Burger Queens

[Monty-old]

Thanks to Thaiquila.
I have decided to try something new at Monty's Cafe B& B.
BURGER QUEEN.
Here are a few to start.
HAM BURGER.
CHEESE BERGER.
BACON BURGER.
CHILI BURGER.
EGG BURGER.
PEPPERED BERGER.
STEAK BERGER.
PORK BURGER.
CHICKEN BURGER.
DOUBLE BURGER.
VEGGIE BURGER.
THE FULL MONTY BURGER (THE LOT)
YOUR CHOICE BURGER.
SALAD ,FRENCH FRIES,(CHIPS ) ON THE SIDE. Extra 50 bht.
Price from 75 bht to 95 bht.
Now it's your turn to come up with a few more. Queen Burgers.
And do Not forget a dash or humor.

The competition is heating up ... I like the Burger Queens name ...
how about the Boy Special Burger (you supply the special sauce)

the Samuel Becket Burger (you wait, it never arrives, or that could also be called the Niddys Burger)

the LESburger, two buns with two bagel holes

the Harvey Milk Burger (with Cuban Castro Street sauce)

The American Teacher Burger: a thin patty of spam topped with store-bought Wall's ice cream.

The Hedda Burger: a trichinosis-infested pork patty topped with snake bile.

the Horseburger (with the finest ground horsemeat)

the Jomtien Highrise Burger (it is served standing up on its end)

[andrewcraig]

what would you put in that

1/2 pound lard and 1/2 pound of the finest cheese available.

The Botting Burger: two buns with absolutely nothing inside.

[Bob]

How about the Billy Trojan Burger. He might as well eat them as he doesn't use them.... :albino:

[Monty-old]

TONIGHT FREE QUEEN BURGERS AT MONTY'S CAFE B&B.
From 7 pm to 9pm.
All you can eat.
Come and try our full range of burgers.
Lets have a burger party.
Good music , good fun. good food.
Bring your boy for a chili burger.

Now THAT's a promotion! AT, please note how it's done properly.

DELETED

The Botting Burger:
Two buns with absolutely nothing inside.


boygeenyus burger No. 1
a very young and tender patty wrapped in an old and stale bun seved dry and crusty, and only available in Pattaya

boygeenyus burger No. 2
An extra large bun served full of bullshit.

All things considered; I think I'll have a BLT.

Monty has been flogging his place for longer than AT. I detest both of them. Is this forum so boring we read this crap?

If you don't want to read the postings simply ignore them. I for one enjoy their writtings. What I detest are people that only have negative comments.

[Aunty]

What about a King Richard burger, also known as The Big Dick burger.

Made from the finest well hung beef. Self saucing and mighty tasty.

Perhaps followed by a Frosty Boy ice cream? Often licked but never beaten.

Yes I'd quite like that. One Queen Burger and a Frosty Boy ice cream served with lashings of gin.

Of course you could always try a Retired Colonel burger. Made from mouldy lettuce, stale bread, watery sauce, mad-cow's beef served with a scowl and the rest of last yearтАЩs left-overs. ItтАЩs so past its use by date.

They make the most wonderful version of that one at the Tastee-Freeze in Rancho Cordova.

[lonelywombat]

Is this forum so boring we read this crap?

No only when you post, you get under our guard. It would be better if you found another forum

'Burger Me Burger' - A surprise burger - when you open the buns you find a hot dog inside!

'Up To you Burger' - Customer choice, have whatever you want on your burger, but you pay for it later.

'Same, Same Burger' - Yesterdays leftovers

'You Seksii Man Burger' - Scraggy old piece of meet in a worn out bun (don't believe the hype)

'Num Yet Burger' - Fuck the burger i'll take the boy

'Num Yet Burger' - Fuck the burger i'll take the boy

If that's not a recipe for success I've never heard one! :notworthy:
But an hour later you'll be hungry again--And seconds still won't fill you up: Win-win all around!

(Does it come sa-moked?)

How about some "sloppy joe-lenes" ?

[Monty-old]

Monty held a very successful Queen Burger Night and these were some of the comments that the tasters made.
1./ Montys burgers are moist, deliciously spiced and oh so tasty.
I loved eating them. JH.

2./ Montys steak burgers are so tender you donтАЩt even need to put your teeth in them.
But he rather you did. Julien.

3./ To bun burgers excellent.
Great idea for additives. KK

4./ Three bun burgers bread too difficult to eat.
Chicken good JC

5./ Meat was good well cooked, very teasty.
Very filling could not eat two. JP

6./ Thouroughly enjoyable. BB

7./ Hamburgers very good.
Chicken burgers too much but very tasty.
Overall, very good. NS

8,/ Burgers with a great variety of taste, a good chance tpo try something different. AR

9./ Different than the regular boring style.
Just take it as you like.
Especially the steakburger with the soft stake is just great. TEW

10,/ Best burgers in Pattaya.
Caramilised onions excellent.
Salads wonderful. OP

11./ Burgers, I found them good, say 8 out of 10.
It obviously depends on what you add to the burger.
Rolls were fine. 7 out of 10, Sandy

Looks like Montys on another WINNER, well, he is Australian after all.
Good Luck to Monty.

[jolyjacktar]

Hey Monty, biggest gimmick in the book. Write your own reviews and say they were from other people. Good one shipmate. Cant stand fast food anyhow. Pitty you dont do Whale steaks, Shark dippers, or Big Macralls. I do like a salty sea snack or two matey.
ONE ROTTING KIPPER IN MONTYS OLD BAR YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM

Monty held a very successful Queen Burger Night and these were some of the comments that the tasters made.
1./ Montys burgers are moist, deliciously spiced and oh so tasty.
I loved eating them.

Maybe you made a special effort Monty?

On one of our rare visits to Pattaya b/f and myself dropped into your place for a beef-burger this evening.

Burger just about on par with Burger King Whopper but certainly nothing special, also far to dry, maybe it had been waiting for the b/f's chicken burger to be ready at the same time.? The b/f thought the chicken was undercooked and the bread dry, which being early evening should not have been so.( I had a nibble and agreed), Mentioned this to the waiter who seemed totally disinterested and more interested in the conversation going between a couple of ageing queens next to us

The food was not up to a standard that I would expect after all of the self-adulation that Monty has thrust upon us. As to value for money, it is only value if the customer enjoys the food, which we did not.

The other drawback was the clientile, mostly I assume local residents who appeared to be competing for an Oscar for the the most limp wristed squealing drama queen. A place that in future I would make sure I avoid.

Whilst here we will pop into Nook's place and see what that is like.

So to counteract your own spurious 'customer comments'

1. Beefburger dry and not something I would order again.

2. Chickenburger, undercooked and presentation sloppy.


Come up to Bangkok and we wil take you to a place where you will learn the real meaning of a tasty burger

Please, tell us...what place would that be? And don't say Woodstock or Thai Isan Inter, please.

[Monty-old]

Nauughty but nice,I am quite sure you have never been to Monty's B& B Cafe.
As I Have NEVER served Chichen burgers, other than ON the Burger Queen Night.
And then only made 2 for John, and they were not burgers , But chicken breast on a burger bun.
But I will make you a special burger If you ever Do come to Monty's.
THE PORKY PIE BURGER.

Nauughty but nice,I am quite sure you have never been to Monty's B& B Cafe.
As I Have NEVER served Chichen burgers, other than ON the Burger Queen Night.
And then only made 2 for John, and they were not burgers , But chicken breast on a burger bun.
But I will make you a special burger If you ever Do come to Monty's.
THE PORKY PIE BURGER.

Sorry Monty but we were unfortunate enough to eat at you place.

B/F requested a chicken burger which was presented to him as a 1 1/2 pieces of chicken in a dryish bun . If it was not chicken then what was it?

As b/f asked for 'burger' it was fair to assume that what was delivered was your version of a chickenburger

Please, tell us...what place would that be? And don't say Woodstock or Thai Isan Inter, please.

Tony Rona's, Bangkok

Mate that was a Aussie chicken burger ! Two pieces of a bun throw in the sausage and its done.What do u want for flamin free?
A chickenburger made with a sausage, now there's a novelty :blackeye:

NAughty but nice ,are you telling me there were white shoe wearing limp wristed woolly moofs at MONTYS the night you attended? I am shocked,looks like the white shoe brigade have moved in on this place too then.I know how you feel if there are sqealing poofs talking with upper class accents sitting there.Looks like the white shoe /safari suit wearing upper class woolly moofs have now taken this place too.

I can't say we took much notice of their shoes but the screaming aged queens atmosphere was a big turn off.

Could you go back and look to see their shoes for me mate,please!
Looks like its them,there moved in on MONTYS.Cant you walk over there right now?

Billy even for a gentleman such as yourself that would be purgatory.

Incidentally we paid for our food at Monty's it was not free. Had it been a freebie then we might have expected the poor standard of food that was served.

Once bitten twice shy :alien:

[Monty-old]

I think you have got my place mixed up with RON, ALD McDONALDS or do you just PARKs out side there in Perth.
I have checked and We have never sold any chicken burgers to you or anyone else.
Get your facts right, and do not bull shit.

[Michael]

Burger Queens
At last a post that lives up to it's title bar: "Burger Queens"! To brighten up the mood here's a chicken burger queen.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v146/wesley1778/gaychichenburger.gif

AND WHO WAS DOIN THE CHICKENDANCE?
WAS THAT YOUUUUUUUUU MONTY? WERE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU DOIN THE CHICKENDANCE?

Click on the picture and see boygeorge in action !



http://upload4.postimage.org/251494/chickendance.jpg (http://upload4.postimage.org/251494/photo_hosting.html)

[Monty-old]

Sorry ,,, No Queen Burger at Monty's this week as I an in Perth doing market reserch.
I have found a some new Burgers, which will be on the menu on my return next week.

Double cheese ,crispy bacon, topped with sliced olives.
Beef Burger and baked Beans, sprinkled with Worcestershire Sauce.
Beef Burger with roasted tomato, onion, and green peppers.
Fish Burger with tartar sauce,spinkled with parmesan cheese.
Beef Burger with cheese,cacciatora, pepperoni, & olives.

See you soon.

Monty although I fear I shall never darken your doors do you think you could set an example by making up some names that have a bit of out-of-the-ordinary about them? I'm forever going to hotels in Thailand where I'm offered "American Breakfast" which bears no resemblance to any breakfast I've had in a hotel in America. It's like that perennial favourite in Thailand "American Fried Rice" - a dish not known to Americans anywhere else

Something that comes with eggs, bacon, sausage, ham, tomato, mushrooms and hash browns, with toast, marmalade and coffee on the side (and possibly an optional orange juice) would be better described as The Big Deal - or in your case The Full Monty

"American fried rice" and "America breakfast" are kinda like "Canadian bacon" and "french fries," huh?

The few times I have ordered "American fried rice" in Thailand out of curiosity, it was a very similar style to fried rice as served in Chinese restaurants in the US catering to Americans, and definitely a different style than Thai fried rice, and also a different style from fried rice at Chinese restaurants catering to Chinese (especially in places like Singapore).
So actually American fried rice is a pretty good name for a not so great dish (stick with the Thai fried rice in Thailand).

And of course the world famous Nookie Cheeseburgers, guaranteed "best in the soi" or you eat FREE.

So actually American fried rice is a pretty good name for a not so great dish (stick with the Thai fried rice in Thailand).

There's hardly a Chinese restaurant owner in the world who can resist re-serving, in the fried rice, the leftover steamed rice customers didn't eat.
An Asian family I know always spit in theirs, before leaving the table...to prevent the rice being re-served.... Hopefully.
Nevertheless; they never, ever order fried rice. :puke: