Craziest Items Used as Lubricant

[Neal]

So we are trying to have a little fun here and on the other thread. Butterflap accused me tonight over dinner of trying to be like Gay Button and create threads. Humph! Looking at the butter I thought of this one time when I was in my 20's or 30's. No lube so I ordered room service with toast an butter!

OK now I know many of you are in your (hrumph) 30's and 40's but you all have been in an emergency situation with no regular run of the mill lubricants.
In this situation I can readily beieve that you have all reach for and tried different "things" to compensate for the lack of LUBE.
So what have you tried? :hah: :hah:

CHAPSTICK!!!

[lukylok]

Shaving soap !

But I have declined the use of tiger balm .......

[jinks]

In the dark grabbed the VIC by mistake.

A British chest rub for nasal problems. BURNS Too !

[Neal]

I know when I was young (was fucking around when I was about 10 ish, we will save that for another thread!) I tried toothpaste. No good! LOL! What can I tell you I was about 10 and wanted to get plowed and had nothing!

Another time I was in a 5 star hotel in Atlanta Ga and had no lube so I ordered toast with butter! I have not idea what the maid that when she cleaned the room the next morning and saw FINGER MARKS in the butter! Doesn't work well! :sign5: Ooops! I see I already told that story above! :tongue3:

[christianpfc]

What can I tell you I was about 10 and wanted to get plowed and had nothing!
10? Ten? When I was 10 (in words: ten) years old, I was not aware that there are other uses for a penis than peeing.

There was one occasion where a Thai friend wanted to use vaseline or suncream instead of lube, I declined.

Safety advice: Condoms can be damaged by oil-containing substances (this includes all kinds of creams and massage oil), therefore only liquids intended for this purpose should be used.

[Marsilius]

Germolene was the only thing to hand. It stings.

[Dodger]

Log Cabin Maple Syrup...

Not very good as a lubricant - but puts a mouth-watering sparkle around his anal aperture...and sooooooo yummy to lick.

[paulo15]

Trombone slide oil... Actually worked well, so if you're ever stuck with a brass band in upper Bavaria...

[Yraen]

Good, old fashioned saliva. Never fails :love4:

[Smiles]

Nothing to do with the thread or subject at hand. Deleted per rules and guidelines as flamimg. DaBoss

[newalaan]

Good, old fashioned saliva. Never fails Can't comment on 'crazy' lubes, but with you there on saliva one Yraen, it's the only lube my bf will use nowadays, he told me to stop buying commercial lube years ago as he will not use it, hates it! in fact he describes it as too 'messy', loves the 'natural' lube. One of the reasons he likes the natural one is that an instant horny moment can be acted upon with minimum fuss and zero notice. A "Martini (anytime/anyplace/anywhere) Time" opportunity can be seized without irritating side-issues such as having to find lube first. Also he says it also contains the exact friction-to-lubrication mix which suits him.
Nothing to do with the thread or subject at hand. Deleted per rules and guidelines as flamimg. DaBossFlaming Nora, Da Boss! a little 'poke' from Smiles can hardly be classed as 'flaming'.

[jinks]

Nothing to do with the thread or subject at hand. Deleted per rules and guidelines as flamimg. DaBoss

OH MY GOSH !!!!! Smiles flaming (spelt correctly) ..... It's the end of the world as we know it !

P.S. While the rules are being noted :- What has this thread got to do with Thailand ?

P.S. While the rules are being noted :- What has this thread got to do with Thailand ?

It's the only place on Earth that many SGT members get the opportunity to use lube.

:occasion9:

[bkkguy]

P.S. While the rules are being noted :- What has this thread got to do with Thailand ?

DaBoss was hoping someone would admit to using Durian juice as a lube?

bkkguy

[markie1]

My first experience was Butter Loll,at just sweet 16 .i really never thought about it ,untill after the dreaded dead was done.

[joe552]

Well someone has to ask - what is Butter Loll?

My only experience involved alcohol flavoured spit!

My first experience was Butter Loll,at just sweet 16 .i really never thought about it ,untill after the dreaded dead was done.

just out of intrest how old was you before you had sex with a living person ??

[Neal]

I know I started experimenting around 8 or 10 ish.

I know I started experimenting around 8 or 10 ish.

I think you need to read Brithai's post again (and the quote from markie) :sign5:

[Neal]

I'm insulted and taking my toys and going home!

I'm insulted and taking my toys and going home!

Leave the 12inch black one (with realistic skin texture and full squirting action), will you?

:evil4:

I know I started experimenting around 8 or 10 ish.
am or pm ?
cheers scotty .. glad to know someones on the ball

[Neal]

8 or 10 ish like in years poofie!
And as far as leavng my12" behind..... well its behind where the 12" goes!! :sign5:

[topjohn5]

Pam (spray cooking oil) and another spray oil....WD-40....
both work just fine......

Pam (spray cooking oil) and another spray oil....WD-40....
both work just fine......

I have a can of WD40 right here - it says "HIGHLY FLAMMABLE" - my advice would be not to shag too fast.............friction can lead to combustion you know.

And any post-coital cigarette is out of the question too.

:party

[christianpfc]

and another spray oil....WD-40....
That's a lubricating oil based on hydrocarbons! I would rather wank than getting such stuff near my dick or butt or someone elses dick or butt, even if protected by a condom (which can get damaged by oil).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WD-40

It further lists flammability and effects to the human skin when repeatedly exposed to WD-40 as risks when using WD-40. Nitrile rubber gloves and safety glasses should be used. Water is unsuitable for extinguishing burning WD-40.

[topjohn5]

LOL, No, wanking was not an option....I was 17 and the boy in question who was naked and holding the can in my face was a 15 year old and blonder version of Jonathan Brandis in his prime.....he could have had black axle grease or bacon fat in his hands for all I cared at the time...no condoms and it was glorious. Ah, youth,,,how I survived I'll never know.

[martin911]

Chocolate Ice cream !!!!!!

Only found out about its lubricant abilities lately --you learn something new everyday so they say !!!

Wall's Dreamy Creamy brand to be precise--

Was not planned (often the best things are not i have found :happy7: )

The Ice cream was being used for eating purposes only (i have als thought cock tastes so much nicer with a dollop of ice ream on top :tongue3: ) and events took over and i started to Fxxk with it !!
You know how they say chocolate is an aphrodisiac --- damm right it is !!!! -- (partly explains the 8 hours Colmx !! )

As i said to my little demon im going to be taking a much closer look at the freezer dept in foodland/friendship supermarkets for different flavours from now on !!!

[anonone]

Happy that worked out for you Martin. I am not sure I could get past the visual. Not sure chocolate is the best visual choice for lubing up the ass.

I guess it could be worse...I shudder to think about rocky road :sign5:

[Wesley]

I know for a fact boss Butter works really well, really well, and you can lick before and after .

[martin911]

Anon -- the damm chocolate was all over his dark skinned body at the start and as i said events took over -- but the effect was very enjoyable -
-although we have since moved on to strawberry !! (same brand ) --less sticky !!!

[James Barnes]

Many years ago, we hosted a house party in London and a couple of guests had imbibed a little too much to leave. They shared a bedroom and things got very friendly. One of them remembered spotting some KY in the guest bathroom cabinet and ventured into the dark to enable a smooth passage.

In the morning light, they discovered that a tube of Immac (a hair removal cream) was what had been used. The top guy admitted that it had stung a bit and the bottom guy said that he had been f*****d bald!

[netrix]

hair serum. i think it's pretty much the same stuff. lube works good as a hair product too for taming the frizzies. just sayin...

I doubt that hair products will be of much interest (or much use) to the majority of SGT members.

:evil4:

[donald1]

Not sure if this is crazy but it was different. I had a cute Asian f@#kbuddy back when i was in my 30's and we would get together obout once a month for some fun. One day i invited him to come over for lunch the next day and asked him to bring Ice cream to go with my desert. After lunch we went to the bedroom where I had neatly laid out pineapple rings, hot fudge sauce, bananas and whipped cream. we got naked and little did I know what an epicurean chef I was. I proceeded to put 2 pineapple rings around his dick (without using my hands of course) and one pineapple ring encircling each nipple and one around his bellybutton. I filled the pineapple centers with slightly melted ice cream and left it there as I blew him with a mouthful of cold ice cream. After him squirming with delight I ate the ice cream and proceeded to fill my mouth and pineapple rings with hot fudge sauce. Then repeated with the whipped cream, everywhere to be licked off. Again, he loved it. all the time doing that I had peeled a banana and was attempting to stick it you know where.
Now getting to the point of this thread... the banana was too ripe and wouldn't go in but got smooched up all around the hole and I used the mashed up banana for lube. Worked great (and its Vegan too). After we were all spent I probably gained 10 pounds but we certainly have never had as good a lunch as that one..

Very creative, Donald

[anonone]

hair serum. i think it's pretty much the same stuff. lube works good as a hair product too for taming the frizzies. just sayin...

Not a new thought, though I have not tried it myself....

http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx?itemnum=1839