When Will the British Learn to Speak English

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Brits and the English Language
by Canadien ┬╗ Mon Jan 28, 2013 4:40 pm

When will the British learn to speak English correctly? Unfortunately they probably never will. Their incorrect use of whilst in place of the correct while is just the top of the pile. Calling the television a telly is so childish as to be ridiculous. Then, of course, we get to such poor descriptions as "trainers" and "wank." Since the Yanks left the old country it seems that those still trapped in Merry Ole Britain can't progress beyond their ancient tongue.

Of course, the Brits are at least understandable in comparison to Scottish people who can't even understand themselves. They sound as though someone had cut their tongues down the middle and tied the two pieces in a knot.

Now that I have your attention please be advised that the above is all a joke that I (an American) just made up to get my British friends up in a tizzy.

What I really want to say is that I don't understand why US television is such trash. The US news media is a joke in comparison to BBC and Al Jeezera. Comedy in US television is usually silly slapstick that I really don't care to watch. British television has, on the other hand, has produced material like Midsommer Murders, Are you being served, Faulty Towers and others. Perhaps this explains why we elected Geroge Bush twice, let Cheney walk the streets a free man rather than placing him in prison as he should be, and why so many Americans hate Obama. Do you think it's retardation, ignorance, stupidity or a combination of all of the above? I recently returned to my home town for a visit and was more than happy to return to Thailand. Not that the government here is any better but I have less emotion invested in what goes on here.

[Narakmak]

How daft!
American t.v. comedy worthless.
I think not.

(Some current, some old, some very old)

Not mentioning cartoon shows, variety comedy like SNL, or political satire like Colbert Report

SEINFELD, best tv show in history
CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM
GIRLS
LOUIE
SARAH SILVERMAN SHOW
ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT
FREAKS AND GEEKS
MODERN FAMILY
BORED TO DEATH
PORTLANDIA
IN LIVING COLOR
I LOVE LUCY
ALL IN THE FAMILY

I'm sorry "Canadien", but if you are seriously suggesting that "Are You Being Served?" is some kind of comedy gold then I fear for your taste if not your sanity.

It was a mildly amusing comedy which quickly flogged its 2 ideas to death (1 effeminate gay man, and 1 elderly woman woman who kept dragging her"pussy" into the conversation). Towards the end AYBS became nothing more than the "slapstick" you criticise - with the cast being replaced by very poor actors and the "comedy" reliant on the characters dressing up in silly costumes in ludicrous situations. If you doubt this - watch the AYBS movie they made, and I guarantee you'll positively cringe.
Also watch the Croft & Perry writing duo's other BBC series (like "Allo Allo", "It Ain't Half Hot Mum", "Hi De Hi", - and even "Dad's Army" towards the end) - you will see the same pattern - a good idea for a situation comedy, but flogged to death.

Luckily "Fawlty Towers" (was the mis-spelling intended to be ironic, given your opening remarks?) only ran for 12 episodes - presumably because John Cleese and Connie Booth had the good sense to realise that that was the limit of its central plot (a manic Hotel owner and his wife, a dim-witted Spanish waiter, and Connie Booth's entirely superfluous role as an American waitress) . Had Fawlty Towers gone on and one like AYBS et al, it would have fallen into the same unfunny, predictable rut.

Now, don't get me started on the BBC's news operations - far from being the impartial news broadcaster it portrays itself as, it is in fact nothing more than a State Broadcaster funded compulsorily by licence-payers to pump out propaganda on behalf of the British State (note I do not say British Government - that would be too easily seen through). Following revelations of a number of high-profile scandals and cover-ups facilitated by the BBC, public trust has never been lower. In Scotland, demonstrations have been and will continue to be held around BBC "black-ops" within our political debate - which extends to censorship by omission, news-manufacturing , retrospective editing of content after the "lie" has been allowed to propagate, editing of news footage to alter the context, and the latest one - blatant "manipulation" (her words, not mine) of recent comments made by the Irish Foreign Minister in relation to Scotland:

http://newsnetscotland.com/index.php/scottish-politics/6649-hyslop-calls-bbc-scotland-reporting-of-irish-ministers-eu-comments-unfortunate.

Currently we in Scotland get more truth from Al Jazeera than from the BBC.

So, if the BBC is the standard that you believe USA broadcasters should be aiming towards, I have to heartily disagree.

[Neal]

And I vote for Everyone Loves Raymond and also Freinds. Let's see, Fox news is a disgrace.

[anonone]

My opinion....

Most US News on TV is garbage. Accuracy and depth ignored in pursuit of sensationalism and ratings. It is like all of America has a short attention span and any story over 30 seconds is not possible. An exception is some programming on PBS, which has some decent news programs.

As for comedies, Friends has held up remarkably well. I caught an old pisode recently and still enjoyable. I was a big fan of the English "coupling", though I didn't catch them until well off the air. Well done.

Currently, Modern Family in the US is pretty good ensemble comedy. But I think Thai is the winner when it comes to slapstick.

[Captain Swing]

The OP, though joking, brought up something that has puzzled me more and more lately: the use of "whilst." I see that in the posts of a number of presumed Brits, and although I quickly acknowledge that it's a real word, not in any sense "incorrect," I don't recall seeing it elsewhere in any modern writing. It seems Dickensian. Or Shakespearean even. And I don't ever recall hearing it spoken. Have I just been oblivious to it? Is that still the common usage in Britain? Do people still use it in spoken language or only written? Or is there some joke involved that I'm not aware of? When I saw the title of this topic I thought maybe this would be a good opportunity to ask, then was surprised to see the OP mention that very thing. Forsooth!

[joe552]

Whilst I can't be certain, I think NIrish Guy uses the word "whilst" in his posts. Don't imagine he uses it when speaking though. I think it's reasonably common in written but not spoken English (of course, I'm Irish and as Oscar Wilde pointed out, the best English is spoken in Dublin).

[adman5000]

I also think Al Jazeera has excellent news coverage. I also like PBS Hour.

For comedy shows, I would also add Frasier. I always enjoy watching the series on the plane between home and Thailand.

By way of balance I provide this link to an article on why the Internet is full of American nut jobs
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2013-01-3 ... tic-fringe (http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2013-01-30/rise-americas-lunatic-fringe)

[kittyboy]

I'm sorry "Canadien", but if you are seriously suggesting that "Are You Being Served?" is some kind of comedy gold then I fear for your taste if not your sanity.

It was a mildly amusing comedy which quickly flogged its 2 ideas to death (1 effeminate gay man, and 1 elderly woman woman who kept dragging her"pussy" into the conversation). Towards the end AYBS became nothing more than the "slapstick" you criticise - with the cast being replaced by very poor actors and the "comedy" reliant on the characters dressing up in silly costumes in ludicrous situations. If you doubt this - watch the AYBS movie they made, and I guarantee you'll positively cringe.
Also watch the Croft & Perry writing duo's other BBC series (like "Allo Allo", "It Ain't Half Hot Mum", "Hi De Hi", - and even "Dad's Army" towards the end) - you will see the same pattern - a good idea for a situation comedy, but flogged to death..

I have always admitted to having low standards.....so it comes as no surprise that I loved are you being served.....the first seasons. Yea it was the same old joke but it was comforting for me to watch an obviously gay man accepted and loved by his coworkers. That was a positive image for me 25 years ago when I watched it on American public Telly.

Whilst I have no particular recollection of using that word much in general it appears that may in fact be the case, however whilst sitting here thinking about this very topic now that its been raised ( ok enough :-)) I would agree that it's probably more a written thing than spoken here - but not much perhaps and anyone who takes care over their grammar ( and I'm the first to admit that thats usually not me !) then they might certainly use whilst rather than while I suppose.

Maybe it is a bit olde worlde I don't know, but I do think it also has just a nice ring to it ( apart from the fact that as the OP has already said it is also totally suitable and a correct word to use) so here in Northern Ireland certainly at least ( and I'm guessing across the UK in general perhaps) I would say that "whilst" is still a word that IS very widely, used both orally and in writing, all just IMHO of course as maybe I and several people I know who still use it are just stuck in the dark ages and we need to update our dictonaries to include more words like "dudes" and "cool" etc ( god forbid!) :-)

[KevDik]

While we are on this subject of correct English etc. and I see that NIrish uses brackets a fair amount. Can someone please tell me the correct placing of a full stop or comma, when it comes at the end of a bracketed phrase, at the end of a sentence. Is it inside the closing bracket or outside of it? Such a long time since I was at school.
Thanks,
Kevin

I'm sure I should probably be the LAST person answering your question :-) but to answer it anyway the full stop or comma should be placed after the closing bracket.

[kjun12]

I'm sorry "Canadien", but if you are seriously suggesting that "Are You Being Served?" is some kind of comedy gold then I fear for your taste if not your sanity. .
As a regular poster who always has something to say about many original posts the opinion if the scottish person is not unexpected nor worthy of much comment. What could one expect of someone from backward Scotland.

[neoncrusade]

Currently we in Scotland get more truth from Al Jazeera than from the BBC.

So, if the BBC is the standard that you believe USA broadcasters should be aiming towards, I have to heartily disagree.

I like Al Jazeera too for news, mainly because it has more of a world focus. BBC news is too UK centric.

However Scotty...vote for Scottish independence and you can be rid of the BBC. As Alex Salmond said at the International TV Festival in Edinburgh last year:-

'I want to break up the BBC, should Scotland become independent'

A total separation from the BBC would see the BBC lose ┬г320m or ┬г340m from its ┬г3.5bn annual licence fee income.

As has been pointed out in the press however, this is a sum of money the BBC could live without if it had to. A Scottish Broadcasting Corporation would have to pay for the rights to show BBC programmes, which will help to close the BBC's funding gap.
It is harder still to see what an SBC might produce on ┬г340m a year. Given that top-end budgets can be as much as ┬г750,000 an episode, one hour of quality drama a week could cost a 10th of the entire budget.
You'll be watching re runs of Andy Stewart and Moira Anderson for years!
It's a shame the English can't vote in the up coming referendum....the Scots would get their independence no problem! :occasion9: