Assuming every Thai man is a money boy

[thrillbill]

I was wondering how other farangs/expats would handle this... My Thai bf and I have been together for 7 years. He is an athletic, fit good looking guy (some Thais thinks he is from Singapore) who looks 35 yr. though he is really 42 years old. (I am in my 50's) Over New Years weekend we checked into a 3 star hotel in Silom area for 2 nights and we both registered our names. That evening when we came from clubbing, the clerk wanted to check his ID thinking he was a money boy. It embarassed my bf and it irked me since the clerk was assuming every Thai man is a "money boy". My comment to the clerk was to check the names for room 562- there are two of us. I realize the clerk was concerned about security but there had to be a better way to ask. comments?? :violent1:

[Brisboy82]

I used to have this problem occasionally when travelling in Thailand with my ex who was from Singapore. He used to get ery pissed off about this. It is pretty rude and presumptuous.

[Nirvana]

had the same problem several years ago at the Tarntawan Bkk...checked in , came back later in the evening
security at the elevator asked my BF for his ID card ...I went ballistic ...staff at front desk stood there with glazed look on their face ,
needless to say I have never stayed there since ...
When we have checked into other hotels ,we both have passports, some will ask for only mine ...I tell them we both sign in ,
more glazed looks .............this is Thailand ..(where every Thai is a money boy ????)

[newyorkgeorge]

Unfortunately, that's the way it is here, i have had the same experience in many hotels, on the other hand, when i have taken a boy back from a bar, it is very comforting to know that the boy would not be able to leave the hotel until the front desk has called me to check everything is ok

I understand what some of you are saying but is it possible that you might be bit to quick or harsh to judge?
This is Thailand where it certainly is not uncommon for falang/tourists to come to gay hotels or regular hotels, go out and pick up one or more boys and take them to a hotel for friendship. For that matter calling someone they already know and have them meet you at the airport and check in with them. This is not Europe or USA or Australia where many many of the boys and girls would consider going with you for money so why woud it be uncommon for someone to think this? Especially if you are checking into a gay hotel.

Now may I also point out a Thai law.
The law states that a guesthouse or hotel owner will look at and record the ID of every person checked into the hotel or guesthouse. It is not a personal thing, it's the law. They are not doing it to record his age or keep his ID as they may think he is a moneyboy. Often I go to Bangkok with my boys who I have taken there for years and each and every time they record my passport number and his ID Card.

Get off the backs of people doing their jobs!
It's the law. If they don't do it and the police check the books, they can go to jail or get fined or have to pay some big tea money! :violent1:

[Patexpat]

My bf always books our hotel rooms as he can negotiate the Thai rate ... which is often VERY much reduced even in 4/5 star hotels. Funnily enough, no one has ever asked me for my id as '+ 1' when we get the key from reception .... :jok:

[anonone]

During a recent trip to BFs home, the guesthouse "resort" in Isan we stayed at did not have a bit of paperwork. They also did not ask for any type of ID, from me or him. And it was a very nice place...
Hand over a small amount of Baht and that was it. It actually felt very odd.


As for more regulated areas of Thailand, I don't think there is much else you can do.

I don't wish to get into any heated disagreement, I am only telling you what the law is and as everyone knows it all depends on who wants to follow which law and how they run their business. You can ask any owner or manager of any of the guest houses or hotels and they will verify what I said they are "supposed" to do. But sometimes they go down the soi in the wrong direction on a one way street because they "need or want" to go that way. Or they don't want to "offend" you so they just don't follow the law to the letter.
I am just telling you what the law says. If you are freinds with Jim or Gordon ask them. They showed me the law once and explained it to me because one of my boys who had lived with me for 4 years did not have hos ID card with him.

I have to agree that there IS a presumption in some hotels that any younger Thai sharing a room with an older Farang must be a rent boy.

In fact, the presumption can be that any younger Asian sharing a room with an older Farang must be a rent boy. I mention this because my BF is not Thai but IS Asian.

I have had experiences where, even though you Check-In together and both passports are produced and photocopied, you come back late at night and the night staff or security automatically demands to see my bf's ID card - never mine :evil4:

Equally I have stayed in hotels where there has been no such problem.

I accept what Justme/DaBoss says (it was so good he said it twice :laughing3: ) but it's not solely a matter of law - in my experience there IS a presumption.

:occasion9:

[Neal]

I accept what Justme/DaBoss says (it was so good he said it twice :laughing3: )

Oh Scottish you are just a tacky old cunt! :sign5:

[lukylok]

had the same problem several years ago at the Tarntawan Bkk...checked in , came back later in the evening
security at the elevator asked my BF for his ID card ...I went ballistic ...staff at front desk stood there with glazed look on their face ,
needless to say I have never stayed there since ...


When checking in at the Tarntawan they make you sign a declaration acknowledging that any guest will be asked his ID.
It is not a surprise.

[Brisboy82]

A Boy in twilight took me to a short time room across the road. Some security guy in the carpark opened the room and didn't ask id or anything. I wonder if they don't check id or if they just didn't check his id because they know him already.

[Brad the Impala]

The request for ID from someone going to a room, especially at night, who it appears may be a non resident, is normal policy of decent hotels around the world. It has everything to do with security and little to do with whether you are having sex with your guest, either paid or unpaid.

Thailand is fairly lax in application of this policy compared to most countries. The question is mostly who appears likely, by hotel staff, to be a non resident, and they have only the appearance and behaviour to go on. Thus if you look thai/oriental in Thailand, or black in Africa, or arab in North Africa, then you are more likely to be challenged. Equally if the guest looks or sounds like a slapper off the street then that is likely to elicit interest!

As it is a subjective decision individual members of hotel staff may interpret this policy according to their own prejudices.

It is not a judgment that every thai man is a money boy, although that judgment would fit nicely with some posters' perception, although in truth most thai men accompanying our posters to their rooms may very well be money boys.

..... if the guest looks or sounds like a slapper off the street then that is likely to elicit interest.....

For me, where your argument falls down is that whilst a Farang might look like the biggest slapper in Pattaya, 99.9% he will not be asked for ID or room key card when returning from an evening out.

I should know.

:occasion9:

[Brad the Impala]

[quote="Brad the Impala":1qw00dea]..... if the guest looks or sounds like a slapper off the street then that is likely to elicit interest.....

For me, where your argument falls down is that whilst a Farang might look like the biggest slapper in Pattaya, 99.9% he will not be asked for ID or room key card when returning from an evening out.

I should know.

:occasion9:[/quote:1qw00dea]

It's entirely believable that you appear to be the biggest slapper in Pattaya, but considerably less likely that you have been invited as a guest to a hotel room other than your own, which rather confirms my point.

It doesn't confirm your point at all - because you are working from a false premise - I have been invited many times to hotel rooms other than my own. I am extremely affable (but not offable) you know.

I know and believe that, as a Farang, I could walk (unregistered) into any decent sized Hotel, right past the reception and security, and make my way to the lifts and the bedrooms completely without challenge.

I know and believe that a young Thai or Asian boy would routinely be asked for ID (especially at night)

That's my point, and you know it's true.

:occasion9:

[Brad the Impala]

Scottie, I think that you must have mislaid your reading glasses if you don't think that I have made exactly the point that you are now labouring to argue over like a truculent trannie!



Thailand is fairly lax in application of this policy compared to most countries. The question is mostly who appears likely, by hotel staff, to be a non resident, and they have only the appearance and behaviour to go on. Thus if you look thai/oriental in Thailand, or black in Africa, or arab in North Africa, then you are more likely to be challenged.

You appear, even looking like a big girl's blouse, to be more likely to be a hotel resident than a Thai/Oriental guy.

Oh all right, you big flea's armpit

:occasion9:

[Nirvana]

And why am I not surprised my point was sadly missed....
My Bf checked in with a PASSPORT ...which surely has more credibility than some crappy piece of I.D .
that can be obtained in many places in Bkk or Pattaya ....
If one does not challange these idiosyncrasies ..Thais will remain second class citizens in their
own country , relising of course many Farang prefer it this way ...

[Brisboy82]

And why am I not surprised my point was sadly missed....
My Bf checked in with a PASSPORT ...which surely has more credibility than some crappy piece of I.D .
that can be obtained in many places in Bkk or Pattaya ....
If one does not challange these idiosyncrasies ..Thais will remain second class citizens in their
own country , relising of course many Farang prefer it this way ...

One time I checked into a hotel near khaosan with my Singaporean bf no problems. But later that night when we returned there they tried to stop him entering the hotel as this hotel actually had a policy of not allowing Thais inside at all. It was only after they realized he wasn't Thai that they allowed him to enter the hotel. It's a pretty disgraceful rule.

Well I didn't miss the passport or the "non-thai asian" point at all - I made both of these points in my posts - so gimme some credit guys, I'm feeling quite fragile after being taken to task by Brad.

:sign5:

[Lunchtime O'Booze]

Oh this is true and I have a good pal in Chaing Mai who is Tuk Tuk driver and a former Go Go Boy as was his father before him..maybe even his grandfather for all I know !

I love tradition..especially family tradition...perhaps his sons will be GO GO boys and I laugh as I say it to him over my G&T but I see the thoughtfull look on his face and his mind ticking over. :3some:

[bao-bao]

I realize the clerk was concerned about security but there had to be a better way to ask.
Yes, of course there was a better way to ask, but the clerk you dealt with wasn't trained to do so. I don't think you'll ever get much of a consensus on any forum on what the interpreted standard is, as you can't compare the policies of a high end hotel to one where one of the two entering a room is likely to have their end high, if you know what I mean...you can't compare the policies of the Oriental with those of the BBB Inn. There's no simple solution.

If there's indeed a law of some sort on the books maybe one of our innkeeper members could quote chapter and verse and settle the matter from a legal standpoint, but as the old TV show used to start out "There are eight million stories in the Naked City... this is one of them" - and most of the problem comes from the interpretation if you're not going to follow the letter of the law... and that would be difficult to enforce.

Although I reviewed the Regency Park hotel I'd think twice about staying there again after they embarrassed a physician friend of mine. He was dressed better than the manager of the hotel was, and had forgotten to remove his clearly visible photo hospital ID badge so there wasn't much question that he wasn't a street guy. I don't need to re-tell the story here but their enforcement of policy was spotty, at best. You also have the probability of different folks working different shifts, those who'd collect a joiner's fee and just pocket it and any number of other variables.

One place I know of has a prepared form for you to sign accepting all responsibility for your guest and their actions while on the premises if you want to avoid the ID checks.

It all comes down to liability more than prejudice, I'd say. If you have a problem with a hotel, speak with the manager. If it's not resolved in a civil manner I'd change hotels and let others know what my experience at that hotel had been. It doesn't repair the damage or solve anything, but it's something.

[latintopxxx]

- really weird post
- even stranger replies
- clothes don't make the man...so darlings being well dressed doesn't mean anything...gogo boys cam & do dress surprisingly well or do you think they should pin pink triangles on their sleeves a la hitler
- next time some drunk queen gets strangled in her room...or commits 'suicide"by being thrown out of a window all you darlings will be screamimh "why didn't the stupid hotel check ID's...or stop him..etc..etc...
-moral of the storey...if it looks like a duck...walks like a duck..squacks like a duck...it must be a duck...

.,..oh and by the way stop blaming the hotel staff for not asking nicely or what ever...if you were Thai and saw a steady stream of your country men/women being frog marched into the hotel to be used a sex objects your patience might just wear a bit thin...espercially if they';re making triple what you are???

[gumblebee]

There is a simple way for hotels to avoid such embarassement. All that is needed is to ask both parties entering together for ID.
That said I guess the issue is not big enough for most hotels to have established procedures :laughing3: for this kind of situation.
I guess the issue rarely occurs at smaller hotels or guesthouses with a more personal approach.
I'm always amazed that in most hotels you simply walk up to the reception and get your key, the only question being your room number.

[danny99]

had the same problem several years ago at the Tarntawan Bkk...checked in , came back later in the evening
security at the elevator asked my BF for his ID card ...I went ballistic ...staff at front desk stood there with glazed look on their face ,
needless to say I have never stayed there since ...

I also had a similar experience but with a girl, who happened to be from one of the wealthiest families in Thailand, and a little spitfire who was then married to my long time Australian friend [my straight b/f].

I was meeting her [and their 6yo son] for dinner and being a typical curious Thai woman, she wanted to have a look at the room. The same little righteous creep in his white uniform stopped us at the foyer lift at Tarntawan at 5.30 in the afternoon. I have no idea what she said to him but I doubt if he had ever been spoken to in Thai before like that before!
We then went up to look at the room, unimpeded, and also I have never been back to that place again, as apart from that experience I thought it was so plastic and overpriced, plus Doris Day music all day...yuk!

As Neal has already said it is just "the law" and is simply the hotel protecting themselves (and their guests.)

I went back to my room in the Tarntawan two weeks ago with an Indian fellow tourist that I'd met at Telephone bar earlier that day ( not a MB) and they stopped him but as he had literally just arrived in Bkk that day and was simply a tourist he had no ID on him and no matter what he / I they wouldn't let him up ( and this was at 4.30 in the afternoon).

I then (stupidly) asked the receptionist who I knew quite well by then to make a one off exception but he wouldn't / couldn't and I then had to stand and watch him squirm and hit the escape key on his computer several times (for no reason) and him opening and closing the reception book several times ( for no reason) as I'd obviously embarrassed him by making him say "no" to me in the first place which I felt bad about, anyway cut a long story short my friend did go back to his hotel, grabbed his ID and came back and all was well in the end - although as an aside to the story thanks to old British Rule in India and the repression of gay guys there and how they think about / have sex etc I'm almost sorry he bothered as I'm sure I could have spent that hour or two better with a Thai guy lol .

[martin911]

Slightly off topic re the country -
but it is not just in Thailand this happens in

My ex Phil bf (but still v good friend ) was at home in Davao for Christmas ,he was standing in line in a dept store xmas eve waiting to be served ,the farang behind him tapped him on the shoulder ,said -- OH i see you are a gay guy ,how much do you want to spend the next two days with me !!!!

Now Mark is 26 yo ,of small build (like most Phinoys ) BUT does NOT look the SLIGHTEST bit gay/camp/toot etc ,he is from a very wealthy business family ,and is als dressed stylishly but conservatively ( under family orders ,stupid i know but...... ) -the only thing he could think of that gave the farang the reason to think he was gay (because this never happened to him before that somebody assumed he was gay )--unless you have seen him in Bed Bar in Malate ,shirtless dancing up on the ledge !! lol ))
was that he had one of the Nab keyrings i had given to him last month , clutched in his hand as he was chattering away on his phone -long shot i know that the farang knew Nab but....
but he was totally flummoxed re the guy knowing he was gay

--anyway slight build and all as Mark is he was so incensed he turned and punched the farang in the nose -with the same hand he was holding the Nab keyring in -- so it did have another use !!!!-lots of blood he said !!---

Most places we stay in in manila we als have to register him in as well,and they ALS ring the room if say i checked in first ,and he arrived after me to recpition,with his name on the booking form already ,him with his ID --but they still ring the farang to check if its ok to let him up/give him a key --the only place it doesnt happen is to him is at The Penninsula --

Its hard for tha Asian gay guys to be treated like this .

[thrillbill]

I don't wish to get into any heated disagreement, I am only telling you what the law is and as everyone knows it all depends on who wants to follow which law and how they run their business. You can ask any owner or manager of any of the guest houses or hotels and they will verify what I said they are "supposed" to do. But sometimes they go down the soi in the wrong direction on a one way street because they "need or want" to go that way. Or they don't want to "offend" you so they just don't follow the law to the letter.
I am just telling you what the law says. If you are freinds with Jim or Gordon ask them. They showed me the law once and explained it to me because one of my boys who had lived with me for 4 years did not have hos ID card with him.
*********************************
I think you misunderstand. Yes, it is a law to register any "guests" entering the hotel room and we all know how a photocopy is taken of our passport or ID. The point I am making is that my bf and both both gave our ID's to the hotel clerk that morning, so they should have know there were "two" guests. It isn't like I am 30 or 40 years older than my bf which makes it look more "suspicious". How would a 4 or 5 star hotel handle this with a "straight" man bringing in his "Asian" wife or girlfriend? I think there is a more diplomatic way of checking. We should not assume that every Thai man is a "money boy".

How do I Say this?
When you register to stay in the hotel room, yes, you present your passport or ID card so that they can put you into the computer.
Well there are several shifts, one must assume in the hotel. How does one clerk know who you are when you checked in on another shift?
No, they need to look at your ID and verify it with what names are in the computer and the picture. Do you think everyone remembers what your photo looked like? Add all these registered guests and all these money boys and you just get a cluster fuck.
Flow with it, it is not going to be the end of your life.

[martin911]

How do I Say this?
When you register to stay in the hotel room, yes, you present your passport or ID card so that they can put you into the computer.
Well there are several shifts, one must assume in the hotel. How does one clerk know who you are when you checked in on another shift?
No, they need to look at your ID and verify it with what names are in the computer and the picture. Do you think everyone remembers what your photo looked like? Add all these registered guests and all these money boys and you just get a cluster fuck.
Flow with it, it is not going to be the end of your life.


Mabye easy for you to say "flow with it " --what do u think an asian guy feels like when!! --his name is already reg as a guest ,he shows his ID ,and some snotty reception person STILL rings the Farang in the room to see if it is ok to let the Asian boy up ?? ( a well educated person of totally his own means!!, and in my mind its the same as he were somebody of different status --not nice feeling ,)

Why should he flow with it ?? -i guess you are a pretty thick skinned guy and doesnt let much like that crap bother you ,rightly so --but its different i think for the lad on the end of the looks >

Anyway i dont think there is any solution to it -- it is what it is !!!

OK, let me try again and word it differently.
You check in with your boyfriend or whomever. Both of you are registered in the room. He goes out and comes back and his ID is in the room. The receptionist changes and someone has to verify somehow that he is allowed up to that room.
I would think that if you BOTH come back at the same time, you should BOTH have ID as there may be no way to tell who you are and if you are supposed to be in the hotel. He verifies the names with the IDs.

If he has his ID then being asked for his ID so they can verify that he is registered, should be a safety measure and personally I would feel better that people are not just aimlessly walking around in the halls.

[Beachlover]

Thrillbill... I think it just depends how the request is made. If it's polite and courteous, I would have no problem. I know how it can be perceived otherwise but technically, asking for your partner's ID doesn't not translate to "I think your partner is a moneyboy".

I agree that at the end of the day, in accordance with the law, they should be checking and collecting the ID of any guest coming through the door. The problem is how do they tell who is a registered guest and who isn't. I guess anyone who looks like they might be a prossie is assumed to be an unregistered guest.


I'm always amazed that in most hotels you simply walk up to the reception and get your key, the only question being your room number.
Most? Less than 10% of the hotels I've stayed at in Thailand had that system where they expect you to hand in your key on exiting. I still don't get why the hell any hotel would have that policy.

... but yes, in those few such hotels I experienced, I was unnerved that all I had to do is say my room number. That's off putting. After a bit of that, I made it a policy to just take my key with me instead of handing it in on the way out (despite their request).


The request for ID from someone going to a room, especially at night, who it appears may be a non resident, is normal policy of decent hotels around the world. It has everything to do with security and little to do with whether you are having sex with your guest, either paid or unpaid.
I don't disagree with what you say but funnily enough, out of several other countries in Asia, where I've brought back an unregistered guest to my hotel, I've never had the hotel ask my guest for ID. The only time I've had a REAL problem was when another guy invited me back to HIS hotel... I didn't have my passport on me and it took around 20 minutes and a couple of phone calls to convince the desk staff to let me in without it! In the end they accepted a photocopy of my passport (which I keep in my wallet).

[GWMinUS]

I feel the issue I always face is when checking in with a friend.

I always have him register and tell the front desk he is a hotel guest. And that he will be charging to the room.
Make sure he is given a room card.
I want him to have all the privileges of staying at the hotel.

My "solution" has been to be sure he takes his room card with him and flashes it to security if they are paying attention.
It seems to work.
And if he is challenged then I go with him to the front desk and make certain they are aware he is a registered guest.
Does not help to blow your stack. Even if it is boiling inside your head...

Exactly GWM. I went to the Shangri-la which is like my second home in BKK. Usually I get a room with a balcony so that my bpys can smoke outside but this time it was unavailable. The boys went outside the hotel and sat down to smoke and a security guard was trying to shoo them away saying that they could not sit there. They came up and told me and when I went down to reception and told them that I wasn't happy, I was assured it would be resolved. Never saw that security guard again and they were able to sit wherever they damned well wanted.