Was moving to Thailand a dream come true?

[bucknaway]

Some of you have moved to Thailand after visiting many times. Can you tell us if it was everything you hoped it would be or do you miss the longing anticipation of you holidays? Now that you lay down to go to sleep knowing that your every waking day will be in Thailand for as long as you desire, has your hopes and dreams been realized or have they changed? Do you think about moving back or to someplace other than Thailand to spend your leisure years?

How about your views on us vacationers on holiday? Now that you see us constantly coming and going and influencing the guys with disposable cash we horded over a year, has our careless spending and corrupting the values of the guys 30 days at a time only to jump on our flights and flee back home leaving you and other new arrivals to reap what we have sown as related to the expectations of the guys and vendors in the tourist sector, has our behavior changed your views on the 30 day holiday visitor?

Is there something that you can share with us that you did not expect when you relocated to the land of smiles? Is there something that you "DID" expect to happen but never materialized?

great post ! ....looking forward to some of the replies, although I should like to state for the record that I have never corrupted any cute Thai guys values, in fact it's more like exactly other way around perhaps - and thank goodness for that very corruption as it's given me some holidays I'll not forget in a hurry !! ha ha

[Manforallseasons]

I've lived in Pattaya for 11 years I am often in the bars, there are not many black men that are frequent visitors here yet I have never seen you anywhere, your writing style is similar to one who loves the beach. :hello2:

[bucknaway]

Well I don't know what your point is as related to the topic but if you want to get to know me, send a PM, I will be happy to talk to you and if we both get along than maybe we can share a drink or two when I visit in October.

But if you simply want to know if I am Beachlover the answer is no. I'm not.

So you lived in Pattaya for 11 years? Wow! I bet you have a story or two to share! I know I for one would like to read your input on this topic.

[fountainhall]

No, it wasn't a dream come true. I guess I had already lived that dream. IтАЩd visited Thailand several times a year since moving to Hong Kong in 1979. I took holidays here, long week-ends here had work here, got to know quite a wide variety of people тАУ and of course the bars, saunas and other gay establishments.

I moved here 10 years ago, mainly for economic reasons. Since I still work and have to travel quite a lot, I need to be near BKK. I chose Bangkok over Pattaya because I like bigger cities and I find I enjoy Pattaya only for a few days a year. I could not live there.

I donтАЩt think of moving anywhere. After 33 years, Asia is in my blood. Only if I am struck down by some chronic illness that requires long-term specialist care would I consider moving back to the UK.

The only difference I notice is that I do much more than visit bars etc. In fact, I visit them far less frequently than before. I enjoy what Bangkok can offer in the way of concerts, exhibitions, nice restaurants, great weather when I can spend hours by the pool etc.

Tourists may do as they wish, as far as I am concerned. I have seen respectful tourists everywhere, and I have seen lousy tourists everywhere. I donтАЩt think Thailand is any different. The one thing I increasingly loathe about the country, though, is the cancer of endemic corruption. Sadly it pervades all aspects of life and absolutely no-one shows any sign of trying to stop it.

I do believe that in the last 24 hours, Bucknaway has decided to be the forums official psychiatrist!
Well to give you my experiences on this, I too visited the land of smiles maybe 5 or 6 times a year for the first 8 or so years. You will have to ask Scottish guy because she keeps count of the year I started coming here and how many times a year. :laughing3:

When I arrived I always used to say to myself....self? What the hell are you going to do here for 5 weeks??!! And then when it was time to go home, the minute I got home, I would be making reservations to come back.

When I used to travel back and forth there were many people I would call friends, go places with and want to associate with. The boys were such fun to go places with also and have fun to be around. Now many of the "friends" have turned out to people I really have no desire to associate myself with as it seems there are so many here that have a strange understanding about what a regular boy of theirs is and what is a freelancer on the beach.

I sat next to one of these "so called friends" of mine on the beach one day. A sexy boy walked passed and wanted to know if I wanted a massage. I told him how cute and sexy he was and to come back in an hour. He walked away saying that he would. Out of hearing range my "friend" casually said to me that he would prefer if I did not play with that one because he was his "regular" I could not help to ask him after several minutes, what do you call a regular? To which he replied " Oh I see him at least once every 3 weeks! Well what the f do you think he does for money, every three weeks!!!

Same one told me that when he sees a boy, the first time he gives them 700 baht. The second time he gives them 500 baht and he waits and looks for a reaction. If there is no reaction, he will see them again and if they look disappointed or confused, he considers them greedy and does not go with them again!! So ends another shallow friendship.

The boys? Well sure the boys I think change when you are here full time. The games seem to never stop and the stories are just never ending.
Then of course your business and your house have been sold and here you are living out that dream of retirement in the land of smiles, that fantasy.


Only problem is it isn't really the dream you always expected.
Your business and home are now gone and your life in retirement is here. You stay in fantasy land because that is what it is. Fantasy land. It's not reality. This is not the way the rest of the world lives and what you grew up knowing was life.

Well for most of us, it is retirement and usually the final chapter.....in a world that we know isn't reality, and I think for most, there is no way out and if there were? Well we would soon make plans to return to fantasy land.

[painai2]

For me retirement in Thailand has been truly a dream come true. I'm in my seventh year, and do love living in fantasy land. I've also taken it upon myself to study Thai, really helps to appreciate the culture and does help living here. The fantasy part is the sex, never ending fantasy for me.

[RichLB]

I doubt if moving to Thailand (or anywhere else) will become a dream come true in time. I think the reason for that statement is the More - Better - Different cycle. Many people, when becoming dissatisfied with their life condition decide that the answer is to get "more" of what they think they lack. For example, think of sex. After a period of frustration, one thinks the answer is to get more sex (and hence many come to Thailand). In time, unfortunately, that, too, can become humdrum and non-fulfilling. So the quest turns to "better sex." Believe it or not, even "better sex" can begin to pale with time. So one progresses to "different sex" - new acts, multiple partners, fetishes, or whatever. But, like all chasing that "dream come true" different sex eventually becomes standard and the cycle continues - more "different sex", better "different sex", different "different sex". The cycle can go on and on and always leading to frustration and dissatisfaction.

The model is not restricted to sex. For those who seek external solutions (eg, drugs, travel, electronic toys, etc.) to being unhappy, the more better different trap can only divert you from actually achieving that "dream come true". I'm afraid to actually achieve that dream you have to look inside yourself and not where you live.

[a447]

Justme wrote:
This is not the way the rest of the world lives and what you grew up knowing was life.

Which is why I would find it difficult to live in a third world country like Thailand/Bali. And the corruption would get me down after a while. As a tourist, it is something I rarely see firsthand.

Luckily, I can sort of visit whenever I want, so there isn't a problem.

When i was recently in Thai...i was thinking how un happy a lot of farlangs looked...maybe a lot of people are looking for paradise but in reality it does'nt exist....i think its all in the mind
some one said to me once..if your not a happy person in your own place..you wont be happy where ever you go

[Marsilius]

I quite agree with bluechris1. It's the ex-pats who put me off. Maybe it's a function of age - or of disillusionment with their lot in life - but so many of them seem to be cynical, depressed whingers whose main activities seem to be drinking and bitching.

[cdnmatt]

Ummm, never expected it to be a dream, but yeah, overall I'm quite happy with Thailand. There's pros and cons to every place, but I'm glad I'm here. Although, I think there's better places in Thailand than Issan, and will be moving shortly. Can't wait!

Here's an example. My brother was recently in my parent's area for work, so spent a night there. My entire family has been to SE Asia including Thailand before, so they all know what it's like. We all got together on Skype, and I ended up asking him, "so how's life out in [your city] treating you?"

His (sarcastic) response was something like, "ohhh man, it's fucking awesome! i mean, we have streets, and houses that all look similar, and stores, and gas stations, and everything man! i can't believe you're in Thailand! this is where it's at, man!". Then he just sighed, and said, "yeah... Thailand is pretty nice".

And he's right. I mean, what would I do in Canada? Drop $500k so I could live in the subburbs 45 mins outside of the city, and go through the weekly struggle with everyone else in society, just to keep up with the joneses? That doesn't make any sense.

[billy2bs]

Well I have not moved to LOS to retire and every time I get to thinking of why, I come to the conclusion that I do not wish to have money in the banks of Thailand at the level required> Somehow I do not trust the system which i do not know or understand well at all.When seeing all the posts of different people who try to get visas and documentations which are described here often enough, and they get different answers for the same question depending on where you ask. Well it doesnt seem like I can be comfortable with the regulations set up there.

I guess I will continue to enjoy the country in the manner I have in the past. In the future...who knows.

I quite agree with bluechris1. It's the ex-pats who put me off. Maybe it's a function of age - or of disillusionment with their lot in life - but so many of them seem to be cynical, depressed whingers whose main activities seem to be drinking and bitching.

:old: :alc:

I agree with both of you.
My signature explains all the rest.

I quite agree with bluechris1. It's the ex-pats who put me off. Maybe it's a function of age - or of disillusionment with their lot in life - but so many of them seem to be cynical, depressed whingers whose main activities seem to be drinking and bitching.

:old: :alc:

I agree with both of you...

And I agree with the THREE of you!

:hello2:

[PeterUK]

Yep, if you were unhappy in your own country you'll still be unhappy in Thailand. BUT at least lack of sexual opportunity - such a drag - gets removed from the list of woes. You can be unhappy as a result of overindulgence instead.

..You can be unhappy as a result of overindulgence instead.

You mean when your money runs out?

[thrillbill]

I live in Pattaya because of my job nearby. Comparing with other 4 countries I have worked in, I was delighted to get transferred to Thailand. I enjoy the Thai culture and openess of everything. Of course, not everything is perfect about the culture (corruptness of police; poor customer service; lack of maintenance; Thai smile with no opinion.. ) The kind of gay life in Pattaya is not my type. Most (90%) of the Thai young men (you cal them "boys" expect money for romance..even some of the 40 year olds!!! Why? Because the type of farang that comes to Pattaya is the older type that is happy to pay for sex--and most of them seem to be into the skinny, young type. For me, I am use to the regular gay social life..where u go to a club or bar and socialize with someone and if you click then you "shag up". I find I have to go to BKK for my gay life. I am not into the 18-20 , skinny, fem types so find my type (older and athletic masculine) in BKK. (without paying)