PDA

View Full Version : Getting Out



martin911
March 5th, 2012, 15:18
Last nite i had a pleasant suprise when a dear old friend from Chonburi made a suprise visit to us on his way home from Phitsanoluk --- (you are so right about the hair Colmx - slowly slowly !! ) --he prob misread destination at VC where he boarded the minibus -- :laughing3:

He had been up that part of Thailand attending a short course on plant tissue cultures /seed germination -- (not something many bar boys hanker after ) --but still managed to fit in sex with 3 boys (all together ,as he said his time was short,the little rascal ) - all met via camfrog :hello2:

I met this boy 15 odd months or so - when one nite in T &T he turned to me and asked could he go home with me !! (he never was shy )
Home he came with me along with My Bf and a few others -- that afternoon he came swimming with me in the small pool where i live --and he asked me if it was ok if he could stay in the house until 7 -then he had to go to work in his bar
-- i said yes -- and it ended up that he stayed a little longer than 7 that evening -- lol 13 odd months later he was still here !!
It just sort of evolved -i had spare rooms in house /my Bf liked him but was in Bkk at uni all week /the guy himself is a real diamond --so we asked him to come and stay and he jumped at it --i wont make any bones about it-it was a sexual thing at first for me and bf
But i only paid him the first few offs -- and as we became more friends all that play stopped - (a month at most )

He had been bar boy from 16 - fell out with mama and came to the bright lights of Pattaya - -and was just legal age when i met him -after 2 years he had nothing!!!!! Nothing -- no farang paying him money reg /damm all clothes /no fancy phone etc ----But one thing he has in abundance is his personality :bounce: --- there is just something about him that makes you smile --and i truly can say we had so much laughter and fun with him when he lived here
He spoke passable english when first here ,i bought talking dic for us and as my own guy was pretty fluen so within a few months we could talk/laugh /joke for hours --

He had his own key from day one ,acess to all in the house -my laptop /watch /wallet/ I- Touch etc were never locked away from him -- i trusted him from the start -- and he never let me down in that (so not ALL bar boys are the thieving boys some portray them to be !!!( but i have had a few bad experiences with others )

It was not all plain sailing --he developed a taste for the scourge of many boys in Pattaya -Ice !!
It seemed to happen one time i was away for 2 weeks or so -- and it was easy to see the change in him over a month
He went from a bright smiling bundle of energy to someone that withdrew from the rest of us in the house ,staying in his room a lot ,not eating etc --- i really did not know how to deal with it - i asked all in the house and others how best (i found the other thai boys did not lot of empathy for him ,-he was a little bad with them a few times ,borrow money etc /not repay etc --- but i did not want to confront him and risk him leaving ,thus losing any chance to help him ---- but he knew i was so mad at him for what he was doing --

Then one morning after we came home from a club - he sat down and told me "Martin i stop play ice 6 days now "(the others in house told me that he did this for me , I had been good to him and for him -- and he knew it was upsetting me what he was doing )
So we talked it out --he had played The damm thing before and had stopped (before he moved in to house ) so he said he could do same again - and he did !!! he shunned all friends that played ice ,for the cravings he ate chocolate instead -- i was buying a 6pack of kitkat a day ,he hardly left my side while this was going on -even some mornings (which was when it was worse ) he came and slept in my bed , he didnt want to sleep alone and i did want him rambling out ---- and gradually we got got through it !!

And we got our usual happy fun to be with pal back :love4:

All through the time he lived with us he still worked the bar/gay romeo system -- but not so often -i guess he had a lot of his needs covered here food/bed/whiskey etc --and it never cost me a thought -- he repayed me over and over just by knowing him --

Although his family is only a short distance away he had No contact with them- so sad to see this -then at new year his Gmother passed t,and he went home for funeral --and it seems the relationship has been repaired - he came back in early Jan and moved home - His mama has some flower growing buisness and he has started working with her (hence the Phits visit )
I wasnt sure if he would stay or not but fingers crossed its working so far --time will tell i guess

He has visited us twice -on feb 14 (he stayed 2 nites and went home ) and last nite --and as i watched him go out the door earlier today ,backpack with his books /laptop -- with something concrete (for now ) to do apart from working the bar system in pattaya i had to hold back the tears -- i l love him like a little brother at this stage the brat
And il keep my fingers crossed that he is able to forge some type of life different to what he did in pattaya for 4 years :wave: :wave:

newalaan
March 5th, 2012, 16:19
Great little story Martin. I'm sure many of us here can offer up similar stories where a really nice boy has fallen for the drug route, but unlike your ending the vast majority never 'get back' only finally disappear from view completely.

There was only one boy who i was very sad to see unable to recover himself from the hell that is drug addiction (as opposed to simple drug use). A sweet 18 year old working at Blue House when i first met him, almost daily as I headed along soi day/night 2 from the Flamingo, this would be 6 years ago+. Just chatting as i passed turned into him spending time at the Flamingo with me. Ta, the boss at Blue House was very kind to me with the boys attendance at 'work'.

Anyway I left Thailand, to return 3 months later, having kept in touch with 'A' but not supporting him in any way. The change after just 3 months was incredible. He was dark around the eyes, his demenour had changed completely, he was very nervy and agitated all the time. Slowly news filtered through to me from various sources that he was indeed hooked. I gave it a try to help him, but it was clear he was far too far gone even at that time, between the drugs, the mafia men, and the 'types' he now hung out with. I dropped him like a stone. I didn't have any deep feelings for him as such, he was just another guy i had met on the merry-go-round of Pattaya fun. I know many do persevere with guys on drugs they care for or love and that is commendable, but they can drag you right down with them if you are not careful. Being a social worker is NOT why i visited Thailand, it was to recharge my batteries for returning to run my companies back home, setting up another heap of worries while on holiday is insane.

Despite being in the grip of drugs and the drugs sideshow, he was still at heart a sweet guy, or so i thought. He had lived with me for days at a time, able to come and go as he pleased never stole or gave me ridiculous stories to gey money. So I was absolutely shocked when one long time poster on the gay forums, posted on a thread about dangeroues boys and he posted a picture of 'A' telling the story of how he knew 'A' and one night 'A' and an accomplace attacked him at his condo and robbed him using broken bottles to injure and threaten him. He was very lucky to escape with his life. This was an experienced long time Pattaya resident who knew heaps of boys, I couldn't believe it was 'A'. And the attack had happened just around one of the times 'A' had also been ocassionally staying overnight with me.

I did recognise he was hooked, but never in a thousand years would I have put him down as a violent theif, it just really shows the extremes to which drugs can push you. I'm glad that Martins guy got back from the edge and great you got the real guy back without 'too much' pain.

Dodger
March 5th, 2012, 17:02
Martin...


Great story with a positive outcome which you obviously contributed to...well done!

Unfortunately, I wasn't as observant as you and lacked awareness of my bf's problem (yaba) until it was too late. If anything else his constant mood swings, which were uncharacteristic of him, should have told me that something was wrong. In all honesty I just attributed this to those damn hormone pills he was taking - understanding that one of the most pronounced side effects of taking hormones is mood swings. I remained totally ignorant of his drug problem for several years and will forever be mystified as to how he could have hid this from me for that long of a period.

As you probably know, my bf was incarcerated for drug possesion and is now paying the price dearly for his addiction. I only get to see him through glass for 15 minutes a day when in LOS which isn't much time - but enough time to see him reverting back to the guy I knew before the drugs came into the picture. His term in prison is nearing its end, and hopefully, with the grace of Buddha and a good tail wind, his life will remain drug-free and we can begin the re-building of our lifes which have become polarized by this event.

I think if your friend stays home near his family and distances himself from the drug scene(s) he will be just fine.

Ironic how it was you who planted a seed and watched a flower grow - which is supposed to be his hobby!

Good luck going forward.

colmx
March 6th, 2012, 06:34
But one thing he has in abundance is his personality :bounce: --- there is just something about him that makes you smile --and i truly can say we had so much laughter and fun with him when he lived here

Haha thats for sure... I just remember the night of my B'day back in January... as soon as we stepped into Stepup he was up on the DJ box...with his cap hiding the recent monk shaved head... and moving like he owned the place... moments later the place was hopping... he is like a fun magnifier!

Tell him he better be back for the foam parties at Songkran... i'm sure him mother can spare him for a few days!

martin911
March 7th, 2012, 12:28
Thats one thing he wont rush back for ---- he hates getting wet (which was why i was als calling him to the balcony door of his room and spraying him if I was cleaning the patio area -- til he got wise )
Rem his friend Jonny ? -- the two of them were with me at the dec foam party -- the table was right at the door -- any time the foam came near them the two shrieked like little girls -- or ran out the door if i made a move to drag them in to the foam !! )

No il tell him its your Bday again your next trip (he did come back for your last Bday rem :laughing3: :laughing3: )

Beachlover
March 15th, 2012, 23:53
Nice story, Martin... good to see the guy progressed to a more constructive and meaningful existence away from that scene.

martin911
March 17th, 2012, 00:21
Nice story, Martin... good to see the guy progressed to a more constructive and meaningful existence away from that scene.


haha its back !!