It's not as exciting as you think

[sclivejames]

The novelties wore off, After a few year's of living here I have decided to go back to my home Country.
I'm 44 ,and currently live on just around 40k plus a month,that's in baht,which is a pension sent by my Govt for various health problems.

I do own my own studio apartment but will try to rent it out whilst i'm away.
I plan to be away 12 months or a bit longer,MAYBE a lot more if I decide to,2 years might be good.

I will stay with family in a semi rural area in my Country,not far from the City,my Mum has made up the room for me.

The "novelty" here has worn off,and the "excitement"of renting money boys no longer thrills me.
My BF who I moved here for originally has gone his own way.

My days are filled with drinking coffee with other expat's ,usually straight guys,watching TV,computer ,sleep,sleeping all day,awake all night,sometimes calling the same moneyboys over who do the hurried 30 minute service for 500 b, etc,I dont even cum anymore,its just like calling a plumber.
Small thing's are annoying me .
I'm by myself here,i dont really trust people,i mostly mix or drink coffee with old straight expats which makes my days happier,but mostly i just sit in my room at night on the comnputer.


I would rather go back home,and see my family friends and work part time in my brother's shop etc,i plan to do some educational course's computer etc when im in New Zealand.
I guess im bored,the sex hiring of moneyboys is boring me,its just a business transaction,nothing great about it.
I would rather find true love and I can find real Thai/Asian guys in my own Country for free im sure that want real love.
I don't know but im counting down the days to leaving,my bags are already packed,strange isn't it that people are desperate to come here and im desperate to leave.
Sometimes I feel im wasting my life here,i want to see my family.I want to go home.

[Marsilius]

It would be interesting to learn how often and over how many years you had visited Thailand before deciding that you wanted to move there permanently.

For the first few years after my initial visits I would have followed your example. But as time has gone on over the past 20 years, I've seen more and more aspects of life in Thailand that have now convinced me that, although it's a great place to visit for a month's holiday, it is almost the last place that I'd want to reside in permanently.

Maybe you simply jumped in too soon?

[latintopxxx]

at 44 you should not be bone idle...sitting on your butt all day like a 70 year old....in fact I know 70 year olds who are busy...all day....the reason your life is empty is because you have no reason to get up in the morning....maybe if you at least did some charity work you woud have some fufillment....the more you give the more you get back....simple.

[Manforallseasons]

I can see your prospective at the age of 44 but if you were as old as LMTU just waking up would be enough.

[sclivejames]

I just want to go home.If I could I would go tonight.
Maybe if I didnt have my Mum and brother's I wouldnt feel so sad about being here,but I need to go back to see them,I have no one here.
I have been very down lately.

Anyway thanks for listening to me.

[latintopxxx]

marsillius...tend to agree...would not want to live here...in retirement...unless I had something real to do....have a really good friend ...Japanese...works for a huge Japanese multinational ..a real alpha male...who leads a charmed life...lives works in Thailand...married...but will do anything that moves...his team are all young graduates...and he rules....some of the stuff he gets up to is right out of a porn movie....but then he is Japanese and they are renown for their kinkiness...I have a lot to learn....he certainly is as happy as a pig in shit.....

[latintopxxx]

sclive james...this sounds real sad and of concern...at times like this you do need a friend to talk to...to pull you out of a dark place...at 44 you still have many good years ahead of you...dont waste them.

[sclivejames]

It would be interesting to learn how often and over how many years you had visited Thailand before deciding that you wanted to move there permanently.

For the first few years after my initial visits I would have followed your example. But as time has gone on over the past 20 years, I've seen more and more aspects of life in Thailand that have now convinced me that, although it's a great place to visit for a month's holiday, it is almost the last place that I'd want to reside in permanently.

Maybe you simply jumped in too soon?

I moved here because on my trips here I had a BF who i wanted to be with,but anyway he left after he got onto drugs etc.
Anyway I've had enough of Thai people,slamming doors in my building,music blaring,no politeness.

Yes thanks Latinpoxx,i appreciate your comments.

"Anyway I've had enough of _______ people". Fill in the blank with Thai, or Vietnamese, or French or Chinese or....

It takes a very special set of circumstances to enable expats to overlook the disagreeable aspects of living in an adopted country. After a while, as the OP says, it's not as exciting as you think. Long term expats in Thailand are there for the obvious reasons because the "opportunities" cannot be duplicated in their own countries. The excitement wears off sooner or later and many of us wonder why we ever purchased that condo or villa in the first place.

[sclivejames]

Your right Bob,I don't think I will end up selling this studio.
I have a friend yesterday I had coffee with 25 baht,he is 67yo,but from the UK,he' wants to go back in June,he's bored,his girlfriend left,he wants 6 months UK,6 months here.
He is having trouble selling his studio condo at the Nirun Apartments if anyone is interested,needs to sell it,will go down to 700k,things are just getting to him,boredom,watching TV etc.

But myself I think im far worse,im younger,I think at the moment the agent can get 6,000 a month rent for mine,I did tell him go down to 5,000 if he can't rent it out.
I would rather sell it,doubt I could,just too many for sale.

I wish things were different,I want to have a boyfriend,not drug addict or money boy,I want a house actually,i want things to do during the day.
Sometimes i get lonely,i will call a regular boy but they are in a hurry etc.
I dont know,i dont know why its not exciting anymore,i use to be excited and enjoy bars and restaurants,i dont know anymore,its just i need a change .

[latintopxxx]

wow...far too much negativity...one has to realise that its their country and their rules apply....and if you want to live here there has to be a purpose...one very good example is the old guy who owns Dream Boys+ Best boys BKK gogo bars in Bangkok...think he also owns one the the night clubs..he's as old as moses...but keeps busy and has a drop dead gorgeous Thai boy to keep his bed warm.....

Oh how sad Clive I feel for some reason I know you like a friend, this is what becomes of having no ying and yang in your life, you have to balance out what your doing and never do the same .
I know a guy similar to you he leads the most boring life does not even walk to the shops. Gets up mid day goes for boozy lunch goes back to bed, may go to some seedy bar if he feels like getting up gets drunk. Can hardly walk. Then does it again day in day out and then wonders why he's going mad with boredom, its such a shame to see nice guys go to seed this, but if you do nothing with your life. You can't exspect anything exciting In Return

At 44 you should be trying to start up you own small business back home, yes go home to where you have loved ones as that is what your missing the most by the sound of it .

I know how you feel as I retired at 43 and had made a good lot of money In property, I use to travel around the world and was going mad with boredom so I went back home Invested heavily back into property Interest rates went sky high I lost a fortune, so had to start all over again, so get Into business your be so much happier when you hear the till ringing.

[sclivejames]

yes I dont know,i just need a change that's all,i just have to go away for a while.
I just need to see different scenery for a while.
Strange though,the guy i met yeserday who owned a apartment at Nirun condo i had never met before,saw him around but never spoke to him,he just happened to sit near me and told me his story of wanting to go back,and i told him same with me,so im not just the only one,ok i admit i have a depression problem but that was under control,i dont know what is wrong with me,maybe lonely,i dont know,theres nothing here for me.
Sometimes i think of other expats that live alone,rarely go into town etc and are coping ok,im not i dont know why.
You know its the same thing everyday,now i force myself to try to get up early,try to go down to meet other expats where i live etc,but sometimes waking up 3pm.

I wouldn't presume to give advice but I'm sure Latin is right (Christ, that's twice in a day!) - sounds like it's the lack of something useful to do that's contributing a great deal to your melancholy.

Like a lot of people, I do plan to move to Thailand permanently when (if ever) circumstances allow - but I know that I will have to have something to do, some kind of work. Otherwise not only will I be bored to tears by the inactivity, but any relationship I have will be under such enormous strain that it will fall apart.

Best of luck to you in whatever you decide to do.

:hello2:

[catawampuscat]

A farang once told me that you take yourself with you whereever you go.. Some farngs with depression, lonely lives, no friends,
personality disorders, alcohol and drug issues think that a change of place will solve their problems but you take yourself with
you no matter where you go.
This is not aimed at dear clive but a general observation of many farangs who believe they have found paradise but forget that
they are still the same miserable old shit they were before they moved...

[zinzone]

Thank u sclivejames for your interesting postings here and best of luck to u.

[timmberty]

i dont quite get it clive ... you are bored and yet say you do nothing !!! you can do nothing anywhere in the world and you will be bored ..
its far worse being bored in a cold country than a hot one .. stuck indoors all day to bored to go out .. theres sure as hell no fun in that ..
why dont you try learn the language? as latin says do some charity work .. there are plenty of orphanages that need help ... how much fun does cleaning up sick off babies and toddlers sound ???
theres plenty to do out there mate ... get off ur ass and work it out .

[Manforallseasons]

A farang once told me that you take yourself with you whereever you go.. Some farngs with depression, lonely lives, no friends,
personality disorders, alcohol and drug issues think that a change of place will solve their problems but you take yourself with
you no matter where you go.
This is not aimed at dear clive but a general observation of many farangs who believe they have found paradise but forget that
they are still the same miserable old shit they were before they moved...


Im sure this includes Boca Raton as well!

There are many people who think they dont have to plan for retirement and that includes what they are going to do in retirement there are lots of stats about how soon guys die after retirement because there life has lost its meaning now they dont turn up for work every day.

Mind you you may as well commit suicide as go and live in Pattaya.

[sclivejames]

But how do you make your life have meaning? It's hard to find real love here.
I could give some boy free board and which i have done just for company but they usually dont want love,and then i have to lock everything up etc..



I suppose you mean volunteer work or hobby? Something to do
And going to bed at normal times and getting up early etc.

Sometimes I wonder why i'm here? I don't know really,because it's not love i can find.

[timmberty]

clive if you want real love, then you need to look for someone your own age.. you moved to thailand to be with a guy how many years younger than you ? do you think a 20yr old or there abouts will give you love in N.Z. ?
how do you make your life have meaning ? define meaning ? we all live we all die .. none of it matters in the end ..
but for sure the grass is always greener elsewhere .. then when you get there you find its no better where ever you are ...
you live in a foreign land and dont speak the language .. thus cutting you off from most of the people who live there .. not a great start .. if you went to school there, straight away you would have as many people in your class thai and others to call friends ..
sure get up when dawn breaks, go for a walk along the beach, what better way to start the day ..
in the end the love you give is equal to the love get ..

[sclivejames]

A farang once told me that you take yourself with you whereever you go.. Some farngs with depression, lonely lives, no friends,
personality disorders, alcohol and drug issues think that a change of place will solve their problems but you take yourself with
you no matter where you go.
This is not aimed at dear clive but a general observation of many farangs who believe they have found paradise but forget that
they are still the same miserable old shit they were before they moved...


Great stuff Catwampus ,i think it's about right.

[lonelywombat]

If you are looking for an indication for something to do ,what not assist in your community as a helper.

Our State premier in my state twice, is now a prominent spokesman on many things, as well as being National Chairman of Beyond Blue.

Beyond Blue for those suffering from depression gets a lot of publicity because of Kennett's background and his many articles in the largest newspapers.

I do not know if there is anything similar in NZ. But a good place to start might be to find out about Beyond Blue in Australia, and get references.

http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?

[harry2]

Scotty,

Retire out here and put your obvious writing skills to good use.

I have been much entertained by your literary prowess, and, in my opinion, you are one of the most eloquent, literate and humorous contributors to the board: I love your contributions, for they are intelligent, purposeful and very witty: as one would expect, for the Scots have one of the greatest education systems in the world.

Harry

[Neal]

I am moving these posts regarding LMTU and his moderated status to Rules and Guidelines where the Rules and Guidelines say that they should be posted.

[Oliver]

Good luck Clive.

[sclivejames]

Thanks Oliver

[pennyboy]

Having read the posts I think if the OP returned home then Pattaya may just be a little brighter :happy7:

[sclivejames]

:dontknow:
Having read the posts I think if the OP returned home then Pattaya may just be a little brighter :happy7:

Yes dear.....well i guess i can't please everyone....i do try .........i do try.but i guess i cant win your heart.....oh well.... :love4:

[Halfhansum]

If you dont mind me asking Clive, have you been managing ok on your 40,000 Bth, ??

[sclivejames]

yes halfhansum, I do own my own Studio,not the best but better than Nirun Condo where i stayed before.

Yes i budget for electrcity and other bills,but fruit and vegetables are more expensive here,eg apples ,lemons or same price as home,eg,bananas ,cans of tuna

I tend to save 15k or so a month or so which isnt too bad.
I dont tip eg coffee at a cafe or may leave 10 b ,max 20 b tip ever ,eg chinese restaurant , Food is no cheaper here really and im not over keen on Thai food.
Lettuce is twice the price ,i saw lettuce ,small 160 baht in the supermarket,ridicilous.

[Beachlover]

although it's a great place to visit for a month's holiday, it is almost the last place that I'd want to reside in permanently.
I love visiting Thailand but at the end of the day, lifestyle in Australia is better for us.

Having said that, I could definitely live in Thailand for a while if I needed to. Got my boyfriend, his family, great group of friends and lots of connections. We'd have an awesome penthouse style pad overlooking Bangkok city - the kind we would never be able to get in Sydney! And I reckon I could fairly easily setup a business to run from Bangkok that would keep me feeling like I have a relevant reason to be in Bangkok (which is probably what most expats who exhibit feelings like sclivejames are missing and not aware of - local relevance that is).


A farang once told me that you take yourself with you whereever you go.. Some farngs with depression, lonely lives, no friends,
personality disorders, alcohol and drug issues think that a change of place will solve their problems but you take yourself with
you no matter where you go.
This is not aimed at dear clive but a general observation of many farangs who believe they have found paradise but forget that
they are still the same miserable old shit they were before they moved...
Totally agree with this post.

I notice so many feral farangs in Thailand... they seem to pop up everywhere. Don't get me wrong. There's a good number of perfectly respectable ones too but the feral ones just stand out sometimes.

When one of my ex-boyfriends is with me and we see one of those he starts taking the piss saying, "you should go talk to him! Tell him he can't do/wear/say/talk like that here! Tell him what he doing wrong! He from your country, he your people! You should help him to fix himself!" LOL I give him shit about Thais all the time so he loves getting back.