So what constitutes a boyfriend?

[joe552]

In the West, my "boyfriend" would be someone I see a few times a week at least - if we're living together, I'd probably say partner. On the forum we use the term boyfriend a lot. I know there are guys on the forum who have long term relationships with guys in Thailand, even though they live in the West. So my question is aimed at them (not guys who live full time in Thailand with a partner). How long/how many trips did it take before you thought of "him" as your boyfriend/partner? Would you and he expect that to be exclusive (i.e. no shagging around)? Or are you happy that he has a sex life while you're not there? I'm genuinely interested in hearing your experiences.

[cameroncat]

I think in a long distance relationship, the term "boyfriend" can be applied to many different situations. Can be an exclusive thing, an exclusive thing only when together, or non-exclusive even when together! Personally, I could care less if he is having some sexual fun while I'm not there, just don't lie to me and hide a second BF at the same time!

[gregvc]

My 47 yr boyfriend has a new job in a 5 star hotel back in BKK. So we are going to be apart for 4 months (I am back home for work). Already missing him after a week apart. We have been togethger for nearly 15 yrs. Early in the relationship we had a month or two apart due to business. I will hopefully be able to do some teaching when I get a few months to return to BKK. I do play around but I never arrange to meet someone or swap tel numbers.

[francois]

How long/how many trips did it take before you thought of "him" as your boyfriend/partner? .

I met my boyfriend on my first visit to Thailand at beginning of 2000. I knew he was the one for me and he for I. Alas, after our brief encounter and my departure he returned to his village to rejoin his beloved parents. Two years later he returned, an orphan, to Pattaya where we reunited and together ever since albeit, long distance. I do spend a total of 4+ months/year in Thailand and intend to make that much longer.

I met my bf on my first visit to pattaya.....at the time i did'nt want a bf..i just wanted to have casual fun as i'd had a relationship in england for 5 years
but when your not looking it sometimes happens you meet somone special
on the 2nd visit we became bf's we get on as friends as well and allways make each other laugh..which i think is important in a relationship.
i go to Thai about 3 times a year...and when i'm there were together 24/7..but never get bored with each other
when were not together we chat online every day...even when he's been working all day on the farm he still goes to the internet cafe to talk to me.
part of the time we go to Pattaya..but most of the time we stay with his family and friends up in nong bua lampoo...
every one in the village knows we are together and i have made so many friends there....i love it there in our case we dont play around cause we have great sex when together..we dont feel we need anymore...so when i not with him..i just have a wank..or has he says ..i just use my hand ha ha

[joe552]

So it seems that frequent regular visits are key to maintaining the relationship? I'm not in a position to afford that, unfortunately. I wish you guys well in your relationships and thanks for your honesty. :notworthy:

Simple answer - 1000 baht ! Lol

[joe552]

ah you're such a romantic soul, NIrish Guy :love4:

[Neal]

I am really not sure if it is in the genes or not. Not sure if it is in the brain programming. I find absolutely stunning boys. Yes, many or all are moneyboys but the type that would take me on as a longtime partner in a heartbeat. I am not being conceeded, I am being truthful. Many moneyboys will quickly give the business up if they have a "whale" as you would call it in Las Vegas terms. Now I "think" a relationship is a wonderful thing but as much as I want it, I cannot help but look constantly and go with other boys.

Yes I will say that when I have a b/f for awhile I do make it clear that I will play BUT the boy will never ever sleep over. That the bed is there for him and I to sleep together and nobody else will be sleeping in that room except us.

So what is it? A chemical inbalance? Do we need a new thred for this?

I actually wouldn't miss the sleeping over part as sometimes the 6am roll over cuddle which turns into something can be hotter than the night before as you are now both much more relaxed with each other and also usually hot ( and horny) from just waking up - and that's not even counting the "once you wake up sex" and that's long after the "not quite awake yet sex" of course :-)

[Neal]

I guess I should also add that when a stranger used to sleep over years ago, I would not get proper sleep because I always had one eye open so to speak.

[joe552]

my original question was more about having a boyfriend (i.e. a long term relationship) but trust NIrish Guy to bring the conversation down to basics :occasion9:

I don't believe there is a "standard" boyfriend relationship - as long as both parties are satisfied, that's what matters. I was merely curious about what other members think.

[Neal]

ohhhhh well, just slap me! No more free wine for you! :occasion9:

[joe552]

DaBoss, if your last comment was directed at me, may I remind you I never GOT any free wine when I was in your bar - which is why I said NIrish Guy could have mine when he visits, but now that he's reduced this thread to a base level, I'm reconsidering that. :occasion9:

[christianpfc]

(I never had a boyfriend, so I am not qualified to answer your question.)

My personal definition of "boyfriend" is someone you live with (in the same house / condo / appartment, but not out of necessity like a roommate) and share a bed and a fridge with (and of course have sex with).

Yeah, boyfriend = a double bed and a fridge!

[joe552]

christian, when I asked the original question I honestly didn't think a definition of a boyfriend was someone you share a bed and a FRIDGE with. I live and learn. :dontknow:

[blazer]

A boyfriend is whatever you decide it to be. There is really not a set definition.

It might be someone you have known and had a relationship with for years. It might be your lifelong partner.

It might be someone you met yesterday and really have taken a liking to, and want to continue that relationship.

Or you might have thought to yourself about the guy you saw or met a few minutes ago, "OMG, I wish he was my boyfriend"

It is a good question, one to think about. We are all stripes. Inclusiveness is better than exclusiveness.

And joe you must be living a very sheltered life if you thought my 1000 baht was bringing things down to base level as I can assure that whilst it was meant in jest that same 1000 baht I discussed has indeed gained me all the benefits and accolades ( both welcome and unwelcome) after a night out with a Thai guy where either through miscommunication or them trying to make something out nothing I have been introduced ( many times) as their "boyfriend" - and for many reasons such as then wanting to gain face with friends they haven't seen in a whole etc and as long as I don't know the guys I'm quite happily to play along with their ruse as I usually reap the benefits of being such an understanding guy later :-) so rather than bringing things down to a "base" level my comment whilst tongue in cheek is actually as valid as all others - so there
! :-)

[Manforallseasons]

If your speaking about a Thai boyfriend 20,000-30,000 a month plus incidentals (never underestimate the cost of those incidentals) would constitute a boyfriend! Of course somewhat less if he is an orphan!
If it is a long distance relationship it should also be less as you would probably be one of a few patrons.
Now if he is well into his 30's you will be his career.

The word boyfriend should explain it all already.

boy FRIEND, therefore he has to first be a friend. A friend is someone you can trust 100% in all matters, incl. your bank account, bankcards, etc.

A friend is not someone you see regular in the bar as a drinking, chatten or whatever person (Thai or farang). Those persons you call acquaintances, very good or just basic - drinking/sex buddies. Anyone who is honest to himself should say I can count my friends on one hand, since you do not trust your acquaintances 100%

So a boyfriend is someone you trust 100% in ALL MATTERS and also have regular sex with, including the most important part the cuddle.

Guess this means that for us farangs, most, if not all, do NOT have a boyfriend, but just a very good acquaintance we share the bed with unless you have a shared bank account with him on which is all your money.

Of course the above is just a constitutes of the word boyfriend. Someone is your boyfriend whenever you feel like it, same as your drinking buddy you call a friend, because if you call him an acquaintance he might not drink with you anymore.

[christianpfc]

Finally, the Thai idea of "boyfriend" differs vastly from my/our definition.

I sometimes get ask if I want to be someones' boyfriend - after chatting five minutes on camfrog, without ever meeting in real life!

..I sometimes get ask if I want to be someones' boyfriend - after chatting five minutes on camfrog...

Chatting about your fridge by any chance?


:party

[martin911]

In Thailand a boyfriend is whomever you choose !!!!! --and not have to pay any attention to what others may think !!!!