Another Boy Gone Too Soon

[Doug]

I regret to inform this board of the passing of a sweet boy who was a waiter at Duc's Bar and Coffee Shop in Sunee Plaza. Jane was a very gentle young guy and a great waiter at Duc's for nearly 5 years.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v345/siamboy/Jane.jpg

For the past 6 months he was unwell but, like many Thai boys, refuse to get proper treatment. He became reclusive and it wasn't until he had become seriously ill that his friends took him to a hospital where he was admitted immediately with severe respiratory complications. Two days ago he was moved to a hospital in Chonburi but today, shortly after 3 of his friends visited him he passed.

Tonight, many of his friends met a Duc's to grieve and fondly remember a good soul and a wonderful friend.

For further information, contact Duc or Lek at the bar.

Rest in peace my friend.

[frequentflier]

this is real sad..what a wonderful smile..R.I.P.

So sad and perhaps more annoyingly SO avoidable with the free meds that were already available to him if only he could have been persuaded to take them :-( May he rest in peace.

[Dani69]

Sad ...he was a nice boy

[gaymandenmark]

So sad, so sad, I have known him a littlebit some years in a "platonic" way.
After the first time I met him, in the soi, I did never forget his eyes, his smile, his soft and pleasant personality.
He grabbed my hands and asked me where I was going, now I want to grab your hands and ask where you are going.
Rest in peace Jane, I am sure you will be missed by the people you knew.

[jimnbkk]

I have another Thai friend from one of the bars who has come down sick. He was very depressed and although I'm home now, I've been trying to help him with his meds and doctor visits. I've told him that he needs to go home, but since I'm here and he's there, I have no leverage.

I think any boy 'in the business' who ends up sick (and we all know I'm talking about HIV/AIDS) tends to give up. They are, IMHO, all relatively lazy or they wouldn't work in the bars, and as much as we like them, we tend to shy away from them when they're not touchable any more. And they have nowhere to turn. I will help this kid as long as I can, and I will continue to hope that he goes home and gets a real job. Fortunately, meds are a lot cheaper in Thailand than they are here in the USA.

[Neal]

One of my old friends came down with Aids. He is Burmese and there is no program for him. He used to drink himself into a stupper in the karaoke bars and cry and sing all night long. Finally after much work I convinced him to see Dr Philippe here in Pattaya. I took care of the blood tests and the meds and miraculously he takes them. I have a few people who have promised him that when I go, they will take over paying for the meds and I really hope one of them does as I will not be here to push them and both he and I know it, but he remains brave. The meds are beyond his reach at about $110US a month.
Cheap for me and a fortune for him. I think that is why there are so many that go home to die. The shame, the cost and what their families think of them.
My friend sometimes cries and I hold him and he says he is so scared that he will just die when I do as no one will be there for him and he is just putting off the inevitable. What can I say?

[Doug]

Just to clarify, as far as I know, Jane was never diagnosed with Hiv/aids.

[Neal]

Hmmm, yes. Isn't that poor of us that when someone young and in the sex trade goes at such an early age we just automatically think of HIV? Well some will say it is obvious since he was possibly (I said possibly, maybe he had a steady relationship!) that that was what it was.

The important thing is that we think of him as a young lad who left the planet oh so early and we regret that. For whatever reason, malaria, cancer, hiv, infections, whatever, he is gone and we send our love to him. Let's all be nice and from now on stop talking about why a person may have left us, especially if we don't know and really it doesn't matter.

[adman5000]

Neal- If you are worried about what will happen to him when you are gone, is there a mechanism in Thailand to set up an annuity for him?

Although I don't know if I would want to tell a Thai/Burmese guy that he will get an annuity when I go. So don't tell him or you may go even earlier than planned!

[Neal]

Like all other Thai or Thai ish boys, the second it is in their hands, they spend it. What would have to be checked out is that there is a way to pay out only a little bit each month for his meds. I am not sure if there is something in place that would pay out let's say only 4,000 baht per month.
anyway, I guess we would need to open a new thread to discuss this as we have now gone astray and this is this young man's obit.

I don't know the boy concerned, but it is certainly very sad news.

I have to say that what disturbs me even more is the number of boys who deliberately choose to end their own young lives through a combination of circumstances and a sense of hopelessness. This is a situation that has touched me personally 3 or 4 times in the last 10/15 years ( yeah, I'm a bit of a jinx, I know) and it makes me profoundly sad.

Anyway to this poor soul, rest in peace, Jane.

:love4:

[jvt22222]

If you have him registered as a patient of Dr. Philippe, I thought the meds he provides were supposed to be free????

If you have him registered as a patient of Dr. Philippe, I thought the meds he provides were supposed to be free????


Free for Thais (or legal immigrants?) only, maybe - the boy Neal refers to is Burmese.

I'm assuming that might be the loophole - don't know for a fact :dontknow:

[jolyjacktar]

Bless him and may Budda take care of him now

[allofmesuneeplaza]

More than a year a boy I knew became seriously ill. My immediate thought was HIV, but when we convinced him to get medical care he was diagnosed with advanced TB. The good news is that with six months of intensive treatment, including several hospitalizations, he fully recovered. I'm only sharing this to raise our awareness of TB. Most of the boys seem to be pretty well educated about HIV and safer sex practices, but totally unaware of TB and that it is a treatable, curable disease. If you know a boy with respiratory problems, please encourage him to get tested for TB.

[latintopxxx]

Not sure how to interpret your comment that, "Most of the boys seem to be pretty well educated about HIV and safer sex practices", in my vast experience with Thai gogo/rent boys the overwhelming majority are very willing to bareback and swallow....so they might understand how transmission takes place but they certainly don't seem to think it's going to happen to them...and when I question them on it they always reply along the line "it's ok, you don't look sick".
It's very rare that I find a careful one that checks/makes sure that I'm safely attired.
Bit sad as most are absolutely gorgeius and they don't seem to value life..

If they valued life or had sufficient self-esteem, they wouldn't be renting.

Harsh, but probably true?

:dontknow:

[latintopxxx]

scotty, you probably got a poiunt...but in Thailand I could also see whoring as a quick way for someone from a poor background to move ahead financially..to support their studies...that sort of thing....I'm constantly taken aback at how casual the vast majority are when it comes to their own well being..sad.