Other Thai Forms of Disrespect

[Neal]

How about we start making a list of other known forms of disespect but these forms of disrespect to the Thai hosts and their culture who some of us forget that we are their guests. Do you and your freinds honor them and try to pass them on to others?

[francois]

There are farang who use the word "fuck" and all its variations, usually in a loud voice, at all venues where anyone in proximity can hear it. This is not just in Thailand but in their home country. Very disrespectful.

[Manforallseasons]

Oh, fuck!

How about we start making a list of other known forms of disespect but these forms of disrespect to the Thai hosts and their culture who some of us forget that we are their guests. Do you and your freinds honor them and try to pass them on to others?Yes lets do that. One of my friends who teaches at a hi-so school in Bangkok says that two of the things that offend the parents of his kids are visible tattoos and farrang who openly associate with prostitutes and attend go-go bars. God knows what they think about farrang who own go-go bars.

[corky]

People who wear singlets when visiting restaurants.

[Neal]

Loud motorbikes. Not only disrespectful but illegal. Go check out the country or Caambodia and they are all quiet.

Bisbane Guy: Your humor is just so fanominal and entertaining. I really think you would be an asset to the Bitch Board. Don't hold back, go there and give show them what you got!

[francois]

Oh, fuck!

Cochon! :hah:

[Jellybean]

IтАЩm not sure if this qualifies as тАЬdisrespectтАЭ, but it is something that I donтАЩt like to see. It is peculiar to Bangkok because it concerns boarding the Sky Train. In preparation for boarding the Sky Train Thai people form two orderly queues (a line) on the painted areas on the platforms indicating where the carriage doors will be. Most foreigners will realise that they too are expected to queue (join the line) like everyone else. But time after time I see foreigners, mainly farang, simply ignore the two lines of people and walk right up to the front, empty, middle area and board the train first when it arrives.

You can see from looking at the Thais in the queues (lines) that they are not happy about the queue jumping farang, but they are too polite to say anything.

Oh, and IтАЩve just thought of another example, the custom of removing your shoes before entering certain premises, especially where you see a collection of shoes by the door or, occasionally, a sign saying quite clearly, тАЬPlease remove your shoes before entering.тАЭ. I have seen farang ignore the signs and enter premises, such as my eye doctorтАЩs surgery, still wearing their shoes when everyone else in the waiting area is bare foot or wearing socks.

Surely when in a foreign country it is respectful to follow local customs, especially when they are not unduly arduous.

Bisbane Guy: Your humor is just so phenominal and entertaining. I really think you would be an asset to the Bitch Board. Don't hold back, go there and give show them what you got!Your hi-so contacts tell you something different Neal? Thats phenomenal. Will you share it with us?

[a447]

Brisbaneguy wrote:
One of my friends who teaches at a hi-so school in Bangkok says that two of the things that offend the parents of his kids are visible tattoos and farrang who openly associate with prostitutes and attend go-go bars.

Maybe you should have another chat with your teacher friend and ask him how on earth the parents would know such things. In a village school, maybe, but in Bangkok???
Does the farang bring his working girl to parent/teacher nights?? Where else could he "openly associate" with someone and be seen by the parents of the kids at the school?
And unless the parents also attend the gogo bars, how could they possible know what the farang teacher does out of school? Does he tell the parents? Does he tell the students, who then go home and tell their parents??

I think your teacher friend is having you on. Either that, or he doesn't exist. :sign5:


God knows what they think about farrang who own go-go bars.

See above.

Actually the episode he quoted was parents seeing an off duty teacher in Siam Centre wearing casual clothes that showed a tattoo on the body that was normally covered up and the parents complained to the head teacher. And Im guessing hi-so parents have a radar about who is and is not a prostitute its pretty bloody obvious that if a westerner is walking around hand in hand with some young darker skinned person where they met up however I know you have an obsession with believing that everyone except you makes stories up so if thats what you want to believe go right ahead I dont give a toss whether someone like you believes me or not.

[a447]

I know you have an obsession with believing that everyone except you makes stories up

Everyone?? I can only think of 2.


Im guessing hi-so parents have a radar about who is and is not a prostitute

Possible. Do they also have a radar to distinguish between a prostitute and a wife?

And what about the visits to the gogo bars? Did you friend explain that one?

[Sooty]

Possible. Do they also have a radar to distinguish between a prostitute and a wife? It's a lay-down misere for the Thai middle class - if the Thai is from Isaan and they're with a Westerner they're a prostitute. I spent some time with a nice Thai middle class boy last trip and he was openly contemptuous of the whole "brown skin" category of Thais (and very ambivalent about consorting with me, a black man). Such a wife is simply an ex-prostitute. From your posts it's clear you mix only with the dregs of Thai society so any scepticism on your part on this topic springs from an inability to face what the bulk of Thai society thinks of people like you.

... From your posts it's clear you mix only with the dregs of Thai society....

What an outrageous remark to make!

I'll have you know a447 enjoys mixing with the dregs of any society.

:wav:

[joe552]

Yes, but it's not all about you SG :occasion9:

[a447]

Oh, Sooty! You just can't help yourself, can you! Silly old man!


I spent some time with a nice Thai middle class boy last trip and he was openly contemptuous of the whole "brown skin" category of Thais

What? You consorted with a guy who racially discriminates against people of different colour??? And you describe him as "nice?"

Now, I think he should be considered amongst the "dregs of Thai society. And you still spent some time with him? Didn't you explain to him that such discrimination is unacceptable? Or were you scared you wouldn't get any sex? (I know, I know. It wasn't about sex, it was about stimulating conversation....lol)

For a black man who comes from a society where coloured people were (still are??) discriminated against (the source of your bitterness??), your prejudice and your willing acceptance of the "middle class boy's" attitude towards "brown-skin" people is breathtaking in its hypocrisy.

As for the stupid "dregs" barb, get a grip, Sooty. I presume you are referring to the bar boys I take back to the hotel and fuck. Am I right?
Well if I am, all I can say is that the guys in the bars have a lot more personality, humour, common sense and manners than you ever display in your posts. Despite their tough life,there is no sign of the bitterness or nastiness apparent in your personality. And if they are the "dregs", what the fuck are you?? I didn't think you could go any lower. lol.

Many (most?) on this board, including yourself, associate with bar boys - the apparent dregs of Thai society in your prejudiced eyes. (Or are you a member of this board so you can get info about the temples?)

So the only logical conclusion is that the bulk of Thai society thinks the same about you as well. :sign5:

Quiz question for Sooty- which of the following statements is true:

A. All Thai women married to farang are ex-prostitues
B. All Black men smell, have big cocks and are good dancers.

Too hard? OK, I'll tell you the answer. Neither is correct.


Scottish-guy wrote:
I'll have you know a447 enjoys mixing with the dregs of any society.

Actually, you may be right Scotty. lol

I enjoy mixing with nice, friendly people - their background doesn't bother me in the least. I wouldn't dream of labelling people "middle class" or "dregs" or anything in between.

Then again, maybe Simple Sooty was referring to members of this board I associate with and not the bar boys...haha.

Neal, NIrish, Anonone - come on, defend yourselves from Sooty's outrageous slur!

[Neal]

All one has to do it consider it's source.

I dont have anything to defend, if the charge is "associating with the dregs of society" ( in some peoples opinion) then I'm guilty as charged - and wouldn 't have it any otherway as I've met some lovely "dregs" over the years in my life and generally tend to find them more honest, loyal, trustworthy and FUN than most of the Hi So people who believe they are in a postion to judge others.

But as Soooty has talked about bring boys back to his room in Bangkok etc in the past I, like you, can only assume that he is of course grouping himself in with the rest of us reprobates anyway so I really can't get too excited or offended by his comments, especially as I rarely take anything that Sooty or Brisbane Guy ever say under my notice anyway as it's all usually bitching or moaning about something or someone so I tend to just let them both get on with it if that's what floats their boat - "up to them" - each to their own and all that, just not my idea of fun which i always thought that was the general reason "most of us" anyway were all here.

[colmx]

a nice Thai middle class boy last trip and he was openly contemptuous of the whole "brown skin" category of Thais
Most of the contempt i have observed from middle class guys is because the Brown boys are being chased by the farang and the whiter/rich boys are being ignored!

[Sooty]

I suggest people need to re-read Neal's original post in this thread which, in summary, asked "what do we as guests in their country do that would offend our Thai hosts?"

My comment about a447 was solely within that context - that as a447 only associates with the dregs of Thai society he wouldn't know and clearly doesn't care. Whether the dregs are more fun is neither here nor there based on what Neal asked us to write about.

[anonone]

Scottish-guy wrote:
I'll have you know a447 enjoys mixing with the dregs of any society.

Actually, you may be right Scotty. lol

I enjoy mixing with nice, friendly people - their background doesn't bother me in the least. I wouldn't dream of labelling people "middle class" or "dregs" or anything in between.

Then again, maybe Simple Sooty was referring to members of this board I associate with and not the bar boys...haha.

Neal, NIrish, Anonone - come on, defend yourselves from Sooty's outrageous slur!

Hmmm...Snooty seems to label as dregs young Thai men and women from a poor background who have a deep sense of family and go to great lengths to earn money to support themselves and their parents, using whatever limited resources they have available. HiSo seems to refer to Thai's of social standing, who I see repeatedly in media stories as the perpetrators of numerous social crimes, including corruption, murder, and even trafficking in fellow human beings...despite being lucky enough to come from families of means.

I have no doubt in my mind to which group I want to be associated with.

[RichLB]

Getting back to the original topic, just in case anyone remembers, there are some additiontial things which denote disrespect. Although this seems less predominate in Pattaya, we all know that touching a Thai on the head is a no no. I know, I see it all the time, but it is still considered not only disrespect ful, but violates some (most?) Thais belief that it breaks the bond between them and their personal spirit. Also, this in not really about disrespect, but an adult should not initiate waing a child. If the child wais the adult, one may or may not return the wai. To Thais, its very important that when talking to another Thai they are referred to properly as Nong (if they are obviously younger or of lower status), Pee (if they are of similar age or equal tatuis) or Pa (if they are older or of elevated status). It seems silly to me, but I've had some Thai friends who have broken off relationships when the other shooses the wrong term. Of course, Khun is always acceptable unless talking to the King or a monk. Hmm, I'm trying to think of others. Oh yeah - toothpicks. Thais view the use of toothpicks in public as very impolite - even if covering the mouth. Well, that's enough for now. Let's see if this gets us back on topic.

[a447]

Sooty wrote:
I suggest people need to re-read Neal's original post in this thread which, in summary, asked "what do we as guests in their country do that would offend our Thai hosts?"
Then I suggest you also go back and read it again, as you have missed Neal's main point.
His question refers to what WE do that would offend Thai hosts, not the type of people who THAI's disrespect; viz. the following categories mentioned by YOU:

1. Thai women who marry farang, as they are all - each and every one of them - ex-prostitutes.
2. Bar boys and gogo dancers who we take back to the hotel to have sex with
3. Thai's who have "brown skin"

Your assertions may well be true, but you have got the original question posted by Neal arse about. So please don't suggest we got the intent of Neals' question wrong. It is YOU who got it wrong.


My comment about a447 was solely within that context - that as a447 only associates with the dregs of Thai society ...

As mentioned above, your comment relating to me is totally OUT of context and does not relate to the question posed by Neal. If you honestly wanted to make the (irrelevant) point that Thais disrespect guys who associate with gogo boys, then you could have used YOURSELF as the example and not mention me. You put it in your post as you just can't help adding a little dig.

You don't know who I associate with when I'm in LOS. You have no possible way of knowing. I only post about my sexual exploits which inevitably involve your so called "dregs." I try to associate with them as much as possible....lol.
You do not know what I do during the day. One thing I certainly don't do is take a boy around with me. He leaves the hotel after sex and I spend the day doing other things. But I can assure you I probably spent more time with my dentist in Bangkok the other day than you spent with your "middle class boy last trip" :sign5:


he wouldn't know and clearly doesn't care.

Don't get what I wouldn't know and "clearly" don't care about. I have spent most of my childhood and ALL of my working life in an Asian/Buddhist country so I have a much better understanding of, and care a lot more about, cultural issues relating to LOS than someone like you who pops into town every now and then to fuck the "dregs" of Thai society.

And let me tell you, they would certainly disrespect a hypocrite such as yourself. And one who associates with racists, such as yourself. And one who denigrates whole sections of their population, such as yourself.


Getting back to the original topic, just in case anyone remembers

Yes Richlb, I am also aware of the head touching taboo. I have discussed this many times with Thais and, by and large, they say it doesn't really matter, so maybe it's just the older people who find this offensive. This taboo has always intrigued me, as I have often seen Thais patting kids on the head. Maybe someone living in LOS can clarify the situation.

Your info regarding the wai is also what I have experienced. I have also discussed this with lots of people and the overwhelming consensus I get is that farang look stupid doing it, especially when wai-ing a gogo boy. The etiquette relating to the wai seems akin to the bowing etiquette in Japan. It's not as easy as it looks. Again, can someone living in LOS please clarify?

I have never asked anyone about terms of address. However, on my last trip I asked about the use of "krup" and, as predicted, it turned out to be more complicated than expected. Sometimes you do, sometimes you don't. Apparently, it depends. Depends on what?? So I just add it anyhow so as not to offend anyone.

I believe there is a taboo associated with the feet. I don't think you can point them towards anyone. This must stem from Buddhism, as in Japan you can not open and close doors with your feet, or use your feet for anything other than walking.

[Neal]

Yes, pointing the bottom of your feet for them to see, joking around and booting them in the tush, anything with the feet.

[RichLB]

As to the feet, it even extends to pointing to something on the ground with the feet or, shudder, moving something aside with your feet.

[francois]

As to the feet, it even extends to pointing to something on the ground with the feet or, shudder, moving something aside with your feet.

The worst of all no,no is to use your foot to move aside a Thai coin! I did this once when I dropped some coins to the floor and my bf warned me of the consequences if done in public. I always did wonder if folding a Baht note and placing it , other than in the hand of a go-go boy, would be also disrespectful? Although they put the money in their socks.

[Neal]

I believe I read somewhere a long time ago that a boy did not like a falang he was with and told a policeman or someone that the falang had Thai paper money in a pouch in the front area of his bathing suit next to wiliie wonker and was arrested or detained. I am not sure of the exact details or what part is he said, then he said, then he said. :dontknow:

[Dodger]

Other Thai Forms of Disrespect

One of the key components of Buddhism is "right speaking" and openly speaking badly about another person is considered disrespectful in Thai culture (Hi-So to Low-So). If you've ever tested this (I know I have slipped and done it) you will find that the Thai you are speaking to will usually look down at the ground in an effort to dis-align himself from the negative things you are saying about another person regardless if he shares your feelings about the person you are speaking badly about or not. "Bad Speak" = "Bad Karma".

Another common form of disrespect that I witness continuously in Pattaya is when a farang takes a Thai boy along with him to a bar, restaurant, or any other social setting and then spends all his time in conversation with his other farang friends totally ignoring the boy as if he doesn't exist. This is considered disrespectful in any culture - but even more so in Thai culture as "right actions" is yet another important factor in Buddhism. Just think about the times you have been in a setting with all Thai boys and no other farang around. They (the Thais) will always want to bring you good feelings. "Wrong Actions" = "Bad Karma"..."Good Feelings" = "Good Karma".

Pointing your finger directly at a person is considerd disrespectful in Thai culture. They (the Thais) feel that you (the person pointing the finger) are not acknowledging to potential for the person you are pointing at to feel embaressed (or singled-out) which, here I go again, is yet another display of "bad actions" (bad karma).

It's all about Karma.

[cdnmatt]

Another quick one that's not mentioned often and isn't overly important, when handing money to someone, King's face up. If you're playing hi-lo or cards, when you put your money down to bet, King's face up. If you end up playing in a village, and end up putting your money on the board with the king's face down, everyone will freak out on you. Not freak out, but get all flabbergasted, and quickly flip the money over so the king's face up.

Oh, and if someone offers you something, try not to refuse too often. They're do it for themselves just as much as for you, so refusing to accept their gift / help is somewhat of a slap in the face for them.

[colmx]

Don't step over sleeping dogs on the pavement/road...
step around them

[ceejay]

A couple of things I have picked up over the years:
Eating in restaurants. If you are sharing a dish in a European restaurant, chances are each of you will take his "share" from it all at once. Thai see that as greedy, trying to hoard food so that others can't get it. You should only take a spoonful at a time from shared dishes.
Laundry. I bet we've all done this. I had read somewhere that it was ill mannered to take underwear and socks to the laundry, rather than washing them yourself by hand. I checked this out with a Thai friend recently and he said that not only is it bad manners, he thought it would be "weird" - something akin to being a flasher in the park. I guess we've all sent our knickers to the laundry sometime - it's just seen as one of those strange and unsavoury habits that farang have.

[Jellybean]

Laundry. I bet we've all done this. I had read somewhere that it was ill mannered to take underwear and socks to the laundry, rather than washing them yourself by hand. I checked this out with a Thai friend recently and he said that not only is it bad manners, he thought it would be "weird" - something akin to being a flasher in the park. I guess we've all sent our knickers to the laundry sometime - it's just seen as one of those strange and unsavoury habits that farang have.

Hmm . . . never heard of the laundry point before ceejay. I wonder if it is more of an issue in provincial laundries where they have little experience of dealing with laundry from fa-rang?

I would imagine that any hotel laundry list, which youтАЩll find in a hotel bedroom, will include a tick box for items of underwear. But the thought of washing someone elseтАЩs underwear gives me the willies and I can see why this тАШunsavoury habitтАЩ as you put it might be frowned upon.

Another issue of respect which hasnтАЩt been mentioned so far is standing for the Thai national anthem.

As most members already know the Thai national anthem is played on the radio and television at 8.00am and 6.00pm every day. Occasionally I have found myself at a Thai airport or even a Sky Train station in Bangkok at one of those two times when the national anthem is played on the television.

At the airport Thai people will stand up if sitting or stop moving and remain still until the anthem is finished. I have always followed suit and done exactly as the Thai people are doing and, from my casual observation, most foreigners do the same. Although there are some foreigners who remain seated or carry on walking despite the fact that nearly everyone else, including other foreigners, are standing. Again you can tell from looking at the reaction of the surrounding Thai people that they are not happy at what, I suppose, they judge as disrespect. When IтАЩve stood during the duration of the anthem Thai people have smiled or nodded at me as, I guess, a sign of appreciation.

[ceejay]

You're absolutely right about the National Anthem, Jellybean. I was recently in Arcade bus station in Chiang Mai at 8 in the morning. You're warned by an electronic clock chiming 8 over the PA system, then the National Anthem follows. Everyone stands.
The music they play before a showing in a cinema is, I believe, not the National Anthem but the King's personal anthem, usually accompanied by a short film of clips of the King's life. I have seen farang who did not stand for that very pointedly gestured to their feet by Thais. If a Thai does something as confrontational as that then, if you have any sense at all, you know it is time to conform.

[Dodger]

colmx wrote:

Don't step over sleeping dogs on the pavement/road...
step around them

Agree...unless you want the dam thing to wake up and bite your balls...555