Same Bar, Different Guy?

I know this may sound silly/naive, but please take it in the spirit in which it is intended.

I tend to become a "regular" when I find a bar I am comfortable with, and generally hang out with the same guy there.

But, sometimes, we want a different variety to taste, right? So how do I respectfully move on from one guy at a bar to another? My regular always comes and sits with me, talks with me, drinks with me, and so on... and it genuinely nice, so I do not want to offend or cause him to lose face. BUT: there is another guy I would love to have fun with, too!

Any suggestions? Thanks!

[anonone]

Two thoughts come to mind:

The next time you go in, take him off and let him know when saying goodbye that the next time you come into the bar, you may want to take a different guy. This allows him not to look bad if he ses you come into the bar and sits with you, only to have you take some else off. He can hang back and let you " make the first move".

If you enjoy a 3some, or want to try one, you can ask him about his participating in one. Typical advice for this is to off him and then both of you head to a different bar to find a friend. Not always a great idea to take off two guys from the same bar. There can be some friction between them or they might be friends and not want to sex it up as much with them.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

[Dick]

You may find that boy #2 won't go with you without permission from boy #1, less it disrupt the harmony of the place or contravene an 'unwritten' code amongst the boys. I would therefore suggest you ask boy #1 for help - as a butterfly you're curious and have the hots for boy #2... can he let boy #2 know you are interested. That way boy #1 saves face by introducing you, and boy #2 has open invitation.

We don't know full details and this assumes that boy #1 doesn't genuinely have the hots for you, isn't the possessive type; won't feel jealous or put it about you cheated on him. Irrespective, your relationship with boy #1 will never be the same afterwards.

If you want to 'keep' boy #1 but looking for an occasional distraction, then go look in another bar in a different area. That way you can go back to your regular when you feel like it, and you won't have made any enemies.

Both you guys posted really sensitively formulated and helpful responses to my query. I appreciate that. (I note that the very helpful moderator quickly deleted the one very nasty pointless posting that came in...Many thanks!)

So I think there are really two things going on: One is the acknowledgment that the bar guys actually have human feelings. Of course we all know that they are there are as working guys doing a job to earn money. But when your livelihood is based upon other people responding to your looks and personality, there has got to be some investment of "ego" in the process. No one -no matter what their position in life- wants to be passed over, turned down, ignored, abused. And we fans of things Thai need to acknowledge that bar guys are just as human as we are and demand a level of respect that is equal to what we give other people we encounter. Sure they keep up the smile when we turn them down and quickly move on to the next potential customer, but... Are they really as immune to disappointment as we pretend they are?

Just a thought...

Now as to the situation I posed: I went back to the bar last night and at first my "regular" was not there, so I breathed a sigh of relief (hehe) and intended to go with "#2". But then #1 came back and he quickly understood the situation and assured me that he had no problem if I took the other guy. Frankly, I did not believe him... and went with him instead. The other guy quickly retreated and I generously tipped him for his time. (Of course the mamasan wanted me to take both - a situation that I believe is doomed to failure!)

[martin911]

Yes i guess the reason the moderator deleted my initial response was because it was not sensitively formulated enough for your good self !! :occasion9:

[Neal]

I have looked around and dont see anything deleted. Why dont you send it to me in a PM and I will look some more or comment. Please ask before accusing. :tongue3:

Yes i guess the reason the moderator deleted my initial response was because it was not sensitively formulated enough for your good self !! :occasion9:

Yes, you are probably correct. Many thanks.

[Neal]

I did find it and the comment was inappropriate.

[latintopxxx]

..at the risk of being deleted and banned again (daboss..good to see you back on the perch...kudos to the excellent medical help available here?)...that's why I make it clear that my "realtionship"with them is purely physical..no pretence...very liberating....and I even venture to say that most of the boys I off find it a relief..not to have to profess love for someone they only "met"...an hour ago...

[pong]

ola senor, come es?
As to OQ; do not worry too much, any barboy (should) know the ropes and chances of his job. Just tell him when you enter that this evening you want to try someone else.
In fact lately I (quite unintended) made him much more horny and determined to show he could do better/more as the other one next time.

[Rob33]

I know this may sound silly/naive, but please take it in the spirit in which it is intended.



I think it is a very kind post not at all typical. Nice to know you care about peoples feelings and face at such moments.

I think I wouldn't be too fussed just go in get drunkish make fun and tell him you think "so and so" is very sexy too and you definitely want to try. Im sure he will understand maybe even invite the new one over to the table have a threesome discourse, laugh a lot, buy a lot of drinks then leave with the one you want, smiles all around.

Does he speak your language or you any Thai? If not you might have to just flirt with the one you want at the same time as being merry to the other, keep it happy and dont get anxious he will get the message.

The thing is obviously you are the sensitive type but honestly they on the other hand must have different clients everyday of the week sometimes twice a day or more so he shouldn't be too fussed. Its not like they would take it personally however they will miss out on the cash, so a drink if they do drink could be a nice touch.

Its not like they fall in love :8( unless you are an adonis?