Expats who live in Thailand but have narrow exposure to it

[Beachlover]

An interesting topic was raised on another thread so thought I'd start a new thread instead of dragging that one further off topic.

Got to say, I totally agree with this Brisboy82's statement below.

I don't live in Thailand. I've only visited Thailand a bit over a dozen times and spent total of maybe six months there all up. I have a lot of Thai friends outside Thailand too. I try to learn as much as I can from people who live there and Thais themselves as I do for a lot of countries I explore in Asia.

That's about all I can do without living there. So I accept lots of foreigners - especially those living there - would or should know more about Thailand than me.

But I'm amazed at some of the stuff that gets said by posters on these forums who live there! It indicates their perspective and experience of the country and its people is unbelievably limited and often of the lower end. They have an incredibly narrow exposure to the cross-section of Thai society...

I just think this is quite sad considering Thailand is the country they've chosen to make their home.... what do you think?


Kjun12 is just trying to make himself look like he knows more than others because he presumably lives in Thailand (which doesn't necessarily make one an expert as there's plenty of expats in Thailand who live in such a sheltered sexpat world that they actually know nothing about Thailand and as a whole even after being there for decades. The ignorance of some long term expats is astounding).

[cdnmatt]

Welcome to Thailand! Exact same thing happens up here too, and that's how many of the expats live. Grab an over-priced condo in the expat area, walking distance to a mega mall, and a bunch of Western style bars and restaurants. Then just live out there lives there, only eat at Western places, goto the bars every night, flirt with the waitresses, hang out with their clicks of farang friends who do the same, etc.

Not that it's a bad thing though, and I can understand it. Lots of these guys are on the older side, and just want to live their lives in peace & comfort, while enjoying good weather & people. They're not interested in learning a new culture, or changing their ways any, which is fine with me. I wouldn't want to do it, but hey, whatever floats their boat. However, it does get on my nerves when they begin dictating life in Thailand and Thai people to me though.

On the flip side, I should mention, there's loads of guys old and young who do the exact opposite. They decide same as Kim and myself, that if you're going to live in Thailand, you should probably go live with the Thais. So they grab a house in a Thai area, grab their food from the street markets instead of Tesco, and simply live basically the same as any Thai family (except usually with alot more money). Besides, it's not like there's any mind blowing differences between how middle class Thais and Westerners live. Or maybe there is, and I'm just so used to it all, I think of it as normal now. These type of expats obviously, you generally don't see when you're just visiting. For example, if someone came for a trip to KK, there's a about a 0.005% chance they would see me.

The one pet peeve I have though is the people who live here, but don't put any effort into learning Thai. I've met people who have lived here for 25 years, and still can't even tell the time in Thai yet. We all complain about immigrants in our home countries who can't speak English, but we supposedly get a free pass because we're farangs and this is Thailand, or something? If you're going to live in a foreign country for the long-term, then at least put the effort in to learn the language.

wow how very intersting is that ... congrats matt ... you finally have nothing to moan about with the thai people now ... (stopped shitting on your floors have they??)
so decide to moan about expats instead ... why dont you cut the pretence and admit you dont like living there and go home ... if you was anymore plastic im sure the sun would start to melt you :violent1:

Matt has a point though - as a 2 week tourist there's little shame in eating at Sizzler or McDonald every night and drinking nothing other than Budweiser.

If however you have made the choice to relocate to Thailand permanently - some committment to adaptation and integration might be reasonably expected.

:occasion9:

[adman5000]

I can identify with both ends of the spectrum. For the person who wants to (and mentally can) live their culture I congratulate them. For the person who says f*** it, I want to live here, but do it my way, I also understand a bit.

Each time I visit Thailand, there is one key background question that I am constantly evaluating- тАЬWould I enjoy living here.тАЭ I do not yet have a clear answer to this question. I can find an area with good weather, it is certainly affordable, good medical, seems to be a never-ending supply of handsome guys, and I can eat Thai food most days. But can I mentally adapt?. I feel a lot of it depends on which end of the above spectrum I adopt.

For me personally, I would have to learn more of the language. I can manage with a bar boy or taxi driver who knows no English, but I still miss out on a lot of words. This trip I stayed several weeks in a guesthouse with a Thai family that spoke no English and I did ok, but would have felt much less isolated if I spoke some Thai.

I also find myself becoming more sensitive to being mentally or verbally pointed out as the farang, and would love to interact with a more comprehensive command of Thai. The people are so delighted when they hear me speak Thai and kindly tell me I speak it well. I know they are being generous.

I very rarely speak with another farang. This trip I did speak with a non-English farang who also spoke English and was visiting the family of his Thai wife. He badly needed to speak with another farang! I also spoke to a farang bar-owner several times, who seemed to mainly depend on his Thai manager. The rest of the time I spent speaking with the Thai people. Many of those wanted to practice English and with some, I just wanted to practice my Thai.

I concluded, that I would feel much more at ease if I spoke more Thai. So I plan to read one of the messages I saw about anotherтАЩs very detailed approach to learning Thai.. I liked some of his logic and will take a closer look at his post. I bought a book used to teach younger ages English, that is written also in Thai and organized by types of functional language of how to accomplish various everyday things, and I plan to use that as well.

I love learning the cultural aspects and although I appreciate the differences, I still find myself irked by certain things that are different than I am used to. For example:

Do any of the Thai women actually know where the f*** they are going? I must admit, rather than adopt the calm approach of changing my own direction and stepping by them; stop suddenly in front of me, and you will likely get stepped on. I want to get a T-shirt that says in Thai тАЬThis bus does not stop for pedestrians!тАЭ

Do you walk to the right or the left or not give a f***. If the Thai people, canтАЩt decide, I have adopted the later approach.

Please donтАЩt invite me to a Thai event, I simply donтАЩt have the patience. I canтАЩt listen to something I donтАЩt understand which seems to go on for hours. I especially donтАЩt like to do this in a tropical heat and humidity in full sun. Also, my legs donтАЩt bend the way yours do! But my fat ass does help when sitting on what they claim is a mat.

Who exactly is going to look at all the f***ing pictures we are taking?

Does anyone ever repair these sidewalks, make the curb height consistent, or think about how to make do with less steps in the movie theaters and bathrooms rather than more? YouтАЩre f***ed if youтАЩre handicapped in Thailand.

Is there a Thai word for тАЬplan aheadтАЭ or is it truly a foreign concept? Maybe this one is driven by the Buddhist focus on the present and a day to day existence given their own economic reality.

Oh well, I guess I will continue to learn Thai and adapt to their cultural norms to see if I can live there. :happy7: That is unless, I just loose my patience and say f*** it. :violent1:

[cdnmatt]

some committment to adaptation and integration might be reasonably expected.

Only if you want people to treat you like a human.


I also find myself becoming more sensitive to being mentally or verbally pointed out as the farang

Live in Thailand longer. Trust me, that goes away. And don't worry, they're not saying anything bad. At least I've never heard anyone say anything that'd hurt my feelings. For example, sometimes at the market I'll hear some laughing jeers over the fact I buy my dogs 200 baht worth of food for dinner (unheard of here, any why everyone wants to pawn their pups off on me), but they hardly mean that in a negative way.

I've come to learn that whole negative inclination thing is a Western concept, and not worldwide. In the West, if someone says something you don't understand, you just naturally assume it's negative, whereas here... I don't know what people think of it... nothing, really. Not good, not bad, and just talking.


I concluded, that I would feel much more at ease if I spoke more Thai. So I plan to read one of the messages I saw about anotherтАЩs very detailed approach to learning Thai.. I liked some of his logic and will take a closer look at his post. I bought a book used to teach younger ages English, that is written also in Thai and organized by types of functional language of how to accomplish various everyday things, and I plan to use that as well.

Only problem I find with this is, it's not how people talk. Things are good now, so I decided it was time to begin learning Thai again, and I went through two teachers in a week. They were both adamant about teaching from a book, and I was adamantly opposed of it. I already know what's in the book, don't need to learn it again, and besides, that's not how Thai people talk. Same as us. They don't say, "today, I will go home at 5 o'clock". No, they say, "yeah, I'll probably head home around 5", or whatever. Learning from books can teach you the basics, but not how to talk to Thais in day-to-day environment, and have a cordial bullshit with someone in Thai.


Is there a Thai word for тАЬplan aheadтАЭ or is it truly a foreign concept?

Foreign concept. For example, they buy their food for every meal. There's none of this stocking up for two weeks bullshit like in the West. Actually, when I grew up, we'd just buy half a cow at a time, and be good for 4 months. Not happening here. I even get laughs from people at the market. I guess they don't think I understand what they're saying, but every once in a while I'll hear, "see, farangs do eat alot! look, he's eating 6 chicken breasts for himself tonight!". Well, geez, they're not all for me, and they're not all for tonight. Depending on my mood, sometimes I'll chime in, and joke around with them.

Speaking of that, I have to goto the market, so will end this here.

[a447]

cdnmatt wrote:

Foreign concept. For example, they buy their food for every meal. There's none of this stocking up for two weeks bullshit like in the West.

Foreign concept? People in France and Japan go to the market every day and, from my experience, also don't keep much in the fridge. I was under the impression that going to the market every day was a social event for a lot of people, especially in Asia. Also the not stocking up thing is a result of people in the past not having electicity, I assume.

Matt has a point though - as a 2 week tourist there's little shame in eating at Sizzler or McDonald every night and drinking nothing other than Budweiser.

If however you have made the choice to relocate to Thailand permanently - some committment to adaptation and integration might be reasonably expected.

:occasion9:

i agree with you scotty .. if i was to move to thailand or anywhere else in the world im sure i would go out of my way to learn the lingo ... but i can assure you i wouldnt be walking around listening to all the other farang to see what language they where speaking ... then getting upset if it wasnt the local language..
i really woundnt give a flying fook about the others ... let alone get my knickers in a twist about it ..
still if thats all that people have to keep them busy thru the day then good luck to them.

[neoncrusade]

But I'm amazed at some of the stuff that gets said by posters on these forums who live there! It indicates their perspective and experience of the country and its people is unbelievably limited and often of the lower end. They have an incredibly narrow exposure to the cross-section of Thai society...



Why is that a surprise? How many of us can say that we expose ourselves to the cross section of society in our own countries? I don't try and mix with the upper classes here in England (they would look down their noses at me if I dared to try) and I wouldn't particularly want to go to my local council estate and try to act like 'one of the lads'.

As for learning the language, doesn't that depend or where in Thailand someone chooses to settle?

For instance, two weeks before christmas I went to Paris for a long weekend, and I had more trouble there as a non French speaker than I have ever had in Bangkok or Pattaya as a non Thai speaker.

[Beachlover]

But I'm amazed at some of the stuff that gets said by posters on these forums who live there! It indicates their perspective and experience of the country and its people is unbelievably limited and often of the lower end. They have an incredibly narrow exposure to the cross-section of Thai society...
Why is that a surprise? How many of us can say that we expose ourselves to the cross section of society in our own countries? I don't try and mix with the upper classes here in England (they would look down their noses at me if I dared to try) and I wouldn't particularly want to go to my local council estate and try to act like 'one of the lads'.
Good point! But you missed something...

I would say yes, most people are NOT regularly exposed to a broad cross section of society in their own countries. Most don't regularly mix with classes outside their own. But at least they're AWARE there ARE other segments of society outside their own! They probably know a bit about them and have SOME exposure to them too.

The difference between that and these expats I'm referring to in Thailand is the expats (not all, just the type referred to in the OP) aren't even AWARE of the other segments of Thai society, which they don't regularly mix with! They live in this little bubble and assume all Thais are like the ones they hang out with. Sometimes, the oblivious comments they make are almost offensive!


As for learning the language, doesn't that depend or where in Thailand someone chooses to settle?
I didn't say anything about language in the OP but will comment... I reckon Thailand is one of the easier countries to get around with English and not learning the local language in Asia... but if you were choosing to make the country your home, it makes sense to learn the local language they all speak. I think not doing so would say something about you as a person.

so do you as an ausie speak *aboriginal * beachy ?? or are you just having another shit throwing contest..
you belive when people move they should learn the language .. yet i bet you dont even talk your own mother tongue !
you should meet up with matt as you are two of the most offensive people ive never had the pleasure to come across :violent1:

[latintopxxx]

brithai are you doing your utmost to be as annoying as possible?? Is it not clear that ONLY English is needed when in Australia or New Zealand for that matter.
The local populance has either being slaughtered or fucked out of existence. Unlike Thailand where Thai is the main language and living there without speaking it means that you don't capture the full experience, you are always at a disadvantage, in Australia speaking a native aboriginal language would bring minimal benefit to say the most.
Do you comprehend...

[pong]

I've come to learn that whole negative inclination thing is a Western concept, and not worldwide. In the West, if someone says something you don't understand, you just naturally assume it's negative, whereas here... I don't know what people think of it... nothing, really. Not good, not bad, and just talking.
I already know what's in the book, don't need to learn it again, and besides, that's not how Thai people talk. Speaking of that, I have to goto the market, so will end this here.
Guess you back now from talad.
1. agree-most what Thai say is more like parrotting the very same frases anyone tells/repeats. Individual thinking is not a big thing here.
2. may I advice /tip you of 1 book; Outrageous Thai, of course not publised here in Th, but from Malaysia- it has streetlingo and many slang words. Mainly str8 or course. May not be available in KhKn though-even here in BKK very hard to find.
Abou the discussion; dear matt: did you realise that here in bigcity BKK are 1000s, or more like 10000s of Cambodians and Burmese/Myanmarese? They do like what you despise of farang: cling together, not speak Thai, cannot even read it, in their areas shops etc even have the signs in their own script. Due to some old commitment I often go to one of the Khmer areas- maybe same like Sukhvit whiteys, but for another group.? or not? Does not the very same happen anywhere in the USA?
Going to markets: here in BKK there are at least 100 tesco/BigCs (now that Carrefour has ceased to exist) and every of the 50 khet=district also has its own wet market- but in all those hyperstores I see 99% Thai and less as1% farang-they simple like to shop there without all the faults of the oldstyle wet markets.
Easy to despise things- maybe reality is not that easy 100% yes or no.

[cdnmatt]

2. may I advice /tip you of 1 book; Outrageous Thai, of course not publised here in Th, but from Malaysia- it has streetlingo and many slang words. Mainly str8 or course. May not be available in KhKn though-even here in BKK very hard to find.

Thanks for the tip, but even if I could find it, it would be useless for me. They speak Issan here, not Thai, so their slang is also totally different than what's spoken in BKK. Nah, I'm just doing my typical movie thing now, where it's in Thai with both, Thai and English subtitles. Then I have Kim sit down with me and help with pronunciation. Would prefer having an actual teacher for one-on-one sessions, but they just want to make money while teaching the Benjawan Poomsan Becker books, which is useless to me. Besides, this works good, because Kim inadvertently ends up learning more English!


Easy to despise things- maybe reality is not that easy 100% yes or no.

Geez, you guys sure take things and run with them, don't ya? I said it was a pet peeve, and I hardly despise it. And everyone getting pissy about it, I'm assuming you live in Thailand, but don't learn Thai? :-)

But again, I think that's only right. Same with us, we always bitch that if you want to live in our home countries, you should have to speak English, right? So why should it be any different for us living in Thailand? You can't impose one set of rules for everyone, then have a different set for yourself. Well, unless you're a politician, then you can. But whatever, hardly matters. It's not like I'm losing sleep over it.

[loke]

I agree , as a tourist u just here for a short time , you eat the food you like , maybe u just like the thai boys and not the food they eat, nothing wrong with that.

I have spent a night with a boy in his poor home in central Bangkok, I didnt feel comfortable about it, we slept on a mat with ants crawling on me and god knows what else.

But this was the boys life and he loved me staying there , and I eat what he did , no didnt like it but I survived.
Sometimes I do this , to remind me of how lucky I am to be borned in the right place. I try to appreciate the small things in life.

Just for a few days and then back to :party

[Beachlover]

brithai are you doing your utmost to be as annoying as possible?? Is it not clear that ONLY English is needed when in Australia or New Zealand for that matter.
Latin, thank f*** you answered that for me... there's only so many of his posts I can tolerate answering! :rolling:

Couldn't have said it better myself, except the bit below LOL.


The local populance has either being slaughtered or fucked out of existence.

[Marsilius]

Same with us, we always bitch that if you want to live in our home countries, you should have to speak English, right?

No, I don't think we do. True enough, a lot of us feel that if someone comes to our own country and wants to become a citizen it is right that they should speak the language before being allowed to do so.

But if others want to come while retaining their own home country's citizenship we don't worry too much about it. While it's obviously in their own interest for, say, Polish plumbers to have at least a rudimentary grasp of English if they want to find work in the UK, it's really up to them.

Thailand is different in that, as far as I am aware, it only allows foreigners into the country as guests - even the permanent retirement visa does not confer nationality. Hence there is presumably less expectation among Thai people that those guests "should have to speak" Thai. It is not the "same with us" because our views are formed in a society where we offer legally full integration to those who choose to immigrate.

[christianpfc]

Learning the country's language:

People who come to Thailand for holiday, business or retirement are usually from first world countries and wealthier than the average Thai.

People want to immigrate to the USA or Western Europe usually come from second or third world countries and are poorer than the average US-American or European.

That explains why it is optional for Expats to learn Thai, but obligatory for immigrants to the USA or Western Europe to learn the country's language. Or to put it shorter: we bring money, they come as beggars.

that has got to be one of the biggest piles of bullshit ive yet read on here that wasnt a bl post !!!!

Brithai I am not sure christian explained it properly and yet maybe he did. Coming from USA I think he does have a point there. So many people do flock to USA because they believe in what so many people say, the land of the free, you can do what you want, and finally everything so big and huge in USA (SG no I am not talking about cock now!).
We have 10s of thousands of Mexican people fleeing over the boarder each year and so many others on que from everywhere in the world that if they get to America they will be rich as they believe everyone has big houses and fancy cars, big money in USA.
That's what we hear all the time. Oh you from USA, you have big money! No, I think he may have a point there.

[latintopxxx]

brithai...stop deluding yourself.......the earth is not flat...elvis is dead....pigs don't fly...father christmas is not real...

christain says poor people learn rich peoples language as a reason to go to their country ...
and rich people who retire to a poorer country dont need to learn the lingo because they have more money that the natives ... you both think that is true ?? ...
as for you latinxxx fuck off trying to upset me ... elvis is dead ... pifft ... doppy fuk .. i saw him in the chippy just last week ... :tongue3:

Some of these comments left me gobsmacked...

I think some Americans should think about why they are not that popular outside of their own country, and also could show some dignity towards those people working in third world/developing countries (mostly in Asia) who are paying for 'the crunch' their so called "wealth" (based almost entirely on money yet to be earned) caused....

[christianpfc]

Here my thought expressed in yet another way: The pressure to learn the language of their new country is higher for immigrants from poorer countries into Western Europe or the USA than for Expats in Thailand. The reasons are mainly economical.


christain says poor people lean rich peoples language as a reason to go to their country ...
and rich people who retire to a poorer country dont need to learn the lingo because they have more money that the natives ... you both think that is true ?? ...
Exactly, that's how it is. If you are rich, you can get away with not speaking the country's language. If you are poor, it will be difficult, unless you live in areas with many immigrants from your homecountry.

still total bollox and you have just answered your own question.. if you was asking one ... you say expats dont need to learn the language because theres not so much need .. and why .. because expats live in pretty much the same places .. not many go to the middle of nowhere .. so they stick together therefore have no need to learn the locals lingo ... im sure you could go to any of the shitholes on the outskirts of paris .. and you will find thousands of immigrants who dont speak french .. and the reason why they dont .. because they all live together and have no need to learn it !!!
rich or poor people want to live with there own kind .. lord knows why .. i want to get away from england and english .. not go 5000 miles for beans on toast ...

[Smiles]

" ... that has got to be one of the biggest piles of bullshit ive yet read on here that wasnt a bl post !!!! ... "
Have no opinion whether Christian's post is bullshit or not . . . but I must admit the highlighted portion of this sentence is a joy to behold, and so so true.
Didn't expect such a sly insight from Brithai, but there you have it. A delight :alc:

[CoffeeBreak]

cdnmatt says:

"On the flip side, I should mention, there's loads of guys old and young who do the exact opposite. They decide same as Kim and myself, that if you're going to live in Thailand, you should probably go live with the Thais."


-The last thing that many of us who live in Thailand long time would ever want to do is to go and "live with the Thais". Dear oh dear. Do you really think we want to reside in the likes of vitually uninhabitable wood shacks? And be exposed to unsanitary living conditions? To have filthy and unhygience cooking and dirty drinking water? No air con, no proper plumbing, or waste system etc etc etc?
Because that's how the majority of Thais live especially those in the Issan slums.

No: I suspect cdnmatt does not live "with the Thais"; what he has done is set himself up in a place somewhere in the sticks where he has bought himself a level of western standards but at the same time has surrounded himself with a bunch of fawning and begging Thais and hence he can then boast about how he is in effect living like the natives.

No Westerner with any sense and with sufficient money would want to live the way most of the Thais do especially when it also involves being exposed to an extended family of spongers who are also layabouts and losers.

Some of the worst farangs in Thailand are those who go to live in shit holes of poverty and misery when they don't have to. And its laughable they then try to lecture the rest of us how we should be living.
You are having a laugh:
ain't you?!

[cdnmatt]

No Westerner with any sense and with sufficient money would want to live the way most of the Thais do especially when it also involves being exposed to an extended family of spongers who are also layabouts and losers.

You don't have the slightest clue as to how the typical middle class Thai lives, do you? I don't mean a typical rice farmer or security guard that makes 7000/month. I mean your typical engineer, bank manager, veterinarian, commercial bakery owner, etc. Not all Thais live in little shacks they made themselves, you idiot.

[latintopxxx]

cdnmatt......your definition of middle class might be spot on....but mt poor delusional dear....it's tiny...the vast majority are living day to day...why do you think boys are as cheap as chips....necessity....!!!
Do yourself a major favor and visit the slums surrounding BKK...real eye opener....not that I particularly care...as long as they keep producing gorgeous talent willing to bend for BHT500.....

You don't have the slightest clue as to how the typical middle class Thai lives, do you? I don't mean a typical rice farmer or security guard that makes 7000/month. I mean your typical engineer, bank manager, veterinarian, commercial bakery owner, etc. Not all Thais live in little shacks they made themselves, you idiot.

i must admit to being rather surprised all these bankers vets etc etc actually live in the jungle ... do you have an a.t.m in a hole in the trees somewhere ??

[Beachlover]

I can understand it. Lots of these guys are on the older side, and just want to live their lives in peace & comfort, while enjoying good weather & people. They're not interested in learning a new culture, or changing their ways any, which is fine with me... However, it does get on my nerves when they begin dictating life in Thailand and Thai people to me though.
Yep... I agree. Whichever way they live, talk and eat is fine. It's when they start making assertions about Thais that they turn into dickheads. They say all kinds of shit without any realisation that these things are only valid for the small cross-section of Thais THEY hang around (usually the lower class segment).

That's what this thread is all about...


I have spent a night with a boy in his poor home in central Bangkok, I didnt feel comfortable about it, we slept on a mat with ants crawling on me and god knows what else.

But this was the boys life and he loved me staying there , and I eat what he did , no didnt like it but I survived.
Sometimes I do this , to remind me of how lucky I am to be borned in the right place. I try to appreciate the small things in life.
That's great... I think what that does is it shows him you're versatile and adaptable (good qualities) and care about him enough that you're willing to get outside your comfort zone to be with him and experience what he does.

My BF does it for me all the time and it does make me feel good... he hangs out in bars and pubs he wouldn't usually go to, goes to concerts he wouldn't usually attend, comes clubbing in clubs he wouldn't usually visit, eats food he wouldn't usually eat and does other stuff he wouldn't usually do to be with me. Even better is he genuinely has a great time! He's just very versatile and can enjoy being in any environment.

At first he would insist on coming and I would be worried he'd be bored but he loves every minute of it! Great guy...

If you can do that with your Thai BF or a Thai who you're dating, you'll make him feel good about you. And, once you get over whatever discomforts there are, you'll probably find you have a great time with him, experiencing and being introduced to new things.


Here my thought expressed in yet another way: The pressure to learn the language of their new country is higher for immigrants from poorer countries into Western Europe or the USA than for Expats in Thailand. The reasons are mainly economical.
Totally agree and no idea why anyone would give you a hard time about this point... Anyone who's EVER been with or spent time around immigrants who are trying to make a new life for themselves in a new country knows this is true.

As an expat going to Thailand for a high-paid job or to retire, pressure to learn Thai is low. As an immigrant migrating to a wealthier country to start afresh from the bottom, pressure to learn the local language is high. Their earning capacity and ability to integrate is dependent on it.

[pong]

That's great... I think what that does is it shows him you're versatile and adaptable (good qualities) and care about him enough that you're willing to get outside your comfort zone to be with him and experience what he does.
My BF does it for me all the time and it does make me feel good
So time now to tell you that maybe change the roles nect time? You adapt to him-the richer to the poorer? Eat 15 bt noodle soup bahmee, go by (free) bus, sleep in nonAC rooms renting for 3000 bt/MO etc?
Were it not those always doing bisnis mainland Chinese who say: if live in country 1 eye- do like have 1 eye?
In plain neat english: when in Rome-do like the Romans.
Maybe then he feels even better, nah.

[martin911]

Ohhh beachy is soo versatile ,so lovely if he is taking his (sometime thai Bf ,who normally is sooooo busy ,but als takes time out for beachys fruit picking /window shopping expeditions ) to go to the place where the fun loving shorts and T shirts( are still in vogue ) place that is the ( 2012 ) now of today -- (not the last time the winter olympics were held in B/Ls home town )

Dear o Dear !!!!

[lexusgs]

:laughing3: Changing the subject entirely, I had two friends down from BKK last night. Took em to that Isaan concert thing you talked about on 3rd Road (I think) Defo worth a look
drunk as skunks and lots of cute guys around last night. Defo a must do for visitors

[Beachlover]

So time now to tell you that maybe change the roles nect time? You adapt to him-the richer to the poorer? Eat 15 bt noodle soup bahmee, go by (free) bus, sleep in nonAC rooms renting for 3000 bt/MO etc?
Were it not those always doing bisnis mainland Chinese who say: if live in country 1 eye- do like have 1 eye?
In plain neat english: when in Rome-do like the Romans.
Maybe then he feels even better, nah.
I already do that! Actually, I've always done that... all part of dating guys from various nationalities abroad and in Sydney (a melting pot of Asians).

It's just suddenly nice to come across someone who shares this attitude so keenly and genuinely and is able to have fun in any environment. He has as good a time going out to clubs with my straight Aussie mates as he does going to Thai clubs with his friends. Some of the Thai guys I've been out with were fairly picky and not so adaptable or willing to adapt.

Also, my current Thai BF is not poor! He makes more than some of my Aussie mates. I say current because I have dated poorer Thai guys (students and such) before and had no problem doing and living as they do... Really quite happy to stay in backpacker joints and eat at roadside stalls while traveling. Though in the long term you find a balance.


Ohhh beachy is soo versatile ,so lovely if he is taking his (sometime thai Bf ,who normally is sooooo busy ,but als takes time out for beachys fruit picking /window shopping expeditions ) to go to the place where the fun loving shorts and T shirts( are still in vogue ) place that is the ( 2012 ) now of today -- (not the last time the winter olympics were held in B/Ls home town )

Dear o Dear !!!!
Martin... do us a favour and get your BF to proofread your English for you before you post! Just WTF are you rambling on and on about?! LOL :rolling:

[kittyboy]

Some of these comments left me gobsmacked...

I think some Americans should think about why they are not that popular outside of their own country, and also could show some dignity towards those people working in third world/developing countries (mostly in Asia) who are paying for 'the crunch' their so called "wealth" (based almost entirely on money yet to be earned) caused....

The US has been the dominant world power since WWII and has done a pretty good job of setting up the world order (from which it has benefited greatly) and the world has gotten along nicely.

My experience as an american travelling all over the world is that americans are still liked and respected throughout much of the world. I think americans should be proud of the way we have been running the world for the last 65 years.

As for learning about local culture. I live in china. I teach and do research and learning chinese is not a high priority. Maybe for the average expat drinking and whoring are higher priorities than learning local language and customs...To each their own.

[christianpfc]

The US has been the dominant world power since WWII and has done a pretty good job of setting up the world order (from which it has benefited greatly) and the world has gotten along nicely.

My experience as an american travelling all over the world is that americans are still liked and respected throughout much of the world. I think americans should be proud of the way we have been running the world for the last 65 years.
I would rather say: It could have been worse.

[martin911]

So time now to tell you that maybe change the roles nect time? You adapt to him-the richer to the poorer? Eat 15 bt noodle soup bahmee, go by (free) bus, sleep in nonAC rooms renting for 3000 bt/MO etc?
Were it not those always doing bisnis mainland Chinese who say: if live in country 1 eye- do like have 1 eye?
In plain neat english: when in Rome-do like the Romans.
Maybe then he feels even better, nah.
I already do that! Actually, I've always done that... all part of dating guys from various nationalities abroad and in Sydney (a melting pot of Asians).

It's just suddenly nice to come across someone who shares this attitude so keenly and genuinely and is able to have fun in any environment. He has as good a time going out to clubs with my straight Aussie mates as he does going to Thai clubs with his friends. Some of the Thai guys I've been out with were fairly picky and not so adaptable or willing to adapt.

Also, my current Thai BF is not poor! He makes more than some of my Aussie mates. I say current because I have dated poorer Thai guys (students and such) before and had no problem doing and living as they do... Really quite happy to stay in backpacker joints and eat at roadside stalls while traveling. Though in the long term you find a balance.


Ohhh beachy is soo versatile ,so lovely if he is taking his (sometime thai Bf ,who normally is sooooo busy ,but als takes time out for beachys fruit picking /window shopping expeditions ) to go to the place where the fun loving shorts and T shirts( are still in vogue ) place that is the ( 2012 ) now of today -- (not the last time the winter olympics were held in B/Ls home town )

Dear o Dear !!!!
Martin... do us a favour and get your BF to proofread your English for you before you post! Just WTF are you rambling on and on about?! LOL :rolling:

Fuck i was going to reply to you but in fairness whats the point lol -- harmless boy !

Dunno what you guys are on about in my country there are plenty of Asians from China Vietname etc. who came here and happily live in there ghettoes without speaking English at all they have there own tv and newspapers and shopping areas and whole suburbs what is it about oh you must learn to speak the lingo if you live in Thailand must be White Mans Guilt I reckon.

[Beachlover]

-The last thing that many of us who live in Thailand long time would ever want to do is to go and "live with the Thais". Dear oh dear. Do you really think we want to reside in the likes of vitually uninhabitable wood shacks? And be exposed to unsanitary living conditions? To have filthy and unhygience cooking and dirty drinking water? No air con, no proper plumbing, or waste system etc etc etc?
Because that's how the majority of Thais live especially those in the Issan slums.
Matt's right... you don't have a clue and are probably basing this on the limited cross-section of Thais you've interacted with.

None of the Thais I know who have lived in Bangkok ever lived this way. They live in normal apartments and in normal hygienic and comfortable surrounds.

The only people who live this way are the poorest of rural Thais and some of the rural Thais who come to the city for work or live in slums.

Having said that, the "live as Thais do" statement Matt made is also a bit odd because there's such an enormous range of living circumstances for Thais... The disparity is massive, as it is in most rapidly-developing Asian countries.


harmless boy !
I'm proud of you, Martin! Reached that conclusion all on your own. Though it looks like you went through a bit of effort! :rolling:

You think people increase there IQ when they move to a different country I read opinion polls and letters to the editor in my own country and believe me most people are complete dickheads at home so why would they be different when they go and live in Thailand?

[Beachlover]

Dunno what you guys are on about in my country there are plenty of Asians from China Vietname etc. who came here and happily live in there ghettoes without speaking English at all they have there own tv and newspapers and shopping areas and whole suburbs...
Quite true... but just because thousands of immigrants do it doesn't make it right. You don't stay unemployed or evade taxes just because thousands of people also do it do you? In the long run, immigrants to Australia who fail to learn English and integrate with Australian society tend to worse off, socially and economically.