from that stigma.


We are all renters no matter what way you look at it :happy7:
Geez... More of this s**t. You may choose to go down the paid whore path but that doesn't mean the rest of foreigners who have relations with Thai guys do that. Neither does it mean that all Thai guys are looking to be paid or supported either!


.if u r looking for a friend then host/gogo/commercial boys r the wrong place....
This I do agree with...


If you hang around the Pattaya money boy scene then that is what you get.
Yep... So true and obviously visible from some of the posts in this thread.

[Nirish guy]

Some of the things that can be significant to a Thai guy are .......how you keep your home, kitchen and bathroom. Bringing them home to a messy kitchen, dirty bathroom and messy bedroom/living room can be a major turn off.

To be fair I don't think that one applies only to Thai guys as most gay guys I know would turn up their noses if they walked into your house and it was a tip. If there were dishes in the sink and crap lying about everywhere I think most of us get that in life that would make others judge us poorly.

[a447]

Adman5000 wrote:
A447 - I really can't respond to your comments because I don't understand what the F*** you are saying mate.

The point I was trying to make is that young Thai guys expect money for their services, as they don't really want to associate with much older, unfit guys. Just like we didn't when we were young.

But I am not denying that relationships can form between the young fit guy and the unfit old farang - a relationship which does not involve money. Some guys here have stated exactly that and I have no reason to doubt them.

Half their luck!

[Beachlover]

To be fair I don't think that one applies only to Thai guys as most gay guys I know would turn up their noses if they walked into your house and it was a tip. If there were dishes in the sink and crap lying about everywhere I think most of us get that in life that would make others judge us poorly.
Yes, I do agree with that...


But I am not denying that relationships can form between the young fit guy and the unfit old farang - a relationship which does not involve money. Some guys here have stated exactly that and I have no reason to doubt them.
Yes, that's true... But then why do you contradict yourself with the comment below?


The point I was trying to make is that young Thai guys expect money for their services, as they don't really want to associate with much older, unfit guys. Just like we didn't when we were young.
It's really insulting to refer to "young Thai guys" that way... Most "young Thai guys" I know would never accept or except money from someone they had sex with, nor would they have sex with someone they're not genuinely attracted to.

I know there are plenty of exceptions and maybe those are the guys you spend your time with but that doesn't mean the entire country is like that.

[timmberty]

beachy i agree with that but i disagree with that .. tho i quiet agree with that .. but you need to think again if you really agree about that. but thanks for your imput, im sure we all agree with that.

[a447]

Beachlover wrote:
why do you contradict yourself

I didn't. I was pointing out what I thought was the norm, nut recognising that there are some exceptions.


Most "young Thai guys" I know would never accept or except money from someone they had sex with, nor would they have sex with someone they're not genuinely attracted to.

I'm not talking about the guys you know.

I'm talking about the guys I know - guys who sell their arses in gogo bars.

I was not making a generalised statement about all the guys in Thailand!

[Brad the Impala]

I'm not talking about the guys you know.
I'm talking about the guys I know - guys who sell their arses in gogo bars.
I was not making a generalised statement about all the guys in Thailand!

Then you should have made it clear that you were only referring to a small proportion of the thai male population when you wrote:



The point I was trying to make is that young Thai guys expect money for their services, as they don't really want to associate with much older, unfit guy


If you were only referring to "guys who sell their arses in gogo bars", then it is self evident that they expect payment, so there doesn't seem to be a point to your statement.

[Beachlover]

Ah, that's fair enough then, A447.

Brad is right though... you should make it clearer that you don't mean that.

[a447]

Yeah, I guess I should have made it clearer.

But I only ever write about the guys I meet, not the ones others meet.

I'm a sex tourist and only ever meet bar boys. So they are the only ones I can write about.

If I were living in LOS I'd maybe go looking for someone away from the bar scene. I don't know.

But point taken.

[cdnmatt]

Depends on the socio-economic standing of the person we're talking about. For example, I think the average middle class Thai is far more Westernized than many here believe Thais to be. For them, they want the same as anyone in the West. A partner to love and be loved back by, while they work hard at their dreams, and enjoy this journey called life together. There's definitely some cultural differences involved, but nothing that can't be overcome.

On the flip side, you have the poorer Thais who end up in the go-go bars, and many people mistake their demeanor and actions as "Thai culture", which is utterly false. In reality, it's the actions of someone who grew up in a campground / village, with little to no supervision, rules, or responsibilities. Please don't mistake that as "that's just how the Thais do things, it's in their culture", because it just ain't true.

[timmberty]

Depends on the socio-economic standing of the person we're talking about. For example, I think the average middle class Thai is far more Westernized than many here believe Thais to be. For them, they want the same as anyone in the West. A partner to love and be loved back by, while they work hard at their dreams, and enjoy this journey called life together. There's definitely some cultural differences involved, but nothing that can't be overcome.

On the flip side, you have the poorer Thais who end up in the go-go bars, and many people mistake their demeanor and actions as "Thai culture", which is utterly false. In reality, it's the actions of someone who grew up in a campground / village, with little to no supervision, rules, or responsibilities. Please don't mistake that as "that's just how the Thais do things, it's in their culture", because it just ain't true.
matt having read this post .. assuming you meant to post under this name .. do you think it could be why the relationship you had with the boy from a go go bar, didnt last ?

[Brad the Impala]

matt having read this post .. assuming you meant to post under this name ..

I thought that you were just complaining about someone suggesting that you were posting under more than one name, without being able to substantiate it. So I think that you should back this comment up or back down.

[cdnmatt]

do you think it could be why the relationship you had with the boy from a go go bar, didnt last ?

Yes, and I've learned my lesson, the hard way. There's unfortunately a valid reason why Thai people in general have contempt for the poor, unlike the West where every human is expected to be treated with the same level of common respect.


matt having read this post .. assuming you meant to post under this name

Ummm, excuse me? I think Brad is right. Considering you're the one running around screaming about being accused of having multiple handles, you should really provide some proof to back up that accusation. I would love to hear it. Unlike some around these parts of the internet, I don't have a multiple personality disorder, so one handle is just fine for me.

[adman5000]

Cdnmatt said Depends on the socio-economic standing of the person we're talking about

Cdnmatt, I agree but what % of the SGT readers do you think interact relationship-wise with a Thai middle class guy? I would imagine it is in the very low single digit percent.


Cdnmatt said -On the flip side, you have the poorer Thais who end up in the go-go bars, and many people mistake their demeanor and actions as "Thai culture", which is utterly false. In reality, it's the actions of someone who grew up in a campground / village, with little to no supervision, rules, or responsibilities. Please don't mistake that as "that's just how the Thais do things, it's in their culture", because it just ain't true.
Approximately 10% of the population lives in Bangkok and Bangkok generates approximately 50% of the countries GDP . The Nations Encyclopedia also says Thailand continues to suffer from unequal income distribution with the richest 30 percent accounting for some 80 percent of the aggregate national income while the other 70 percent account for roughly 20 percent of the aggregate national income. So which group do you think most represents the Thai culture that SGT readers see and interract with - the somewhat westernized top 10-30% or the less westernized 70-90%?

My point is that I think what most SGT readers see and have commented on, is the majority representation of Thai culture.

Read more: http://www.nationsencyclopedia.com/econ ... z2TJbJVmWo (http://www.nationsencyclopedia.com/economies/Asia-and-the-Pacific/Thailand-POVERTY-AND-WEALTH.html#ixzz2TJbJVmWo)

[Beachlover]

Adman... What you're saying is right. The issue I see is that people are just completely unaware that this 10-30% that you're talking about exists. They spend all their time with the other 70% (actually a lot of the time it sounds like the bottom 20%) and assume that's all there is.

When you think about it, it's pretty stupid that people spend all their time with the segment of the population, which they are LEAST likely to be compatible with rather than attempting to get to know the type of Thais who ARE going to be a cultural, lifestyle and values fit.

That's why you get all these ridiculous stories about misunderstandings, problems, not liking their same food, not wanting to hang out in the same sort of places, being expected to pay for everything, the family holding their hand out for money and other utterly ridiculous stuff.

If you get the basics right and choose a partner who is compatible, you get to have a pretty nice life... sharing a bottle of wine over dinner, having a drink in a quiet cocktail bar, breakfast in a cafe each morning, unwinding in a nice beach resort every couple of months, visiting interesting parts of the world together, checking out the coolest nightclubs in each city...

It's the logical thing to do... But NO... Lots of people come to Thailand, hit the prostitute bars, get all overwhelmed by how exotic it all is and how everyone wants to have sex with them and ignore normal rationality.

[Beachlover]

I'm a sex tourist and only ever meet bar boys. So they are the only ones I can write about.

If I were living in LOS I'd maybe go looking for someone away from the bar scene. I don't know.
Well, you don't have to live in LOS to do that. If paid sex and certainty is what you want then by all means go with that... But if you're not feeling fulfilled and want something more genuine then try stepping out of that scene.

I was only ever a regular visitor. Never lived there for any more than a month and I still managed to meet lots of guys, had a lot of hook ups and "fun"... they were good times.

I also made a lot of friends and even had a long distance relationship with a Thai guy.

I'm talking about the normal gay scene in Thailand, not the commercial sex or moneyboy scene. Just normal, intelligent middle class guys. No asking for money. No expecting you to pay for everything. No sob stories about not being able to pay the rent. No lazing around without working or studying. No ulterior motives or suspicions.

Just a natural, genuine, unpredictable and unmanufactured encounters where two people like each other and the excitement of not knowing if you'll score tonight.

Plenty of gay guys go to Thailand each year and hook up or fall in love outside the paid sex scene. What's funny is I also see a lot of Thai expats who go back home for a holiday and then fall in love with another Thai guy... sometimes they bring them here, sometimes they fall in love with another Thai expat who's living elsewhere in the world and have to decide where they'll live together. This is the stuff makes the world go round!

[Beachlover]

I think the average middle class Thai is far more Westernized than many here believe Thais to be. For them, they want the same as anyone in the West. A partner to love and be loved back by, while they work hard at their dreams, and enjoy this journey called life together. There's definitely some cultural differences involved, but nothing that can't be overcome.
Yep! Totally true... Really, from what I see, all they care is that their partner has a steady income, is happy and isn't going to be a burden. And that's all I was looking for in terms of what my partner does too. Couldn't care less if he's a hotel porter or a lawyer, long as he's happy and fulfilled in his job.

I will add that the cultural differences you'll have with a middle-class Thai guy from Bangkok are a million times easier to overcome than with some guy raised on a poor farm with no planning skills who's been taught that he should "know his place" in society

So why anyone would want to place that extra burden on themselves by having a relationship with a poor bar boy or impoverished country boy, I don't know. The Thais don't get it either. When they see that they just think you're stupid.


On the flip side, you have the poorer Thais who end up in the go-go bars, and many people mistake their demeanor and actions as "Thai culture", which is utterly false. In reality, it's the actions of someone who grew up in a campground / village, with little to no supervision, rules, or responsibilities. Please don't mistake that as "that's just how the Thais do things, it's in their culture", because it just ain't true.
Again... Totally agree. Having said that, I think it's worth distinguishing... That among the poorer Thais, there's a difference between those who are keen to work hard and making a decent life for themselves and those who are lazy, have no intention of working and are willing to sell their bodies for money.


There's unfortunately a valid reason why Thai people in general have contempt for the poor, unlike the West where every human is expected to be treated with the same level of common respect.
Yep... True. Some are genuinely disadvantaged and for them to work their way out of poverty is a massive challenge.

But a lot of them really just choose to be poor. My ex who I work closely with now is continually getting phone calls from his parents and other family members asking for money. They cannot comprehend how hard he has had to work and the risks he's had to take to live the sort of life he lives now. He loves his parents but gets annoyed, almost to the point of having contempt for them.

They have land and they have the means to make a decent living. But they just have no intention to be financially responsible for themselves. They failed to give him any sort of education (he had to study hard, beg the government or pay for it himself) and yet they just keep holding their hand out. He gets phone calls like "I heard you opened 8 "shops" now... Can you send me more money?".

No "congratulations" or "how did you manage to do that" or "we're so proud of you" or "I love you and is there anything we can do to help you"... The attitude's just terrible. No concept of individual achievement. No shame whatsoever.

[cdnmatt]

My point is that I think what most SGT readers see and have commented on, is the majority representation of Thai culture.

I don't know, and I can't go off statistics in a book, and instead only from what I see and experience in my daily life.

I guess it all depends on how you define "middle class". For me, it's just someone who's capable of affording a decent place to live (eg. 2bdrm+ house -- cheap at say 5000/month), the bills, decent furniture, TV, computer, maybe have a vehicle + motorbike, eat when they want without much worry, etc. By no means rich, but hard working, and comfortable enough. If your definition of "middle class" is the same as mine, than that's sprawling all throughout every inch of Thailand, and you only need to step outside of the bar scene and tourist areas for a few hours to see it.

These people aren't the rich elite, but they're just fine. For the most part, they're basically the exact same as any household in the West you'd find. They budget every month, try to put some away for their kid's college fund, etc. Sure there's some cultural differences, different food, different holidays, different customs, and things like that -- but nothing severe at all, which was my original point. The cultural gap between a farang and a bar boy is FAR larger than the gap between a farang and a typical Thai. For all intents and purposes, your average Thai is pretty close to your average Westerner.

For example, I've seen things posted here about how if a Thai doesn't thank you after receiving a favor / gift, it's not a problem, because it's just Thai culture. I'm sorry, but no, that's not Thai culture. That's just being a rude, ungrateful, self-entitled prick. Or how it's ok that he just blew 5000 baht, because Thais just aren't very good at budgeting. No, that has nothing to do with being Thai. That has to do with being raised in a village / campground with no responsibility. Just loads of things like that.

You know when you befriend a go-go boy, then shake your head in disbelief at the utterly stupid shit he does? Then after thinking about it, shrug it off as TiT? That's the stuff I'm talking about. The majority of Thai people conduct themselves quite differently from that.

[Beachlover]

[I guess it all depends on how you define "middle class".
Yeah, from what I observe...

I would say anyone earning 5,000/month or less is struggling.

5,000 to 10,000 is working class (unskilled workers and service staff earn around 6,000/month). They can afford to live but are limited in lifestyle. A lot of people on this level just have poor planning skills/follow through or can't get their act together.

10,000 to 40,000 is what I would call middle class and the type you are talking about above. They're not rich but they can live quite comfortably. I don't think it's too difficult to achieve this. Anyone who gets their act together can achieve this. But obviously if you're starting from the position of a farm boy and your parents won't give you the money to finish school, then it's going to be longer and harder road.

40,000 to 200,000/month is what I would call wealthy middle class. These people are doing quite well and can have a very nice lifestyle in Bangkok.

Above 200,000/month - I would say they are considered wealthy.

That middle category of 10,000 to 40,000 is sprawling all over Thailand as you say...


For example, I've seen things posted here about how if a Thai doesn't thank you after receiving a favor / gift, it's not a problem, because it's just Thai culture. I'm sorry, but no, that's not Thai culture. That's just being a rude, ungrateful, self-entitled prick. Or how it's ok that he just blew 5000 baht, because Thais just aren't very good at budgeting. No, that has nothing to do with being Thai. That has to do with being raised in a village / campground with no responsibility. Just loads of things like that.
Yep... Couldn't agree more. People should be intelligent enough to realise if you're having to deal with stuff like that, you're dating the wrong guy and more likely than not, the relationship won't be successful and will involve a lot of frustration. So don't bother.


You know when you befriend a go-go boy, then shake your head in disbelief at the utterly stupid shit he does? Then after thinking about it, shrug it off as TiT? That's the stuff I'm talking about. The majority of Thai people conduct themselves quite differently from that.
Yeah I know... so many people let their own principles and what is acceptable to them go out the door and try to excuse this stuff thinking, well if I'm going to date a Thai, I have to be tolerant and put up with a few strange things.

[timmberty]

maybe yes maybe no .. i shall follow the example set by you ... a fine roll model im sure you'd agree .. so he has no chance :occasion9:

[scottish-guy]

Oh, there's no maybe about it.

I don't think you quite understand - quite apart from the multiple ID insinuation, the complaint is one of hypocrisy.

Anyway, I'll bow out of it now - I wouldn't want people to think I was sticking my nose into something that didn't concern me.

[cdnmatt]

matt i have learnt that you dont need to back things up, you just say it often enough and people will start to belive it ...

Actually, I'm going to run with this, mainly because I'm stuck behind the computer buried under with work at the moment.

No timmberty, you don't get to play by a different set of rules from everyone else. You're the one screaming bloody murder about being accused of having multiple handles. So now I'd like you to either provide proof that I have multiple handles, or issue a public apology for the accusation, which is exactly what you keep saying should be enforced. You have to live up to your own set of standards too. Sucks, eh?

[svyturys]

In europe I've come across a few thai/european couples and even there the Euro guy shipped the Thai over and contributes the bulk of the cash....I'm yet to see a true equal relationship...Thai always seems to be on the take...but then again its most probably due to the circles i mix in as there is great wealth in Thailand.
You are very wrong. Thais here in Europe love white guys. The problem is actually opposite - many Europeans simply don't fancy Asians. I dated a Thai guy here in the UK and there would not be even a thought about money. But again - we were peers. Where we should agree is that the main obstacle in proper Thai/white relationship is the significant age gap. And much older whites apparently are rarely particularly handsome. In fact, often scary as my friends told me after visiting the country. In these circumstances I can fully understand locals not involved in commercial gay scene.
Thais are conservative and actually disgusted of all sex scene but powerless to change anything. I noticed from chatting to them here in London that they aren't very willing to discuss this subject altogether. I think it's fairly natural why locals would want to distance themselves from old age sex tourists.
However it is a hot country and they love sex so I'm sure that given the right circumstances such as similar age and looks, many Thais would go for white and be proud of it.

[adman5000]

Adman5000 said Cdnmatt, I agree but what % of the SGT readers do you think interact relationship-wise with a Thai middle class guy? I would imagine it is in the very low single digit percent.


Beachlover said: The issue I see is that people are just completely unaware that this 10-30% that you're talking about exists. They spend all their time with the other 70% (actually a lot of the time it sounds like the bottom 20%) and assume that's all there is.

I agree with you both. (not sure if in the first quotation I could quote myself and agree with myself, but it certainly reduces arguments. :glasses7: )

The definition in this thread of a typical Thai seems to vary greatly. I think the same is true in most of our home countries. Thanks for a good discussion with a lot of different viewpoints.

[adman5000]

Why don't you guys just get your own board and bitch at and accuse each other there. :violent1: It is really a pain in the ass to have threads ruined by your antics. I don't mind someone going off the path a bit when I start a conversation, but let's keep on topic. If you have something to add to the topic, I greatly appreciate all contributions even if you may have different views than I do. I learn from that and welcome it. But please don't subject the other board readers to your mud-flinging. No I am not the moderator, but I can still voice my request and ask you show the class you are surely capable of. I don't add junk to your posts. Can we PLEASE get back on the topic and quit jabbing each other.

:naka:

I have split and moved the easy to split posts - jinks

[cdnmatt]

Why don't you guys just get your own board and bitch at and accuse each other there. :violent1: It is really a pain in the ass to have threads ruined by your antics.

Well, I don't know. Where's timmerbty. I kinda want an answer to my question -- A, B or C. Maybe he slinked off, and decided to shut up about multiple handles, in which case, mission accomplished! :-)

[adman5000]

It would be helpful to leave it alone, otherwise "the lady doth protest too much, methinks." :glasses7:

[Mancs]

Important to many Thai men I have met is getting plenty of sleep(maybe that is their age-did we sleep like that when we were twenty something?) and a fridge with plenty of the right snacks in it. Microwave meals from the jet/sipp-at (sorry, 7, as they would say), cashew nuts, yoghurt, and vitamin drinks for the ones that like weight training. And some beer but they don't seem to hammer the alcohol in the room, even if they do when out. Maybe some orange juice. Cake and biscuits for me and some of that will disappear into them but not a lot. I always stock the fridge up-it's cheaper than them using the mini bar stuff. That reminds me of drinking the wrong water at BBB Inn and one of the lads chased me down the road to charge me 70 bt for a small bottle. And the Isaan men need Som Tam of course. What do the men you all take to the room like to find in the fridge?

[adman5000]

Brad the Impala said: Wit and word play, puns etc, are much appreciated.
Haa sanuk geng, good at participating in a party is popular, and not just picking up the bill.

Similarly, the ability to enjoy fun things is something the Thai guys appreciate. I often take along card and dice games to the beach and find that the Thai guys curiosity gets them every time and they have to check out the game. Once one Thai guy joins in, many more will stop to check things out and if more Thai guys participate, the more they all enjoy it. They find it difficult to pass by fun and games.

[SmoothLegs]

just can not believe this topic is 7 pages long

guess nobody knows ..., or maybe it depends on the guy.

MY GUESS IS, THAI BOYS/YOUNGMEN ARE HUMAN, SO THEY LIKE HONESTY, EVEN IF THEY ARE NOT HONEST.

Who am I kidding, professional prostitute shoppers, farangs in Thailand,
YEP, 99% of the people who(m) read this are low class people/farangs, who(m) can I fuck this Thai boy tonight for 500-1000-2000 baht

and you people believe you are nice good humans :bis: :violent1: :violent1:

[adman5000]

Yes, it depends on the Thai guy, but it also depends on the farang guy. I think we all carry our own Karma which in turn influences what happens to us. You generally will find what you are looking for, whether it is good or bad.

[anonone]

Important to many Thai men I have met is getting plenty of sleep(maybe that is their age-did we sleep like that when we were twenty something?) and a fridge with plenty of the right snacks in it. Microwave meals from the jet/sipp-at (sorry, 7, as they would say), cashew nuts, yoghurt, and vitamin drinks for the ones that like weight training. And some beer but they don't seem to hammer the alcohol in the room, even if they do when out. Maybe some orange juice. Cake and biscuits for me and some of that will disappear into them but not a lot. I always stock the fridge up-it's cheaper than them using the mini bar stuff. That reminds me of drinking the wrong water at BBB Inn and one of the lads chased me down the road to charge me 70 bt for a small bottle. And the Isaan men need Som Tam of course. What do the men you all take to the room like to find in the fridge?

Interesting fridge list you have compiled. Not many favorites of my BF. yoghurt occasionally. More often some whole fruit we have picked up. He tends to pick up some energy drinks to keep in the fridge. Most of the time it is the awful one that tastes like medicine. I find the yellow one to be much more tolerable. And I don't know exactly what it is, but some snack bag of a seafood taste is also a favorite of his.

He does like to have some food first thing upon waking up, but as I am usually out running around well before he wakes up, I have the habit of grabbing some street food for us to share when I get back to the room. Usually kiow nieu muu ping. And yes, he does like plenty of sleep.

[Beachlover]

In europe I've come across a few thai/european couples and even there the Euro guy shipped the Thai over and contributes the bulk of the cash....I'm yet to see a true equal relationship...Thai always seems to be on the take...but then again its most probably due to the circles i mix in...
It's the circles mix in. There are plenty of Thai/Western couples where no financial advantage is taken.

What you're describing does happen in some Thai/Western relationships but then I also see it in a fair few Thai/Thai relationships too. Some Thais are happy to do that and others don't.

One of my ex's is very good looking and has had a string of BFs who wanted to "support" and "look after" him... but he refused to have any of that. He wanted to pave his own road and he has. In fact, when we were together, he would sometimes surprise me by booking a weekend away to here or there and pay for everything.


the main obstacle in proper Thai/white relationship is the significant age gap.
You're assuming there's always an age gap in this sort of relationship, which is totally untrue... I see lots of Thai/white relationships where they are the same age. I also know one couple where the Thai is in his mid-thirties (though very young looking) and the white guy is barely 19 or 20.

[latintopxxx]

beachie...the vast..and I mean overwhelming majority of cases...as in 99,9999999% ....the Thai guy is younger and cuter..and kept by the white walking wallet. Sure there may be some equal relationships based on love and physical attraction.....but you would probably find it easier to find a honest politician.
Not that I'm complaining...I like it just the way it is...I got the wallet...and they....

[svyturys]

[You're assuming there's always an age gap in this sort of relationship, which is totally untrue... I see lots of Thai/white relationships where they are the same age. I also know one couple where the Thai is in his mid-thirties (though very young looking) and the white guy is barely 19 or 20.
No Bl. I don't. I simply adapt it to the reality of this forum. Despite it is being named as gay Thailand forum, probably 4/5 info on it is about Pattaya, expats and moneyboys. I believe it is very different outside of the seedy resort.
I read stories on here and I'm amazed how some expats got no clue as to why they experience certain problems with their much younger toy-boys.