Tell us All About Gay Issan

[Neal]

There are many people travelling all around Thailand and yet have not experienced Gay Issan. If you live there or have spent a considerable time there, please share your favorites and not so favorite for those of us who have not been there yet or who are planning on coming to Gay Thailand and have not yet decided which cities they wish to visit.

[cdnmatt]

There isn't really such a thing as "Gay Issan" though. I guess you can find your odd sauna or massage place, but hardly anything I'd call a gay scene, and that's one of the things I love about here.

You know, back in Canada I was known as the "gay guy", and that was simply part of my identity, because that's just the way things work over there. Here though, the only time I'm consciously aware that I'm a "gay guy" is a) when I read this board, and b) when I talk to farangs in town. People around here such as the neighbors will judge me on a wide array of things, such as what I eat, what I drink, if I'm rich or poor, fat or skinny, how often I go out, how clean the house is kept, how well the dogs are taken care of, how I dress, and so on... However, being gay simply never seems to enter the equation when it comes to passing judgement on the type of person I am. And I like that. It's how it should be.

And that's why there's no real gay scene in Issan. Nobody views gay people as a different segment of the population, like they do in the West.

[thrillbill]

Not much posting. Tell you that there isn't a lot of "farang-local" action since there are not "gay places" to meet other gays. The locals know who is, so you need someone locally to tell you "who is gay"...

[danny99]

People around here such as the neighbors will judge me on a wide array of things, such as what I eat, what I drink, if I'm rich or poor, fat or skinny, how often I go out, how clean the house is kept, how well the dogs are taken care of, how I dress, and so on... However, being gay simply never seems to enter the equation when it comes to passing judgement on the type of person I am. And I like that. It's how it should be. Nobody views gay people as a different segment of the population, like they do in the West.

Nothing to do with this subject but your comments reminded me of what it was like when I was growing up in suburban working class Sydney in the 50's.... most of the boys played games but no one talked about it. Homosexual was something that you only read about in the Sunday papers [back page, scanned avidly].

'Gay' was being happy.

Then what happened? A mob of Queens started prancing about in what became the Gay Mardi Gras, sticking it in everybody's face. They created the 'them' and 'us' mentality! Incite to riot, gay bashings, now we have it all!

This is off-topic but a direct response to the comment above.

Danny, I doubt that Sydney is much different to the rest of the civilised world so I have no hesitation in pointing out that you are talking utter shite.

The "them and us mentality" of which you write was propagated centuries, millenia, ago - you know, in the days when "they" routinely burned, stoned, tortured, killed, maimed, imprisoned, blackmailed, and shunned, "us". It was not provoked by a bunch of "prancing Queens" in 1950's Australia.

The situation for most gay people in most civilised Countries nowadays (although far from ideal) is far better than it was 50 years ago - almost always thanks to the minority of "prancing Queens" in each Country who had the courage to do what silent majority were afraid/unable to - i.e.make themselves visible and demand their human rights.

If YOU would rather live a1950's lie, maybe with a wife & kids for appearance's sake, whilst fiddling with your pals in the garden shed or public lavatories, and in mortal fear of being blackmailed by a sexual partner, or arrested by the Police, or "found out" by relatives, friends, neighbours, workmates then feel free, but count me out - I don't want to have to participate in a masquerade, or to wear those rose-tinted specs you are obviously so fond of.

:occasion9:

[cdnmatt]

Yeah, I was kinda left scratching my head about that too. I grew up in a small redneck town, and it didn't matter if you were a prancing queen or not. If you were found out to be gay, you would have lost all your friends, got a good beating (many times over, probably), and become the ridicule of the town.

Nowadays in Canada, all depending where you are I guess, it's good. It's no problem being gay. Nonetheless, I like it here much better. Nobody cares in the slightest, and if anyone ever does, we can compare bank accounts. :-)

Well getting a little off topic from Issan but in line with above, I will have to say that thanks to those few prancing queens as well as a lot of other things, I do believe that all of us have grown up in the best of the best of times that may ever be. Having the Stonewall Revolution, as well as having most of the things one can desire may be looked back on with jealousy. Not having to figure out how to raise animals for food, fish maybe scarce in the polluted oceans,
air that is so thick with crap that you may have too many problems breathing it or too much sun because of the ozone layer disappearing? Well I am not trying to start an argument here but I know at least for myself that these floods getting higher and higher, islands disappearing because water level is getting too high, so many other things, its because natural resources etc are disappearing.
I have no problems not wanting to live too much more into the future and reminiscing about the times that I lived in but I do feel partially responsible & regret for what is happening. Just that's my thoughts and don't kill me for them.

[danny99]

This is off-topic but a direct response to the comment above.

Danny, I doubt that Sydney is much different to the rest of the civilised world so I have no hesitation in pointing out that you are talking utter shite.
:

Obviously suburban working class Sydney in the 50's was a world apart from the sreets of Glasgow..why are the Scots so renowned for their violence?

....why are the Scots so renowned for their violence?

Prejudice?

A trait you display extremely clearly - both in that snide remark (which has nothing whatsoever to do with the issue at hand) and in your dismissal of courageous people as "prancing Queens"

Now, can we get back to the TOPIC please.

:occasion9:

[danny99]

Ever been to Glasgow on a saturday night?

Or been in a bar in London's West End when a young Glaswegian smashes a glass pint mug against the bar and puts it in someones face, because he didn't like the way he was being looked at?

etc. etc

I love Isaan..my favourite place in Thailand
i dont know if you would call Isaan gay but my bf lives in Issan ....and most people in his village know we are together and no one minds.

[markie1]

I love Isaan..my favourite place in Thailand
i dont know if you would call Isaan gay but my bf lives in Issan ....and most people in his village know we are together and no one minds.
WEll i also enjoy Isan ,my partner comes from Surin ,well just outside in the country village ,We both enjoy returning back to Village life and often spend a few days in Surin,although no gay bars there ,you do see many gays especially in the night club ,its fun place for a few days .

yes..there's no gay night life in the vilages of isaan...but its a nice place to relax away from the gay hotspots of Thailand..unless your working in the rice/mushroom fields ha ha

and most people in his village know we are together and no one minds.One of the boys I went with says many Thais do mind but they dont say anything to your face because it wouldnt be polite to be confronting.

[joe552]

BrisbaneGuy, that's the impression I got when I went to Isaan with a boy I'd met in a bar. I stayed in a hotel while he stayed with his family. It didn't seem that he wanted me to stay in his village (I was quite happy to stay in a hotel, rather than the home his parents lived in). I don't know how he explained our "relationship" to his parents - I acted as if he was my tour guide, which seemed to satisfy everyone.

I sometimes wonder about these stories of farangs being welcomed into the bosom of an Isaan family and village. Like you say, what lies behind the 'face' may be totally different, and how would we ever know?

We stayed in a bungalow near his village and sometimes at his family house..he told me before we went to his home his family and relations and friends wanted to meet me and he was true to his word everybody treated me really nice
we all eat together and go round to diffrent houses in the village drink and socialise..even play football with the local lads
one of the local teachers is in the man city fan club so me being a city fan i said i'd bring city shirt back for him

[cdnmatt]

One of the boys I went with says many Thais do mind but they dont say anything to your face because it wouldnt be polite to be confronting.

That's one of the great things about Thailand. People know to keep their opinions to themselves. :-)

Most don't care, because they have their own worries in life. However, some definitely do, but like you said, they keep their mouths shut.

[cdnmatt]

We stayed in a bungalow near his village and sometimes at his family house..he told me before we went to his home his family and relations and friends wanted to meet me and he was true to his word everybody treated me really nice
we all eat together and go round to diffrent houses in the village drink and socialise..even play football with the local lads
one of the local teachers is in the man city fan club so me being a city fan i said i'd bring city shirt back for him

Have to ask, did you pay for everything? Or did everyone chip in their own money for food, drinks, etc.? If you have money, friends are extremely easy to find in Issan. No worries there.

This is why I didn't goto the village today for Songkran. Kim's.... not pissed off, but hurt, although understanding. It's just I already know what would happen. We'd show up, say hi to the family, and there'd be 6 of us. However, within an hour word will have spread there's a farang in town, and 30 people would show up. Then the next thing I know everyone is pressuring Kim into providing, so Kim has no choice but to ask me, and I have no choice but to agree, especially since it's Songkran. At the end of the day, I'm out 10,000 baht, and didn't even have a good time, because everyone took advantage due to my white skin.

This way, if Kim goes alone, he has 3000 baht, which is more than enough, and I know more won't get spent. Much better! It's not so much the money I care about (although I do), but the principle of the matter. I understand they're poor, but if I seen everyone chipping in their 50, 100, 200 baht here and there, I wouldn't have a problem pitching in 6000 baht. However, they don't do that. They see white skin, put their best smile on, and expect a free ride. Sucks, because these people are supposed to be my in-laws, and I'm supposed to be able to love them. And it definitely sucks for Kim even more.

[anonone]

BrisbaneGuy, that's the impression I got when I went to Isaan with a boy I'd met in a bar. I stayed in a hotel while he stayed with his family. It didn't seem that he wanted me to stay in his village (I was quite happy to stay in a hotel, rather than the home his parents lived in). I don't know how he explained our "relationship" to his parents - I acted as if he was my tour guide, which seemed to satisfy everyone.

I sometimes wonder about these stories of farangs being welcomed into the bosom of an Isaan family and village. Like you say, what lies behind the 'face' may be totally different, and how would we ever know?

I have gone to Isaan with BF to visit his family. We stayed together in hotel at night, but spent time with the family and met the neighbors, had a party at the house, and all was fine. As Matt has already said, buy a bottle of whiskey and some beer and you have all sorts of friends.

But at other times, on many occasions, Mom and/or sister have paid short visits with us in Pattaya, including going out for dinner...... and then drinks at a Sunee bar. :occasion5: (It was BF and family's suggestion. I would have never suggested it.) I don' think they would do this if they were merely tolerating me or our relationship. It was a really fun time, comfortable for all and the staff was very welcoming and kind to them.

Like most things, I think it depends on the individuals involved and it is difficult to make general conclusions. There are differing levels of acceptance among family members.
I do think that most of the time in Isaan village life, it is "don't ask, don't tell" and all is fine.

it was a sharing sort of situation....they provided the food...i bought a few xtra bits of food...from local market..it was very cheep so did'nt mind...when we got together with his friends..i'd buy a bottle of wiskey then when that run out they would buy one so that went on all night....like buying rounds with your friends.
i did buy a couple of water cans for his mom for the fields..but they were only 350 bhat.
in the last week i ran short of money so my bf asked his mom if she would lend me some money
she loaned me 3000 bhat..and i sent it to them when i got back
my bf and his family know i'm not rich but he says he loves me very much and rather be with me than a rich guy he did'nt get on with.
yes i do pay when we we stay in places like pattaya..but when i worked it out i spend more when i'm out with friends in the uk
when you think how much some guys have to give their wives..i think i have a very good deal.

[nanette]

One can find many Isan gays on gayromeo. It is almost possilbe to meet someone in each provincial city. Some are for hire. However many are shy to speak engish but are still keen to meet strangers. Since Thais everywhere like to have fun, the local discos are well patronised & always with a good percentage of gays/ladyboys.

[Wesley]

I generally share with everyone unless it is expected. If I invite them great if not they better be able to pay thier own way. I just tell my waiter who can go on my tab, My Bf is never going to tell anyone he is my bf, he is supposed to be my nurse ha ha. he takes care of me alright. When we go on a trip he pays for it, go to the mall he pays for it. I kinda like the situation I am in right now.