Dodger
March 10th, 2012, 20:29
One of the many things that intrigue me about Thais in general is the significance they place on тАЬsaving face.тАЭ IтАЩve never been confused about the general notion of a person not wanting to lose face as this is a common behavioral trait even in our own western cultures, although to the Thais, the significance of protecting both their public and self-image by not losing face takes on a whole new meaning.
In the earlier years of my relationship with Thep - lies would flow from his lips with the grace and harmony of song lyrics from a love ballad flowing from a singers lips, and done so without missing a beat or hint of insincerity. Later he would make amends for his lies in one way or another, but actually admitting to telling a lie never once entered his conscious mind. In ThepтАЩs eyes - protecting his own self-image was just as important, or possibly even more important than protecting his public image. The mystery as to why this was the case took several more years to begin to unravel.
Below is some interesting writing on the same subject published by sex.com who are to be credited here:
Culture of Face and Shame
Thailand is a society that operates around the construction and presentation of positive images (phap-phot) and in which public exposure of a reality (khwam-jing) that contradicts these images, even when its truth is widely known, is often a source of scandal. In some cases, such as lese majesty laws relating to defamation of the monarchy, Thai law punishes those who damage the public image of a hallowed institution, even when the revelation may be generally known to be true. In Thailand truth is only occasionally a sufficient justification for publicly exposing an unpleasant reality. Those Thais who "buck the system", "make waves" or draw attention to the contradictions between public images and private realities, are often subjected to legal and extra-legal sanctions, and "going public" on a controversial issue can be a dangerous enterprise in Thailand. For example, Thai journalists writing about local political and business affairs for regional newspapers have historically suffered high assassination rates, with local "godfathers" (jao-phor), "influential figures" (khon mi itthiphon) and "dark forces" (amnat meut) allegedly with connections to the military, police, local government and business interests often dominating local affairs. Interpreting Thai politics, society and culture is therefore a complex and often tedious task of piecing together disparate facts, and there is often a disparity between what one needs to know in order to be an informed observer of Thai affairs and what it is possible to publish or say in public.
In everyday life, Thais rarely judge their actions by any abstract criterion of right or wrong, sin, or virtue. Instead, within the culture of maintaining positive images, they are much more concerned with how they appear to others and how they measure up to others' expectations. Thus, "rightness" and "wrongness" tend to be socially specific rather than morally abstract notions within Thai culture, being more closely aligned with notions of propriety than of sin.
In this context, loss of face is often a devastating experience for a Thai man or woman. Loss of face is much more than an embarrassment, because it means that one has been judged inappropriate, whether in action, appearance or word, and entails loss of the esteem of others. Thai has a rich vocabulary to refer to shame and embarrassment that draws on the notion of "face" (na); for example, sia na ("to have one's face damaged") тАУ to lose face; khai na ("to sell one's face") тАУ to lose face, to do something shameful; na na ("to be thick faced") тАУ to be thick-skinned, to be shameless or untouched by other's views of one's behaviour; na taek ("for one's face to break") тАУ to suffer a minor embarrassment.
The importance of keeping up appearances, and the presentation of a public face of politeness, unobtrusiveness, calmness, and respectfulness, is, as Daniel Wit (1968:61-62) observes, not just a phenomenon of social interaction, but something that influences many Thais' self-image.
A Thai does not wish to lose "face"тАФbe obviously embarrassed or otherwise have his dignity or status impaired. This attitude may go so far as his not wanting to engage in a private self-analysis whose result might be inimical to his own self image.
When so much social value is placed on conforming to expectations of appropriateness, there is very little support for expressions of individuality or eccentricity within traditional Thai culture. In Thailand "being oneself" or "finding oneself" are not culturally sanctioned pursuits, or justifications for individual or eccentric behaviour. Being appropriate or conforming is by far the dominant social ethic. The Thai individual does exist but, in Niels Mulder's (1979:108) words, he "is used to seeing himself and others as members of groups or according to the social attributes of position". In a society based on collective or group values, what others think of oneтАФand not simply how others act in relation to oneтАФbecomes a significant social force for ensuring conformity. Loss of face or social standing is consequently often perceived as a personal tragedy, and so the threat of loss of face exerts a major coercive force.
All credit for the above belong to Sexworks.com
In the earlier years of my relationship with Thep - lies would flow from his lips with the grace and harmony of song lyrics from a love ballad flowing from a singers lips, and done so without missing a beat or hint of insincerity. Later he would make amends for his lies in one way or another, but actually admitting to telling a lie never once entered his conscious mind. In ThepтАЩs eyes - protecting his own self-image was just as important, or possibly even more important than protecting his public image. The mystery as to why this was the case took several more years to begin to unravel.
Below is some interesting writing on the same subject published by sex.com who are to be credited here:
Culture of Face and Shame
Thailand is a society that operates around the construction and presentation of positive images (phap-phot) and in which public exposure of a reality (khwam-jing) that contradicts these images, even when its truth is widely known, is often a source of scandal. In some cases, such as lese majesty laws relating to defamation of the monarchy, Thai law punishes those who damage the public image of a hallowed institution, even when the revelation may be generally known to be true. In Thailand truth is only occasionally a sufficient justification for publicly exposing an unpleasant reality. Those Thais who "buck the system", "make waves" or draw attention to the contradictions between public images and private realities, are often subjected to legal and extra-legal sanctions, and "going public" on a controversial issue can be a dangerous enterprise in Thailand. For example, Thai journalists writing about local political and business affairs for regional newspapers have historically suffered high assassination rates, with local "godfathers" (jao-phor), "influential figures" (khon mi itthiphon) and "dark forces" (amnat meut) allegedly with connections to the military, police, local government and business interests often dominating local affairs. Interpreting Thai politics, society and culture is therefore a complex and often tedious task of piecing together disparate facts, and there is often a disparity between what one needs to know in order to be an informed observer of Thai affairs and what it is possible to publish or say in public.
In everyday life, Thais rarely judge their actions by any abstract criterion of right or wrong, sin, or virtue. Instead, within the culture of maintaining positive images, they are much more concerned with how they appear to others and how they measure up to others' expectations. Thus, "rightness" and "wrongness" tend to be socially specific rather than morally abstract notions within Thai culture, being more closely aligned with notions of propriety than of sin.
In this context, loss of face is often a devastating experience for a Thai man or woman. Loss of face is much more than an embarrassment, because it means that one has been judged inappropriate, whether in action, appearance or word, and entails loss of the esteem of others. Thai has a rich vocabulary to refer to shame and embarrassment that draws on the notion of "face" (na); for example, sia na ("to have one's face damaged") тАУ to lose face; khai na ("to sell one's face") тАУ to lose face, to do something shameful; na na ("to be thick faced") тАУ to be thick-skinned, to be shameless or untouched by other's views of one's behaviour; na taek ("for one's face to break") тАУ to suffer a minor embarrassment.
The importance of keeping up appearances, and the presentation of a public face of politeness, unobtrusiveness, calmness, and respectfulness, is, as Daniel Wit (1968:61-62) observes, not just a phenomenon of social interaction, but something that influences many Thais' self-image.
A Thai does not wish to lose "face"тАФbe obviously embarrassed or otherwise have his dignity or status impaired. This attitude may go so far as his not wanting to engage in a private self-analysis whose result might be inimical to his own self image.
When so much social value is placed on conforming to expectations of appropriateness, there is very little support for expressions of individuality or eccentricity within traditional Thai culture. In Thailand "being oneself" or "finding oneself" are not culturally sanctioned pursuits, or justifications for individual or eccentric behaviour. Being appropriate or conforming is by far the dominant social ethic. The Thai individual does exist but, in Niels Mulder's (1979:108) words, he "is used to seeing himself and others as members of groups or according to the social attributes of position". In a society based on collective or group values, what others think of oneтАФand not simply how others act in relation to oneтАФbecomes a significant social force for ensuring conformity. Loss of face or social standing is consequently often perceived as a personal tragedy, and so the threat of loss of face exerts a major coercive force.
All credit for the above belong to Sexworks.com