why is it so easy to lose touch ??

[timmberty]

after reading traverjim's post about toi, someone he clearly feels much love and affection to, i wonder why it is all so easy to lose touch with special thai friends.
there have been so many posts where by people ask .. does anyone know what has happened to so and so ..
in this day and age its really not so hard to stay in contact no matter where in the world someone maybe.
im sure those special thai friends so many people have made over the years and have then disapeared into the earther dont mean to let the friendships die, so why do they bother so little about keeping in contact?
is it a western idea to ask once in a while how people are, and not a thai idea?
i am aware if a thai goes on the missing list for 2 years then reapears into the life of a special farang, he is like a puppy with two tails!! so why oh why do they find it so hard to stay in touch. ?

[joe552]

ah, the one that got away - what might have been - always hoping I'll accidentally bump into him on Beach Road (although he's probably raising a family in Si Saket). I'll bet each of us has that one special one that got away. :crybaby:

[bucknaway]

I'm surprised the guys can remember any of us. As one of us leaves there is a plane-full of visitors storming the country.
For the most part I would imagine the majority of the men the guys meet all have very similar characteristics. All close to the same age, height, weight, style of dress with similar limited abilities in speaking Thai.

Can you imagine working in a bar where 1000's of men visit and 10 to 20% of them all think they are being held special to certain bar workers. Sure some are but I am also sure many are not.

[peeseua]

When I think of some of the things I've had to do to put food on the table, I don't think I'd relish running into anyone from my past who knew about it all. So I can sympathise with the gentlemen gone missing...

[Beachlover]

Either they don't value having any relationship or friendship with you or they just don't put value on relationships in general. Or they're just poorly organised.

Plus what Peeseua said above is probably true, if that's the sort of person you mean by "special friend".

[timmberty]

well i have no idea, but i would assume people read traveller jims post about toi ... a man he knew for quite a few years.
someone he holds dear, someone he would like to know how he is and where he is ...
maybe this is the reason most gay people get depression, i would consider a special friend to be someone you have known for many many years ... where on the other hand so far the replies to this thread seem to give the impression a special friend is someone you spent 2 weeks fucking !!!

[paperboy]

hi everyone,

what ive noticed over the years, not many that ive been comming to thailand, alot of the boys ive met have either changed the mobile number or for certain changed there email address too. Not too mention how many profile changes on gayromeo.
i have 3 specail boys that i have on my face book, the rest i have on whatsapp or line, so if they loose there fone, they lose my contact and no way to gat back too me, unless i bump into then when im in thailand

paperboy

[bucknaway]

I have some friends who have settled down and their boyfriends prefer that they limit the people who they remain in contact with.

I have far too many friends die in accidents or strange natural causes.

Other friends I have lost contact with because it was leading down a path that I didn't want to go.

Other friends I take for granted expecting them to be a part of my life will the end of time.

The loss of North has made Pattaya seem colder to me. Hoping to avoid the hurt of loss, on my future visits I will pick my friends like I pick my fruit.

I have some friends who have settled down and their boyfriends prefer that they limit the people who they remain in contact with.Ive never understood that the boy who comes to the relationship with nothing but his youth ends up being "kept" but thinks hes in charge limits their social contacts etc. etc.

[timmberty]

Hoping to avoid the hurt of loss, on my future visits I will pick my friends like I pick my fruit.
boyfriends that grow on trees, now that would be special .. i bet it would attract quite a crowd.
friendship isnt something you pick is it ? id say its more just something that happens over time, most of the people i like best are people i didnt actually like much on first meeting.
friendships grow and evolve, you mention noth, his passing made many sad on here, but i bet there is not one person, you included, that wish they had never met him !
far from picking its best to just let nature take its course and see which way the wond doth blow.

[christianpfc]

When I meet new friends I want to see again, I ask for telephone number AND gayromeo AND email/facebook, so I have two ways to contact them. I lost contact to a boy whom I liked very much because he changed his phone number.

[xlovery]

Most boys are looking for that long term secure relationship which will give them and their family long term security. When they find it it is not surprising that they want to shut out the past. Imagine you were their partner.vwould you be happy with them staying in contact with all their former customers?

[timmberty]

i think its time to give up on this one !!! did i mention customers ? i was talking about how easy it seems to be to lose touch with friends who you have known for a long time.
at no time have i mentioned people you fucked for a couple of weeks, as being people you would consider to be heart held friends ...
i guess the mentality of sex tourists is pretty much the same as the working boys ... more than a one night off means it must be love ..

When i met my bf over 2 years ago he was working in a bar but when we became bf's he turned his back on that sort of work and went to be with his family on the farm and the only time he goes to the big city is when i'm over there
I think a lot of the boys do the same and loose touch with people they used to know

[Neal]

:hah:

[loke]

I agree with Xlovery .

A boy will not risk a long relationship having his old "customers" farang friends as favourites in facebook or gayromeo .

I have experienced that myself , a boy that suddenly dissapeared and opened a new facebook profile and surprise , he was in a relationship and moved back to his family.