So what constitutes a friend?

[Khor tose]

Hmmmm, why not keep it simple and start with defining a friend. To me a friend is someone you care about who cares about you. Someone who tells you when you are wrong and supports you when you are right, etc. etc. Add living together and sex and you have a boyfriend. I don't believe the sex has to be monogamous, but that is up to the two people to decide. I have been with my BF for three years now and do to our age difference I offered him an open relationship. Surprise he wanted monogamy and so far it has worked out well for us, but each to his own.

A copy from topic "So what constitutes a boyfriend?" at advice/request from DaBoss. Thanks Daboss, missed this topic.
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The word boyfriend should explain it all already.

boy FRIEND, therefore he has to first be a friend. A friend is someone you can trust 100% in all matters, incl. your bank account, bankcards, etc.

A friend is not someone you see regular in the bar as a drinking, chatten or whatever person (Thai or farang). Those persons you call acquaintances, very good or just basic - drinking/sex buddies. Anyone who is honest to himself should say I can count my friends on one hand, since you do not trust your acquaintances 100%

So a boyfriend is someone you trust 100% in ALL MATTERS and also have regular sex with, including the most important part the cuddle.

Guess this means that for us farangs, most, if not all, do NOT have a boyfriend, but just a very good acquaintance we share the bed with unless you have a shared bank account with him on which is all your money.

Of course the above is just a constitutes of the word boyfriend. Someone is your boyfriend whenever you feel like it, same as your drinking buddy you call a friend, because if you call him an acquaintance he might not drink with you anymore.

[francois]

A friend is someone you can trust 100% in all matters, incl. your bank account, bankcards, etc.
.

Really?

"A fool and his money are soon parted". Thomas Tusser 1557

It was true then and true now.

That is why we have the word "acquaintances" :salute:

[Neal]

Well I have always said that a person should be able to count their friends on on hand. I am glad to know someone agrees with me. Aquaintances are easy, People should never throw the word "friend" around as casually as most do.
I feel a friend is someone you know for many many a year and who you would have no hesitation in allowing them to make the decision to pull the plug or not.

[martin911]

In Thailand the use of the word friend is used so damm much !!!!!

Everybody is your friend it seems to Thais

Many time i have asked a thai in my company (lets call him an acquaintance) who is that guy over there???? -- then the answer back in so many cases --"oh he friend me "
So i ask whats his name (not "what name him ") and so many times the answer back is "not know "

Drives me nuts 55555555555555

[Patexpat]

Many years ago I remember being told a Thai proverb about friendship, and whilst I canb't remember the exact wording it was something like 'You have three types of friends, friends that will drink with you, friends that will die with you and friends that will die for you'. Or words to that effect ... may be someone knows the full proverb (hopefully), but I always thought it seemed an accurate definition of friendship.

[francois]

I feel a friend is someone you know for many many a year and who you would have no hesitation in allowing them to make the decision to pull the plug or not.

I agree as long as they don't know how much they will inherit.

[francois]

That is why we have the word "acquaintances" :salute:

No need to shout in colors or is that a scream? I read your use of acquaintances vs friends but do not believe it is wise to trust anyone with one's own fiances especially a Thai boyfriend. Yes I know, he is not a boyfriend unless he has access to your bank account according to you; only an acquaintances. :kap:

[bruce_nyc]

My opinion is: This question is based on a faulty philosophy. A philosophy of labels.

I don't believe in labelling people ( or as seldom as possible ).

The logical problem with labels is actually illustrated well in this thread.

You say we are "friends". But YOUR definition of "friends" is drastically different than mine. Now we have set ourselves up for some grand misunderstandings or worse.

You say "We are boyfriends". But YOUR definition of that label is 180 degrees different from mine. Look out.... Rough seas ahead!

I try my best NOT to use labels at all.

[christianpfc]

I largely agree with ronthai, except for sharing your money.

Boyfriend/Girfriend is one step before marriage, and if you look about divorce numbers, marriage is not for live! And there are enough stories where one partner a marriage loses most of his fortune to the other (with or without divorce).


"Friend" covers a wide range of relationships, I try to use "aquaintance" when possible. (An aquaintance is someone you know by name and have talked with.)

The few friends I have share a common interest and I would not hesitate letting them stay at my place or stay at their place.

The inflationary use of "friend" is promoted by facebook, most of my Thai friends (rather aquaintances or fuck buddies) have hundreds of "facebook-friends".

I once found the quote below on a profile in Gayromeo, and saved it because I found it interesting.

It's in German, here some translations:

A friend is someone who comes to you, when others leave.

A simple friends behaves like a guest when he visits you, a real friend just opens your fridge.

A simple friend expects you to be there for him, a real friend is there for you.

The large quote that was below was deleted for 2 reasons. One, it does not show where it was quoted from and two it was all in a foreign language which violates Rules and Guidelines to require anything other than a few words to be in English only. Sorry DaBoss

Christian, what is this obsession that Germans seem to have with fridges ?

Or is it just you ?

You have mentioned fridges twice now in the space of a couple of days - and it's more than a little disturbing - do you have a fridge fetish?

I think you should come clean.



:occasion9:

[christianpfc]

I don't have a fridge fetish, but a look into someone's fridge can be quite revealing. Show me your fridge and I tell you who or what you are.

I have been sharing fridges with others for a couple of year, it's a good idea to occupy the uppermost shelf, so nothing can drop onto your food. When you leave for holiday, it's a good idea to put some empty containers into your frigde area, otherwise you might find it occupied when you return.

My parent's fridge is full of useless stuff. When they come back from shopping they start fighting, my father can't put his beer in the fridge because my mother has perishable food that has to go in.

(Maybe Scotty is right: I have more than ten pictures of frigdes, all taken by myself! Unfortunately, I can't find my favorite one from about 2005 one any more. But I never had sex with a fridge!)

[Khor tose]

(Maybe Scotty is right: I have more than ten pictures of frigdes, But I never had sex with a fridge!)
Should that be, "never had sex with a fridge YET?"

A friend is someone who will listen to me boasting about last nights fuck or feel sorry for the one that got away he will also pass on info about boys to avoid thats just for starters he will be someone who knows that life is for laughing so he isnt gonna be a Thai.

.. I never had sex with a fridge!..
Should that be, "never had sex with a fridge YET?"

If he refers to the fridges as"baby" and insists on photographing them with their doors wide open, then I'd say it's only a matter of time.

And if Christian ever invites you to his loom, drops his pants, and shuffles away uttering the immortal words "Pour yourself a drink - I'm just going to slip into something cool", you'll know what the dirty devil is up to.

:occasion9:

A friend is someone who will listen to me boasting about last nights fuck or feel sorry for the one that got away he will also pass on info about boys to avoid thats just for starters he will be someone who knows that life is for laughing so he isnt gonna be a Thai.

This is what I call a drunking drinking buddie/acquantence. :alc:

Also the same reason why I do not go to gay bars so much anymore. Always the same same same stories of what people conquered the day before. :occasion9:

BORING. :sleepy2:

People just do not seem to be able to have a real decent topic of discussion in the bar or most other gay together places. :protest:

This ofcourse also go for the straight bars.

[bkkguy]

I don't have a fridge fetish, but a look into someone's fridge can be quite revealing.

and of course in Thailand cleaning the fridge - р╕ер╣Йр╕▓р╕Зр╕Хр╕╣р╣� �р╣Ар╕вр╣Зр╕Щ - can be a lot of fun as well!

bkkguy

Ha ha Christian you never fail to entertain ;-) I can never quite work out whether you know exactly what you say is so funny or is it that wonderful way the Europeans have of saying something funny without even realising it whilst they look you straight in the face which just cracks one up even more ! :-)

So I guess with this newly outed fridge fetish of yours that basically means you're into cold sex rather than hot sex like the rest of us - so tell me do those big American fridges with the ice dispensers and water coolers make you cum at the mere thought of them or are you most a Puritan where unless it small and white ( racist ?) and has a tiny ice tray that's good for nothing except freezing up it just doesn't do it for you ? Damn either way as I've just described both I guess that means I may have just for your rocks off for you - I'd so that'll be 1000 baht please - actually no make that 1500 bath seeing as it was a fetish thing !!

[Neal]

In America I was always taught that if you had a sexy boy you may want to bend him over and "clean the kitchen". :evil4:

[christianpfc]

People just do not seem to be able to have a real decent topic of discussion in the bar or most other gay together places. :protest:

Music too loud, too many distractions. If you go to gay bars for interesting discussions, you are in the wrong place.


Ha ha Christian you never fail to entertain ;-) I can never quite work out whether you know exactly what you say is so funny or is it that wonderful way the Europeans have of saying something funny without even realising it whilst they look you straight in the face which just cracks one up even more ! :-)

In the majority of cases, the jokes are intended.

Fridge of a Thai friend in Bangkok:

http://i1084.photobucket.com/albums/j412/christianpfc/various%20stuff/DSCN0267.jpg

Who disagrees that this is erotic?

Well, it was all going swimmingly and then I went and spotted the cup sitting there and for me it just killed the eroticism totally - and he's "obviously" a top with a fridge in that state !! Lol

[joe552]

this thread just got really weird :dontknow:

[Neal]

Yup, ok about the kitchen and fridge and now back to what constitutes a friend? How bout that Joe? Butch twice in one day! :occasion9:

[joe552]

great, but it can't last, Neal - you can't fight nature :occasion9:

... you can't fight nature....

Nonsense - I've been unnatural for 40 years.

:occasion9:

... you can't fight nature....

Nonsense - I've been unnatural for 40 years.

:occasion9:What were you for the first fourty?

[DamienZ]

One can always start by defining what a friend is not.
What does not constitute a friend?