Tell Us Your Funny Thai Stories

[Neal]

OK I will start mine off with an shorter version.
Sent B in Big C and said we need a lot of 30x40 plastic bags for the bar. He emerges after 40 minutes with two small rolls. Driving to the beach I see a Tesco Lotus Express store. I pull off and said I need a lot of bags 30 x 40. He comes out...mei me. We drive away. I mutter, I can't believe they did not have plastic garbage bags, to which he replies, No had green, only black. :dontknow:

Tell us your great Thai stories and I will try and remember some more.

[bruce_nyc]

Everyone knows black trash bags aren't as good as green ones. ;-)

I thought you were gonna say he came out with a 40-pack box of condoms.

Here in NYC, that story would actually make sense. There are different color (or clear transparent) bags required for each type of recycling, and it's mandatory.

[cdnmatt]

One I'll never forget is my first birthday up here in KK. Traditionally, in the West the cake will come out, everyone sings happy birthday, you patiently wait for everyone to stop singing, and then blow out the candles. In Thailand, it works a little different. Here they will continue singing happy birthday while clapping their hands over and over, UNTIL you blow out the candles. And each iteration of the song has to be quicker than the last.

I didn't know this at the time. So there's about 15 people around, cake comes out with candles lit, everyone starts singing, and there's me being polite, patiently waiting for them to finish so I can blow out the candles. They never stop though. They just keep singing the song over and over, each time clapping & singing faster and faster. I'm just sitting there, waiting for them to stop, without realizing I'm making them sing faster and faster.

After about the 8th iteration of the song, Kim finally nudges me in the side, and tells me to quit being so rude, and blow out the candles. So I do, and everyone breathes a sigh of relief while they try to catch their breath. Ohhhh, so that's how it works in Thailand!

One day out shopping ....i thought i'll buy some flowers for my bf
when i got back to the hotel ....the lads in reception were laughing and did 'nt know why?
when i got up to the room my bf started laughing too ?
then he let me know...i'd bought the purple ones you give to the monks ha ha

Aw that's so sweet that you buy your BF flowers just for no reason ( I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here and assuming they weren't as part of some peace offering gift after you committing some terrible boyfriend indiscretion lol) but assuming not then that's so sweet and made my heart flutter a little bit just at the thought of it .....now that I think of it I "almost" got flowers from a Thai guy i was with, but they were the ones Thai people sell when youre stopped at traffic lights for 20 baht ( which he got the money for from me of course) he then handed me then and i politely smiled and said thank you, to which he looked at me dispairingly and said "no, they for hanging up in car for good luck and my safety as with your driving I think we need them!" - who said romance is dead eh ! :-)

Thanks no i was'nt in his bad books ...ha ha ...i just did it on impulse....cause i love him so much.....he sometimes does the same for me....with his own money too! ha ha :love7:

wow he buys you flowers AND from his own money ! he certainly sounds like a keeper !! lol

Last night I had my BF of the moment in stitches as I pretended to fall off my bar stool in shock when he paid for a plate of 20 baht peanuts for me from one of the passing street hawkers, I told him I thought it was the first time he has every treated ME to a meal out and I even though we were both laughing about it it wasn't too far wrong !! :-) ..... although I can't complain as he actually went out and bought me TWO tee shorts of his own doing the other way and one of them even fitted me ! :-)

In my late 30's.... I gave a lift to two Thai friends, and they dragged a third guy along that I didn't know. One of my friends asked the new guy how old he thought I was. He studied me for a few minutes and then said: "About 70", Guess who got to walk :bis:

[RichLB]

Gosh, there are so many funny stories after living here so long. One of my favorites concerns my bf's father. We were visiting the village and I discovered his father was virtually blind. I insisted we go to an eye doctor and we discovered all he needed was glasses. When they were done, his smile and shock was super heart warming.

Well, a year later when we were in the village, I happened upon the bf's father sobbimg quietly. I asked him what the problem was and he answered that he had lost his glasses in the little lake he liked to fish in. I assured him it was not a problem and we would just get a new pair. That did not console him and he finally explained that one of his greatest pleasures was fishing and now he would never catch another fish because his glasses were in the lake and the fish would be able to see the hook.

He didn't believe any of my explanations until I reminded him that fish don't have noses and therefore couldn't wear the glasses.

Now that was funny :evil4:

Then there was the guy who said "You Bitch" to a katoey. She smiled and said "Thanks, yes I am a bitch."
Beautiful
Intelligent
Talented
Charming
wHole Lot of Woman

[Neal]

Years ago, the first time I had purchased a car and drove in Pattaya, my boys were very concerned that I was going to drive as I always used one of the boys to drive but he had just gone on the go karts and was sick. I said I would drive. I mean I have been driving 40 some odd years right. One small technicality. I always drove on the opposite side of the road and I had never driven alongside these non conforming idiots. Between Jomtien Beach and Ambiance I grazed two different motorbikes who just waved me on like a stupid falang behind the wheel (yes I was lucky). at the point of the overpass the boys asked if I would pull over so that they could take a songtaew! The nerve! LOL!

[ceejay]

My second visit to Thailand I had booked a pickup from the airport. I met the driver, a lady, at the pickup point and we went through into the car park.
Before she opened the boot for my luggage she turned, looked at me and asked "You English?"

"Yes" I replied "I am English"

Pause...........................................

"Why you no fat then?"

[kittyboy]

I am taking a trip to thailand in a few days. I have been on gayromeo checking out the guys. I recently got a message from a very cute guy. It read "Hello, you want fuck me mr. fat?"

To the point, submissive, deferential yet insulting...I loved it. My friend in the United States and I are still laughing about it.

For the purposes of full disclosure I am a full figured man of Edwardian stature..... also known as corpulent.

Well. I haven't had any knock backs for sex in Thailand (can't think why :evil4: ) but I have had a lad in the UK say to me that he "would rather have sex with Mr Bean"

And a friend who is probably more corpulent than Kitty, once got a response of "Fuck off, you fat bastard" (different boy I hasten to add)

No wonder we go to Thailand.

:sign5:

OK it's off-topic, so what.