bucknaway
April 15th, 2013, 03:19
Seems there are two different Thailands. One where you need your wallet and money at all times if you are going to have the slightest interaction with almost all natural born Thailander. Then there is the other Thailand where many of the people are not interested in the cash in your wallet, they are more interested in you, the visitor, and you going away with a positive impression of their country.
To the first group, all sex costs money. To the 2nd group, commercial sex costs money but they don't depend on commercial avenues for sexual gratification. To the first group, they can't wrap their heads around the notion that a Thai person would have sex with a vacationer for fun and fear that if more vacationers have free sex the paid sex workers will dwindle to a few and that prospect only frightens those who depend on the commercial men & women for their sexual adventures.
A visitor could have 100's of sexual encounters where no money changes hands with the general population, but when things go left and the two parties are on different pages where one thought it was just another casual "money-free" sex adventure, and the other was hoping for cash... Well, that is where the first group want to point at one of their commandments which states "Thou shall pay for sex!" Yet, they ignore all the other 100's of their other encounters where no money was required.
Sure, there will be those who lie and say they are not interested in money for sex, but after the sex they will ask for taxi money or something similar.
The people in the first Thailand forget that the commercial sex workers are human with everyday emotions, wants, dreams, dislikes, pains, fears and regrets. They experience lust, repulsion, love and jealousy just as we all do. They may even be lustful of a bar visitor just as we fancy a person or two from our own place of employment.
Even here in the USA I have gone to social events and given free entry by a worker for the simple of all reasons. We clicked. I've been given free drinks from bartenders, bar owners and bar strangers. I've also given away my fair share of drinks and food. Yet when it is mentioned that bar workers in Thailand offered to provide free sexual services after the bar closes and to wait for them... Well that is just too much for the first group to accept. If it never has happened to them then as far as they are concerned, it could never ever happen to anyone else. EVER!
To the second group. Making the mistake of sleeping with someone who later reveals that they were doing it in the hopes to be paid... Well we don't like being tricked and if it happens more than we care to be accepting of, we may handle it badly. Still... We won't revert fully back into the first Thailand if only because we are happy at home in the 2nd Thailand.
And for the record, off all the free sex offered to "Me" by commercial sex workers, I only took one guy up on his offer and in the morning they asked for taxi money so I chalked it up to not being as free as they promised. Since then I have rejected all free offers of sex from bar workers knowing that they most likely won't be free.
I was reminded of this when I was in Chiang Mai when a bar manager gave me a ride from his bar to another bar. That ride turned into something else that I was not expecting or looking for. The manager stayed with me as I bar hopped. I had to buy him drinks as well as myself. Each time I reminded him that I was Okay now, he refused to take the hint and stayed with me making it impossible for me to connect with anyone else. We ended up back at my room and yes we did have sex. I like to think that he enjoyed it more than I did. And when we woke in the morning..... He asked for gas money. (Sigh).
So now when I step out of the 2nd Thailand and into the commercial sex of the 1st Thailand, I remember that free is not free and if you are not careful, free can often cost more than the typical cost of doing business.
So when I read a post and the guy is up on his soap box preaching the 1st commandment of Thailand.... "Thou Shall Pay For Sex!" I know they live in the 1st Thailand and know nothing to little of the 2nd Thailand where our commandment is. "Be Respectful, Kind and Have Fun."
To the first group, all sex costs money. To the 2nd group, commercial sex costs money but they don't depend on commercial avenues for sexual gratification. To the first group, they can't wrap their heads around the notion that a Thai person would have sex with a vacationer for fun and fear that if more vacationers have free sex the paid sex workers will dwindle to a few and that prospect only frightens those who depend on the commercial men & women for their sexual adventures.
A visitor could have 100's of sexual encounters where no money changes hands with the general population, but when things go left and the two parties are on different pages where one thought it was just another casual "money-free" sex adventure, and the other was hoping for cash... Well, that is where the first group want to point at one of their commandments which states "Thou shall pay for sex!" Yet, they ignore all the other 100's of their other encounters where no money was required.
Sure, there will be those who lie and say they are not interested in money for sex, but after the sex they will ask for taxi money or something similar.
The people in the first Thailand forget that the commercial sex workers are human with everyday emotions, wants, dreams, dislikes, pains, fears and regrets. They experience lust, repulsion, love and jealousy just as we all do. They may even be lustful of a bar visitor just as we fancy a person or two from our own place of employment.
Even here in the USA I have gone to social events and given free entry by a worker for the simple of all reasons. We clicked. I've been given free drinks from bartenders, bar owners and bar strangers. I've also given away my fair share of drinks and food. Yet when it is mentioned that bar workers in Thailand offered to provide free sexual services after the bar closes and to wait for them... Well that is just too much for the first group to accept. If it never has happened to them then as far as they are concerned, it could never ever happen to anyone else. EVER!
To the second group. Making the mistake of sleeping with someone who later reveals that they were doing it in the hopes to be paid... Well we don't like being tricked and if it happens more than we care to be accepting of, we may handle it badly. Still... We won't revert fully back into the first Thailand if only because we are happy at home in the 2nd Thailand.
And for the record, off all the free sex offered to "Me" by commercial sex workers, I only took one guy up on his offer and in the morning they asked for taxi money so I chalked it up to not being as free as they promised. Since then I have rejected all free offers of sex from bar workers knowing that they most likely won't be free.
I was reminded of this when I was in Chiang Mai when a bar manager gave me a ride from his bar to another bar. That ride turned into something else that I was not expecting or looking for. The manager stayed with me as I bar hopped. I had to buy him drinks as well as myself. Each time I reminded him that I was Okay now, he refused to take the hint and stayed with me making it impossible for me to connect with anyone else. We ended up back at my room and yes we did have sex. I like to think that he enjoyed it more than I did. And when we woke in the morning..... He asked for gas money. (Sigh).
So now when I step out of the 2nd Thailand and into the commercial sex of the 1st Thailand, I remember that free is not free and if you are not careful, free can often cost more than the typical cost of doing business.
So when I read a post and the guy is up on his soap box preaching the 1st commandment of Thailand.... "Thou Shall Pay For Sex!" I know they live in the 1st Thailand and know nothing to little of the 2nd Thailand where our commandment is. "Be Respectful, Kind and Have Fun."