Older and younger guys hanging out together

[TotalTop]

Hi,

How is it with older and younger guys hanging out together, or even dating, having sex etc. in Thailand?

I'm 30, and I mostly like younger guys (say 18-23 years old). In Europe, it would be considered quite an age difference for a gay couple. How is it in Thailand? How do the thais look at it? I assume here that the foreigner is usually the older part and the thai is the younger (but could be different of course).

[gaymandenmark]

I'm 30, and I mostly like younger guys (say 18-23 years old). In Europe, it would be considered quite an age difference for a gay couple.

Would it? I don't think so from my own experiences.

BTW google is also your friend.

[joe552]

Ok, I'll bite. Thailand is renowned worldwide as a country where May/September relationships are accepted, whether that's gay, straight or ladyboy. Most of the guys on here go to, or live in Thailand because we can "date" much younger guys.

Hope this helps.

[bucknaway]

Most Thai will not bat an Eye as long as everyone is of legal age but other visitors there on holiday may look at you with disgust and if you are out of luck you may get approached by a woman on a mission to save the young from the "dirty old men" there on holiday.

[frequentflier]

Most Thai will not bat an Eye as long as everyone is of legal age but other visitors there on holiday may look at you with disgust and if you are out of luck you may get approached by a woman on a mission to save the young from the "dirty old men" there on holiday.
i visited mcdonalds on Pattaya beach with some friends and felt completly out of place by some Italian guys who kept looking at us and making comments..I presume that this is natural.

[pong]

bucknaway hit the nail right on the head. Its even worse in Cambodia-where there are 100s of self-appointed moral crusader groups even following lone males to check if they do not do any supposed harm to Khmer, who are of course beyond any doubt to be as virgin as they look like.
In more Thai singasong bars etc it is even much more common for couples of very different age. The Thai will complement the older one for having such a good taste. it is also VERY flattering to tell a boy/girl (of over 20+) that s/he ''still looks like a child''. Du look loey!

[Manforallseasons]

I know the boy that is your avitar he has an interesting tattoo just above his ass, really.

[topjohn5]

Hi,

How is it with older and younger guys hanging out together, or even dating, having sex etc. in Thailand?

I'm 30, and I mostly like younger guys (say 18-23 years old). In Europe, it would be considered quite an age difference for a gay couple. How is it in Thailand? How do the thais look at it? I assume here that the foreigner is usually the older part and the thai is the younger (but could be different of course).

Ummmmm, are you serious? I'm not being mean but you may want to read a few posts here on the board and the answer will be clear. This board would not exist without the age-disparity sexual wonderland that Thailand is for straight and gay alike. There are few active members that don't have sex with or have boy friends that are not younger than they are....there are a few, no doubt, but precious few....
The only people in general that care are the foreigners. I admit that it can be shocking at first seeing a 70-80 year old holding hands with a nubile young guy or girl but TIT...

[topjohn5]

Hi,

How is it with older and younger guys hanging out together, or even dating, having sex etc. in Thailand?

I'm 30, and I mostly like younger guys (say 18-23 years old). In Europe, it would be considered quite an age difference for a gay couple. How is it in Thailand? How do the thais look at it? I assume here that the foreigner is usually the older part and the thai is the younger (but could be different of course).

I'm really curious where in Europe it would be inappropriate for a gay couple to be dating that were 30 and 23 years old??? I just want to know so I can avoid the place, lol.

[kjun12]

you may get approached by a woman on a mission to save the young from the "dirty old men" there on holiday.
I have neither seen or heard of this and I've been coming to Thailand for 10 years and lived here 5 of those years.

[kjun12]

bucknaway hit the nail right on the head. Its even worse in Cambodia-where there are 100s of self-appointed moral crusader groups even following lone males to check if they do not do any supposed harm to Khmer, who are of course beyond any doubt to be as virgin as they look like.
In more Thai singasong bars etc it is even much more common for couples of very different age. The Thai will complement the older one for having such a good taste. it is also VERY flattering to tell a boy/girl (of over 20+) that s/he ''still looks like a child''. Du look loey!
Once again, I don't have a clue what you are trying to say.

[a447]

Kjun12 wrote:
I have neither seen or heard of this and I've been coming to Thailand for 10 years and lived here 5 of those years.

I agree completely. And as for that Cambodian info, it's news to me. I never saw any vigilante type groups in Cambodia.

[francois]

The Thai will complement the older one for having such a good taste.

Nothing better than a tasty Thai.

[Neal]

I got approached once in 12 years. I was sitting in the old Dynamite when Madame Ross was there and was calling the young men down and giving them hugs and squeezing them and then giving them a tip. It was strange but there was a young man of about 30 -35 and a woman same age sitting in the row behind me. After a few tips, the woman tapped me on the shoulder and said loudly, "don't you realize these are children!!". I said," what?!" as it confused me for a moment."You are playing with BABIES", she yelled. I was very well known in Dynamite in those days, and yelled for them to get them out of there and raised a beer bottle menacingly and everyone grabbed them and rushed them to the door. I continued to play with my PLUS 20 year old children!

A very bad experience Neal, but a very useful reminder of exactly how many people think.

:glasses7:

[gaymandenmark]

I'm really curious where in Europe it would be inappropriate for a gay couple to be dating that were 30 and 23 years old??? I just want to know so I can avoid the place, lol.

I can tell you that it is not in Copenhagen, Denmark.

So when TotalTop writes in another topic, and in his profile, that he is living in Copenhagen, Denmark, he must be living in a very big closet in his own hometown or maybe he looks like the Elephantman, and then the small age difference is not the real problem. :hah:

[topjohn5]

Yes, if someone looks like the Elephant Man or maybe is the size of one...that would make the age difference irrelevant wouldn't it...I know no place in all of Europe, America or quite frankly anywhere in the world a straight or gay couple of 30 and 23 would be frowned upon due to the age difference....
So it must be something else like what you mention.
Although strangely his aviator is actually with an ugly and totally obese guy...or if he isn't anymore he was for over a year....but that same guy was wealthy so it made the difference I guess, hahahaha...

[Dodger]

Thep and I had walked out of the movie theater at Bic C once and immediately caught the attention of some farang women who was standing with a group of her farang friends who felt inclined to confront me. In a loud and very stern tone she asked me if it bothered me holding hands with someone who was obviously half my age. I resisted Thep's arm-tug as he attempted to get me to just walk alway and responded by saying..."I thought that holding his hand was the least I could do after the blow job he just gave me in the movie theater". She appeared as if she was going to have a cardiac arrest.

As we walked away Thep kept saying..."what you say to her, what you say to her...now she look angry too much". I just smiled...he laughed...then we both laughed.

[TotalTop]

I'm really curious where in Europe it would be inappropriate for a gay couple to be dating that were 30 and 23 years old??? I just want to know so I can avoid the place, lol.

I can tell you that it is not in Copenhagen, Denmark.

So when TotalTop writes in another topic, and in his profile, that he is living in Copenhagen, Denmark, he must be living in a very big closet in his own hometown or maybe he looks like the Elephantman, and then the small age difference is not the real problem. :hah:

I'm 100% Danish and I live in Frederiksberg in Copenhagen .... please! What I meant with my post that you cite was that - among educated people i most of Northern Europe, including Copenhagen where I live - people would really notice if a 30 year old educated man with a respectable job had an 18 year boy as his boyfriend (or likewise with a girl). It is not because they would have anything against the idea of a man at 30 having sex with a 18 year old boy. Or even a 15 year old boy (the age of consent is 15 here!). As long as it was something he kept to himself and his friends. But as a boyfriends, people would really think it was odd, if he presented them with an 18 year old boy. That's how it is here in Copenhagen - at least in the circles where I come. And I'm fully out of the closet btw.

23 yo's and 30 yo's as boyfriends would be accepted though.

[gaymandenmark]

Totaltop, just answer in english, on this board.
You have send a PM to me and thank you, I will reply you pm tomorrow.

[TotalTop]

... After a few tips, the woman tapped me on the shoulder and said loudly, "don't you realize these are children!!". I said," what?!" as it confused me for a moment."You are playing with BABIES", she yelled. I was very well known in Dynamite in those days, and yelled for them to get them out of there and raised a beer bottle menacingly and everyone grabbed them and rushed them to the door. I continued to play with my PLUS 20 year old children!

I think the problem here is that women will never really understand male sexuality. Older guys "hunting" young sex partners is what men have done since the stone age.

And the fact that young guys (and girls for that matter) are often attracted to experienced older mentors, lovers, friends etc. is also something that we have seen for thousands of years.

Why do women want to suppress this natural part of male sexuality (provided that - of course! - it happens between two legal, consenting partners)?


And yes, I agree, 20 year old thai boys are not children, they are grown men, perfectly able to choose what they want to do. I think the same thing goes for an 18 year old for that matter. Women should just not interfere with men and young guys playing with each other, even if the older (white) guy is 40 and the younger (thai) guy has just turned 18 yesterday.

[TotalTop]

Most of the guys on here go to, or live in Thailand because we can "date" much younger guys.


Well it sounds like a paradise to me. When I was in BKK in noticed a few times gay couples where a quite attractive young guy at maybe 18-20 was clearly romantically involved with a much older white guy of maybe 40-45 years.

It was really nice to see - Western European boys are usually not like that. Many European boys have fantasies about older guys and many European boys also have sex with older guys, but it is something they do very discrete and they don't intend to form a relationship with this guy. It's just sex. But these couples that I saw clearly looked like it was more than just casual sex.

[anonone]

It feels like paradise to me. As I have mentioned before, I wish I would have found Thailand years ago. (Not only for sex reasons. I love most things about Thailand, even the scratch-your-head TIT type of stuff). I was hooked after my first visit and would love to figure out a way to move to Thailand on at least a semi-permanent basis.

More on topic, there will always be some people that want to pass judgement and inflict their will onto others. For me, life is too short to be a hater.

I do love when the women are throwing evil glances and muttering under their breath while their husband is doing everything they can to observe the Thai beauties on the sly. You know those guys are just kicking themselves for having the wife with them....

[TotalTop]

I do love when the women are throwing evil glances and muttering under their breath while their husband is doing everything they can to observe the Thai beauties on the sly. You know those guys are just kicking themselves for having the wife with them....

Yes, I saw that a lot while I was in Thailand. Those straight (?!) husbonds looking at young thai girls and sometimes also boys. I wonder how many of them are actually bisexual.

Definately, they all deeply regret that they brought their wife .....

[danny99]

I do love when the women are throwing evil glances and muttering under their breath....

Funny, here in Bali I am constantly in the company of young guys [late teens, early 20's, although to westerners most Asians do look much younger than they really are]...the only occasional glares I get are always from mid to elderly overweight European and Australian men [definitely the suburban working-class variety], their wives never seem to take much notice. In the Bali village where the boys come from their parents, etc., take no notice and welcome me profusely. It is almost a status symbol if their son has been with me to dinner, or even away for a weekend of snorkelling in Amed. They boys are not gay of course, all will get married and father the next generation, but under the covers...why not?

[TotalTop]

Bali sounds like a very nice place indeed! I need to go there as well :-)

And yes, I'm one of those westerners who have a hard time figuring out the age of an Asian boy. I tend to under estimate the age always. They appear to look more boyish than European boys. I have met boys that were 22-23 year old that looked like teenage boys. That can really confuse a visitor in the beginning.

Doesn't help if they are short too.

Doesn't help if they are short too.

Absolutely right there, the only two times I've had people comment or give me "looks" was when I with short guys as i think the people assumed they were much younger than they were. The first time was actually when I was with a guy I'd offed from Neals bar lol - who needless to say was WELL above any legal age limit but did to be fair look quite small and Fem and a farang guy walked past us in the mall in muttered "disgusting" at us quite loudly as we passed , needless to say my Thai guy ignored him ( but was embarrassed) and I went back to him to ask him what his problem was apparently by the time I'd returned to where he was sitting he didn't have one anymore (strangely enough)!

The other time was while I was sitting on the BTS with a BF, who I would add wasn't a bar boy / go go boy / money boy etc but was just an ordinary regular guy dressed in jeans and a tee shirt and not in anyway dressed in "sexy" clothes etc, plus he has actually 28 / 29? years old and I was (a young) 40 so I certainly didn't consider our age difference to be miles apart. I was taller and he was short (5'5ft I seem to recall ) and a Thai husband and wife sat opposite very obviously talking badly about us and looking at me "in disgust" and whispering stuff about me to each other etc (which my BF later confirmed to me as he overheard what they were saying but wouldn't tell me at the time in case I freaked out lol) so yeah I know where you're coming from re being seen with shorter guys and whilst I've no problem with the guys and take people as I find them no matter what their height I do hate how it "looks" sometimes :-(

Mind you in Thailand I tend to work on a basis of "it's their problem not mine" with people if they don't like what they see I generally let stuff like that just wash over me these days as I can't be bothered worrying about them anymore.

Its easy to get back at them if you are with somebody else you just look at them and keep looking and start talking to your friend about anything at all if you can get your friend to look at something close to them they cant really see what he is looking at so think you are both talking about them but if its just a woman I always say hows your pissflaps darling

[cdnmatt]

Ummm, for all intents and purposes it's fine. You'll never run into problems from Thais, that's for sure. It's just not culturally acceptable to do that.

Sometimes you'll get looks of disgust, sometimes looks of jealousy, and the vast majority of time people simply don't give a shit. They're busy with their own lives. You can tell a few people don't like it, but I don't think it has anything to do with being gay. They just view it as the white man coming in, and exploiting their people & culture, type of thing. But that's fine, up to them. Globalization isn't exactly going to begin reversing, so tough shit for them, and get used to it. :-)

But no, all in all, it's fine. The one thing I do though is make sure Kim always pays for everything, and I never give him money in public. If we go out for dinner for example, Kim pays, not me. And I make sure he has the money in his wallet before we leave the house.

[anonone]

But no, all in all, it's fine. The one thing I do though is make sure Kim always pays for everything, and I never give him money in public. If we go out for dinner for example, Kim pays, not me. And I make sure he has the money in his wallet before we leave the house.

That is interesting about having Kim pay for everything. I have tried that with my BF (having him take my wallet or giving him money before we go out) , but he wants no part of it. I thought he was preferring that I "take care of him" in public by being the one to pay, etc. There are sometimes I just don't want to deal with it and it seems he would be better able to handle it (disco, etc).

Did Kim give any resistance to this?

But no, all in all, it's fine. The one thing I do though is make sure Kim always pays for everything


Did Kim give any resistance to this?


One of my ex's used to like to be "seen" to pay for drinks and the odd meal etc at least occasionally when we were out ( with me giving him the money before we headed out of course :-( but it turned out to be a waste of time as no matter when he did this the waiter always came back and handed the change to me anyway !

Also I worked out that it always ended up costing me a small fortune in the end as when we'd talked about it and he said he liked and wanted to look financially equal when we were out etc, so fair enough I gave him maybe 2000 beer pocket money to enable him to pay for a beer or two when we were out, so, he then paid for those first one or two first rounds, I got the change back and had to tip the waiter all usually from his first 1000 baht he'd given over then and needless to say "somehow" and because he then felt "equal" it was straight back to farang buying time and the other 1000 baht never saw the light of day again from his pocket - and if the next day or even later that night I did remember he always had an answer off to pat as to why he no longer had it ( food, credit for phone to call me - even though he'd been with me all day, or just a simple "lost it" :-) needless to say I some got wise to that wee trick almost immediately and so put a halt to his quest for "equality" lol.

Heart and his girlfriend are the ones who live in the house and take care of me. Heart puts out when g/f sleeps but I have some other squeezes also. Anyway, I will frequently send Heart out on errands and usually he brings back a receipt. Sometimes not and I just don't get upset about it cause the difference is probably not that much anyway.

When we go shopping together, he has some cash of mine and has the wallet. We shop, we buy and he asks which credit card I want to use and he even signs. When the girl starts to hand it back to me, I point to Heart and she gives it to him. I think this goes a long way for him feeling responsible and teaching him how to save and budget. Same goes for the expenses of the bar and the cash from the bar. He brings it back as it is too late for me.
We do the cash in the morning and both of us review household expenses, bar expenses and budget/pay everything out. In the beginning he was always a got cash? Let's do it now! Or we can get free money at the ATM! I find him much more responsible now.

I also find another thing very important. he is about 30 and I am 57. He needs to have a lot of time to himself and his friends and doing what younger kids like to do. I go hang out with some older folk I know and he is not bored to the tits with me and I with him. I find he really appreciates me not pulling the 5th degree on his, where ya going, who ya going with, how long will you be gone. Nope, we don't play that game and I think we are much happier.

[Wesley]

My friend, pays for the meal sometimes more than 100 USD Buys me Tennis Shoes of the best brand. He saved my life when I was dying from Cholera, stayed up 3 days with me, cleaned me up when I would mess up and kept me alive until I could get to a doctor. So, Guess He found me not me Him. He wanted to come over of planet Romeo, I thought it would be a pay as you go thing, almost would not let him come but I had never been with a Chinese. So he is a nurse and his father is the chairman of the Board at the best hospital in Manila. So, now I wish I were 18 Again I can't keep up with him. Sure is nice trying though. Of corse he doesn't pay all the time nor does he give all the gifts but it works out about even. He like the real basket ball stuff from the players. Now that will set you back a bit. but nothing more than a week in Pattaya. I do miss the playing around , so he gives me time off as long as they leave after the game is over. So, now I am not sure I care to play anymore. every now and then it works . how nice.

Adding to the subject I never ever mess with a guy under 18 and prefer 25 to 28 he is 24.

[cdnmatt]

Did Kim give any resistance to this?

Nope, not at all. To be honest, we've never actually spoken about it either. I think we both understand the connotations that come with a Thai/Farang relationship in Thailand, so there's never been a need to talk about it. I know doing this doesn't matter, but at the very least this shows we know each other quite well, and he's not just some gik for the night, type of thing.


I find he really appreciates me not pulling the 5th degree on his, where ya going, who ya going with, how long will you be gone. Nope, we don't play that game and I think we are much happier.

I'm really easy going, but I do this for only two things; a) keep the downstairs clean (never have to bitch about this anymore), and b) goto school (still working on it). He asked for my help, that was 18,000 baht, so he can go every day. If he wants to stay up until 6am drinking with his buddies, by all means go for it, but please know I'm waking you up at 8:30am to goto school.

I should actually be harder on him than I am, but I'm not. Do you have any idea what would happen if I left my phone at home, pissed off for say 16 hours, then came home at 4am piss drunk, without telling Kim where I was? Christ, I'd be hearing about that one for months.

[bing]

Finally there is subject on which I consider myself an expert. I am over 72 and do my annual visit to Pattaya. My mode of operation is to spend just about every evening with a young one of 18 to 25. The last time someone mentioned anything about the age difference was on a baht bus. There were a group of girls on the bus and my thai friend and I were the only males on the bus. One of the ladies sort of giggled a bit and then leaned close to me and sort of whispered in my ear. "You two look like you were made for each other" Not knowing what to say, I said something like, Thank you, He makes me look good." My good friend likes to hold hands as we wander the store in Central Festival Shopping Center, and that has, on occasion, garnered a raised eyebrow or two, but no one said anything. Many older arrive in LOS with the expectation of hanging with some younger guys. What others think of the spring winter relation does not bother us in the least. Many of us visitors have but a few weeks to enjoy the young guys of Thailand, so I say thank goodness for Thailand. No other place in the world has such an attraction. At least I have not found that other place.

[TravellerDave]

Bing - your post echos my experiences in Pattaya with boys. I stay either in Sunee or Boystown and I'm 59 now. I love being with Thai boys 18-25 and of course off them from the bars and gogo's.
When I find a boy I enjoy being with, I like them to stay with me during the day, and especially accompany me to Dongtan Beach. This involves a ride in a baht bus, taking one from the rank on second road. Sitting with my boyfriend and sometimes holding hands I have had quite a few comments and stares, some unkind, and occasionally I've been pleased to reach Jomtien for the short walk to the gay beach. Of course there the looks are rather different particularly if I have a very attractive boy in tow !. I enjoy buying them gifts but resist suggestions that they would like an iphone !.
I like holding hands but I dont kiss boys in non-gay places.

[gaymandenmark]

I don't hold hands with my young male prostitutes, in the streets or the b-bus.
You won┬┤t see many thai couples do that, especially if there is a big agegap.
It is suuuch a prostitute thing to show that kind of "affection" in public.
Well, that is just my oppinion.

Bing:
"You two look like you were made for each other"
Maybe she was just ironic, in a very subtle way. you being more than 72 years old and the young guy being 18 to 25 years old, sure your are "made for each other" :bounce: :glasses7:

[martin911]

I never hold hands etc with Thai guys that im only with shortime /one nite

--i believe it makes them uncomfortable --i have seen so many older farang/younger Thai boy couples in Pattaya like this where the Thai boy looks distinctly unhappy

Its different if you are with someone on a longer time frame but i would als let the Thai boy make the first move then also --

I fully agree with what gaydenmark says - IE - That it looks like what he says -a prostitute thing etc

[gaymandenmark]

yes martin911, and when they do it, they do it because they think it makes us happy.

I know some young gay guys in BKK, who is not in the money scene. Sometimes they do it with eachother, as a sign of pride and liberation. But remember that they are almost at the same age.

Sometimes you also see young guys holding hands or have the arms around eachother, but is not a gay thing or to show they are BF's, it is simple a friend thing to do.

If a young guy, who could at least be my son, tries to catch my hand in public, in Pattaya and some places in Bangkok, I am almost sure, that he is or have been a hardcore moneyboy.

[Dodger]

The first time I traveled to Theps village to meet his family was a tense situation to put it mildly. We arrived late at night...met the family...sat around munching on a small feast his mother and aunts had prepared...all the while feeling tense as hell. We had already been shacking up for a fews years, although seeing that his parents were the same age as me was the primary source of my nervousness.

After helping his mother and aunts clear the dirty dishes from the room, Thep, without giving it a second thought, walked back into the room, plopped himself down on my lap...grasped my left hand with his left hand... and starting hogging my bag of potatoe chips with his free hand exactly like he did every single night back at the condo. I was a bit embarassed...but that soon passed... as not one person in the room gave it a second thought.

The next moring he took a hold of my hand and led me around the entire village to introduce me to his other family members (there's a million of em') and close friends. from that point forward I have never once felt uneasy about holding his hand anywhere he feels so inclined. How other people would perceive this is no concern of ours.

aw that's a sweet story Dodger :-) Personally as much as that was lovely though I'd have been more pissed at him for trying to steal my bloody crisps !!! lol - must be an Irish thing ! lol :-)

[TravellerDave]

As to the holding hands thing - I would only do this in Pattaya, because Pats is not really true Thailand. For me its Fantasy Island where I can play out my dreams. Having a young boyfriend for sex and company and sitting with him on the beach in company of other gay older guys doing the same, is something I often think about whilst back home, and what brings me back to Pattaya whenever I can.

[joe552]

I'm not normally into holding hands while out and about in Pattaya, but one of the boys I offed last year would always reach for my hand whenever we were walking somewhere. I have to say it felt good, but it's not something I'd instigate.

[gaymandenmark]

I would say, that it is okay for an old farang gay man to feel that he is on a Fantasy Island, in a Fairytale movie and feel good about holding hands with a young guy.
The old farang might even feel and think that he is suddenly very "handsome".
But don't be surprised, if someone raise their eyebrows, outside the moneymarket.

[joe552]

I've never noticed a disapproving glance or whatever while walking with my boy de jour. As I said earlier, I wouldn't instigate it, as the boy might be uncomfortable, but if he's okay with it, then i don't see a problem.

[Dodger]

The old farang might even feel and think that he is suddenly very "handsome".
But don't be surprised, if someone raise their eyebrows, outside the moneymarket.

The last times I recall someone raising their eyebrows is when a farang who was strapped with hs wife at his side twisted his head around in a full circle to check out my bf's ass.