Thailovelinks

Hi guys,

I'm relocating to BKK later this year and have been hanging out in thailovelinks for several months meeting and chatting with potential partners. I specifically state in my profile that I'm only interested in long-term relationship/marriage. I'm 59 years old and state that I'm looking for a partner between 30-40.

Thailovelinks being what it is, I ignore or swat away 3/4 of those who express interest (not attractive, they have nothing to say, they clearly are just looking for money). I'm not naive, and I understand Thailand very well. There is one thing though that does confuse me: the fellows between 24 and 30 that express interest who are educated, working in professional settings, speak fairly good English, can engage in interesting conversation, don't post shirtless pics, don't inquire how much money i make or will i rent or buy when i arrive, and are very very attractive. What am I to make of these model young men who are expressing interest in settling with a man twice their age? I'm in good shape, attractive face, and well-educated, but I'm finding it difficult to believe these things are enough for them to be interested in someone old enough to be their father. I'm interested in hearing your thoughts. Again, I'm far from naive and I don't rush into anything...just looking to hear other's insights and experience with younger professional men. Thanks.

In the west people are obesessd with age and image, but i believe in countries these things are not as important
sure some boys would think like boys in the west but i think there are enough guys that like people who dont see age or image a problem..to them we might seem more atractive than we see ourselves..it takes all sorts as they say

[a447]

i think there are enough guys that like people who dont see age or image a problem..to them we might seem more atractive than we see ourselves.

Mmm...wishful thinking? Our money makes us look more attractive.

[Patexpat]

i think there are enough guys that like people who dont see age or image a problem..to them we might seem more atractive than we see ourselves.

Mmm...wishful thinking? Our money makes us look more attractive.

It is sad your self esteem is so low .... I thought you knew Thailand better than that!

No its not wishfull thinking.....no 2 people are the same....its the same anywhere in the world ..some good ..some not so good
you cant tell me all your friends think exatly the same....and anyway why do we think farangs are goody two shoes and all Thais
have bad motives.....then why bother with them if thier so bad ?

[a447]

It is sad your self esteem is so low ....

:sign5:

You have no idea about my self esteem, be it high or low.

I am simply a realist. I do not believe in trying to delude myself. I live in the real world.
There are lots of farang fantasies about Thai guys - everyone is available for gay sex, they get it off together in the army, they don't find older (and often out of shape) farangs any less desirable than a young, fit Thai (or Russian!) guy, etc, etc.
And that's not wishful thinking?
There is always one way to find out with a bar boy or "boyfriend" - withdraw the money and see what happens. Many would run a mile to find the next walking ATM.


I thought you knew Thailand better than that!

I do. That's why I made that post.


anyway why do we think farangs are goody two shoes and all Thais have bad motives.....

Who is the "we" you refer to?? I certainly don't feel that way and my previous posts over the years reflect that fact.

I think a lot of people are hypocrits cause if they were poor they would do the same as them
i'd much rather trust some of the boys in Thai i know than some of the dodgy people i know back in the uk
it is not a fantasy to think some guys are good ..you cant tar everyone with the same brush.
i'm a promoter of live music and when i started doing it people used to say all promoters rip you off..but i was never like that and i proved to people i was diiferent....so same thing ..some Thai guys are honnest and some are not

[bruce_nyc]

There are all different types of people - good, bad, and otherwise - in every culture and place on Earth.

We also never know for sure what we would do in the same position. Talk is cheap.

If I were a poor Thai boy with a decent body, I would be a moneyboy in a heartbeat. But I would also have a serious plan to work my way up the financial ladder. Never fault anyone for ambition, as long as they are fair and honest along the way.

At the same time, don't delude yourself. It's always about money.... to some extent. Even if both people are white Americans with gym bodies and earn exactly the same incomes.... It's Always about money.... to some extent.

Money is by far the number one issue that breaks up marriages/relationships.

The only question is.... How Much of an issue is money? And..... How long before all the hidden partial motives show their heads?

[Patexpat]

I do. That's why I made that post.

Sorry but you patently don't. May be of the commercial sex scene, but certainly NOT of the wider social scene.

Take myself as an example, I know 4 Thai athletic/muscular handsome young men (NOT boys) who are genuine friends of mine, love to have sex as they prefer the older guy and the only money to change hands depends upon who is paying for dinner!

Oh .. one drives a Honda Accord and has a Mitsubishi pickup and has his own business, One owns three mobile phone shops, one is a model who has modelled internationally (no, NOT porn) and one has a modest job as a bartender in a hotel.

Ok I'm lucky in so far as I live here and run a business which makes long term 'real' friendships easier, but for you to make crass comments about ALL guys only being interested in money simply isn't true and indeed I find deeply insulting - although of course I would be stupid not to recognise that there is truth in what you say. But to reiterate, don't tar all Thais with the same brush simply because of your personal experiences, as it obviously isn't as experienced as you think!

[christianpfc]

What am I to make of these model young men who are expressing interest in settling with a man twice their age? I'm in good shape, attractive face, and well-educated, but I'm finding it difficult to believe these things are enough for them to be interested in someone old enough to be their father.

The wonders of Thailand!

I never heard of Thailovelinks being used for gay dating, I thought it was big for Thai girls looking for men. My I ask you how you came to choose Thailovelinks for looking for a partner? My first choice would be gayromeo or camfrog.

[Dodger]

Jase,

As several people here have mentioned already, no two people are the same, and one would assume that this applies to Thais as well as us farang. That being said, you could probably assume that some of the responses you're getting on that match site are coming from genuine guys with genuine motives - and some are just chasing the dollar. I don't think it's possible to determine this from "words" tapped on a keyboard. You will just have to sample the waters, be patient, allow enough time to identify with the person - and enough time for him to idenify you.

There are plenty of Thai guys in the age bracket you're interested in who would love to hook up with a physically fit, attractive, and financially stable farang such as yourself - so don't let the naysayers steer your boat. The opinion that $$money$$ is the only motivating factor behind a Thais desire to have a relationship with an older farang is commonly held by those who have either been burnt in a prior relationship (or multiple relationships) or possibly those cranky old beer-bellied grandpa's who think the 18 y/o boy's they hang around with should have motives other than money.

Life is an adventure...don't allow one single person to convince you that it's not...and enjoy living it to the max.

That's the impression I've gotten from these younger men. Its surprising...25-30 year olds interested in older men is far outside the norm of western culture. Although I state in my profile that I'm looking for 30-40, I'm finding that the 25-30 year olds have better English skills, a broader sense of the world, and are more relationship-oriented and inclined toward marriage. I attribute this to the fact that younger men have had earlier and more Internet exposure to western culture where marriage is increasingly becoming an option or at least a goal for gay people.

Its for both het and homo seeking relationship. Its not a hookup site. It's much more relationship-oriented and less overtly sexual than gayromeo. Profiles are g-rated...more like match.com. Hence, it attracts a different sort of user than typical gay sites.

Re: the naysayers...I'm reminded of this quote:

"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are.". - Anais Nin

[a447]

I do. That's why I made that post.


Sorry but you patently don't. May be of the commercial sex scene, but certainly NOT of the wider social scene.

Well Patepax, I was obviously speaking about the commercial sex scene, as I have never posted about the non-commercial scene in all the years I have been on this board. I do not live in LOS so have no chance to meet other guys who are not after money. I have never indicated in any of my posts that I have an understanding of the "wider social scene" - I have no understanding of that scene at all. I was referrring to the boys who work in the scene I happen to know well - the sex for money scene. As I stated on another thread, I am a sex tourist.


Take myself as an example, I know 4 Thai athletic/muscular handsome young men (NOT boys) who are genuine friends of mine, love to have sex as they prefer the older guy and the only money to change hands depends upon who is paying for dinner!

Yes, I have no reason to doubt that.


but for you to make crass comments about ALL guys only being interested in money simply isn't true and indeed I find deeply insulting -

See above re: commercial sex scene.


don't tar all Thais with the same brush simply because of your personal experiences, as it obviously isn't as experienced as you think!

I didn't tar them all with the same brush. As for personal experiences, as I said above, I have none, and I don't paste about things in LOS I have not experienced.



]If I were a poor Thai boy with a decent body, I would be a moneyboy in a heartbeat.

I think I would be, too.

There are lots of farang fantasies about Thai guys .............they get it off together in the army

Damn, you mean they DON'T !! :-( Bugger, well there's another one of my fantasies down the pan :-( lol

Actually not wanting to perpetuate the myth or anything but I have actually spoken to several Thai guys who have confirmed to me that that may indeed be the case, although worryingly they've described everything from enjoyable sex with other guys, through to helping a few of their mates out in the showers at difference times by choice through to stuff which basically came close to group rape once their fellow workmates discovered they were gay - although each time what I was told usually happened there once the senior officer found out the boy was gay was that he was moved to separate quarters and giving different "light" duties, perhaps looking after either that officers kit and of doing Admin etc - and a few told me that the officer then might make some "requests" of his own occassionally, but only as a request and not an order mind - and they were happy to oblige.

No doubt several people will tell me this is all hear say and just as I've already said a perpetuation of "the myth", but I have been told this same story by several different (gay) guys many times over the years, so whether to believe it or not is I guess up to each of ourselves personally.

.. once the senior officer found out the boy was gay ...he was..given different "light" duties, perhaps looking after either that officers kit and of doing Admin etc - and a few told me that the officer then might make some "requests" of his own occassionally, but only as a request and not an order mind - and they were happy to oblige....

Are you not getting mixed up with the Boy Scouts dear?

:evil4:

[Dodger]

I'm finding that the 25-30 year olds have better English skills, a broader sense of the world, and are more relationship-oriented and inclined toward marriage

I think you're right.

Similar to western culture 25 is about the age where young peopler start thinking a little more seriously about the future and those one-night-stands start to lose their luster. Regardless if a Thai gay boy was on the working scene or not they also start drifing towards this stage at around 25 y/o. A reality the working boys are faced with is the fact that the majority of farang punters prefer the younger 18-25 year olds and planning for their futures is perpetuated by a growing sense of desperation.

As far as speaking better English and becoming more intellectual via the internet, hell...I still prefer the raw natives who can't speak a word of English and still think that airplanes are UFO's.

[anonone]

There are lots of farang fantasies about Thai guys .............they get it off together in the army

Damn, you mean they DON'T !! :-( Bugger, well there's another one of my fantasies down the pan :-( lol

... usually happened there once the senior officer found out the boy was gay was that he was moved to separate quarters ... that the officer then might make some "requests" of his own occassionally, but only as a request and not an order mind - and they were happy to oblige.



Thanks Nirish...I now have this for a fantasy....

Can you picture me in a Thai officer uniform...

:laughing3:

[bruce_nyc]

Sorry to disappoint. Nirish just told the entire plot of one of the movies in his extensive porn collection.